chapter
↳ seventeen
moodboard
↳ wild morale

-

Millie lay across her bed inside of her and Demetria's secret room. Pinky, her midnight black cat had followed them up and was now kneading her sharp claws into Millie's stomach. Other than wincing a few times, Millie made no sign that she was in pain.

Demetria was ranting about Benji again, and this time it was because he kept avoiding whenever Demetria would drop hints. "You don't know how frustrating it is for him to be so oblivious to my love. How come you can kiss anyone you want and yet I can't get the one boy I love to kiss me?"

"I don't kiss anyone I want," Millie protested. Lazily, however, since the statement wasn't exactly true. She had been on her kissing game a lot lately, but if she tried to explain it to Demetria, the latter would never understand.

There was this strange feeling that had been at the base of her stomach since winter break. She could only chalk it up to kissing Sirius, and how it must've made her realize just how much she liked the pleasurable sport. That would explain the fleeting urge to kiss him that she got every once in awhile. It would also explain why these feelings left quickly as soon as she latched her lips onto someone else's.

So Demetria was right, Millie was kissing everyone. She liked it too. She never knew kissing could be such a stress reliever from the thought of upcoming exams.

"You don't have to lie, it's just us," Demetria said. "And are you ever gonna tell me what kissing Sirius Black felt like? Or am I just gonna have to guess?"

Millie felt a pull somewhere around her chest and for the life of her, she could identify the feeling. "It felt nice."

"Details, Millie. Better than Regulus?"

Millie pursed her lips. She didn't like comparing people to others. "Different than Regulus."

"Why are you being so vague about it?"

Millie ran her hand down Pinky's back, noticing that her bright pink nail polish somehow matched with the cat's fur. Her mind went a mile a minute, struggling to find the words. "Well, don't tell him I said this. In fact, don't tell anyone I said this because it's a complete matter of opinion and I don't need people speculating and over analyzing my words—"

"Spit it out, Mill."

Millie frowned at her friend, but agreed. "I think it was the best kiss I've ever had."

Demetria rose her eyebrows, "Seriously? He's that good?"

"I wouldn't say he's a better kisser, but his kiss was warm and tingly. In a good way, like it felt comforting and hot at the same time." Millie felt stupid for saying the words out loud. To her they sounded like she was some third year describing their first kiss. "Forget it, it's nothing really."

Demetria stood up and straightened her shirt, "You are absolutely, positively the smartest person I've ever known, but you sure are dumb sometimes."

Without another word she left, leaving Millie to figure out what she meant.

-

"Millie likes Sirius," Demetria hissed at Benji, not caring that Remus was reading right across from them.

It had taken her awhile to find her crush, and finally checking the library and succeeding, she had more pressing matters to discuss than worrying about who knew about Millie's love life. "I told you I had my suspicions, didn't I? She basically admitted to liking him."

Benji's mouth drew up into a smile, "That's great! Then they can get together!"

Remus shook his head and tapped his quill against the wooden table. Black ink dropped onto the chipped surface. "Sirius won't cross that line because of Regulus. She has to tell him that she likes him for him to feel comfortable. That's what he told us last night."

Benji gave him a scrutinizing look, "Yeah, why did you guys come in so late anyway? It was practically time for breakfast when you returned. Did you guys go looking for fun in the forbidden forest or something?"

"Or something," Remus grimaced at them both before gathering his books and walking out.

Demetria noticed his face was a lot more pale and shrunken than usual, and his movements were slow. He was usually like this, with his weak immune system and all. She just hoped he wasn't getting sick again.

She also noticed that once Remus left, she and Benji were the only ones in the library. The librarian seemed to be sticking books in the restricted section, well out of view. "Benji, can I ask you something?"

Benji grabbed her hand, and she could feel his comforting warmth shoot up her skin and create fireflies in her belly. She knew Millie liked Sirius because the way she talked about him was the way Demetria talked about Benji. And she loved Benji more than anything in the whole world. "What is it, love?"

Demetria tried to will herself to be brave. She remembered when Millie just grabbed Sirius and kissed him at the Potter's house. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to follow in her friend's footsteps. She needed to do this the Demetria way, even if that meant the painfully shy and awkward way. "Do you think of me as anything other than a friend?"

Benji seemed taken back, judging by the red tint his ears had taken on and the way his smile faltered for just a moment before it fell altogether into something more subdued. Something quiet and timid and seemingly not Benji at all. "If I said yes, that I think of you as someone I'm falling in love with, would it ruin our friendship?"

Demetria wanted to squeal right there. She wanted to grab Millie and tell her that her dream of Benji Yoon liking her back had finally come true. She wanted to scream to the rooftops that she was quite possibly the happiest girl in the world. But instead she only shook her head, smiling like a fool, "No, because I'm already in love with you."

-

"Where were you at?" Sirius questioned lightly, looking up from where he was playing chess with Peter. The four of them were supposed to be studying, but judging by Remus' tired look and the fact that James was snoring on the common room couch, it was safe to say they were back to old habits of messing around until the last minute.

"Library," Remus shifted. He set his bag down and lifted James' legs so that he could sit comfortably on the couch. He let the bespectacled boy's calves fall onto his lap before he continued, "There are too many couples in this castle who want to get together but won't admit it. It's annoying."

James, who everyone else thought was asleep, snorted while keeping his eyes closed. "Oh, like you'd be so good at telling your crush you like them."

Remus turned red. "I don't have a crush."

"Whatever," Sirius said, "Who is this about anyway?"

Remus looked surprised. He stuttered once before he answered, "Uh, Benji and Demetria. They're annoying me."

"We should give them a love potion," Peter suggested before moving one of his knights.

Sirius frowned when Peter snatched up one of his pawns, "Or, more legally, we could have a party and play truth or dare."

"That's true," James mumbled, "And Lily let it slip once that Millie and Demetria know of this secret room in Hogwarts. Apparently it's super hard to find."

"It's not on the map?" Sirius queried.

"No, I checked. Unless Lily gave me the wrong coordinates."

"Since when do you and Lily hang out alone?" Remus asked before stifling a yawn.

"I dunno. We just talk when we see each other. I like it."

"Of course you like it, you git. You've been in love with her since first year." Sirius hit James' face lightly with a throw pillow, smiling as the boy let out a shout of protest.

-

a/n

she's back with a not-so-interesting chapter!

still had to write a few things before getting back to the main storyline.

pls enjoy and let me know if you like it!