I should be celebrating Robbies 2x platinum success on his song but here I am getting ready for court.

"I'm sorry I can't be with you babe," I said kissing him.

He said he understands I hope he does.

When I was ready I went to kiss Aro goodbye.

I got ready and left I was nervous I'm never ready to face my mom, I thought maybe she was bipolar that was easier than thinking she hated me.

I got there on time and parked sunny? Why didn't I borrow Robbies car I parked it and got to court.

I waited for her name and case number to be called and it was called.

She came out looking weird her hair was a mess and she wore clothes that made her look like she has been to hell and back, with her lawyer I able no idea who helped her maybe Robbie.

I sat down at the bench and waited for the verdict.

She was asked to choose between prison and rehab and she chose rehab with the help of her lawyer, I walked to them and told the lawyer I would take her .

She was shocked to see me but at least it was over, I waited for her and we walked to my car and both got in.

"I never liked your car"she said..

"As if you have a car"

I kept quiet because I didn't know what to say.

I continued driving.

"Mom you need to do something about your life this is not healthy"

"I know"

"So what will you do about it"

"I'll start with rehab"

I kept quiet and turned on the radio which she turned off.

"This is my car"

"Sorry Nia"

We drove in silence it was 2 hours away why the hell would they make it so far maybe not her being around would be a blessing.

Before getting on the road we stopped by her house to get a few things and I couldn't believe it....she wasn't shocked that her house was dilapidated.

We stopped by the gas station I needed to pee and needed food ,my mom drains the shit out of me.

We got out and went to buy something to eat, snacks, and a couple of things she said she needed.

She was my mother and I couldn't let her suffer even when she was never there for me or Aro.

When we were done we got on the road again.

She ate her snacks so loud I was getting irritated by that loud noise and couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Can you eat quietly mom please"

Then she laughed I think she has lost it .

"Sorry, your dad hated it too"

I nodded and had my coke...

"I blamed myself "she spoke

"For what cause I'm sure you have done a lot of shit which one"

"Getting your father killed we promised each other that we will save each other from the streets, cause that's where we met, but we couldn't save each other we were bad for each other "

"So why do you blame yourself"

"Raymond gave me his stash and I used it he wasn't supposed to see that but he did and he lost it he wanted revenge, I went home with bruises because Raymond hit me so I told your dad and that's when he confronted him, I knew Raymond would make us pay even when he let him go"

"I was there you know "

"what"

"We were busy with food I was hungry and for the first time we had all the ingredients for pancakes he said he would make them and I helped him then we ate,

After a while we watched tv and someone banged on the door he said I should hide and should only come out when he says so, I nodded and went under my bed"

--------Flashback--------

I was terrified I wanted my dad I needed my mom but she was probably high somewhere,
I stayed under the bed and heard the screaming and arguments and my dad begging for his life and heard 5 shots being fired.

Then I heard the guy come up and I prayed he doesn't find me I made a small prayer "God I know you're always listening please save me and I promise I'll make something of myself I won't be like my parents Amen."

I closed my eyes and covered my mouth because I couldn't stop crying and was terrified.

He came closer I could smell him.

Then his phone rang and he backed away then I heard his footsteps recede.

I called 911 and checked on my dad he was lying in a pool of blood his own blood I wish he had said goodbye but I guess him saving me was he's goodbye.

The police came and he was taken then my mom came and it was weird because she never once comforted me or asked if I was okay that moment she stopped being a mother.

-------------End of flashback ----------

"I blamed myself, I felt that I failed him you have his eyes Nia and everytime I look at you I see him and it fucken hurts I couldn't face you I couldn't be a wife how would I be a mother?"

"Yet you didn't mind failing me"

Then she kept quite an I turned the radio on.

Arlissa's Healing

"Wish I didn't have to say goodbye
And I know you see it in my eyes
But I don't know how to make it right
'Cause I need healing "played and I sang the song.

"I'm sorry Nia"

I pretended that I didn't hear her I've waited for an apology from her but not just any apology the one she meant because she realized she hurt me.

"Nia I'm so sorry"

I was full-blown crying and had to park on the side of the road and got out of the car.

I needed air...

"Sorry for never being a mom and hurting you and I'm sorry for taking it all on you, and I'm sorry for my sweet Aro"

"Do you know why Leo wanted her"

She nodded and my heart broke she knew my baby might be in danger and she didn't care.

"So you just took her to him"

"Leo was crying and told me about his son I couldn't let him die and you're stubborn like your father I didn't know how to tell you Leo said he had the best doctor and I trusted him"

"I'm trying to figure out how you managed to convince Ms Ramirez"

"She wasn't around her assistant was and I saw it as the perfect opportunity I'm really sorry Nia"

I didn't answer her I just leaned on the car.

She hugged me and I hugged her back I guess her healing helped me too...we left shortly after our moment....

I parked outside the center and I said goodbye not looking at her.

She slowly got out of the car and said:

"I'll do my best to be the mother you need"

I smiled and nodded as she disappeared into the building it was white and looked peaceful.

She looked back smiled, waved and I waved back I felt emotionally drained ...with the little strength I had left I drove to the studio to see Robbie.

I stopped by the studio and found Robbie he held me but this time I didn't want to cry I was tired of crying, after we had our moment we got in and he did his thing..he looked so amazing

He handed me his cd and I laughed oh my God.

I remember this day he said I should play with makeup and he will take pictures but it was for his cd sneaky ass...

Why does he love me? What does he see in me that I can't see?

We were having fun till Luke. came I was drained by my mom so I told Robbie ill see him at home.

I drove to Jas because Aro was with Ava.

"Why do you look like that"

I told her everything and she hugged me and said everything will be okay.

She cooked for me and told me about her and Landon.

"What"

"He gave me this" she handed me a card

"Aaawww Mr officer is quite a catch"
I winked at her...

"Do you feel bad for sleeping with Robbie"

"I broke my own rules for him and do not regret ,it I just love him I don't know"

"Rules are meant to broken I'm breaking mine by trusting a man one last time" Jasmine said..

"Thanks Jas you deserve this okay"

"Now help me get ready for my date "

"You don't need help "

"Shut up"

She got ready and when she came out my jaw dropped

"You look amazing and I'm proud of you"

"Thanks Nia I feel nervous"

"Enjoy yourself, relax and remember not to do anything I wouldn't do"

"Like" she said laughing....

I winked at her and she left laughing...