I gulped. Not knowing what I was supposed to answer.
Taking another sip on the mug I tried to think of something really quick.
"Nothing really important." I mumbled in the mug. "I just had a fight with some friends and stressed over school work, especially geometry I really want to get an A in the class but I am to stupid to solve the easiest problem. Sorry I freaked out. I just couldn't handle the stress."
Well this wasn't a complete lie. I wanted to ace the geometry class and I was to stupid to do it correctly. And I had had a fight with a friend at some point. Her name was Paris. We were really good friends before she started hanging out with Victoria. Now she bullies me on a daily basis.
"Sweety your not to stupid to solve it. I am sure you can do it. If you want I can help you." Amy said.
And once again the word sweety made me stiff. Just breathe, breathe everything is fine. Your home, your not there. He is not here.
Dani next to me stood up. "Well we talked about what the problem is. Can I go now. Maybe I can at least go to dinner with my friends after I already missed out on the movie." Christina nodded and Dani left the room.
The place next to me was now empty and apparently Lauren didn't feel the need to stand in the archway anymore. She walked towards the couch and sat next to me.
"Can I hug you?" I looked at her. Why the hell would she want to hug me? She should go and hug Amy, she cried and she is so much more important than I am.
But it was nice that she at least asked me. Maybe she was scared that I would have another panic attack when she would hug me without consent.
I nodded slowly and within a matter of seconds I felt a strong pair of arms wrapped around me. Lauren pulled me closer to her and made me sit on her lap.
"I love you so much my sweet baby girl." She mumbled while playing with my hair. I was tired from the running, crying and the bullying, but I didn't want to fall asleep.
Sleep is not really my priority at the moment. I have to get my school things done, help around the house and practise. Another thing with sleep and me is that everytime I close my eyes I am back there.
Back in the classroom. Back with him.
So getting tired and falling asleep her was not an option.
I straightened my back, shifted my weight and looked around the room. Christina and Kath were not here anymore, but I could here them talk in distance. They probably started to prepare dinner.
Which you will not eat.
Amy still sat in the armchair she was cuddled up in a blanket and ate a cookie while she looked over at Lauren and me. She smiled when she saw that I was looking at her.
I smiled back at her.
Suddenly I felt to hands pull me back. I now sat in Laurens lap my head on her shoulder and her arms around my waist.
Lisa had sat down next to us. "Don't fight the sleep honey."
"I am not tired." I tried to argue.
Lauren giggled. "Well the dark circels under your eyes and your sleepiness prove otherwise." Lisa stated.
I felt Lauren pulling me closer towards her.
"It's okay sweetheart. Just close your eyes for a bit. I promise when you wake up you'll feel better and can probably concentrate on your math work." She whispered in my hair while she wrapped some of my hair strands around her fingers and played with it.
Even though I didn't want it to work I got tired. I heard Lauren singing something while she played with my hair and stroke my back.
It's not really fair that my sisters know how to make me sleepy.

**Amy PoV**

I watched as Lillians breath evened out. Lauren was still playing with her hair.
My sweet baby sister. What happend to her. I don't think that she got herself so worked up about homework and a fight.
I looked over to Lisa. "I don't think she told us everything." I nodded and Lauren agreed.
Tears formed in my eyes. "Why doesn't she talk to me. She knows I am always there for her. She is my birthday twin." Lisa got up from her seat next to Lauren and embraced me in a hug.
"It's gonna be okay. She will talk to you. If she will tell one of us what's going on then it will be either you or Lolo. She trusts you the most." Lisa said while putting some hair strands out of my face. With her thumb she stroke away my tears and smiled at me. "Your right Lise." I nodded.
We looked over to where our Baby sisters where sitting. Lauren was still caressing Lillian, who was fast asleep.
"It's good she is asleep. She looked she hadn't slept properly in days." Lauren said. I agreed with her. Even with the concealer she used the dark circels were still noticeable.
Kath entered the room. "Hey is pizza for dinner okay? Mom called the doctor couldn't find anything and told them to go to the hospital. So they will be home late and grab something on the way. And Nick texted me he will sleep at a friends house. They have a game tomorrow and have to be at school really early."
"Pizza is great." Lisa said with her wide goofy smile.
"Great I'll get Chris so we can order some. Is Lil asleep?" Lauren nodded. "Maybe you should bring her upstairs so she can sleep."
"Naww I am comfortable. And I like holding her. She never lets me cuddle with her." Lauren explained while looking at our baby sister. "I am worried about her. I have the feeling that something really bad is going on. What if she makes stupid decisions? Like hurting herself instead of coming to us or worse." She looked up and tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Laur it's gonna be okay. She is smart and I think we did a good job implanting that hurting yourself is not good and that she should come and talk to us." Kath tried to calm her down. She nodded but she didn't seem convinced.
Chrissy entered the living room. "Well are we going to order pizza or not?" Kath nodded, got up and phoned the pizza place. She went out to the hallway so she wouldn't wake up Lilly while talking to them.
Lisa was sitting on the arm of my arm chair and had one of her arms around my shoulder.
Chrissy sat down next to Lauren and looked at the sleeping teen.
"It's good that she finally sleeps. We should bring her upstairs and wake her for dinner." Lauren shook her head.
"I want to hold her. Everytime I want to cuddle or hug she flinches away like I am going to hurt her. It's nice to hold her. Amees do you remember when she was like seven, she was scared of thunderstorms and she would hide in one of our beds until it was over." I smiled at the memory. "Yeah or when the ten year old Lillian found out about your boyfriend cheating on you and she wanted to kill him." "It was adorable." I laughed. Lisa and Chrissy smiled. "Well I remember one time when you two took five year old Lillian to get ice cream and after you got back we had dinner. The night after she threw up because she had eaten to much and you two freaked out and cried, you thought you made her sick."
Chrissy and Lisa laughed at the memory, while Lauren and I blushed.
"Yeah I remember that too. Both of them cried more than Lil who was the sick one. She tried to calm them down instead of them calming her down." Lisa added laughing.
"Well that was because we love her so much." Lauren mumbled grinning.
"Pizza is on its way."
Kath sat down one of the other armchairs.
"What is so funny?" She gave us a questioningly look. "We're thinking about the old times. With little baby Lillian." Kath smiled."Remember when she started Ice Skating because Lise took her to the rink one time. She was obsessed with it." "Well she still is." Lisa pointed out. We all laughed a bit about this.
We tried to talk quiet but soon enough the door rang and Kath, Chrissy and Lisa got up to get our food.
"Lil. Dinner is ready. You need to wake up." Lauren said while shaking her a bit. Lillian stirred a bit in her arms. Lauren looked at me. "I feel bad for waking her up." "Well she has to eat and I guess there is also homework left to do." I smiled.
Lillian sat up and looked around with sleepy eyes.
"How long did I sleep?"
"About 45mins Honey" Lisa answered from the door. The three of them got in and put the pizzas on the table.
"Dinners served"

**Lillian PoV**
"Dinners served"
Pizza for dinner. I can't eat this. I will get even fatter than I already am. More people will make fun of me. My family will hate me. What am I going to do. I can't eat this. I can't.
But if I don't eat they will realize something is up and ask me about it. My thoughts were racing at 150mph when a solution came to my mind.
I could eat this and just throw it up afterwards.
This way I wouldn't get fat and my sisters won't worry. Happy that I found a good solution I smiled and took a piece of pizza.
While we were eating we talked about random stuff they told me about the band and some new songs they were planning on releasing.
After I finished I got up to finish my homework, what I didn't know is that Lisa and Amy both followed me upstairs.
"So show me this geometry problem." Lisa said. I jumped and put a hand over my heart. "Lisa you almost gave me a heart attack." I said quietly.
She just laughed, sat down next to me and looked at geometry. Within minutes she started to explain the way it's supposed to work and I was finally able to finish my work. Lisa got up and walked downstairs while Amy stayed with me. "You know you don't have to stay here and watch me do my homework right?" I asked.
She nodded and smiled. "Well I just want to spend a little time with my baby sister." I smiled. But why the hell did she care? Amy was so amazing she should spend her time with people as amazing as her. Not with some fucked up, fat, ugly, worthless, talentless, screw up.
"I love you so much baby girl." She said and looked me in the eyes. "Please don't ever forget how much I love and care about you."
"I love you too Amees." I looked at my birthday twin and out of a reflex I cuddled myself in her arms.
"Don't you have homework to do? Not that I mind. I love cuddling with you but I don't want you not to finish your homework cause of me." "I finished everything except german and art but those I can do tomorrow." "What is your Art homework?" "We had to paint our family and I am not completely done with it." "Show me I can help you." Amy demanded. I nodded and got my drawing out of my back.
"You are so talented at drawing baby girl. So we have mom and dad in the middle, then there the boys playing sports and here the girls singing, because of the band. Right? But where are you?" Amy looked at me.
"Yeah this was the thing I was going for. And as I said I couldn't finish it so I am not on the picture yet." I lied.
I mean I can't tell her I don't know my place in this family.
"What do you mean by you don't know your place?"
Shit, did I say that loud.
"Yeah you did. And language sweetheart." She said.
"Well I don't know where I have to put myself. I don't belong to the boys for obvious reasons, but I also don't belong to you guys because I am not a part of the band. I am in between both sides."
"Sweetheart. I am sorry you feel this way. But I think you should put yourself right in the middle."
I looked at her.
"You said you are between both sides. Don't decide on one. Just take both of them." She smiled at me.
"Thanks Amy your the best."
"I know and I think you should finish this up and get ready for bed."
She got up kissed my on my forehead and smiled at me.
"Sleep well sweety."
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