Chapter 9

"So, how did it go?" Robin questioned, walking into the room.

I swear, I could have killed him right then and there for interrupting Harry. Why couldn't he have waited about half a minute to come in?!

Mum and Anne looked at each other. "I guess, the past is the past, right?" Anne asked.

Mum nodded. "Yeah, we were both teenagers back then, we didn't know any better," she agreed.

"So, let's go back to being friends?" Anne smiled.

Mum hesitated for a moment. "Let's... try."

Anne nodded. "Just promise me that you'll stay away from Robin," she winked.

Mum chuckled slightly. "Of course, as long as you stay away from Mark."

"Of course."

"Well, looks like you did it guys," Robin smiled at both Harry and me.

Harry still had that hurt look on his face, and his mouth was ajar since he'd been about to say something before he was interrupted by Robin.

All I wanted was to apologise to him for what I'd thought of him. I didn't think Harry was that jerk and slut I had thought he was anymore. Sure, he'd told me that he couldn't be seen with me because I was an outcast, and sure, it had hurt, but now it didn't seem as though he had meant what he said.

Mark walked into the room with my sisters behind him. "You done fighting?"

Anne nodded. "Yes, we just treated each other like shit back in high school when we were supposed to be best friends."

"Well, I'm just happy you can talk to each other without wanting to spit on the other," he chuckled.

We were all soon gathered around the kitchen table and eating dinner. The hurt look on Harry's face had now turned into a frown, and I could literally kill to know what he was thinking about right now.

Was he mad at me? I definitely didn't hope so. I wasn't sure if I could handle that. Him being mad at me, I mean. He meant so much to me, even though he didn't know it himself. Each word he said would affect me. If he told me I was ugly, then I'd think I was. If he told me I was disgusting, I'd think I was indeed disgusting. All this was because I loved him. Unfortunately though, he was the straightest guy on earth, so he would never love me back.

He was worthy of being loved, I had changed my mind. Every human being was worthy of being loved, even the worst ones, and Harry wasn't even one of them. He was quite far from it actually. I knew there was something inside him that was worth loving. Sure, he might seem like a bad guy at school, but outside of it, he was really nice, even to a gay boy like me.

"So, how come Harry's surname is Styles when yours is Cox?" mum asked.

Anne suddenly tensed. "Actually, my name is Anne Twist, not Cox. Robin and I got married two weeks ago," she said.

"Oh, congratulations," mum smiled.

"Thank you," Anne said, returning the smile.

"So?"

Anne took a deep breath. "Eh, Des agreed to let me have the custody of the children if I agreed to let them have his surname. I couldn't do anything but to follow his orders, because I couldn't have him around my children, I just couldn't." She had tears in her eyes when she stopped talking.

Mum gasped. "You've got to be kidding me! How could he, that son of a--"

"Mum!" I cut her off. "What's wrong with the name 'Styles'? So what if Des isn't the nicest person in the world, the name is still great, and wouldn't it be fair if his kids had some kind of connection to their dad?"

I covered my mouth with my hands, blushing like mad. I couldn't believe I actually said that! But I just had to defend Harry. I liked 'Harry Styles' more than 'Harry Twist'. Not to be rude to Robin or anything, but 'Styles' was a bit cooler, and since it actually was Harry's surname, mum couldn't just sit there and practically say that she didn't like the fact that Harry and Gemma's surname was 'Styles'.

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking down at the surface of the table.

"Mum, can I take Louis up to my room?" Harry suddenly asked, standing up.

My heart literally stopped. He wanted to take me up... to his room?! What would he do to me there? Beat the shit out of me for telling our families that I liked the name his douche of a dad had given him?

"Sure, that's... uh, okay, I guess" Anne said, obliviously surprised by my sudden outburst.

Harry started walking towards the stairs, but turned around when he realised I wasn't following him. "You coming?"

I gulped, standing up and finally following him up the stairs. He opened a door on the right as soon as we were up and closed it behind us. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. There was a queen sized bed in the right corner of the room and a big closet in the left. Opposite the bed, there was a big flat screen, and the walls were covered with posters of different boy bands and football players. I could actually say that I'd imagined his room to be like this... well, kind of, at least.

"Why did you defend my surname? I don't get it, you heard what your mum told us. He was a bad guy," Harry wondered.

"H-Harry, you heard what I said. I uh... kind of... like it," I mumbled.

I couldn't believe I actually was in Harry's room. I mean, this had been my dream for... three years? And now when I was finally here, I was stammering like a three year old. Way to go, Louis. Why did I have to be so god damn awkward all the time?

"You like it?" he asked skeptically.

I was so scared that he would scold me for liking his surname. What if he didn't like it himself? However, I decided to nod, a pink blush covering my cheeks.

His face broke into a smile. "I actually do too."

I gasped. "I can't believe you let me go through that! I thought you would kill me or something!"

He laughed at me for about five seconds before it died down.

I frowned at his sudden change of moods, and was about to question him about it when he spoke up, "Earlier when I was interrupted by Robin, I was about to tell you that I'm really sorry for almost saying that I'm embarrassed of you. Lou, you have to know that I'm not, okay?"

My heart raced at the nickname he usually called me, and I shook my head hesitantly. "But Harry, we both know you are. I can read it in your face. Every time your friends are around, you act like a whole other person. You're not mean or anything, but you're just not the one I've got to know," I smiled blankly.

I was about to turn around and go back downstairs when a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. "Please, Lou. I know I'm not myself at school, but that's just because I'm not confident, whatsoever. I wish I was like you, you're the bravest person I know, Louis," he said solemnly.

I literally choked on my own spit. "Me brave? Harry, are you sure you haven't dreamt or something, because I'm probably the most cowardly person in the entire world."

He shook his head, smiling. He sat down on the bed, patting the mattress beside him, a sign for me to sit down there.

I gulped. Was I dreaming? Because this had only happened in my dreams before. Harry was actually asking me to sit beside him, on his bed?! Don't look at me like that...

I sat down on the spot he'd patted, and noticed we were suddenly sitting was so close our thighs were brushing. I swear, I was literally dying inside. My legs tingled, and my heart wouldn't stop pounding. I scooted away from him a little to make a little space between us, because I was sure I wouldn't be able to sit that close to him for too long.

I think Harry took my action the wrong way, because a frown appeared between his eyebrows. "I'm not kidding, Lou, you obviously don't know how much confidence you actually have."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You came out, for example. Do you know how many people there are who want to do the same thing, but are too shy or don't have enough confidence to do so?" he asked, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah, but you're not gay," I reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, but that's just one example. Another is... the party. I assume it crossed your mind that there was a chance that you wouldn't get in, considering... well I think you know what I mean." He bit his lip as if he thought he'd gone too far by saying that, but he hadn't.

Maybe he was right, but I still couldn't think of myself as brave and confident. I just couldn't.

"I still don't think I'm brave or have any confidence though," I mumbled.

Harry placed his hand on my thigh, making me look up at him. Tingles shot up and down my leg all the way to the thigh he was touching, and my heart was beating like crazy in my chest. What this boy did to me, oh my God.

He looked me deep in the eyes as he mumbled, "If only you knew"

I couldn't say anything in thirty seconds because of the look in his eye and the feeling of his hand on my thigh. "B-but I still don't get it" I frowned. "You must be brave. You have like different g-girlfriends every month and you're the school's most p-popular guy, so how can you possibly not be?"

Harry shook his head bitterly. "I have different girlfriends all the time because I'm unsure of everything. I haven't loved anyone in my life, so I just want to find someone to fall for."

I stared at him in utter shock. Was he joking with me? "You haven't been in love?"

He shook his head, sighing. "I wish though. It's scary, you know? It feels like I'm gonna end up alone."

I shook my head. "Harry, I'm sure you're not going to end up alone. It's just... maybe you should go for... I don't know... someone who is looking for a relationship that will last? I'm sure you'll find love then," I smiled encouragingly at him.

He thought for a while. "You're probably right Louis, it's just... I don't know anyone who wants that," he grimaced.

I chuckled. "Maybe you should keep your eyes open."

His lips twitched upwards in a smile and his green eyes sparkled from the lights, making my heart flutter in my chest.

"Maybe I should," he agreed thoughtfully.

It fell silent for a while after that, before he spoke up again. "I may seem like a confident guy who knows what he's doing and always knows what the best thing to do is, but I'm the complete opposite. Every time I say something, I'm afraid that my friends will laugh at me. Don't misunderstand me, they're great, it's just... it feels like everything is about a reputation. If you do this, then you're not cool. If you look like that, then you're an outcast. Sometimes it feels like I don't know where I belong. I just don't feel comfortable going around and being afraid of what I say I might get laughed at. I have considered to change my life to the opposite several times, but if I do I might get bullied, and I don't think I would be able to handle that."

I looked at him in disbelief. He shouldn't have to change, he was amazing...

"Harry, I know for a fact that you won't ever get laughed at. Everybody looks up to you too much for that to happen. They listen to you because they think you're right. It's as if they don't care what you say because they instantly believe you, and therefore you shouldn't be so scared," I said in concern.

He removed the hand he had on my thigh and ran it through his curls instead. "I want to believe you, I really do, but something inside me is scared that it could happen."

"I actually don't know why you're telling me - an outcast - this, but I feel very honored," I smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little.

He laughed. "Well, I know why I'm telling you, and that's because it feels like I can talk to you. You seem like a great listener and I don't think you'll tell anyone about this."

I nodded. He was right. I was a great listener, and it wasn't just because I loved him. I truly cared when people wanted my held or when they didn't feel good, because that was just simply how I was. "Trust me, you don't have to change, Harry. You are amazing, and I mean it. Maybe you'll finally gain confidence when you've found someone to love," I shrugged.

I really did love him, but I couldn't sit here and say that he should date me, because that would just be weird and he would think I was crazy or something, so I had to act as though this with his love life didn't affect me at all.

"Maybe," he smiled.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and a few seconds later my mum's head could be seen through the small gap that had occurred by her opening it. "Boo, we're going now. You coming?"

I nodded. "Just give me a few seconds."

She left as fast as she had appeared and shut the door behind her.

I turned to Harry again who was grinning like an idiot. "What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Boo?"

My cheeks turned a crimson red. Why did he have to snap up that? This was just so embarrassing.

I nodded slowly.

"I like it," he smiled, causing me to blush even harder. "Didn't she call you Boobear before?"

Was it even possible to blush harder than I already did? Apparently... "It's a pet name she gave me when I was a child, and apparently she can't seem to stop calling me by it," I explained.

He chuckled slightly. "Well, seems like I have a new nickname for you then," he winked.

My breath hitched. No way he was going to call me Boo, he just couldn't! "In that case it's only fair that I have a nickname for you... Hazza."

He nodded, laughing. "Sure."

I stood up, and started walking towards the door.

"Hey, Boo?"

I turned around to face him. "Yeah?"

"Can I have your number?" he smiled widely.

I gulped. My number? My number! Was he kidding me?! Why would he want that?! "S-sure," I stuttered.

He handed me his phone and I took it with shaky hands, typing in my number before handing it back to him.

"See you in school tomorrow," he said.

I nodded, finally walking downstairs to join my family in the hall with Harry following behind me.

"Thank you for inviting us, it was... nice," mum said, smiling to every member of the Styles/Twist family.

"Yes it was. I'm so happy we're friends again," Anne agreed.

Mark was holding the sleeping twins in his arms while Fizzy was leaning on mum, her eyes almost closed. Lottie was standing with her phone in her hands, most likely texting someone.

"I guess we'll see each other at work tomorrow," Robin told Mark.

Mark nodded. "Of course."

We turned around to the door, and walked out of the house. "Bye," we called in unison, before the door closed behind us.

As we had slid into the car, my phone buzzed in my back pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the screen.

Sweet dreams Boobear .x

Harry .xx

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OMG, I've hit 1000 reads, it's amazing! I love you guys sooooo much, can't describe how much, seriously. I promise I'll be better at replying comments... ;)

So, this time I actually haven't much to say... I have summer vacation, finally. Will probably update sooner now :)

HARRY'S SONG! *__* OMG

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Pauline .xx