chapter
↳ eleven
moodboard
↳ millie & girl support

-

"I already told you," Remus said as the four begrudgingly made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. "I don't go into heat once a month. That's a muggle werewolf myth — more possibly only about females — and I have no part in it. Real lycanthropes don't go into heat, only dogs do. So, if anything, you should be asking Sirius."

"Oh, I'm always in heat," Sirius said as he rummaged through his bag for a piece of gum. "That's why I don't sleep with any covers over me. Just a shirt."

"Being in heat doesn't mean you're hot, Sirius," Peter said, "It's means you want to mate."

"What?" Sirius stopped rummaging. "Like sex? Do dogs do that?"

"Do dogs have sex?" James laughed, "Honestly, Padfoot, how else are puppies made?"

Sirius looked frustrated. Finally finding a stick of gum, he unwrapped it and shoved the minty substance between his lips. He could use a smoke right now, but this was the best he could do inside of the castle. "No, I mean, I didn't know dogs had schedules for it. I didn't know dogs had schedules for anything. How come I'm not more organized?"

Peter took a glance inside of Sirius' bag, which looked like a bottomless pit of treat wrappers, spare parchment, and random poetry books. "As long as you know where everything is, you're organized."

Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing, "I'm not quite sure that's how it works, Wormtail."

Sirius really expected to see Millie at the Slytherin table. He could always pick her out, her now strawberry-colored hair very easy to spot in a crowd of blacks and browns. Usually she was with Regulus or Lucinda, the captain for Slytherin's team. Today, however, she was over at the Ravenclaw table. It seemed Lucinda had followed her, and the two of them, along with Demetria, were giggling over something Millie had said.

James clapped Sirius on the back, "Don't stare too long, Padfoot, or your brother might start to worry."

"Please," Sirius scoffed, "it's just... she seemed a bit down yesterday. I wonder what happened." He didn't want to tell any of the boys that she had been crying, or that the sight made him feel uneasy and depressed. It was like his stomach had decided to tie itself in a knot and grow tighter and tighter the more tears fell out of her eyes. It wasn't really something he felt Millie would want the boys to know. It wasn't something he wanted the boys to know.

"I wouldn't worry about it," James said softly. "Everyone has their mood swings. Maybe she got a nasty letter from home, or her favorite book character just died."

"Does Millie even read books?" Peter questioned aloud. "I'll have to ask her."

"Mail's here," Sirius changed the subject and sat down at the closest bench. "Maybe your mom sent more fudge."

-

As soon as the howler fell onto Lucinda's lap, everything in Millie's mind told her to grab Lucy and run. Run far away, into she and Demetria's secret room, where no one would hear whatever came out of the maroon envelope. But she never had time. Lucinda wasn't paying attention to the envelope she opened. Perhaps she'd never seen a howler. Perhaps she didn't know what was about to happen in front of everyone.

"LUCINDA TALKALOT! I WOULD'VE SWORN ON MY GRAVE THAT YOU WOULD NEVER BE SO STUPID AS TO RUIN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER. A BABY, LUCINDA, A BABY. YOU HAD A SCHOLARSHIP! YOU WERE ONE OF THE MOST PROMISING WEIGHT-LIFTERS OF THE DECADE AND YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THIS? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS? OR ARE YOU JUST SLEEPING AROUND HOGWARTS FOR FUN. DO NOT COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. IN FACT, DON'T COME HOME AT ALL UNLESS THAT BABY IS GONE AND YOU ARE PLANNING TO GET RIGHT BACK INTO TRAINING. I THOUGHT I RAISED YOU RIGHT, LUCINDA, I REALLY THOUGHT I RAISED YOU RIGHT."

You could hear a quill drop in the auditorium. Even the professors were silent as the howler burst into flames and curled up, dropping onto Lucinda's unfinished plate of breakfast.

One sob escaped Lucinda's lips. Millie turned to see the girl's freckles magnified through tears. There were too many to count, too many to wipe away. Before anyone could react, Millie grabbed Lucinda by the shoulders and pulled her up, ushering her out of the hall and towards the dungeons.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Millie could hear the sound of murmuring get louder and louder. "I'm a laughing stock," Lucinda mumbled, "I'm homeless, I'm pathetic, I'm pregnant, and I'm surely going to be expelled."

"Hush," Millie scolded softly after speaking the password to the common room. Before Lucinda could worry any more, Millie had already shoved her onto her bed and began pulling her shoes off of her feet. "Now why don't you try to get some rest? We were up all night talking so I'm sure you're still tired. I'll talk to the professors for you, and I promise that you won't be expelled. When you wake up, it'll be like this never happened, alright?"

Lucinda sniffed and nodded. "You're a good friend, Millie."

"Don't say that until I've kept my promise."

-

Standing in front of all the Head of Houses at Hogwarts was far more intimidating than Millie had previously anticipated. Especially when it was in Dumbledore's office, with the headmaster himself. There was something in his sparkly blue eyes that unnerved Millie.

"How long have you known?" His gentle voice echoed through the small room.

Millie scratched her palm, "Uh, I found out sometime in September, I think. Maybe October. I can't remember."

Professor Slughorn was the only professor who looked unworried. He kept sending Millie assuring glances, which made her feel a bit better. "She's been on top of all of her classes," Millie continued, "and I've been helping her in any way that I can. Martin has been too, since she told him."

"Martin?" Mrs. Sprout looked startled, "He told me he had good news, but this..."

The thought that Martin was excited made Millie happy. Still, they were only sixteen and seventeen. There was no way they would be able to raise a baby alone. Especially now, since Lucinda was homeless, without any family support. "She can stay with me during breaks and the summer. If she stays at Hogwarts during the school year, it'll give her a home. And I promise she won't get behind on schoolwork."

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "Maybe..."

"You can't be actually considering this, Albus," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "It's a horrible example for the other children!"

"What?" Professor McGonagall snapped, "A girl who made a mistake, continuing to finish school despite her difficulties? That's a worse example than your kids bullying the first-years?"

Flitwick opened his mouth to argue, but one hand in the air from Dumbledore shut him up. "I think I've made my decision. Miss Talkalot will continue her studies throughout her last year. We can offer her a home for the rest of the school year, but after that she's on her own. It might be well advised that both Lucinda and Martin should serve detention. Consider it a safe bonding time for the future parents." The headmaster had a soft smile on his face.

"I understand," Millie said. She bowed her head slightly, "Thank you so much."

As she backed out of the room, Dumbledore stopped her, "You wouldn't mind taking over the quidditch team for this year, would you?"

"No, Professor."

"Good. And, Millie, please let Miss Talkalot know that she is welcome to come to any of us for help, should she need any outside your expertise."

Millie could've sworn she saw a teasing wink in his eyes. Void of words, she simply nodded and made her way back to the dungeons.

-

"You think she's okay?" Sirius asked. Classes were out, and neither Lucinda or Millie had been seen since. Lucinda had definitely been the talk of the school, and though he wasn't named in the howler, Martin had made it clear that he was the father and wouldn't hear anyone making fun of Lucinda or the baby.

"I'm sure she's fine," James said. He clapped Sirius on the shoulder, "Dumbledore wouldn't kick her out."

Sirius thought it might be too insensitive to state that he had actually been talking about Millie. His mind kept going to that night in the kitchens, where she claimed to have cravings because of her period. It occurred to him that she must've been grabbing food for Lucinda's late night cravings. Which would mean Millie had been taking care of Lucinda this entire time, keeping a huge secret from everyone.

It felt familiar. Sirius wondered if she felt as burdened as he did having to keep Remus a secret from everyone. A part of him felt content in knowing they had something in common. It made him feel closer to her.

It felt weird, to feel as if he had something in common with her. Then again, they were very similar. Both were the only one not in their family's house, both were the older sibling, both had fairly outgoing personalities. There must've been other things, of course, but Sirius simply hadn't been around the Slytherin enough to tell.

Lately, he found himself wanting to be around her. He found a strange itch in his chest to figure out everything about Millie and just... embrace who she was. Because he liked her. A lot. And he knew it was unethical, because she was dating his his brother and also because she disliked him, but he couldn't help it. It wasn't like he could make himself stop feeling things. He knows, because he's tried all his life to stop feeling things.

"I'll be back in time for dinner," he said, and when he caught James' eye, he knew his best friend was aware of what he was doing. But he also knew that James wouldn't intervene.

By the time Sirius actually found Millie, she was over at the end of the yard, where the Black Lake meets the Forbidden Forest. Sirius watched for a good while, wondering how he could approach her again, or if this was even a good time to. He didn't want to overstep any boundaries, and there was certainly some kind of boundary between him and the girl who claimed to hate all Gryffindors.

He made up his mind quickly, deciding that Millie might not want to talk to him. But she must want to talk to somebody. So, he darted into the Forbidden Forest and, before he could second-guess his decision, transformed into a dog.

He didn't feel all that different — other than not being human, of course — and the crunch under his paws felt familiar. He almost had the urge to chase something, and if it wasn't for the fact that Millie's hair was so bright and attention-drawing, he might've gladly ran off into the forest after a stray butterfly.

But he remembered, vaguely, what he was going to do. He walked out of the forest until he was in Millie's sight.

When she saw him, her voice got two octaves higher and she immediately held her palm out in front of her, "Hey, buddy, what're you doing out here?"

Her smile was big, bigger than Sirius had ever seen before, and the thought that he caused it — however indirectly — sent a flame of happiness through his blood. He was quite certain his tail was wagging, but he couldn't be too sure.

Millie smelt even more like strawberries now that his dog nose was doing the smelling. There was something sweet and comforting in her sent, and Sirius found himself wondering what it would be like to hug her. He was so touchy with all of his friends that it was never really an issue, but with Millie, well he wondered if he'd ever get the chance.

She didn't speak like he thought she would. Not one word, but Sirius was sure he had helped her feel better. And she had scratched him behind the ears, so that was a plus.

-

a/n

guess who's back w a crappy chapter? this gal :)

hope those who celebrate had a good thanksgiving!