"Good Morning Sweetheart." I felt someone kissing my cheek and even before I opened my eyes.
"Morning Ames." I mumbled as I nuzzled closer to her.
"You need to get up darling. As much as I live cuddling you need to go to school."
"Do I really have to? It's so nice and warm. And I hate school." I said into her neck.
"Yep. And while you get ready I'll fix us some breakfast" She got up and I followed behind.
"I'll be downstairs." I got some jeans and an sweater. I went to the bathroom, got dressed and pulled my hair back into a ponytail.
Going downstairs would mean that I have to eat.
"Lil come on now. You're breakfast is ready." Amy came to the bathroom.
I sighed and opened the door. "Baby I know you don't want to eat but you need to and you're so pretty I wish you could see what I see." She kissed my forehead and put one of my hair stands behind my ear.
"Come on darling." She grabbed my hand and dragged me by my hand downstairs towards the kitchen.
"I've got some cereals for you. And fruit salad." She put the food in front of me and took her bowls. The ones for the boys were still on the counter where they could just grab it themselves.
I slowly took a bite of the fruit salad figuring that this would be less calories than the cereals.
It only took a around six bites before I started feeling full. And it was only about two thirds of the whole fruit salad. And I still had the cereal sitting in front of me.
Nick and Christian came in. "Good morning." Amy smiled at them while I gave them a small smile before focusing back on the task laying ahead of me. Eating.
"Morning Lil. Since when are you up this early. It's the second day in a row." Nick smiled at me and petted my head.
"I made breakfast for you guys. It's over there." Amy showed them and both of them smiled. "Thanks Ames." Christian said while getting one of the portions and handing another to Nick. Leaving one on the counter for Joey.
They both started eating in silence.
I struggled really bad I had finished half of my breakfast only the fruit salad and I couldn't imagine eating more. My stomach hurt and I felt like was gaining more weight.
My hands started shaking as I tried to fight the anxious feeling rising in my chest.
"Lil is everything alright?" Nick looked over to me. "You're shaking. Are you cold or felling sick?" Eventhough I felt anxious I smiled a bit at this. Always the overprotective older brother.
I took a deep breath and calmed myself down.
"No Nick I am alright. Just nervous." Amy looked at me smiling sadly. She was the only one that really knew what was going on.
My brother smiled. "Just calm down." I nodded and took a bite of the cereals.
Joey came in and immediately got himself the last plate."Thanks for breakfast and good morning." He plopped down on the chair next to me and started eating quickly.
While he and my other siblings ate everything they had and I only finished a third of my cereals.
Mom came in. "Guys I am sorry we must really go. Otherwise you'll be late for school." She grabbed her things and we quickly complied following her to the car. Of course I hugged Amy before walking outside.
"Lil." I turned around. Lisa stood at the bottom of the stair.
She hugged me and caressed my cheek for a second. "I love you baby. You're so beautiful and I hope you have an amazing day at school. I'll come and get you afterwards." "I love you too Lise." I whispered in her neck.
"Lillian come on. We don't want to be late." Lisa let me go and I quickly got into the car. Feeling slightly better than before. Lisa held her promise of telling me how beautiful I am everyday and I was so grateful for that.
When we got to school and I walked to my friends I could already hear some of the other kids snicker about my appearance.
Lucy and Kaykay walked up to me as all three of us had the next lesson together.
Politics. One of the more relaxed subjects I had. Only a small group. Nice people no Victoria.
"Good morning Class. We're talking about the situation of the state today.  Turn your books to page 113. Read the text and do the task 1-3). Afterwards we will discuss the topic in class." Mrs. Rogers came in and immediately started the lesson.
I smiled and started working. I always enjoyed politic lessons.
The text was about the difference in wages and social inequality. And the tasks were basically to summarize the text and write out the main points. Analyze the writing style and in task three write a discussion and stating your own opinion. It only took me about 35 minutes while a lot of the other students were still writing so I figured that I could just start reading other texts about this topics that were given in the school book.
"So we how far are you? I think we should start the discussion now." Mrs. Rogers.
Immediately Lucy and Kayla started to discuss with both the teacher and the other students. I just sat there on silence and listened to the other students talking. That's what I'm best it. Silently listing and observing. I never was good at talking myself.
"Alright class is almost over. I think we should stop the discussion here. Please read the next text on the topic in your book."
I quickly noted the homework before packing my stuff and walking out of the door together with Kayla and Lucy.
"I love politics. It's the best subject I have." Lucy exclaimed while walking next to us.
At the other end of the hall I could see Nick with his friends. I didn't usually see them at school as most of the classes for my year are in the west part of the building and the classes for the older students in the parts of the building. Politics, sports and science where the only subjects with shared classrooms.
"Hey freak. Where are you going?" I felt a hand grabing me. As I turned around I saw Victoria. Apparently she had classes around here to.
"Are you mute, deaf or just to stupid for your own good?" Her friends laughed along while holding Kayla and Lucy.
"Class" I finally said. It was almost as quiet as a whisper. "Look the fatass is afraid of us." The group laughed even more. She pushed me against the locker. Out of the corner I saw Nick looking over here and saying something to his friends. One nodded and walked away.
"Why are you still here? Why don't you just kill yourself? You're useless. Worthless. Talentless. Ugly. Fat. I mean not even your own sisters want you in their band." She slapped me in the face.
I could see Nick jogging towards and his friend who came back pointing out what was going on to Christian. Great now both of my brother's knew how pathetic I was.
Victoria raised her arm again as if she wanted to slap me. But Nick was faster he grabbed her wrist and pulled her away.
"Stop hurting my sister." By now Christian had arrived and the other bullies set Kayla and Lucy free.
Christian pulled me close examining my face. "Lil. Does hurt bad? I promise you that you're safe now. Don't be afraid Nick and I are here to protect you." He positioned himself between me and Victoria.
She looked intimated but apparently she didn't want to back down. "I'm so sorry that you're related to this thing. You would be better of with it that." Both of them inhaled sharply but before they could do something stupid a teacher and one of Nick's friends walked up.
"What's going on here?"
"She" Nick pointed at Victoria "bullied our sister. She slapped her in the face."
The teacher sighed and asked all of us to come to the principals office with him.
While walking Christian held me close to him, maybe to make sure that I don't run and maybe to calm himself down.
Gathered in the principals office we waited while the teachers talk.
"Alright I'll now talk to you and Mr. Parker calls your parents."
"Sir. Maybe you should call one of our sisters instead of our parents they are pretty busy." The principal nodded and told Mr. Parker what Nick had told him.
Over the course of the next twenty minutes all of the others told what happened. But I stayed mute. I couldn't talk.
It was scary and I just wanted to get home. I could feel that the others were annoyed with me but then there was a knock on the door.
"Mr. Jameston the parents are here." He nodded and a tall, blonde women walked in. She immediately demanded to kick everyone except Victoria out.
Lisa walked in behind her. She smiled shortly and pulled me into hug.
She kept her promise to get me. She really was her. I smiled and curled up in her arm.
"Lil you're alright?" I nodded but clung to her.
"She doesn't answer our questions." The principal said to Lisa.
"Honey I know this is scary but I need you to tell me what happened." While she said that she played with my hair.
"I was just walking.... From politics class... when she stopped me. At first she only said mean things... but than she got physical." I talked very quiet but the principal understood everything.
"You're doing great Lil. Just one more question. When did this start?"
Tears welled up in my eyes. My siblings weren't supposed to know how pathetic I am.
"Since I first came into this school." I sobbed while saying this.
"Sir I know you might have more questions but I need to bring her home now." She said looking at the teacher.
He nodded and before I could try to stand up Nick had already picked me up and started carrying me outside to Lisa's car.
The car ride was silent I sat in the back and was crying.
I guess the others were thinking about how they didn't notice this. Especially since it went on for three years.
As soon as we pulled in Lauren and Amy came out. Our other siblings, except Joey who was still at school and Dani, came out behind them.
I didn't want to go talk to them. They would ask me more questions. And I really didn't feel like answering them anymore.
But Lisa opened my door. I kept my head down, I didn't want to look at their faces. They would pity me and that's something I didn't want to see.
"Lilli." Amy pulled me into her arms and eventhough I didn't want to I snuggled closer to her and hid my face in her neck.
I could feel her grip around me tighten as the others came closer.
It seemed like she didn't want to share me with the others.
But eventually she let go and I was pulled into hug by Lauren. Before anyone said anything each one of them hugged me.
"Let's get you inside, make same tea and talk." Katherine suggested and leaded us inside.
I was sat down on the couch. Amy right next to me and Lauren stood in the archway just like two days ago. Probably to make sure that I wouldn't leave.
The boys ,except for Alex, sat down on the other couch and looked over at us.
Lisa on one of the armchairs. Kath, Chris and Alex were in the kitchen making tea.
"There you go. Have some tea." Alex put down some mugs with tea. Before sitting himself down on the couch next to the other boys.
Chris and Kath walked in with the remaining mugs.
Chris handed me one before sitting herself down. All of them looked at me. Expecting me to say something.
"Lillian you need to tell us what happened." Michael looked at me well they all looked at me.
I felt so scared that my hands started to shake. I couldn't tell them what happened. They would judge me. They would know how pathetic I am. They would hate me.
My breath started to hitch and I couldn't really breath anymore.
"Lil. You need to calm down. Take a deep breath. Everything will be alright." Amy tried calming me down. Tried is the right word for that, as it didn't help me. I freaked out even more.
Lauren got in front of me. "Lillian. Match my breath." She took my hand and put it on her chest. I tried to match her exaggerated breathing. "You're doing great Lil. You'll be alright." It took me quite a while but I managed to calm myself down.
Lauren let go of my hand and got up. Amy pulled me into a hug and held me close.
"Lillian. We need to know what's going on to help you. Please talk to us." Kath tried. Her voice was much calmer than Christina's and I really tried to stay calm this time.
"When did this start?" Mike asked.
"The first week I started school." "Three years ago?" Kath looked schocked. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Don't know." I mumbled. I looked at the floor. I couldn't possibly look them in the eyes and see their worry.
"What did she do to you?" Lisa tried to stay calm.
"Umm. At first she only said mean things but after like four or five months she started to get physical." I talked to so quiet that at first I wasn't even sure if they could hear me.
"Oh my god." I looked up to see Kath, Lauren and Amy tearing up, while the boys, Christina and Lisa looked infuriated.
Christina got up and sat down in front of me.
"Lillian we will figure everything out. I promise you that you will never see any of these girls again. Don't worry about that we'll make sure you never have to be scared of them again.'
The others nodded and Amy pulled me even closer to her.
"I have a question. Since when do you have panic attacks?" Alex looked really worried.
I looked to Lisa and Amy for help as I didn't really want to talk.
"Well" Lisa took a deep breath "We found out about the panic attacks two days ago. And we also found out about Lil having an eating disorder. We started working on it, but I think you should know."
My brothers looked shocked. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Christian had tears in his eyes. "You're my baby sister and I love you. Why didn't you come to one of us we could have helped you." He walked to me and hugged me.
After he let go I yawned. Lauren sat down next to me and pulled me onto her lap.
"I think you should sleep a bit darling" She whispered in my ear and stroked my hair.
Amy sang some kind of tune making me even more sleepy.
It didn't take long for me to fall asleep against my sisters body.
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