"You know, mum, there's no need for this, you should be at work and we're kinda tired so-"

"Nonsense, I'm not letting you go without talking to you at least for a little bit. Greg, be a darling and check if Theo is alright, I heard him crying on my way down."

I sigh as my brother nods firmly, leaving the room within three seconds- first a six-seven hour flight and now this. "Congratulations, by the way, you've already managed to make your nephew cry."

"Well it's not like I did it on purpose."

As we sit at the dining table, she seems to forget about everything that we'd said up until then; mum is just sitting there, watching us with a fond look on her face- well, it's fond when she's looking at me. And a little more stiff when her eyes are on Freya.

"Mum I'm serious, you need to go to work-"

"Do you seriously think I didn't take a day off for my son coming home?" She says, quickly, her voice a pitch higher than usual; why didn't I expect something like this? "I'm on call today so I might have to leave for an hour or two, but other than that, I'm here the whole day."

Well isn't that just fantastic. "Now tell me about you guys, how was your flight? Freya, did you manage to get a seat next to Niall?"

"No, I was behind her," I cut in, probably a little too fast, nodding my head casually; on the other side of the table my mother has her brows raised at me, and next to me Freya's hands are making their way up to cover her face. "What? I really was sitting behind her."

"Right," Mum says sharply, even though I can tell she's fighting back a smile. "Well, nice to have someone around here to remind us of Bobby. Speaking of him, when are you going to the cemetery?"

"Uh..." Well, this conversation just took a sharp turn. And I hate how she's mastered the skill of sounding so content when talking about my dad's current residence, while I'm still cringing at the thought of the graveyard being the only place I can visit him at. And the cringing hasn't stopped for four years. "One of these days, dunno. I'm here for over a week, right?"

"You know, if you're not too tired now, we could go in an hour or so-"

"I just got off a plane from the US, what makes you think I'm not tired enough to go to the ceme-"

"Well I was just thinking, since you're quite a few days late, you should get it done as quickly as possib-"

"One of these days, mum," I repeat, almost angry- no, I shouldn't even be almost angry, I should be furious. I'm gone for a year and she just forgets how much I hate going there. "Let me... get used to being here again first."

"Alright," She says meekly, clearly putting effort into not getting angry with me too. I can't blame her either, given that she still lives in the house he used to live in, I know what a burden it is to get used to him not living in it anymore. I personally felt like I was set free when I moved to Chicago. "I can tell you're too tired, anyway, you're usually not this cranky for no reason. Couldn't you sleep on the plane?"

"No, it was too cold," I mumble, scratching the top of my head, "Some genius turned on the air conditioning, I mean can you believe it, air conditioning in April."

"Okay, well- are you feeling sick?"

"Nah, I'm fine. I'll just... have a cup of tea later and I'll be fine."

"Okay." There it is. That fond look on her face. I don't know whether to look forward to it or be scared of it anymore. "How's school going? What's your average going to be?"

"Around nine, dunno."

"That's great, sweetheart! What about you, Freya, are you majoring in anything?"

I think that answers my question about her fond face.

"Uh, well..." Freya chuckles, shifting in her seat, "No, not yet."

"Not yet? Aren't you 24?" That cute laugh she's trying to pull off while saying her age is just not working, this religious Catholic lady would have me be with a 19 year old guy rather than a girl even a day older than me. "If 'not yet', when?"

"This year," I cut in, "She... couldn't afford it before this year."

I'm lying my ass off and I will get shit for it later. And if my mum finds out about it, I'm gonna get shit from her too.

"Okay," Mum says, apparently not entirely convinced. "Okay, I respect that. What are you planning to study?"

"Well, I want to be a doctor," Freya says humbly- she's probably uncomfortable all over again. "So probably something like biomedical engineering."

"What? Why that?" I frown at the side of her head, breaking the ice and taking my glass of juice first; both women copying my actions a couple seconds later. "I thought you wanted to be a neurosurgeon."

"Well yeah, but I can't go straight to that because I need a bachelor's degree first."

None of this is making me frown any less. "So... is that what UIC offers?"

"No, UIC has a medical school, that comes after the bachelor's degree."

"Yeah, I know that," I narrow my eyes at her for a second, "But you said, you said you want to go to UIC and if they don't have-"

"I still want to go to UIC," Freya cuts me off, still casual as ever, "I just have to get a B.S first."

"What's a B.S?"

She sighs- I know I'm asking questions like a five year old, but at this point I don't even care. "Bachelor of Science. You know, it's what I need for UIC."

And now the question I've been scared to ask since she mentioned the biomedical thing. "And where will you be getting that?"

"Dunno, there are colleges in Iowa, Missouri, there's this one in Boston that-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait," I interrupt her, and when she stops talking to look at me, I realize I don't really have to say anything that wouldn't sound selfish. Although, the way all of my blood drained from my face is forcing me to keep talking about it. "...none in Illinois?"

"Well... there is this one, but... it's not really popular or anything so I'd rather not." She makes a sour face while I keep watching her, and when she picks up on my blank expression hers turns a little worried. "Why all the questions, is this a problem?"

I look back at my glass of juice, playing with the patterns of the glass with the tip of my finger, "No, not at all."

*******

"When the hell were you planning to tell me?"

Freya first winces at my tone, before spinning around to look at me with wide eyes. "Wha- what?" She says in a small voice, while I walk past her to leave our bags on the other side of my bedroom.

"This whole thing with you and your bachelor's degree and how you won't be getting it anywhere near Chicago, would it have hurt to tell me earlier?"

"I'm... sorry? I thought you knew?"

"No, I only knew the things you told me," I turn to her- this is not the first time she looks like she's scared of what I might do or say, and I hate that, but we have to get some things straight. "You wanted to go to UIC. And be a brain surgeon, not a damn biomedical engineer."

"Did you even listen to me?" She breathes out with a laugh, "I need the biomedical thing so I can go for the neuroscience thing. The latter can't happen without the first one, why do you think becoming a doctor takes so long? They're obviously not gonna let kids of 18 who just got out of high school study the human brain and then operate on one in four years time, this is not The fucking Sims."

"That's not what I-" I cut myself off, sighing, "I- okay, UIC doesn't offer a bachelor's degree in medicine, I get that, but you never told me you'd be going as far as-as Massachusetts or something. You could have told me that. That's all I'm saying."

The look on her face turns sad, almost like she feels sorry for me- I wouldn't hold that against her, even I feel sorry for myself. "I'm... I'm sorry. I'll try to find something closer to Illinois, there's still time. It's only April."

"No, listen," I reach out to pull her closer by the loop holes of her jeans, and she initially tries pulling away- I did not want to make her upset too, me being unpleasantly surprised is enough. "I... obviously I want you as close as possible, but... you go where you think is best."

"Do you know how forced that sounded?"

"I know," I nod curtly, "Mainly because I'm a selfish asshole and I want you near for my sake, but I also want you to do what you think is best. Go to Harvard if you can, for all I care."

"Harvard also only has a medical school."

"Really? Damn." I resist the urge to say it out loud, but I really hope she doesn't decide to go to Harvard instead of UIC out of the blue.

With her arms still crossed over her chest, slowly takes another couple of steps closer and straddles me casually, like I knew she would. "Do you think we'll be able to get through all that? I'm gonna be honest, I haven't thought about it."

Well nice to know our relationship didn't cross her mind while she thought about going to school as far as on the other side of the country. "Dunno," I mumble, pecking her jaw, my hands on her thighs, "But as far as I'm concerned, we don't need a solution for the next few months. 'Cause you're not going anywhere yet, right?"

As I raise my brows, she just smiles at me, shaking her head slightly, "I'm never going anywhere. Not for real."

"Okay," I whisper against her cheek, kissing my way up to her nose. "I like that answer. Because if you decided to leave now, I would have to pay."

"Jesus, I keep forgetting we got married."

"You're already a horrible wife, I couldn't wait to come up here and put my ring back on."

Freya breathes out a laugh, finally reacting to my pecks by kissing my face back; her lips travel back and forth from my neck to my cheek while she sticks her hand in my pocket, searching for the ring herself. "Your hand, darling," She says in a velvet tone, holding my wedding ring- god, if there was something more permanent than marriage I would do it with her on the spot-

"Hey," I raise my brows, speaking so suddenly it almost distracts her from putting the ring on my finger. "How do you feel about matching tattoos?"

To my slight surprise, she widens her eyes, almost in fright- why would someone who's married and has two dozens of tattoos react this way to 'matching tattoos'? "Uh... matching tattoos?"

"Yeah, you asked me how I feel about marriage, I'm asking you how you feel about matching tattoos."

"Matching tattoos," She repeats again, in a whisper, to herself, playing with my left hand. "I... I don't know, how do you feel about them?"

"I asked you first."

"I'm not answering until you do."

I sigh, throwing my head back, definitely amusing her. "Well I... I'm the one who brought it up so I'm obviously... dunno, I like the idea of them."

"You do?"

"Sure."

"Would you get a matching tattoo with someone?"

"Freya, I married you and now I'm talking about matching tattoos, don't play stupid with me."

"Well okay, jeez," She smacks my shoulder, making me grin, "I... didn't want to jump to conclusions."

"Oh, now you don't want to jump to conclusions?" I ask, loudly, laughing when she continues smacking me, "Should've... married you back in October."

"I hate you," She laughs, "But I want... I mean I think I like the idea too."

"Yeah?" I raise my brows, my smile widening when she nods a few times. "What do you feel like getting? Wait, is there even something you didn't get already?"

"I didn't think it was possible, but I hate you even more."

"Well I knew it was possible, if it means anything," I laugh by the end of my comment, having her only shake her head at me and look like she's about to slap me. "Come on though, I'm serious. What would make a good pair of matching tattoos?"

"...Something that has a meaning to us?"

"Like what, two cups of green tea?" I smile when she narrows her eyes at me, "The 1975's logo? James Dean's face?"

"Real funny, Niall," She tries saying in a straight tone, but ends up snorting by the end of it. "You're real funny. Might end up sleeping on the couch in your own house."

"Alright, I won't make any more suggestions," I tell her slowly, making sure she hears me before her reflexes get the better of her and I end up getting slapped. "You come up with something."

Freya sighs, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her knuckles and her lips between her teeth while she thinks- I don't know why, but I'm just noticing this is something she does when she's thinking about something. "You know what, actually?" She says all of a sudden, startling me, "I don't know if you know, but..."

She gets off my lap while I watch her, a little confused, until she turns around and pulls on the back of her sweater until I can see her shoulder blade. "I have this little guy here."

"Yeah, I know," I nod, looking at the queen's crown located far right on her back, almost on the side of her upper body. "I clearly know your body better than you think."

"Well," She starts, ignoring my last comment, getting back on my lap, "It was supposed to be a matching tattoo. With Allison, first it was a deal I made with her, and... then I spent two years hinting to it with Craig, and... now..."

I feel a smile forming on my face when she shyly laces her hands with mine, looking at me with caution, "Tell you what," She suddenly says, forcing her nervousness away, "If we get through me going to school outside of Chicago, and everything is fine between us, I want you to get the king's crown. Is that alright?"

"Yeah," I give her a small nod, now fully smiling. Her suggestion is completely rational, compared to my impulsive one. "Can I ask something, though? Why did you want matching tattoos with Allison? Were you..?"

"No," She widens her eyes, shaking her head swiftly, "I... we're married so I'm gonna be honest, I... might have... wanted... you know. Something. To happen."

"With Allison?"

"...Yeah."

I nod throughout her confession, knowing what she was going to say before she finished. "Alright," I keep nodding, forcing my awkwardness to a minimum. "Listen, you tell me right now if you have anything else to be honest about."

"Are you upset about it?"

"What, you having feelings for your best friend? Nah, we've all been there," I tell her, rather quickly, "I just want to know everything there is to know. So you can see that I won't overreact, and you can keep telling me things."

"Well," Freya starts, not completely uncomfortable with my suggestion, "I'm... not sure there are any more things I've lied about that you haven't found out."

"Well you told me you figured out you're bi after Craig started bringing ladies into your sex life, so that's one lie I found out about now."

She keeps looking at me, clearly a little frigtened by what I've said- "Look, I'm not mad or anything, I promise, but I just wanna know everything there is to know. You know?"

Breathing out a laugh at my last two words, she shifts in my lap, "Okay, well... you know my name is Freya? And that I'm from England? And that I moved here because my father thought I was possesed by demons?"

"Yeah, I know the basic things."

She looks up, narrowing her eyes as if she's in deep thought, making me smile at her. I like how she's moved on from shitty things that happened to her in the past and now talks about them casually. Like her dad. "You know, when I think about it... you know pretty much everything."

"Yeah?" I smile wider, "Even the little things? That you can't drive? That you never wear anything but black and white? Lost your virginity at 18?"

"Well..." You have to be kiddig me. "I don't remember saying that last one, but I probably lied because you already knew I was a stripper and in an abusive relationship so I didn't want you to think any worse of me."

There are two reasons I'm frowning: one because she said that so fast I would've understood her better if she spoke with an Irish accent, and two... why does she think I ever thought bad of her? "What are you saying?"

"I wasn't 18. I was 16." Okay, that's not that big of a lie. "With the guy I met at that party, remember that story? The first guy who ever went... down on me? Also that's another lie, I love it, I'm just uncomfortable doing it with guys for the first time. Are you angry yet?"

"No," I chuckle, "Keep talking."

"Well... basically, I was 16, and after that, there were... Jesus, I'm too embarrassed to say it."

"Hey, what's so embarrassing about how many guys you've slept with?" I mumble, "I've had my wild times too."

"You're a guy, it's different."

"Well it shouldn't be." I raise my voice a little, "And it's not to me. If you really don't wanna say it, you-"

"Twelve."

"What?"

"Twelve guys."

"See, when I first became friends with Seth..." I pause so she could finish laughing at how suddenly I changed the subject- I didn't completely change it, I purposefully started the sentence that way. "I'd get twelve girls in two weeks. So you don't have to worry about your twelve guys at all."

"Okay," She says quietly, with a shy smile, obviously surprised I haven't said anything judgmental. "Just so we're clear, it was before Criag. I didn't cheat on him. I might've been a wild child at one point, but not a cheater. Regardless of him being one. I never was. Never."

"I believe you."

"And I never cheated on you either."

"Good."

"From the point where we became official, then broke up, then got back together-"

"Hey," I call her, earning a shaky sigh from her. "I trust you. Do you not think I trust you?"

"No, but..."

"Have you ever done anything to give me a reason not to trust you?"

"No. I... might've lied, but... I'd never go that far."

"Okay." I keep nodding until the scared look on her face goes away. "Me neither. We both married good."

"You have cheated before, though."

Why did I not expect her to mention this? "I'm... not proud of it. None of the girls deserved it."

"What makes me different from them?"

"If you weren't different, I wouldn't have married you. You dumbass."

"Good answer," She laughs lightly, having me shake my head at her. I know I've done shitty things before, but how could she think doing them to her would even cross my mind? "And, um... that's about everything. When I think about it, I've only lied about my... sex life. Yeah."

"I can live with that," I nod again, getting her to nod too- glad we're done with that. "Speaking of living with things... how's it going with my mother?"

"Not as bad as I thought it'd be," She says quickly and loudly, almost as if she's excited about my mum not being the monster we thought she'd be. "She... doesn't exactly like me, but she's trying to be subtle about it. I appreciate the effort."

"You'll grow on her, don't worry about it." Since when do I have so much faith in my mother? "Do you still think this was a bad idea from the start?"

"No, of course not-"

"Good, 'cause despite everything, she gets really emotional when I go to the cemetery with her, so I'm gonna need you to come with me."

Freya widens her eyes a bit at me, pouting her lips a little while processing the bomb I just threw at her. "I... thought me coming was implied?"

"Really? You actually wanna go?"

"Sure, I mean, I'm your wife."

I grin widely, pulling her closer and kissing every inch of her face besides her lips, making her giggle. "I take back what I said about you being a horrible wife."

"That was my intention," She says with a wide grin, having me kiss it away. She's already getting better at this.

*******

i'm really sorry for disappearing off the face of earth but i'm a week away from getting my license and then i'll drive all of you around to make up for not updating in centuries

and please vote and comment xxxx