#NewClassicILIB

Chapter 13
Chocolate

Drowning myself in my studies and my responsibilities, I somehow managed to keep myself from thinking about what happened that night. I never let myself idle to push the unwanted thoughts off my mind.

That night, knowing that I had to inform Kuya Zedrick, I talked to him about what happened once he got home.

"What happened?" He gently brushed a stray lock of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

"They fought..." I told him, my voice quiet. "Nakita namin ni mommy si daddy kanina na mayroong kasamang babae. She couldn't control herself that she physically hurt the woman. Ang sabi naman ni daddy ay kliyente niya 'yon. Mukhang hindi rin matutuloy ang project ni daddy. Nagdadalawang-isip ang babae dahil sa ginawa ni mommy. Daddy was disappointed because it was an important project for him."

My brother clenched his jaw, probably stopping himself from giving any harsh comments in front of me.

"Mommy's feeling guilty. She's blaming herself..." My breath hitched on my throat as I remembered how my mother cried on my shoulder earlier. My blouse's left yoke was soaked with tears that I could feel it on my skin. "I think she needs help, Kuya..."

"I'll try to talk to her," he calmly said and smiled to assure me. "Don't worry about it."

Kuya Zedrick really did talk with my mother about it. He said that mommy told him that she'd consider getting emotional counseling once she has time. Hindi pumayag si Kuya Zedrick na salita lang ni mommy ang makukuha niya kaya sinabi niyang siya mismo ang magbo-book kay mommy ng appointment sa therapist at sasama rin siya.

Once I got the assurance I needed from my mother, I was able to focus on other things. Hindi na ako masyadong namroblema tungkol sa kanyang mental health. I knew my brother could handle her well. Mas nakikinig si mommy kay Kuya Zedrick. It wouldn't patch up her relationship with my father, but the most important thing for me was her mental health.

I knew my mother was just staying with my father for our sake. She was holding on well just to give us a complete family as we grow up.

Sometimes, I wanted to give her a signal that it's okay to finally let go. However, I also asked myself at the same time―is it really okay with me?

Kahit na tanggap kong maaring hindi na talaga nila maaayos ang kanilang pagsasama, minsan ay naniniwala pa rin akong magiging maayos ang lahat. I just couldn't let go of the tiniest hope in my heart. I was scared that once I stop hoping, that's the time when darkness would finally conquer my life. And that's why in the end, I would stop myself and be selfish.

"I think this is okay..." Mr. Joel nodded his head, after reading our fan project proposal. "Are you sure that you don't need more funds for this? Mukhang malaki ang kailangan ninyong gastusin."

"We still have money left from our funds and we also gathered donations from the fans," I told him. "As per our estimation, we have enough for the production of ten thousand banners and smiley cardboards. Kasama na rin po roon ang food support namin for the members."

As what we had decided, we would do two fan projects on the day of the concert. When New Classic sings Smile, we will raise the smiley cardboards. And during the encore, while they are singing Moments, we will show them the banner.

Si Dawn na ang gumawa ng layout ng banner at smiley cardboard. Nanghingi rin kami ng suggestions sa First Class kung ano ang magandang ilagay sa banner. Ako naman ay naghanap ng supplier kung saan kami makakamura. I asked Kuya Zedrick to come with me, during his day off. Nakahanap kami sa may Recto na mas mura pa ang rates sa pinagpagawaan namin ng freebies noong fan gathering.

Isa sa mga nagbigay ng donations ay si Aya. Since she couldn't attend the concert, she donated ten thousand pesos to our donation drive. Ayoko pa ngang tanggapin noong una dahil malaking pera 'yon, ngunit nagpumilit siya. Because of her donation, we reached our target amount sooner than expected.

"Kung ganoon ay okay na 'to," nakangiting sabi sa akin ni Mr. Joel. "Pero paano ninyo pala idi-distribute ang banners sa lahat?"

"Ayon nga po sana ang ipapaalam ko po sa inyo," sabi ko at umaayos sa aking pagkakaupo. "Kung okay lang po ay para sa mga seated, ilalagay na po namin sa mga upuan 'yong banners bago magsimula ang concert. Para sa mga standing naman po, we will distribute it to them before they enter the coliseum. Doon po kami sa may entrance ni Dawn pu-puwesto."

Tumango si Mr. Joel. "I'll discuss that with the management, pero wala naman akong nakikitang problema roon," sabi niya. "Pero kailangan ko pa rin ito ipaalam kaya sandali lang... I'll go to their office to discuss the fan project with them and get their permission."

"Sige po. Hintayin ko na lang po," sabi ko na lang.

"Okay. I'll be quick." Mabilis na lumabas si Mr. Joel, dala-dala niya ang aming fan project proposal.

Napabuntong hininga naman ako at saka inilabas ang iPad sa aking bag. Tiningnan ko ang account ng New Classic kung mayroon silang bagong post. Minsan kasi ay hindi nagnonotify sa akin ang ibang mga post nila kaya nahuhuli ako sa pag-update sa aming fanbase account.

I breathed in relief when I saw that their recent post was still the pre-order form they posted last night. It was the pre-order form of New Classic's official lightstick. After one week, they would close the order form. But of course, I already sent the form, as soon as it was posted last night.

Magbebenta rin sila sa concert day mismo, pero nagpa-pre-order na rin sila kung gusto mong makuha nang mas madali ang lighstick at para na rin ma-estimate nila ang dami ng bibili.

The design of the lightstick was simple and clean, yet elegant-looking, in my opinion. The New First Classic symbol, in rainbow gradient, was the highlight of the lightstick, and it was enclosed in a pentagon-shaped acrylic glass. May kasama rin daw itong official mga freebies na hindi pa ina-aannounce kaya naman sulit na sulit ang bayad.

Matapos kong tingnan ang account ay kinuha ko naman ang aking libro mula sa bag. While waiting for Mr. Joel, I decided to just study for my quiz tomorrow, so that I wouldn't waste time just idling. Pag-uwi ko nga mamaya ay may gagawin pa akong written report na kailangan ding ipasa bukas.

Maaga naming tinapos ang proposal sa fan project para agad naming maasikaso ang lahat at hindi sumabay sa hell week namin ni Dawn. Dapat bago mag-December ay matapos na namin ang lahat. We still have less than a month left, so we still have time. Pero maganda na 'yong wala na kaming po-problemahin.

As I was focused on reading the articles, I reclined on the backrest of the couch and pursed my lips. I immediately found comfort as I began studying. Siguro ay dahil tahimik na rin sa loob ng office at walang ingay ay agad akong nakapagpokus.

Natigil lamang ako sa pagbabasa nang biglang may kumatok sa pintuan. I raised my head on the door, anticipating the entrance of whoever knocked on it.

When Isaiah opened the door and entered, I held my breath to control my expression. I shifted my position and sat straight in an instant.

He was wearing a casual attire―plain white shirt, tucked on his denim pants. However, he still looked dashingly handsome.

I knew that they were at the company, rehearsing for their performance in MTV Europe Music Award next week. At the same time, they also had rehearsals for their upcoming concert. I just didn't expect that I'd meet him.

Nang makita niyang wala sa table si Mr. Joel ay saka niya lamang ako nilingon.

"Hi," he greeted me with a smile. "Do you know where Mr. Joel went?"

"Uh, lumabas siya para may itanong sa management," simpleng sagot ko, iniiwasang madulas sa fan project na pinaplano namin para sa kanila.

Masaya ako dahil walang bahid ng kaba ang aking pagsasalita. Hindi rin ako nautal sa kanyang harapan. I sounded so natural, like his presence didn't matter to me. But to be honest, my heart was already doing circus tricks inside my chest.

He nodded and licked his lips, then his eyes fell on my lap. "You're studying?"

Napatingin din tuloy ako sa libro ko bago muling inangat ang tingin sa kanya. "Oo..." nahihiya kong sabi. "May quiz kasi ako bukas."

"Oh! But then, you're here, instead of studying at home," he said, his eyes slightly expressing concern. Then, he casually walked inside the office, closed the door, and sat in front of me. "Is it hard? Being the president of First Class and a student, at the same time?"

I couldn't believe that I was having a conversation with Isaiah. If he just asked one question, I'd answer it and just be fine. However, he was building up a conversation with me that I was getting cold sweats. Hindi ito ang unang beses na nakausap ko siya, pero hindi tumagal nang ganito.

"Okay lang naman..." nag-aangalan kong sabi, mahigpit na hawak ang aking libro.

"Hindi ka napapagod?" sunod niyang tanong sa akin at mukhang talagang kuryoso.

It felt like I was in a nerve-racking job interview. His questions were simple, but it put me under great pressure.

"Uhm, it's tiring but..." I couldn't help but smile, knowing why I decided to take the responsibility in the first place. "I love what I'm doing, so it's fine with me."

When I saw Isaiah observing me with a hooded gaze, I stopped smiling and pursed my lips again, feeling conscious with his stare.

"At saka, mas nakakapagod nga ang ginagawa ninyo," dagdag ko na lang. "It's the least I could do to support the band. Ganoon na rin kami ng mga co-admins ko."

He nodded. "You're right..." His lips broke into a smile. "But just like what you said, it's tiring, but we're also doing what we love."

My lips parted as I saw him smiling genuinely. I couldn't help but to admire him, seeing his eyes lit up, burning in passion for music. His smile made my chest feel tight.

I was so drawn to his eyes that I couldn't let go of his stare. Kung hindi lamang nakabalik si Mr. Joel ay baka nagmukha na akong tanga sa pagtitig sa kanya.

"Oh, Isaiah, bakit ka nandito?" gulat niyang tanong nang madatnan si Isaiah sa kanyang opisina.

Isaiah stood up and averted his eyes from mine. He turned to Mr. Joel and said, "We need you in the studio. The performance director has something to discuss with you."

"Ay, sige!" Natatarantang lumingon sa akin si Mr. Joel. "Saglit lang ulit, Zendaya."

Ngumiti ako. "Wala pong problema."

Inilapag ni Mr. Joel ang mga papel na dala sa kanyang lamesa bago lumabas ng opisina kasama si Isaiah.

I exaggeratedly let out a deep breath, once Isaiah was out. Feeling my heart beating abnormally fast, I placed my hand against my chest, thinking that it would help calming it down.

I did great talking to him, though. I was confident that my nervousness wasn't obvious. I managed to have a conversation to him without stuttering. We were just like acquaintances casually talking about life. I blushed just by thinking about being acquainted to him.

Mabilis ko ring itinigil ang pag-iisip sa ganoong bagay at itinuloy na lamang ang pag-aaral. Nagulat naman ako nang makapalipas ang ilang minuto ay bumalik ulit si Isaiah sa opisina. Muli akong natigil ang pagbabasa.

"Sorry. Did I disturb you again?" He gave me an apologetic smile.

I gulped down my nervousness, smiled back, and shook my head. "No, it's fine."

"I just want to give you this," he said and gave out a chocolate bar.

Ngayon ay hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Hindi ako makapagsalita agad. Nakatingin lamang akong sa kanyang kamay na nakalahad sa akin, kung saang hawak niya ang chocolate.

"When I was still studying before, chocolate really helps me," he explained. "And sometimes when I write songs, I also eat chocolate."

Since I was so dumbfounded and stunned to make a move, he stepped closer and reached out to hold my hand. He placed the chocolate bar on my palm. The warmth I got from his band, spread out all over me.

My mind immediately recalled that moment four years ago. Feeling his warmth brought me nostalgia. The way he held my hand before because I didn't move to take the guitar pick from him, I felt the same thing as he held my hand this time.

I felt a pang of longing for my most cherished memory that had been forgotten by him. It brought happiness and pain in my heart.

"Thank you for working hard for the band," he told me and released my hand from his hold.

My eyes were still glued on my hand holding the chocolate bar. I couldn't bring my hand down.

"Well, I have to go back to the studio now," he quickly said. "Good luck!"

Kung kailang wala na siya ay saka lamang ako muling nag-angat ng tingin. Instead of finding him in front of me, I was left facing the empty wall.

Once again, I brought my gaze down on my hand. My lips curled upwards into a smile as I looked at the chocolate bar he gave me. I tightly gripped on it, still feeling his warmth lingering on me.