#NewClassicILIB

Chapter 24
Bury

I had not heard anything from Isaiah since then. I tried to check on his social media accounts from time to time. Unfortunately, he didn't have any new post, aside from retweets from New Classic's official account.

While I continued stirring the straw on my drink, I kept looking back what happened the other night. I was thinking if I did the right thing or not. But I just followed my heart.

"You're right..." Isaiah said after a long pause.

I never expected that he would actually consider my piece of advice. I thought he would just disregard what I said or get angry at me for prying in. To my surprise, he was open about it.

"Thank you for listening, Zendaya," he then, thanked me and smiled a bit, though his eyes were moist. "You help me think straight about things... I appreciate it."

I stayed with him until he finally settled down. He offered to take me home since he was thankful for my company. And so, I agreed and he walked me home in silence. I didn't forget putting distance between us, though. Even if we were walking together, I was a meter away from him. We didn't talk anymore as he was in deep thought while we traveled by foot. I gave him that because I knew he needed to clear things inside his head.

I had been there. I had experienced what he's currently experiencing. I knew how bad pain could stir up your mind. It could make you feel like you're going crazy. All negative and depressing thoughts would barged into your mind without permission, leading you to feel more miserable and hopeless.

Pain should only stay in our hearts; it should never reach our minds. Once pain conquers your mind, it will affect your mentality―making you think or do things that might serve threats to your life.

It was funny and surprising how I could suddenly stand up like a strong woman in front him when just days ago, I was having a hard time crawling to keep living my life. I guessed seeing him hurting pushed me to become the heroine he needed.

"Dito lang ako," anunsyo ko kay Isaiah dahil mukhang wala siyang balak huminto sa paglalakad kahit na tumigil na ako sa harap ng aming bahay.

Like he was just pulled out of reverie, he snapped back to reality and turned to me again. He quickly glanced at our house before fixing his eyes on me.

"Okay, then..." he said. "Thank you again for your time."

Tipid akong ngumiti at umiling sa kanya. "Salamat din sa paghatid sa akin."

He nodded. "I'll go now."

"Ah, sige. Mag-ingat ka."

He pursed his lips, then nodded again. "Okay. See you soon."

Pagkatapos niyang magpaalam sa akin, tumalikod na siya ulit para bumalik sa park. Kaninang paalis kami roon ay nakita ko ang kanyang sasakyan na nakaparada. I had no idea why I didn't notice it right away when I arrived at the park.

Pagkapasok ko sa bahay ay nandoon si daddy sa tanggapan. He was doing work on his laptop with a blueprint laid out on the center table as a guide.

He could've worked inside his room, but he was working at the living room instead.

"Saan ka nagpunta?" bungad na tanong sa akin ni daddy. "May nakita akong naghatid sa 'yo. Sino 'yon?"

"Just a friend of mine," I vaguely answered.

Dad nodded his head and smiled. "That's good..." he commented. "I'm happy that you're starting to meet with your friends again."

As I looked in my father's eyes, he looked genuinely happy that I really did meet up with a friend. He must be worried about me. Siguro ay napansin niya rin ang pagiging mailap ko sa ibang tao at ngayon ay natutuwa siya dahil unti-unti na akong bumabalik sa dati.

Feeling the same relief for my own progress, I mirrored the smile of my father, seeing the proud smile of my mother in his eyes.

"Zendaya!"

I stopped playing with the straw as I snapped my head up to look at the overly excited Jerlyn. She was so enthusiastic to spend some time with me as 'a normal person' according to her.

It made me remember our exchange of text messages earlier when I invited her out today.

To: Jerlyn
Can we meet later?

From: Jerlyn
Sino ka? Kinidnap mo ba ang best friend ko?

Her first reply made me roll my eyes and chuckle at the same time.

To: Jerlyn
Ayaw mo ba?

From: Jerlyn
Joke lang! Yes, I want to meet you later. Normal na Zendaya na ba ang mamemeet ko mamaya?

Napailing na lang ako at saka nagtipa ng reply sa kanya.

To: Jerlyn
Same café. Uwian ko na ng 3PM. I'll wait for you.

Hindi ko na napansin ang sinabi niya. I went straight to the point with my reply.

From: Jerlyn
Noted! See you later!

Though she never failed to visit me these past few days during her free time, it seemed like she really did miss me a lot. As soon as she got closer, she pulled me in for a hug.

"I love you. I miss you," she cutely whispered, tightly locking me in her embrace.

It made me smile, but at the same time, I was embarrassed because other people in the café were looking at us like weirdos.

"Okay na, Jerlyn. Okay na..." sabi ko habang kumakawala sa kanyang mahigpit na yakap.

Umiling si Jerlyn at hindi ako agad pinakawalan. Nilibot ko ang tingin ko sa buong coffee shop. Mabuti na lang at hindi na kami masyadong binigyang pansin ng iba.

"Are you okay now?" nag-aalala niya pa ring tanong sa akin nang makabalik sa upuan pagkatapos kuhanin ang inorder na inumin.

I smiled and answered, "I think so..."

She exhaled deeply. "But at least you're talking to me now," she said. "I couldn't get through you these past few days. I'm really worried about you, Zendaya."

"I know," I said and apologetically looked at her. "I'm sorry for making you worried."

While sipping on her iced caffe latte, she shook her head. "Naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit at hindi mo lang talaga maaalis ang pag-aalala sa akin," sabi niya. "Though I wished you could've leaned on me more. I might not lost a parent due to death, but I still did lose my father, Zendaya. Ever since he left us, I haven't heard anything from him."

Saglit akong natigil nang maalala ko ang pinagdaanan ng matalik na kaibigan. How could I even forget about that?

When we were still in high school, her parents separated. I saw her broke down. I saw how much she suffered. She was also aloof and lethargic, but I was proud of her because she managed to get over it and pick herself up. Even though we were still young back then, she was already a strong girl.

"I just wished that I could have helped you more... You know..." she said that in a nonchalant manner, but I could tell that she felt regretful.

Napangiti naman ako. "You helped me a lot, Jerlyn."

Her eyes squinted as her brows furrowed. "In what way?" She was asking for assurance.

"You never left me even though I wasn't giving you attention. You were there even if I didn't ask for it," I told her. "That already meant a lot for me. Kasi alam kong kahit ano 'ng mangyari ay hindi mo ako iiwan. Alam kong lagi kang nandyan para sa akin."

She finally smiled again. "You must not remember, but you were also there for me before, Zendaya," she reminded me. "It's the least thing I could do for you―and you're my best friend!"

After the heart-to-heart talk with Jerlyn, we talked about trivial things. I started catching up with regards to her relationship with Miggy, who finally became her boyfriend. Seeing how her eyes shined while talking about him, I slightly felt complacent for Jerlyn. Though I really hoped that Miggy wouldn't just be one of the guys who came to play around with my best friend's heart.

However, so far, I could see that he's a better guy than those jerks and assholes she dated before. He seemed trustworthy. He knew how to make Jerlyn feel secured. He gave her enough assurance not to worry.

Jerlyn wasn't as paranoid and uneasy as she was before. I didn't know if she just became matured or she just really found the right guy.

"How about you?" she asked, sounding so scandalous like she was fishing for a juicy news. "I didn't plan on asking you about this since I don't know if you're okay already, but I can't keep it to myself anymore..." She pulled out her phone and showed me a text message from my father.

Napakunot ang aking noo. Kinuha ko kaagad ang kanyang cellphone para mabasa nang maayos ang palitan nila ng mensahe ni daddy.

From: Tito Richmond
Good evening, Jerlyn. Sorry to disturb you. I just want to ask something.

To: Tito Richmond
Go ahead po, Tito. Is this about Zendaya?

From: Tito Richmond
Well, yes. May kilala ka bang kaibigan na lalaki ni Zendaya?

I bit my lower lip. This must be when I went out to the park and Isaiah walked me home.

To: Tito Richmond
Po? Lalaki po? Bakit po?

I could hear Jerlyn's scandalous voice as I read her reply to my father.

From: Tito Richmond
Yes. Kauuwi niya lang at mayroong naghatid sa kanyang lalaki. I just thought that you might know this guy friend of her.

Hindi ko na matuloy ang pagbabasa at nilapag na ang cellphone sa lamesa. I pushed it closer to Jerlyn. I could feel my cheeks heating up because of embarrassment.

"Kailan pa kayo naging textmate ng daddy ko?" tanong ko kay Jerlyn.

"That's not important, Zendaya," she said, her eyes showing curiosity. "I don't know that you have a guy friend. Sino ba 'yon? Hinatid ka pa, ah!"

I knew I couldn't get pass her question, so I leaned closer. "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

Mas lalong napakunot ang noo niya. "Bakit ko naman sasabihin sa iba?"

Napabuntonghininga ako. "It's Isaiah."

"Oh my God! Malandi ka!" she exclaimed and accused me.

I wasn't offended because it was a harmless and playful accusation.

"Bakit kayo nagkita? Bakit ka niya hinatid?"

"It's not what you think it is, Jerlyn," I cleared things out right away before her imagination started to run wild. "It was a coincidence! Pumunta lang ako sa park at nagulat ako na nandoon siya."

Naningkit naman ang kanyang mga mata ngayon. "Ano ang nangyari? Bakit siya nandoon?"

"I don't know..."

I really had no idea why he was there that night. I didn't get to ask why he went there, and it felt like it wasn't the right time to ask him about such trivial things since he was hurting.

"Ano ang pinag-usapan ninyong dalawa kung ganoon?" Hindi pa rin mapanatag si Jerlyn sa mga sagot ko. She wanted to know more about my coincidental meet up with Isaiah.

As much as I wanted to tell her everything, I didn't want to break Isaiah's trust. Siguro kaya nasabi sa akin ni Isaiah ang personal na problema niya ay dahil ako ang naroroon nung kailangan niya nang makakausap, pero hindi ibig sabihin noon na pinagkakatiwalaan niya ako ng buo. Nadala lang siguro siya ng kanyang nararamdaman. Ngunit kung sakali mang may tiwala talaga siya sa akin, ayoko siyang biguin.

"It's not that important," sabi ko na lang.

"Kung ganoon ay bakit ganyan ang itsura mo?" She didn't buy my answer. "I know you well, Zendaya. You can't keep things from me, you know."

I knew that but... "I just don't want to break Isaiah's trust."

"Alam mo―wala naman akong pakialam kay Isaiah or whatever," sabi niya. "I don't care whatever he did or do. As long as his actions aren't harming other people, I don't give a damn. He's free to do whatever he wants to. However, if I can see that it concerns you, I might look nosy, but I just want to tell you that I won't shut up."

Hindi ako agad nakapagsalita. Tinitigan ko lamang si Jerlyn at hindi naman siya nagpatalo sa akin.

"You've been through a lot, Zendaya. I can see that whatever you and Isaiah talked about the other night is clearly disturbing you," she told me. "I just don't want you to go through another shit."

Biting my lower lip, I brought my head down. If I couldn't say anything about Isaiah's relationship problem, then I guessed I could tell her about my impossible feelings for my idol, which she had warned me about.

"Remember when you told me not to fall in love with him?" I asked, my voice quiet as I was embarrassed admitting the truth about being a delusional fan.

Her eyes widened. "Sinasabi ko na nga ba!" Mukhang mas problemado pa siya sa akin. "I already warned you before, Zendaya!"

I had not told this to anyone yet. She's the first one to know about it. At sa tingin ko ay sa kanya ko lang makakayang sabihin 'to.

"Don't tell me umamin ka sa kanya noong gabing 'yon?" Hindi mapakali niyang tanong.

Agad akong umiling. "Of course, I didn't!" pagtanggi ko.

I could never do that. He should never find out about it. These feelings should be kept in a bottle and sealed with a very tight cork. It's something that shouldn't be set free.

"What will you do now?" Jerlyn asked me. She was genuinely concerned of me.

"Bury my feelings." So that it would be harder for me to dig it up.

Jerlyn didn't look satisfied with my answer. "Be careful," she said. "Sometimes if you bury your feelings, it will only grow more."

I held on to Jerlyn's advice. Kaya lang ay mas lalo lamang akong naguluhan. I didn't know how to handle my feelings anymore. Nangangapa pa ako kung ano ang tama o dapat na gawin. I was being way too cautious.

Is it really like this the first time you experienced falling in love?

The sudden vibration and chime of my phone startled me, while I was lost in my thoughts. I looked at the notification through my lockscreen.

At first I thought I was hallucinating as I couldn't stop thinking about Isaiah, but then I realized that the notification really came from him. He just sent me a direct message on Twitter using his official account. It wasn't a poser account. It was his verified account!

I immediately unlocked my phone to read his message.

@isaiahmallari:
Hey. I'm here at the park. Can you come out and meet me now?