"Freya?" I lean my head against the wall, "Are you gonna do it already?"

We've been standing in this fancy white building in front of these fancy white doors for 10 minutes, more or less. I'm surprised the couple living inside hadn't already seen her through the peephole.

"What if they don't live here anymore and-"

"Babe, we've already gone through this," I raise my brows at her, getting a little irritated at this point. "Just ring the bell, if it's not them that live there, we'll just go home."

"And that's it?" She says, looking down at her hands, picking at the hem of her plaid shirt. "We just go home and... nothing?"

"Not nothing," I frown, "We'll look them up online or something, it won't be the end of it."

Freya nods, sighing as she looks up at the door she's been standing in front of for quite some time; we've already had three people see us, if she doesn't do anything soon someone might tell the people living in this apartment that something fishy is going on. That is when she'll really be getting nothing.

"Oh, what the hell," She mutters to herself and with obvious force presses the button to the door's right; I widen my eyes and hurry over next to her, my heart speeding up considerably as we wait for the door to be opened – I get how she's feeling now.

A minute passes, before the door is opened by a tall, blond man; at first he smiles politely at Freya, before his face goes blank and his eyes get a little wide too. Good, he recognizes her. It would've been awkward if he didn't.

"Hi, um-"

"Freya!" He exclaims with a huge smile, and a heavy accent I can't quite put a finger on. "What- wha- how?"

Oh, okay, he's Dutch. Or from some country around the Netherlands.

"Well-" Before she can say anything, he steps closer to her and pulls her in a tight hug; it makes me happy to see they haven't forgotten her, nor that they have hard feelings because she didn't keep in touch.

"And who's this?"

"That's Niall, my-"

Again, before she can finish what she was saying, the man walks over to me and hugs me too. Just like that, he doesn't even know who I am, I doubt he even caught my name.

"Irish, yes?" He nods at me when he pulls away, still smiling, "I lived in Ireland for a year before moving here, met one or two Nialls."

I raise my brows in surprise- this is the first time anyone in America has pronounced my name the exact right way. And he's not even American. "Yes, yes, Irish. Yes."

"Yes, I love you guys, you're funny." I smile back at him, already taking a liking to him. "What is he to you?" He asks Freya.

"Husband."

"Husband? Oh good! I didn't like your last one, no offense." He goes back in the apartment, watching us from the doorway as Freya looks back at him with wide eyes, and I'm laughing my ass off next to her. I always go with my guts when it comes to people – I definitely like this guy.

"Come on in, Dalton will be home soon," He says, making way for us. "And my name is Sven."

"Sven?" I smile, walking in after Freya, "Like the character from Dota?"

"Yes, and Frozen," He nods, leading us to the living room. The very large, spacious, naturally lit living room. "Take a seat, I will get you something. Coffee or tea? Or something else?"

"Tea is fine."

He waltzes over to the kitchen, causing me to notice the open concept – all together the room must be bigger than my entire apartment. If this is an apartment, I can't even imagine what the penthouse looks like. At least we know Freya's biological child definitely has a nice life.

"Here's the sugar, add as you wish," Sven comes over to us a couple minutes later, carrying a trey with four cups- that's right, his husband is gonna be here any moment now. I hope he's as fun as Sven.

"Thank you," I mumble, adding one teaspoon to my cup, and look up at Sven; he's welcomed us as if he knew we were coming, it's almost suspicious. Then again, I'm pretty sure they thought it was just a matter of time before they saw Freya again.

"So, um..." Freya begins, holding her cup of tea but obviously having not taken even a sip of it. "This might sound a little straightforward, but-"

"I know, I know," Sven says, sitting opposite of us, nodding at Freya. "We assumed seeing her too early would have been too painful, we understand. In fact, Dal wanted to-"

"Her?" Freya cuts him off, getting teary-eyed just saying the word; I'm not gonna lie, I've known she'd given birth to a baby for some time now, but finding out the gender is making me a little emotional too. A girl. She gave birth to a little girl. Hopefully if she ends up getting any characteristics from her biological parents, it'll be 100% Freya and 0% Craig.

"Oh, yes," Sven looks at her apologetically, "You didn't want to know the gender. So you wouldn't get attached. Well, surprise!"

"What's her name?"

"Juul." I widen my eyes, my hand stopping itself halfway through lifting my tea to my mouth; what the fuck did he just say? "But you can call her Julie, because no one can say her name right. And that annoys me so much, you have no idea."

"Ditto," I mumble to myself, having Sven laugh loudly and stretches his hand out – I give him a fist bump, thinking that Freya couldn't have chosen better parents for Juul even if she had 500 other couples standing in line for her to choose.

"It's cute," I nod, "Why that name, though?"

"Well-" Sven is interrupted by a door opening and closing; he looks over his shoulder, starting to yell, "Dalton?"

"Yeah?"

"Come on, your tea's getting cold!"

"You made tea? You only make tea when we have guests over, is it Ben and Marissa?"

"No, they're not the only people we know."

"Good," An equally tall and handsome black man walks into the room, with a relieved look on his face. "I swear, I'm gonna get sick of their white people stories, you being white is enough-"

He stops in the middle of his sentence when he lays his eyes on Freya; just like Sven, he spends a few seconds watching her in mild shock, before walking over to her and giving her a hug. "I knew you'd pay us a visit sooner or later," Dalton shakes his head, causing Freya to close her eyes so she wouldn't cry. "I knew it, I knew it! Sven, did I tell you I knew it?"

"You sure did," He nods curtly, "Now sit the fuck down, let the girl breathe."

He pulls away, with as big of a smile as his husband had when he saw us- and looks over at me. "Hi, I'm Dalton. Are you her friend?"

"I'm Niall, the husband." I feel like it's going to take me a few years to get used to saying and hearing that.

Dalton raises his brows as he shakes my hand, averting his eyes to Freya, "I've no idea what he's like, but I sure am glad you got rid of- what's his name, Greg?"

"...Craig."

"Ah, yes," He shakes his head again, walking around the coffee table to sit next to Sven, "I never liked that name. By the way, I hope you don't mind the white people comment I made-"

"No, not at all," Freya says, sniffling a little- poor thing. "We make them too."

Dalton smiles, while Sven is sitting next to him with a frown. "I'm sorry, you asked something?" He looks at me, leaving me a little puzzled, "Before Dal came, you asked something. What was it?"

"Oh, um... well, I asked why'd you give her the name that you gave her."

I'm too scared to even try and pronounce her name – Sven looks like one of those people that are elated when they're in a good mood, and a nightmare when they're not. He might throw something at me if I say their daughter's name wrong.

"Oh, well, that's a nice story," He nods, "See, when we came out as gay, our mothers were miserable, both of them."

"Mostly because they didn't think they'd have grandchildren, you know, with us being they way we are," Dalton cuts in, "And that actually brought them together, crying over us. But then when we got little Juul, they both suggested-"

"They didn't suggest, Dal, they ordered us to name her after them."

"Yeah, yeah, and she didn't actually have a name for about a month, because both of them were persistent, but then, um..."

"My mother discovered she had cancer," Sven nods, pulling his lips between his teeth- well the story just got really sad. "And she played the cancer card, and his mom gave in, so her first name ended up being Juul. She's alright now, by the way, and rubs it in his mother's face."

"And my mom got the middle name, so she's okay with it. At least she tries being okay with it in front of us."

I breathe out a laugh, happy that the story didn't have any death in it. "What's her middle name?"

"Angel."

I choke a little on my tea, and notice Freya has her hand motionless as she holds her cup; there's no doubt in my mind that we're thinking about the same thing. "Hear that, Freya?" I speak up, now trying not to laugh, "Her middle name is Angel."

"I heard that, Niall."

"We actually thought about naming her AJ, you know, both of our mothers' initials," Dalton continues, completely unfazed, "And put, um... Freya as her middle name."

Freya looks over at them with a surprised slash emotional expression, nothing like the glare she was giving me prior. "You wanted... to name her after me?"

They already kinda did.

"Well, yeah," Sven smiles, a little awkwardly, "I mean... you gave her to us. There... I don't think we could ever express our gratitude in any way."

At first Freya only stares at them, eventually putting her hand over her mouth, "That's... that's..." She shakes her head, proceeding to cover her face with both of her hands- I scoot closer to her, hoping she wouldn't let her emotions get the better of her, but also trying not to laugh. Again.

"Where is she now?" She asks, in a normal tone, but her sniffling has increased.

"She's napping," Dalton answers, "Wait until she sees you- you came in the perfect moment."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's four, almost five, and that's when kids ask questions the most. And she's an intelligent little thing, she knows most of her friends have one dad and one mom, and she'd started asking where her mom is."

"What did you tell her?" Freya asks in a fearful tone; I have to admit, I'm a little scared of the answer too.

"That you'd be here soon enough, we didn't know what else to say, really."

"What- she knows about me?"

"Of course she knows about you," Sven laughs, Dalton laughing next to him too, "Look, we've both wanted a child for as long as we can remember and we know that we're great parents, but we also know that every child needs a male and female role model. And we didn't want anyone but her biological mother to be the female role model, so, yeah, you came in the perfect moment. This is when she'll start needing you."

"Hey, can you get the-" Dalton starts a second after Sven gets up, and scurries across the room.

"Already on it."

He goes over to one of the bookshelves in the room, coming back with what looks like a photo album- oh boy, I have a bad feeling I'm gonna start crying pretty soon too.

"Remember this?" Sven opens the first page with a proud smile, and both Freya's and my jaw end up on the floor – there they are, the very first two pictures in the album, twenty year old exhausted Freya in a hospital bed, holding Juul. Looking at her in one photo, and looking at the camera with a sad smile in the other. Jesus Christ. "The first time she said 'mama' was when she was looking at these pictures."

Instead of saying anything, Freya slowly turns her head to me, looking at me with an almost blank face. "I told you I'd need Valium before coming here."

She lowers her head against my shoulder, while the other three of us laugh at her reaction. All feelings aside, this is better than either of us could've imagined. Not only will she be a part of her life, but the little girl will recognize her immediately.

Before anyone can start talking, we hear another door opening and closing loudly, but it's not the front door; I look over Freya's head, my heart speeding up, while she almost jumps from her seat at the sound and looks in the same direction. It's not the front door, there's no one else living in the apartment – it's pretty safe to say who's making all that noise.

I release the breath I'd been holding when a small person in a Ramones sleepsuit comes into sight, my brows raised and my mouth hanging open at the little girl. She has long curly hair, that keeps getting in her face as she rubs her eyes- oops, she tripped on the step that separates the dining and living room, falling forward on her hands. Freya winces as she stretches out on the wooden floor, but Sven and Dalton snort.

"Mother trucker," The little girl says angrily as she gets up herself, earning three different reactions – Sven is laughing soundlessly, clapping his hands multiple times, Dalton has his hand on his forehead – it's probably Sven that she heard that word from anyway – and I'm laughing my ass off, respectively. And Freya, Freya's still staring at her blankly as she walks over to the nearer dad, Dalton.

"Hi, sunshine, d'you have a good nap?"

She hums something at first, leaning her head on her dad's chest, still sleepy. "I want a cracker."

"I'll get you a cracker, honey," Dal laughs, glancing at Freya, "But first, can you tell me who that is?"

Juul looks at Freya as he points at her, and I actually hear Freya's breath hitch at the eye contact. "That?" Juul points at Freya too.

"Yeah, the lady with the pretty hair, can you guess who that is?"

She curls her little arm to her chest, watching Freya with pursed lips for a minute. Probably the longest minute of Freya's life. "Mama!" Juul finally exclaims excitedly, pointing at Freya again- she lets out the breath she'd been holding the whole time, now getting happy tears in her eyes.

"Oh my God," She says in a high pitched tone, the back of her hand against her mouth- she hasn't properly cried yet, this might be her breaking point. And mine too. "Oh my G-"

"Why don't you go say hi to mama, huh?" Dalton says in a low tone; Juul gets a look of hesitation in her eyes, but once Sven motions to Freya to open her arms for the little girl, she gets off her dad's lap and scurries around the coffee table to Freya. With shaky hands, she picks her up and places her in her lap. And I'm hoping that Freya's shallow and loud breathing won't scare her off.

"Hi... Julie."

"Hi mama," Juul says with a grin, that actually looks like she's showing off her teeth; Freya gulps, trying to keep herself together, but ends up having to bring her left hand to her cheeks to wipe her tears away. The girl in her lap blinks once, her expression turning puzzled in less than a second.

"Why are you crying, mama?" She asks gingerly, raising her own hand to Freya's face. "Don't cry. Your face is prettier when you don't cry."

Speaking of her face, I'm stunned by how much Juul looks like Freya – every facial feature she could've gotten from her biological mother, including the curly hair, she got it. Except for her hair being black and her eyes green – that she got from Craig.

"I know," Freya chuckles, wiping her tears with both hands now, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I cry too sometimes," The girl says with wide eyes, "Especially when I watch Babe the pig."

I chuckle at how slowly she pronounces 'especially', careful not to mess up the word. She's the cutest little thing. "And who are you?" She turns to me as I make the noise, and at first I'm a little surprised at her forwardness, but collect myself quickly.

"I'm, um, I'm Niall. I'm... mama's husband."

Juul gasps, "You're married?"

"Yes we are," I nod confidently, "And we're very happy."

"Yay!" She lifts her arms, crawling over from Freya's lap onto mine, having both of us widen our eyes. "I'm happy that mama is happy with you."

She wraps her little arms around my neck, and this time it's me gulping; I slowly hug her back, flabbergasted by her actions, and clearly my face is showing my shock, as Freya is laughing and rubbing my upper arm. She's enjoying seeing me like this. Possibly because I'm her husband and I'm holding the little girl she's been dying to meet for years.

"Well, I'm..." I gulp, rubbing the girl's back, "Going to try and make her happy for many, many years."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise," I grin and hold my pinky finger out; Juul hooks hers with mine for a second, before pulling her hand away and hugging me again. My God, I'm gonna be really sad if too much time passes before I see her again. I've known her for three minutes and she's already grown on me.

"So, um..." Freya starts, looking over at Sven and Dalton, "When can I- we, when can we see her again?"

"Well, we can arrange something permanent," Dalton suggests, "You can have her over the weekend, say, every other week. If you'd like. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sven agrees, "Would you like to visit mama sometimes, Juul?"

"Yes," She answers slowly and shyly, pulling away from me and sitting on my leg so she can face everybody in the room. Okay, not seeing her would've made me sad; but seeing her every other week would make me elated.

"Really?" Freya says bluntly, obviously not believing what she's hearing – she's gone from not seeing her for almost five years to being able to see her every other weekend. "You... that would actually be okay?"

"Yeah, I know she'd like to have a mom," Dalton smiles, "Also it's a relief that, uh, Craig isn't around. We trust you as long as he isn't in the picture."

"Yeah, yeah, of course, he's not going to be a part of her life." She pulls her lips between her teeth, and takes Juul's hand. "No need to worry about him."

Just from the look on her face, I know she's finished that sentence in her head with 'because he's going to be dead soon'. I don't feel too bad about it, but it bums me out that Freya is saddened by it. He's just been a part of her life for too long.

"Great," Sven claps his hands together, "So you can come and pick her up... next week? Or the week after, whenever you can, we're home on weekends. Does that sound okay, honey?"

"Yes," Juul lifts her arms in the air, clearly happy with their decision, and, out of nowhere, Freya picks her up from my lap and stands up with her in her arms.

"We're gonna have a blast," She says to the little girl, "We'll order pizza, and watch Babe, and do whatever you want."

"Okay, mama."

She lays her head on Freya's shoulder, and Freya caresses her hair for a few seconds before, quite reluctantly, giving her back to Dalton. "I can't thank you enough for this," She nods heartily, both men standing up. "I promise she'll be fine with us, I have a three year old half-brother and Niall has a one year old nephew so we're-"

"I believe you, work on being less nervous though," Sven grins at her and gives her a hug. Dalton hugs her with one arm too, and hands her Juul for another minute so they'd say goodbye to each other. I get up from my seat, kiss Juul's head while she's still in Freya's arms, and start slowly heading to the front door.

"Invite us over sometimes!" Sven exclaims jokingly as we walk out, to which I gulp – if they saw my apartment, they would never let Juul visit us.

"You too!" I exclaim back before they close the door after we say our goodbyes, and I immediately look at Freya. "We're not inviting them over, right? I mean we're still living in my apartment, that place is like a hamster cage, we can't let them see that-"

I wince as Freya suddenly throws her hands up in the air, and bounces over to the elevator- almost exactly like Rocky in the stairs scene in the first movie. "I'm gonna be the best mother in the world, Niall!"

I don't doubt that one bit.

*******

i'm not crying you're crying