Four seconds. Four seconds is all she gives me before deciding to take a step back, her eyes a little wide, and her cheeks flushed. She probably looks as flustered as I feel.

"Okay, well..." Angel begins, but trails off with a shaky sigh and runs her hand through her hair to pull it to the side. "That was..."

One thing I realize in that moment, is that I've never heard her stutter before. Never has she stumbled over her words in my presence. She's usually so confident with everything she has to say – which is never that much, but still. She never looked like she could be easily worked up about anything, much less something that lasted just a few heartbeats.

"...a one time thing," She finally finishes her thought – though I'm pretty sure that's not exactly what's going through her mind. As well as mine.

"Yeah," I breathe out in agreement, and she nods too.

"I hope... I hope you don't regret losing your girl as much now," She almost asks, looking up from the ground, meeting my eyes for the first time since she pulled away. I slowly raise my arm and grip the door frame, and continue watching her. To be honest, I'm just waiting for her to make a move; do something, anything. Not just stand there and look at me – that's what I usually do.

"You should probably, like..." She covers her mouth with the back of her hand and coughs, "Go. I mean, your friend's probably..."

She doesn't finish her sentence, but I'd be stupid if I didn't know what she wants to say. And I'm only hoping she isn't serious about it.

"Yeah?" I almost whisper, too late at realizing that I've just said the exact same thing I did a minute ago. "You think so?"

"Mhm," Angel mumbles, her voice a pitch higher, "Since it's his car and everything."

I nod but don't move – I feel like we're saying one thing, but a completely different one is going through our heads. And I'm becoming a little anxious because it doesn't look like either of us I'd going to do anything about it.

"Alright," I finally speak up after a minute, which seems to startle Angel a bit. "Well, if that's what you want me to..."

"Well... I mean, you don't have to," She shrugs, her voice overly casual. Making me smile. "But... it's best you do."

I tilt my head to the side, desperate to find at least an ounce of hesitation; but as she looks down, I'm unable to do so. "You're right," I keep pushing, but I have a feeling that reverse psychology isn't going to help me in this case.

"Right," Angel mutters and clears her throat and, before I can react or anything, she takes another few steps back and looks up at me when her hand is on the doorknob on her side. "I'll see you around, Niall."

I nod again and take a step back – even though the voice inside my head is screaming and telling me to just make the first move. "Sure," I give her a tight smile, and start walking backwards; when I'm a few feet away from her I turn around and start walking away, but for some reason, I start slowing down when I hear her closing the door.

A sigh leaves my lips and I run a hand through my hair; I don't even know how I'm still walking forward. I can't name a single organ in my body that wants me to walk away. Every piece of me wants to be inside her apartment, with her body against mine, and her lips against mine, and- oh, fucking hell.

Eventually I get to the staircase, but this time I can't make myself continue walking out of the building. I just can't. I can't. And I think my legs are feeling it too.

Fuck it, I say to myself as I start shaking my head, and turn around to walk back to the door – at a much more determined pace. If this makes me look desperate, I don't care. If she kicks me out of the place, then I at least don't have to ask myself "what if".

As the thought crosses my mind, I kill the remaining few meters that are separating me from her door by jogging, almost knocking down the door when I start knocking on it. I bet this would be one of those times when Seth would call me 'thirsty' – but unlike other times, he'd have a legitimate reason to do it now.

"Angel?" I say through a breath, my face in the nook of the door as I knock. "Angel, open up, it's-"

And she does, she opens up. And I can barely see her face – that holds an expression as desperate as mine probably does – before she wraps her arms around my neck and presses her lips to mine. I shakily exhale through my nose and bring my hands to her waist; it's definitely nice to know that I'm not the only eager one here.

"Eager, are you?" I voice my thought as she pulls me inside, and I close the door with my back and stay against it. Angel narrows her eyes at me as she pushes my hair out of my face.

"Says the boy who almost knocked my door down," She breathes and smiles and, before I can get too caught up in laughing at that, kisses me again. I can do this, I can definitely imagine myself doing this on a regular basis. And I doubt that the feeling would go away as fast as it came.

"Don't- what the..?" As I start walking forward, pushing her into the nearest room, I feel something pull me backwards; and as I look over my shoulder, I don't know whether to laugh or run away in embarrassment. "Oh, you've got to be-"

"Relax," Angel cuts me off, "You just got stuck in the door. No big deal." But as she opens and closes the door and then locks it, releasing me, she bursts into a laughing fit; I know that other times I'd just want to stand there and watch her laugh, but now I make her stop when I push her back against the door.

"Don't call me a boy," I say what I'd wanted to say earlier, in a low tone, surprised that none of my embarrassment is showing. Angel stops laughing, and raises her eyebrows with a small smirk on her lips. I can only imagine what she's gonna say.

"Oh, that's right," She breathes, her smirk fading away when I reach under her leather jacket, that she still hasn't taken off for some reason. "You're a fucking man, aren't you?"

I snort at that, "Yes. Thank you." Now it's her turn to laugh, because, wow, isn't that such a manly thing to say. But I block the beautiful sound leaving her mouth as I kiss her again; isn't that what I came back for, anyway?

This time is a little different, though; her hands find my cheeks in a split second, and next thing I know, she slowly spins us around and leads the way to her bedroom. My hands leave her hips for a second so I could start unzipping my jacket; I can feel my heart rate increasing at all the thoughts going through my head, but I've no idea how any of them are going to happen. If I'd known this would be happening, I would have at least asked Seth for a-

Oh my fucking God. You have got to be kidding me.

I slowly look up from the ground, to see Angel already standing up. I can't even look up at her; I would never admit that I'm blushing, but now – when I've tripped over the door sill and, lacking better things to hold on to, pulled Angel on the ground with me – I kinda have to.

"My funeral is next week," I mumble and place a hand over my face. I'm relieved to hear Angel chuckle, but I'm pretty sure she's doing it to cut the tension as well.

"I can't believe I had a guy fall while kissing me," She says in a rather flat tone and, yeah, I'm definitely still blushing. "It's like the universe is telling us-"

"-not to make out while walking," I finish her sentence for her; I sort of know what she was going to say, but I couldn't let her say it. I don't know how I would've accepted it if she did.

"You know what?" She says, and I only catch her feet as she walks to the bed beside us when I look up. "You're right." I can't help but frown a little; and when I stand up on my knees, I see her lying on the mattress, her hands on her stomach and legs crossed.

"I'm right here."

So, in a span of two minutes, I've gotten stuck in her door and fallen over while making out with her – not to forget that I pulled her down with me – and she still wants me to kiss her. She's a keeper.

I smile a little and place my knees on the very bottom of the bed, and Angel uncrosses her legs when she sees what I'm trying to do. "This entire place smells like weed," I whisper when I'm hovering over her, between her legs and supporting myself on my elbows, my face an inch away from hers. Angel closes her eyes at that; I can tell that she thinks I picked the perfect moment to bring that up.

"And what do you think that means?" She asks. I love how I'm just lying here, on top of her, her hands on my chest, and we're having a casual conversation. That's definitely a first one.

"I think... I think that's why I fell," I say and give her a small smile; I'm surprised – pleasantly surprised – when she starts laughing again; and I hate that I have to interrupt her, again.

I reach up to cup her cheek with my right hand, making her stop laughing all together. Her slightly crinkly eyes find mine, and I can't help but wonder if her smile disappearing is a good or bad thing.

"You know..." She begins, but has to shift a little underneath me, "You do know that nothing's gonna happen tonight, right?"

I blinked a couple of times at that; it's definitely not something I was expecting her to say. But now that she did, I don't know how to reply – if I said yeah, then she'd know I'm lying because, well, I really would be lying. But if I said why not?, then she'd probably kick me in the face.

"Okay," I slowly say after a few seconds of silence, just before the atmosphere got too awkward again. "Yeah, I mean... that's a good thing. 'Cause I didn't bring a condom with me."

I gulp when she chuckles; does this mean I've said the right thing? Because I really don't feel like I did. "Trust me," Angel starts, her hands moving to my face to pull me closer to her, "Not having a condom is the least you should be worried about."

Why did she have to say that? In that tone? Why could she not kiss me first and then freak me out like that? If it was any other girl, any other girl, I would probably roll my eyes and think she's trying to sound 'badass'. But with this one, I never know if she's trying to be badass or if the cops are literally going to knock on the door any minute now.

"Why do you love freaking me out?" I say in-between a few kisses – though I doubt she's paying any attention. "Why do you want me to hate you?"

"I don't want you to," She breathes out as I pull away, getting a little carried away with my actions. "It's just that I'm not exactly lovable. Okay, what the fuck are you doing?"

I blink and look down at her, a bit of an annoyed frown on her face. "Um, I'm, I was... I'm sorry," I stammer and begin to pull the zipper of her jacket up again. My hands are a little shaky as I do it – I've obviously gotten worked up in the past minute. A little too worked up, I think.

"Wait." She shifts again, and I carefully look at her face again, to see her biting her lip. For God's sake. "You know what, you can... you can do it."

I raise my eyebrows, but don't move at all; I bet she's just testing me. "What-what do you mean?" Obviously I know what she means; I just don't know if she's kidding or if I'm dreaming.

"Niall, we're making out and you're lying on top of me. The least I can let you do is take my jacket off," She breathes with a smile, and, there's my answer; I'm not dreaming, nor is she kidding. Just a few days ago she was telling me that I'm never going to see her again, so I think it's safe to say that this is a fucking miracle.

"Alright," I say, my tone a pitch higher and I'm praying to God that she doesn't notice it. Luckily, I manage to unzip her jacket without any words of mockery coming from her. But dammit, I wish she'd said something so I wouldn't be as mesmerized as I am.

I can't really see much from just unzipping it but since I'm on my knees, she sits up and pulls at the sleeves in order to take it off. I'm happy that she's looking at where she's throwing it as she does it, because I've no idea how she'd react to my staring.

"Niall?" I blink as I hear her quiet voice, and notice her eyebrows are slightly furrowed. I guess this is her reaction to my staring.

"I'm-I'm sorry," I stutter again, and by the time I realize what I've said I have no idea why I just apologized. Angel smiles a little and straightens up, her eyes not leaving mine, while I couldn't keep mine in place. I just could not.

"What now?" She asks and somehow, I manage to look up into her eyes. The look of innocence in them is almost unreal.

"Um..." I have no idea why I can't stop stuttering, but it'd be really nice if I could stop in point two seconds. "You-you're not wearing..."

Angel frowns just the slightest, and I have to recompose myself so I could say what's on my mind – with her face an inch and a half away from mine, and her shirtless body where I can easily touch it.

"The thing you were wearing in the club," I say slowly so I wouldn't mess up any of the words. "The red... you're not wearing it now." I don't even know why I'm pointing that out; I just find the fact that she's wearing different underwear oddly interesting, for some reason.

"Of course I'm not," She tells me with a toothy smile, as if it's weird that I'm surprised about it. "I danced in it for three hours. Personal hygiene and all that, you know?"

I love how she just calls it dancing; people could think she's a ballerina or something. "Yeah," I nod, "That makes sense." And it really does make sense; I was too quick to judge her because of what she does. I remember her telling me that she wanted to major in neuroscience; and being a stripper doesn't exactly sound like something a potential neurosurgeon would want to do willingly.

My thoughts are interrupted when she starts laughing; and for the first time, I'm able to concentrate on something other than her body. "Why are you being awkward, all of a sudden?" She asks. All of a sudden? Aren't I always awkward though?

"I, uh..." And then I realize, she's referring to my stuttering. I have to agree on that too, I never stutter this much, but damn, do I have a reason for it. "I don't-I don't know what to do."

I feel like I've quoted every teenage girl right before she gives her first blowjob. "I mean... I know what to do, but since you don't want to..." Well now I'm just ruining the moment. I might as well should have gone home.

Angel closes her eyes in amusement, and then lies down on the bed – giving me a better look at her body and, well, she might as well just take a kitchen knife and stab me. "You can kiss me, if you want to," She suggests through a small sigh.

If you want to. She's teasing again.

I smile a bit, and slowly bring my hands to her bare waist; I don't think a girl's body has ever been this fascinating to me. First I couldn't stop looking at her, and now, I can't stop touching her either. I've a feeling that I'd rather just touch her than kiss her.

Every inch of her skin is hard, and tight. I can feel her muscles flexing as my fingers tickle her, and her skin erupting in goose bumps, causing her to shift in her spot again. I literally can't get over her body; not only is it more muscly than mine is, it's tan, toned, and tattooed in several places. I am jealous of it.

"Jesus Christ." I look up at Angel's face when she sighs, to see her staring up at the ceiling, her lips pursed. If I wasn't so caught up in whatever it is that I'm caught up in, I would definitely call her eager. Again. "It's as if you've never seen a pair of boobs before."

Oh, believe me, your boobs are the last thing I'm looking at. You're fucking me up. "Impatient?" I ask as I finally push myself forward, careful not to crush her as I hover over her again. Even though I'm pretty sure I wouldn't crush her even if I jumped on her.

"No, you're just wasting time," She tells me, reaching up so that her hands are on the collar of my jacket; if I didn't know better, I'd think she wants to take my jacket off now. "We can't afford to waste time if we're only going to do this once."

I grin at her words, my lips finding her neck so that she wouldn't see my expression. Here we go again with the one-time-thing thing. "You really stand behind that, don't you?"

"Mhm."

"What if I said that I'd make sure this happens again?"

I raise my head to look at her, when she doesn't say anything. "Then I'd tell you you've breathed in too much marijuana."

A light laugh leaves my mouth, "Says the person whose apartment smells like marijuana," I retort and watch her narrow her eyes. I'm so caught up in our little staring contest that I almost wince when I feel her hand on my cheek.

"Exactly," She says, "I breathe this air all the time. But you, this is new for you."

"How do you know I've never breathed air like this before?"

"I don't know. I just do." Angel moves around again and I see a small smirk settling on her lips. "Must be because of the way you speak."

Instead of asking her what the hell does that even mean, I nod a few times. "You might just be right," I say, even though she isn't exactly right. Fifty percent of the time I spend coughing is caused by the smoke in the frat house after a party. No, it's not just cigarettes. It's definitely not just cigarettes.

"And how does it feel?" Angel asks, and I can't help but smile once again – we're having a casual conversation again.

"Fucking amazing," I admit, because, once the smoke is gone and only the smell remains, it's actually not as bad. It's great. It's fucking amazing.

She chuckles, and I feel her hand going to the back of my head, her fingers lightly going through my hair. "I feel fucking amazing," I repeat, "I just don't know if it's because of the weed, or because of you."

Her smile fades for a few second, before an amused look appears in her eyes. "How am I making you feel fucking amazing? I'm not even doing anything," She points out and, well, there goes my attempt in being romantic.

"You don't have to do anything to make me feel fucking amazing," I tell her, moving to find a better position and so that my face was closer to hers. "You just have to... be you."

"Just that?"

"Literally just that."

She breathes out a laugh again, "I think I could do that," She almost whispers and pulls me by the back of my neck, to finally press her lips against mine again. At the exact same time as I hear the doorbell ring.

"Angel?" I'm a little annoyed as I pull away – since we'd just went back to kissing – but when I hear a male voice with a thick American accent on the other side of the door, my annoyance changes into surprise. Not the most pleasant of surprises.

"Oh, fucking hell," Angel mutters, and reaches out for her alarm clock that's on the nightstand by the bed. "It's only 1:15, what the fuck..?"

As she wriggles out from underneath me so she could stand up, the knocking doesn't stop, and once I'm left on the bed alone – now beyond confused – the person starts trying to open the locked door. "Very funny, Angel. Open the door."

I blink a few times and gulp, and finally look at her; she's practically running around the room, changing into a baggy white shirt and black shorts, pulling her hair in a ponytail, turning the small TV on. Almost like she's trying to cover up what's happened here; me being here. Her being here with me.

"Angel?" I say quietly as I start getting off the bed, but I jump off it when the knocking intensifies; I think this is the right time to start freaking out. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing, nothing," She says, and only sighs when she hears the knocking again. I can't believe she's this chill about it; if someone was practically trying to tear my door down with their knocking, I'd be going grey because of it.

"No, just tell-"

"You need to leave," She says through a breath – a rather heavy one – and walks past me to the large window. Actually, I only thought it was a window – when I turn around to look at what she's doing, I see her opening a glass door, that leads to a balcony, that has a staircase. A fire escape.

"Angel," I called again, just as the guy at the door shouted for her to open up again. "Angel, is that... is that-"

"No, he is not my boyfriend," She says through gritted teeth, walking past me again so she'd do another few things around the room. "I don't have a boyfriend, stop asking me if every person that calls my name is my boyfriend."

For a few seconds I just watch her, now ignoring the impossibly loud knocking myself. Then I shake my head, and start walking toward the door to leave.

I can't believe just a few minutes ago I was lying with her – on her – kissing her neck and wondering what her tattoos mean, and if all of them have some meaning. Now I'm walking out the fire escape, because there was another guy knocking on her door; I might be whipped in a way, but I know when I've had enough. And this is probably it.

"Niall." I sigh when I feel her hand wrap around my wrist, and I don't really have a choice other than to turn around, and look at her. She's biting her lip, a sad and slightly panicked look in her eyes. "I promise I'll explain, okay?" She says in a quiet tone, gripping the collars of my jacket to pull me closer to her. "I'll tell you everything. One day."

One day. No.

"No, can you just..." Instead of pushing her away, I yank my jacket away from her. "Can you just... not."

"Niall," She calls again, this time louder and a little more panicked. "Please, don't walk away. Don't... don't walk away."

Somehow, I know exactly what she means, and the fact that I'm too whipped for her is what makes me look over my shoulder again. "I know you don't understand, I know you can't understand, but just... don't walk away."

If she didn't look so vulnerable standing there, her arms wrapped around her small frame because of the cold, her hair flying around in the wind, and her eyes a little red – I can't tell if she's about to start crying or if it's because of the weed – I would be able to walk away.

"This is too complicated," I say with a shrug, referring to, well, everything related to her. All the secrets, the hiding, I'm just not in for that. I can't wait around for her to just decide to spit everything out to me one day. If that day even comes. "And I feel like it's not gonna be worth it in the end."

"It is," She says, her voice nearly cracking as she glances at the door, looking as if she's going to have a panic attack when she looks back at me. I frown; it must be because of the constant knocking, but why did she look so panicked about it?

"I promise." She starts walking toward me again, pushing her body firmly against mine. Partially to warm herself up, I think. "Just don't walk away."

When she presses her forehead to mine, I know I'm back in her trap again. And I can't escape, nor do I want to. "Okay," I say slowly, and give her a warning look. "Just don't make me wait too long."

"I won't. Promise."

The only thing I can comfort myself with, as I start walking down the stairs and Angel walks back inside to finally open the door, is that at least that definitely wasn't a one time thing.

*******

I feel like this is filler but idk
And if you hate me for not updating sooner that's ok bc I hate myself too

Dedicated to @melimelo_ because you literally read my mind :)) vote and comment and if the next update isn't within 3 days then feel free to shoot me too