"Kids get up. School doesn't wait for you." Mom yelled from downstairs. I sigh and cuddled myself deeper into my blankets. It's so warm and comfy and I definitely didn't want to get up just to go to school.
I mean school is awful. You have to learn stupid things, you'll never need in your entire life, you have to concentrate the whole day and then you even have to work at home.
Me, Joey, Nick and Christian are the only ones that have to go to school. Mom used to homeschool all of us, but when the band of my sister's developed in something so big and she helped them out so much, we all decided it's better to finish our education in a normal school.
With a sigh I got up and walked towards the closet, where I picked out a jeans and a long sleeved shirt, before heading of to the bathroom.
I brushed my teeth and my hair, put a little makeup on, just enough to conceal the dark circels under my eyes.
I got dressed and looked in the mirror.
You're still fat.
I sigh once again and blinked the tears, which are forming in my eyes away. Someone knocked on the door. "I need to use the bathroom. Hurry up." I nod before i realized that the person won't be able to see me through the closed door.
So I just went and opened it. " I just need to do my hair. Give me three minutes." Amy standing outside noded and leant herself against the wall next to the bathroom. I got back inside and start braiding my hair in a fish tail braid. As soon as I am done I left the bathroom and Amy went inside. I hear her starting to take a shower as I am walking towards the room I share with my sisters Lisa, Lauren and Dani.
I sat down on my bed, which is the lower one of the bunk bed I share with Lisa, and start listening to music it my phone until someone snatched at from my hand. Luckily I was wearing Bluetooth headphones otherwise this would have hurt. "Come on, Mom already shouted three times that you have to go." Dani seemed pissed. "Sorry." I mumbled, got up and left the room.
Downstairs mom and the boys were waiting for me. "Where have you been. We were waiting for you? No come on hurry up and put your shoes on. We are going to the car already." I just nodded and git myself ready to leave the house.
In the car I started to listen to music and looked out of the window. Being completely lost in my own thoughts I once again didn't realized that we were there.
"Lil. We're there I want to get out." Nick said right next to me opend the door and started to push me to go out. "You just want to see that girl again don't you?" Christian said laughing. While I unbuckled my seatbelt and left the car. "Bye mom." I whispered and with just a few more steps I am in hell.
I am in my second year of high school and my grades are pretty good. I get mostly A's and a few B's so that's great, it's just that me and my friends are kind of the outcasts of the school and people tend to ignore us.
Well ignoring would be the nicest thing they do to us.
As I walked to my locker I can already see Kayla and Lucy standing there. Those two girls are my best friends. Kayla has short brown hair, she very active in politics and has an opinion on everything and everyone. Almost a year ago, she decided to get rid of social standards that girls must have beautiful long locks so she shaved her head almost bald.
Lucy on the other hand has beautiful long blond hair. It almost reaches her hips she wears it open most of the time. And she barefoot like almost ever. I never meet her parents but I think they are in some kind of hippie movement. Lucy told us that for example they use toothpaste tabs and bamboo toothbrushes and that they are part of the noshampoo movement, which means they let only water in their hair to wash it. In the beginning we didn't believe it because her hair never really looks greasy, but we learned why it's that way.
"Hey" Kayla said and smiled at me. Lucy almost tackled me with a hug, before I could respond to Kayla.
I smiled at her and then turned my attention to the locker where I got my books out.
"What do you have first?" Kayla asked. "Math." Lucy answered. "German Class" I said quietly. "I have Spanish. Why the hell did you take German? I mean it's not a really big language. It's only spoken in like what  3 countries?" Kayla looked at me. And I could almost see the question marks in her eyes. "I had it when I was home schooled so I already knew the basics." I answered so quiet that it was almost whispering.
The bell rang. With a last smile at my friends I headed of to my German class. This class was very small only four students took it with me.
And sadly three of them are the girls that hate me and make my life miserable.
As soon as I was in the room I sat down on my chair in the second row near the window. The teacher was already there and so was Jeremy the fourth person who took this class. He was actually really cute. We have a lot of classes together so we changed phone numbers and sometimes help eachother with or work but that's it.
Right now he sits in the Chair in front of me and turns around to smile at me. "Hey Lillian." He said and I just have to smile. His smile is so contagious. "Hey." I mumbled under my breath. "Class let's start." Ms. Gold said while clapping in her hands.
The next 90 minutes I just focus on my work and my German knowledge. Three minutes before the class would have officially ended the teacher smiled. "Okay we're done for today. Pack your things." All of us started to pack up, stupid as I am I started to walk out of the room and then continued down the hall.
"Hey. Wait. We want to talk to you" I heard the voice of the queen bee Victoria behind me. I just pretend that I didn't hear them and continued. When I almost reached the girls bathroom I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. "Didn't you hear us." Victoria snapped as she turned me around. "I am sorry." I whispered once again. She just smirked. "I understand why her sisters didn't want her in the band. I mean look at her. She's fat. Ugly. Talentless. Did you hear me now? You're a talentles piece of crap." With that she punched me in the stomach. I stumbled backwards until I reached the wall. Paris, one of her friends slapped me across the face and the other one Monica kicked me in the stomach. I sank to the floor and the girls just continued harassing me. After an eternity, which actually was just 5 minutes, they stopped and walked away.
I stayed still for a few moments before I got back up and walked toward my next class.
While sitting in geometry, I was in pain. My stomach and my back hurt. I felt dizzy and I just wanted to go home. Luckily for me after geometry I have only lunch and then art left. So I can possibly survive the day without being killed in one of our school halls. During lunch I was always outside while the mean girls were inside and art was one of the few classes I had with Kayla so it was always fun. I just had to survive this class and the walk through the hall to the bench where Kayla and Lucy would be waiting for me.
The bell rang and I immediately started packing and almost stormed off into the hall. Almost nobody was so fast, so I came almost until the park before the hussle started.
I got into the park and almost collided with Lucy when she throw herself onto the bench. Kayla came a few minutes later and while discussing, which one of the mean bees should be send to moon or how we possibly could survive the geography test in two days the lunch went by quickly. And as the bell rang I felt a little better. The pain had faded a little and talking to my friends also helped to lighten my mood a bit. While we were walking to Art class. Kayla told me something about a new group of activists in the city and that she really wants to join them, but some of their activities are illegal so she wasn't allowed.
When we said down in class she was still talking and Mister Rogers had to tell her to calm down. This had both of us giggling. "Class I want you to do draw your family and your emotions towards them." Everyone started drawing while I stared at my paper. I had a big family for sure, parents and elven siblings me being the second youngest ten older ones. But my emotions towards them I don't know. We don't really talk.
I sighed and started to focus I started to paint my mother and father in the middle of the picture then on their left my brothers with footballs in their hands and in their right my sisters with microphones in their hands.
When I looked back at the picture I realized that I didn't know where to put myself. I didn't belong to the boys, but I definitely didn't belong to my sisters either.
Mr. Rogers saw my struggling and came to look at my picture. "So this your family I nodded." "Yeah Mom, Dad, Michael, Christina, Katherine, Lisa, Amy, Alex, Lauren, Dani, Christian, Nick and my younger brother Joey." I said quite surprised that I spoke so much. "So where are you in this drawing?" "I don't know yet. I am figuring it out." I mumbled again. Great my shyness is back.
He looked at me and nodded.
When the class ended forty minutes later I still didn't figure out my place so I just didn't put myself on the picture. Together with Kayla I walked down the hall and left the building.
"KayKay. Is the bruise in my face very visible?" "No Lucy did a good job with the makeup during lunch." I nodded and hugged her for a goodbye.
I walked towards the parking lot. I didn't see my brothers and also didn't see moms car, which surprised me. Usually she is the one who gets us. As I was about to pull my phone out I saw Lisa driving like she went crazy towards me. As soon as she stopped. I climbed in on the front passenger seat. "Where are the boys?" "Mom had to get Joey earlier he is sick. And because Christian wasn't feeling well this morning he went home to and Nick has football club." She explained while starting to drive. I buckled my seatbelt and looked out of the window. It was quiet none of us in the mood to talk. "Soooo how was your day?" Lisa finally said. "It was good. What about yours?" I said quietly while looking at my fingers. Lisa glanced at me with a worried expression. "You're okay Lil?" I simply nodded and looked at her. She understood that I wanted to know about her day. " Well first the girls and I decided on the next song we want to cover and started to arrange the harmonies, then we discussed some new ideas for merch and the promo of the new song. And right before I went to get you I had lunch was Amy. We made Chicken Tacos." She said and smiled. The way she talked, kinda hurt me. 'The Girls and I' seems like I don't count as a girl in this family. I smiled to hide sadness and looked at the passing cars.
"Come on get out we're there." Lisa said.
I once again unbuckled my seatbelt and walked the few steps into our house and sadly I had the same feeling as this morning, when I entered school. Seems like hell is following me.
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