Chapter 9★

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Char

Why do I keep on waking up feeling so guilty? Am I really doing anything wrong?

No, a person is allowed to be friends with whoever they choose to, even if their acquaintance is speechlessly attractive.

Jacques is the fuse to my broken circuit; I need to identify how he manages to make everything work. He fascinates me. His mentality is different to those I've stumbled across before.

He's different, a unique figure amongst the binary system of our society. 

"Morning mi media naranja."

"Morning baby." I rubbed my head against his chest which warmed me.

"Looking adorable chochito."

"That's you amore." I pecked his lips effortlessly.

I felt slightly uneasy.

Somehow hanging out with Jacques and not telling Fede has made me feel like I'm lying to him; maybe even hiding. It's just early days to introduce them to each other and I wouldn't want either of them to get the wrong message.

I know Fede's possessive vibe can dictate his actions on occasions and I wouldn't want him to over react as just like week he thought the pizza delivery guy was flirting with me and that didn't go too well for his tip.

"What are you up to today amore?" He brushes his palm against my cheek. It was a lovely way to wake up I sighed.

"I have a couple of errands to run this morning and will probably have lunch with an old friend, actually I think you might have met him before, do you remember Harvey?"

"I think you've mentioned him a few times, where are you guys gonna go?" He asked casually. Although I could tell he cared a little bit too much as his hands were bawled into fists ever so slightly.

"Probably somewhere Asian, he loves that type of cuisine. You have nothing to worry about Feds, we're just friends." I rubbed his shoulders reassuringly and placed a kiss across his constricted lips.

He groaned in enjoyment and reciprocated my advance; I knew I was off his radar temporarily after that and his fingers began exploring my exposed skin. It felt so nice be draped across him this morning, better than usual I nodded in agreement with his exploring lips.

"Could you not just stay here with me, I haven't got my lecture until this afternoon." He pulled me into his chest and for a moment I forgot my intentions and plans for the day.

"Maybe I could stay here a little longer."

He planted a trail of kisses across my chest which made me blush in surprise. I brushed my hand across his stomach effortlessly winding up his desires.

His hair was sprawled in every single direction possible, probably due to the impacts of sleeping and my playful fingers.

We were entwined in very intimate hug that I had to break up in order to allow my day to run smoothly and not lead to any frisky activities. Although I was very close to giving in to his requirements.

"I'll see you later baby." I pecked his cheek and removed myself from the warm proximity of our double bed.

"You better." He rolled onto his front and I could hear the tiniest snore escape his mouth.

"Love you baby." I cooed as I headed for the bathroom.

"You more Lotta."

When he asked about my itinerary of today, I left out the part that I was meeting Jacques for coffee this morning, but telling my boyfriend that I was having coffee with a friend this early in the morning surely could be expected.

I was officially  dead until that sip of caffeine kick started my day.

Whoever invented coffee; merci beaucoup.

There's one thing I know for sure and that's the fact that I'm not a liar, never have been and I refuse to ever confine myself into that little corner of failure in any relationship.

I made an exception for keeping thoughts under lock and key; somehow that seemed different. (Up to that point, I hadn't yet drawn the parallel between them)

I spotted Jacques in the cafe before I'd even had time to take a breath. To me he stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Spotted you." I joked to myself.

He was just so distinctive, it was refreshing to have a fresh set of opinions amongst my own. His aspect on our surroundings always really intrigue me and my thoughts I buzzed to myself.

He wore his usual leather jacket and a pair of black jeans; simple and yet he looked appealing to any female.

"Jacque." I tried to grab his attention but his head was still stuck in the book which he'd been reading before I noticed

Recently I've started looking at everything with my eyes fully open, that's always been something I've been quite reluctant to do; but I guess this new perspective has made me see things I've been so ignorant to before.

Like the sky, I mean it's there the whole time, the whole span of your life but I've never admitted how stunningly beautiful it is.

The different spectrum of emotions it displays every day, never the same image. It's bizarre how addicted I am at just checking it's still there every day.

Consumed in my own thoughts I didn't even notice the woman carrying scalding hot coffee bump into me.

Ouch.

"Oh my goodness Miss, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry-." She continued to apologise as the temperature of my body rose to an unbearable heat.

My body was encased in a burning stroke of water that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. She burnt me.

Double Ouch.

I need to shout my head off at this stupid woman but now everyone's looking at us and I would be destined the villain instead of the victim.

Play it cool Char; I soothed to myself in an attempt to keep calm.

"It's fine, could you get me some cold water." I squirmed under her stare and cut her off before her irritating voice angered me anymore. She hadn't meant to pour boiling water all over my arm, but that didn't mean I had to forgive her for it.

"Charlotte, oh my are you alright? What happened? Are you in pain? You look lovely today, oh shit I shouldn't have said that. Are you okay?" He widened his eyes nervously as he took in my pained expression.

"I just bumped into this lady and well the rest is self explanatory." My body started to shake due to the trauma it could feel around my exposed skin.

It felt scalded by the heat that it had just come into contact with. "Cold water sounds great right now."

"Let's go to the bathroom and see how you feel after that." He suggested but I knew it was more of a command.

"Are you sure you're alright, Charlotte?"

Jacques splashed some ice cold water across my arm, I was finding it difficult to concentrate when his gaze was so concentrated on me. I was distracted by him, it made the pain seem a little bearable.

"I'm ... actually feeling a lot better, thank you." I allowed a smile to appear.

For a second I forgot about the situation that had just occurred and lost myself in that moment. Although before Jacques leaned in closer I reached for the tap and switched it off. I wasn't that distracted.

"We should really head down to the hospital just to make sure it's not too serious." Jacques penetrated my thoughts as he stared directly into my eyes.

"Jacques it's just a small burn, hardly worth the trip. But thank you." I smiled reassuringly as his brow creased in concern as we sat down at the initial table I'd found him at.

We spent the rest of the morning discussing pointless things and watched the time flutter past.

I loved the way he made me laugh, uncontrollably I felt like a little kid again and somehow I didn't really care how stupid my giggles sounded in comparison to his masculine chuckle.

Jacques and I parted ways not long after the bill head our way.  

My thoughts rushed back to what Jacques had told me that day over coffee; that ignorance is blissful when you choose it to be, but otherwise you're just wasting your time.

If you're gonna do anything; do it whilst absorbing every ounce of detail and fun that you possibly can, because that's living and those are the memories and situations that actually make you feel like your atoms and interacting with each other.

It's real.

"When you kick start every day with a shot of adrenaline that no coffee mug could every shoot through your veins, then you know that you're doing it right." He preached as I bobbed my head in agreement.

Ever since he told me this, nothing seems the same, really.

I mean everything still fits into place like it always has, but it seem heightened like everything has the ability of being extraordinary. It just depends on how you perceive it all.

As soon as I left the shop my mind was already onto another somebody.

My best friend or rather 'long-time-no-see-pal'; Harvey.

Hopefully I'd be able to head over to South London within the hour I'd given myself on the tube.

I had my fingers crossed that he wouldn't have a business meeting to attend to instead of seeing me.

I was met by a man dressed in a delicious suit that made him look so mature for a momentum I was lost in his attire before I realised who this handsome devil was. I was impressed to recognise him my Harvey.

Damn.

I'd known Harvey since we were little but he still surprised me every time I noticed something about him that looked older and wiser.

I reminisced about the good old days when we had little to concern our juvenile lifestyles and stupid actions that we believed had no consequences. Oh how times change.

"Ello stranger." His husky voice invited me to sit at the wine bar with him.

"Well someone's grown up." I replied as he embraced my body against him. He felt a lot more muscular than the last time I'd seen him; I assumed the fitness programme must have been agreeing with his physique.

"I've missed you Harvs, Lis too. She's run off across Europe and I haven't seen her in ages." I sighed heavily.

"I missed you too Char, but we both knew that Lisa wanted to live out her teen years as much as she can. Forget about her for now, I'm here to see you."

I started to reflect on why Harvey had been so distant from her live in the past twelve months: After he'd finished studying business at Uni, he successfully managed to get a placement at a firm who worked on a global scale.

Which also meant that Harvey could never decide how long he'd be allowed to be with his family or friends in the same place.

Both Lisa and Harvey loved to travel as children, so It doesn't really surprise me that I barely ever got to see them anymore.

"So tell me how everything's been with you?" He stared directly into my eyes.

"Well Fede and I are still together, Uni is great and I love my course, I'm starting to think it was designed just for me.It's not too confiding but I mean it's English Literature what did I expect." He nodded his head understandingly.

"Is something up, you don't seem as chipper as you were last time I saw you." Harvey speculated, he was excellent at identifying my moods.

I had to admit that before Lisa and I had become close. Harvey and I had been friends since we were little. We just got each other.

He bobbed his head as I opened my mouth, "Well the thing is, I met this guy and I can't stop myself from wanting to know everything about him." He smiled as my voice quivered in a nervous fluster.

"Sometime we meet people, who just change the way we think." He rubbed my hand for reassurance as he spoke with such calamity.

I've miss you and your advice so much, I pulse internally.

"He tells me about all the quirky things he gets up to, instead of actually proceeding with the adult world." A smile broke across my face as I described my newest friend.

"He's different but I just want to be friends, you know." I gnawed the inside of my cheek, but Harvey simply exposed his perfect teeth with a smile. He could understand that I didn't want to freak out Fede.

"Continue." He mused.

"He reminds me of Peter Pan, and I wouldn't mind being his Wendy for a little while. I've always wanted a friend who thrusts me out of my comfort zone and into the skin of an adventurer." I bit my lip, after realising how honest I was being.

"Char, stop over thinking this situation. We're really close and I wouldn't want a girl to interfere with my relationship with you." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"You're one of my closest friends, so don't worry about making more friends and if Fede is annoyed about you meeting new people then maybe he's not the guy you thought he was."

He made a valid point I'm too precautions about everything, even taking the bus; I over analyse all of it or anything that could be potentially happening or might happen.

"You always know how to soothe me." I placed my hand on top of his.

"How about some lunch to lighten the mood." He winked.

I explained to him whilst we ate that Dad had pulled some strings for an internship at the publishers which starts next year.

"I'm really looking forward to being employed; but I wish I'd earnt their attention and not gotten Dad to rekindle his old friendship."

"Connections are everything Char, don't reject his help. He's probably worked his arse off to get you that opportunity."

I was so shocked at how mature he'd become over the past eight months. Time really can change people.

As lunch came drawing to a close, I felt a tinge of sadness spread across my face, "You'll come see me next time you're back." I wondered out loud."

"Of course I will, I miss you too much Char."

"Love you Harvs."

"Love you more Char." He ironically blew a kiss over his shoulder. He admitted as he embraced me for the second time before departing down the street.

He's sort of like my own assistant at life hacks in the flesh, he's a genius.

I love the way I feel when I'm with him; I bet Fede would love Jacques, but I mean we literally just met and I don't want to introduce them.

Before I'm sure this friendship will be considerably long term or just a part of this phase in my life, when I need guidance I bubbled to myself.

It's kinda exhausting but incredible all at the same time, and I know it's selfish but I don't want it to end, ever.

Lissy seems like the type of person who would love Jacques, he's so open minded, just a free spirit roaming in the wind. She loves creative people.

That reminds me she wanted to have a catch up next week before, she has an art exhibit in Moscow, I think.

She told me that her latest guy is really into fur skin trading or something like that, doesn't surprise me - Lissy is always up for new ideas; especially if the investors are darn right cute.

Maybe I should introduce Jacques to Lissy?

He would definitely be a real catch for her and maybe he could tie her down. Someone needs to before she becomes a flirty-thirty and I'm supposed to be the young fun one.

I need to stop thinking of Jacques actually becoming a dedicated segment of my life, I'd only known him for seven days and yet it felt so natural to be with him and talk about all the insecurities and mouth off things that I had to double think before I voice to Fede.

It's not that I don't trust him, it's just he makes  me nervous and I didn't want to do anything that might make him change his opinion on me.

Still early days with Fede I guess, honeymoon stage in our relationship is still going strong after a year of serious dating, things still felt so perfect.

It's still early and the sun hasn't yet graced the presence of the horizon; but I've fallen in love with waking up at the brink of 5 AM and witnessing the magnificent sunrise and then drifting back to sleep whilst Fede cradled me in his arms. I was his.

If we're all being honest here, I've never been so infatuated with a boy before I hummed at the thought of my boyfriend.

Fede is definitely not just some boy, he's my compatible match and I couldn't imagine having it any other way. He makes me be the person I've always wanted to be.

His sole purpose of gracing this world was to be mine; this allowed me to be slightly avaricious, which I couldn't complain about.

I like being someone's, but that didn't mean he dictated my lifestyle.

Why do I feel like I have to convince myself this every second Jacques shows a little pieces of himself to me?

"I love you Feds." I covered his neck in signs of affection.

"Ssh amore, I love you too." He croaked.

Everything that had occurred in the last few weeks seemed too good to be true, everything was working out for once.

Everyone was happy for the briefest of moments.

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― Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. ―

— Pope Paul VI —

✶Wow, Char sure gets her fair share of interactions with the opposite sex; what are your thoughts? What was that moment with Jacques all about? Gotta admit they are still couple goals.✶