"Boo!"
"AH! Shane, did you hear that?"
"Calm down, it's just the wind."
•••••••

The Umbrella Academy did not have many visitors, Back when the kids would run around in uniforms trying to save the world, there would be people, fans, and paparazzi waiting for the children. But after they disbanded there were fewer and fewer until rarely any person would come to visit the building. There would be a tourist here and there but that was it. And none had ever entered the building, only behind the fences.

That would soon change. For the first time in years, The umbrella Academy was going to open its doors to others.

    It all started with a video.

After Buzzfeed Unsolved released the video about the Umbrella Academy it was like everyone was suddenly remembering it existed. They got calls from every magazine you could imagine and all Phone calls were answered by none other than Alex himself.

At first, it was because he was bored. Klaus was off with his science buddies trying to see if it was possible for someone to smoke eggs and Ben was doing ghostly stuff. (Sneaking into Girl's showers possibly)

(Ben was peacefully reading in his room.)

Alex didn't even know Where Klaus got his science bros. They just appeared one day and Klaus jumped on the opportunity to find out the answer to his most asked question.

Back to the calls, At first, it was because he was bored but then it was fun!

Alex would answer the phone calls very seriously-

("Hello, is this The Umbrella Academy?"

"No this is Patrick!")

-He would kindly tell them that the Members were in mourning-

("Hello-"

"LOL, WEML")

-So he had to kindly decline their generous offer-

("Would-"

"Sorry Karen, but fuck off!")

-And would end the call.

("H-"

"Hi! You reached the We-Don't-Want-Your-Weed's Household, Unfourtenetly we're all smoking crack at the moment so please leave a cocaine. Bye!")

At that point, It had become obvious that whoever was answering the phones wouldn't let anyone say anything before saying something weird and then hanging up, It was quiet rude if you asked the magazines' opinion. But since no one asked, it was okay.

So When Alex got a phone call, he was ready to scare them off with his usual attitude but was instead surprised.

The phone call went like this:

"Dancing Queen-"

"BUZZFEED!"

"...Go on, I'm listening."

"Wow, that actually worked. Hi, I'm Ryan-"

And then Alex agreed to talk business with them.

Pogo blamed himself, cause he should have seen this coming but did nothing to stop Alex from causing his usual chaos.

And that was how Pogo found himself opening the doors to Ryan, Shane, and their crew.

"Good evening gentlemen, I'm Pogo the Buttler. If you could please follow me." He then turned his back and trusted that they would follow him.

The Buzzfeed team was surprised to see a monkey answering the door-

("aliens"

"I swear to god Ryan-")

-But they followed the nice Monkey Buttler, And were lead to the living room. There they met up with Number Four AKA The Seance AKA Klaus Hargreeves.

"Hi!" Klaus waved from where he was sitting on the table like he was meditating. I should also point out that He was once again wearing Allison's skirt and nothing for the top half of his body.

"Hi," Shane said, Their cameras rolling from before Pogo had opened the door, " I'm Shane, This is Ryan."

They all shook hands. Klaus waved at the camera with a grin.

"I'm Klaus!"

Shane and Ryan sat down.

"So Klaus, When I spoke to Mr. Doofenshmirtz --Your manager, but I don't believe that's his real name-- behind the phone, they said that it's best to talk to you about the house. Also, nothing much is known about your powers so could you please elaborate?"

Klaus grinned even wider, "Well my dear ghost believer and non-believer, The answer to your questions are one and one alone."

Ryan and Shane exchanged a look.

Klaus leaned closer to them, "My power is that I can see ghosts!"

Shane looked at him with eyes that said, 'I'm a demon from hell and I don't believe you'.

Ryan got excited, "So if there are any ghosts in this house you can see them?"

"Yeah, sure." Klaus then looked at the empty chair next to his table -because he's still on the table and then snorted but he tried to cover it up with a cough.

"Sorry, my throats a bit dry, I had a screaming match with Luther about Animal Planet-" He saw their confused look, "-nothing to worry about, He's all taken care of. Should be in the zoo by now." He looked at his wrist, where there was no watch, "Yup, He's at the zoo now."

("Are we sure this guy is not a lunatic?" Shane whispered.

"I'm not sure," Ryan whispered back.)

"Okay, what else do you want to know?"

"Have you seen ghosts in this house?"

"Duh!"

"Have you interacted with them?"

"All the time, I have to beg them to leave me alone for 5 minutes."

Ryan opened his mouth to ask something else, But Shane stopped him.

"Jeez, calm down Ryan." Shane laughed.

Ryan blushed, "Sorry, it's just- I'm so excited. We're the first to get a glimpse of the Academy and now I have proof that ghosts really exist and now Shane can't do the usual headshake that he always does."

Klaus laughed, "seeing ghosts isn't always fun, sometimes you have disfigured bodies hunting you and just following you around," He saw The Boy's ᵀᴹ expression, "But don't worry, I can control it now. Kinda, I used to use drugs to stop seeing them but then stuff happened and now I'm clean!"

"Huh,"

Klaus clapped his hands, "Okay so do we go investigate now?"

Ryan blinked, "You wanna join us?"

"Sure, It's gonna be fun and I can be your weird noisy thing."

Shane squinted, "You mean the spirit box?"

Klaus waved his hand, "Whatever, Let's go."

Ryan looked at the camera, "I guess we begin now."

When Alex had talked to Ryan, he knew that he had to be there for the entirety of their adventure. It was going to be so much fun to mess with the ghoul hunters.

He had been with them when they stood outside the academy-

("I can't believe that we're actually going in there!"

"I know Ryan."

"Can you believe it?!"

"No Ryan."

"I can't!"

"I know Ryan.")

-Alex knew how excited they both were, and made it his mission to spook Shane out.

And now he was watching The Ghoul Bois ᵀᴹ put on their cameras and they also gave Klaus his own Camera. How nice of them!

"Klaus ask why we can't walk around with the lights on."

Klaus repeated the question.

Ryan and Shane exchanged a look, "It might scare them off?"

Klaus and Alex accepted it. The light was pretty scary to be honest, Alex knew that Ben sometimes screamed when they would turn on the lights-

("You screamed!"

"Well duh! You jumped from behind the bed with a fucking chainsaw Alex!")

-But don't tell Ben that you heard that from Alex.

The cameraman decided to stay with Pogo and have some tea, and the four --only three visible-- were set loose one the Academy.

"Where do you recommend that we start?" Shane looked at Klaus for guidance.

"The bedrooms probably, We all have personal items there and you might find something in Alex's or Ben's room."

Alex walked beside Ryan, "Do you think that I can speak through the Ghost box thingy?"

The question was directed at Klaus. He shrugged.

Alex blow on Ryan's face and Ryan jumped and went to Shane's side.

"Something just blew on my face!"

Shane defused the situation, "Relax it was only the wind."

"There's no wind!"

Klaus continued to walk and started whistling the tune from American Horror Story.

Shane and Ryan hurried to join him and started walking behind him.

"Allison and Luther are out, probably at the zoo," Klaus began talking out of nowhere, "Diego is out stabbing people," The Ghoul Bois ᵀᴹ looked at each other, "Five is on a date with Dolores-" Ryan opened his mouth but Klaus was on a roll, "- Vanya had a concert thingy and the ghost bois ᵀᴹ should be around here."

That caught Ryan's attention, "ghost boys- do you mean Ben and Alex?"

Klaus sighed lovingly, "mhm."

Shane suddenly paused, "Klaus..." number four looked at him, "are there any ghosts here with us? Right now?"

Shane and Ryan looked at Klaus with wide eyes and it got wider when The Seance shot them a mischievous smile, "Nope!"

-what?

"KLAUS HOW DARE YOU?" Alex fake cried, "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

He wasn't actually lying, Alex was in fact, very much alive.

Klaus snickered, "hehe."

(ᴏᴍɢ ɢᴜʏs ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ᴀᴍ ɪ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ -ʏᴀ ɢɪʀʟ)

Klaus stopped at Alex's room, "this be Alex's room." He opened the door and showed them a messy room, "let's do the noisy thingy machiney."

"Spirit box."

"Whatever." Klaus waved him off, "let's do a seance!"

Alex laughed, "You're called The Seance and you've never done a proper seance in your entire life!"

Ryan took out the the spirit box, "If anyone is here, I'm Ryan, this is Shane, and that is Klaus. You can use this device to talk to us. I'm going to turn it on now."

He turned it on and the horrible noise began.

Alex grimaced, "okay let's try this."

He cleared his throat, "Taco!"

The spirit box worked and the ghoul boys ᵀᴹ looked at it.

"...taco?"

Alex grinned, "Dildo!"

Shane wheezed.

"Hello?" Ryan tried to communicate.

"Hello Ryan Bergara," Alex smirked.

There was one moment of silence, "How- how did you know my last name?"

"I know everything," Alex said as he looked at Ryan's Wikipedia page on his phone.

Klaus looked over his shoulder. Awww Ryan was so small!

Shane looked around, "Hey Ghostie, what's your name?"

"Emm...my name's Jeff." Alex panicked. Jeff?!

The giant Ghoul boi ᵀᴹ looked at the seance, "Is this guy serious?"

"No, he's Jeff." Klaus smiled innocently.

"Jeff..." Ryan started hesitatingly, "How did you die?"

"I didn't."

"What?"

"Cheeseburger."

Shane blinked, "What?"

(Yes Shane blinked, even demons need to blink every now and then)

"Order me some cheeseburger then we can talk."

Klaus laughed, "Oh my god I'm loving this."

"Wink wink"

Shane looked at Ryan, "Did this ghost just say wink wink?"

Ryan looked back with dead eyes, "I have no idea what the fuck is going on."

Shane stared at him. He stared back. They both looked at Klaus at the same time.

Klaus stopped admiring his beautiful lover when he felt eyes on him. He turned and looked at the ghoul boys ᵀᴹ, "What?"

They just stared.

And that moment, Alex appeared out of nowhere.

"Boo!"

"AHHHHH"

𓅷
ʜɪᴘᴘɪᴛʏ ᴘᴏᴘᴘɪᴛʏ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ғᴜᴄᴋᴇᴛʏ

The boys went back to the living room and sat down for about 15 minutes without saying anything. Klaus was hugging a teddy bear and dancing around the room while he hummed a tune.

Shane was scrolling through Twitter and would snort every now and then.

Ryan, poor Ryan, had his head resting on his hands while he tried to make sense of what the fuck just happened.

Alex was lying on the table with his head hanging off of it. So he was seeing everything upside down.

Pogo had taken the cameraman to the kitchen and they were probably having tea and cheesecake with grace.

"Cheesecake."

Klaus didn't stop his dance, "What of it?"

"I want."

Shane looked up for a second, "I thought you wanted cheeseburger."

"No," Alex lifted himself up so he was facing Shane, "then I wanted cheeseburger but now I want cheesecake."

"What's with the cheese?"

"Maybe I'm pregnant."

"How can you be pregnant?"

"I had unprotected sex?"

"Eh."

Everyone went back to what they were doing.

Beside Ryan.

"How the fuck are you calm?" He asked Shane.

Shane shrugged, "He wasn't a ghost so it's okay."

Ryan looked at the previous ghost.

"I'm alive!" Alex smiled.

Ryan groaned.

★彡Words: 2426★彡

Guys. I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
Don't be scared, it's okay.

This chapter is just a huge mess I don't even want to publish it (if your reading this then I've published it. Shame on me and on @proshsn for saying I should.

I wanted to say a few things.

First of all, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!      🏳️‍🌈💕

Second; I don't live in the US, but I wanted to say this.

We're living in 2020. We have brains and we're supposed to use them. Someone having black skin does not make them less of a person than one with white skin. We're all humans, we all have the right to be alive, and most importantly we all have the right to live. Those are two different things.
Being alive and living.
Everyone has the right to be alive yes, but also have the right to live freely. Without the fear of being killed, murdered by those sworn to protect them or those around them.

It's stupid that we still have to talk about this issue in this century. You would have thought that people knew better than to act like cavemen.

Also about the people who say all lives matter.
I said it myself at first and I didn't mean just black and white, I meant every fucking human being. But it has come to my attention that saying that right now is wrong.

Why? Let me explain.

If there is a house on fire, with people inside, who's house matters the most?
Yours or the one on fire?

If there's someone who needs emergency surgery and someone who has a fever, who do you focus on as a nurse/doctor?

Yes, all lives matter but right now black lives are in danger. So we have to focus on them.

That being said let's go to the other thing I wanted to say.

I made Alex a Twitter.
Yes, he has it and he tweets bs.

If you want to, you can follow him.
He sometimes posts facts and spoilers.
👀
You can find the link in my bio.

Okay, that's it.
Stay safe, love yourself, and fuck anyone who ho says otherwise.

Love y'all
💙💛🧡❤️💜🤍🤎