David went around his room lighting candles. Not one or two, to guide their way to bed, but all the candles in all the braces on the walls. Cate sat curled up in an armchair watching him, her heart racing despite the stillness of her body. They were both still in their evening dress, which she supposed would be the first obstacle, but he had removed his shoes and stockings and rested them on the empty grate to dry. There was something terrifyingly intimate about his bare feet. She did not often see a man's bare feet, except perhaps her brothers', and even Luke hardly counted as a man.

When every last candle was lit, David came over and sat down on the chair opposite her.

"I had to think about it," he said. "I went for a long walk to think about you."

"And what did you decide?"

He leaned forward so he could take her hand in his. "Nothing. I just... kept repeating it to myself, and wondering if it could be true."

"It is. I love you." It was easier to say now she knew he wanted to hear it. "It took a long time coming, but when it did, it came like a flood."

"It did?" David dropped to his knees on the ground before her so he could kiss her hand. "What changed?"

"I don't know. You." She touched his wind-chilled cheek. "Kiss me."

"I didn't change." He nosed around her shoulder, not kissing her, not even really touching her, just getting close and breathing her in. "Cate, I lied just now. I did decide something out there."

"I know. I'm here. I'm yours." She touched his coat sleeve and shuddered. "You're damp. Take off your clothes."

"I'm getting there." The barest flash of a smile crossed his lips. "Sorry. It started to rain. I was miles away and had no choice but to walk back in it."

"You could have taken shelter."

He shrugged off his coat and let it fall to the floor. "I knew you would be waiting for me."

"Yes. You made me wait. Alone with our guests." She tugged at his cravat. "David. That was not nice."

"Cate. Darling. Sweetheart." He caught her hand in his, stopping her from removing his cravat. "I'm sorry. I had to get out of there. I had to move. I'm not very good at feelings, and I felt a lot of things when you said..."

"I love you," she prompted.

"Yes. That." He kissed the inner side of her wrist. "It makes my heart race. Take off my cravat now."

She loosened the knot and pulled it off him. His shirt slipped open to reveal a triangle of pale brown flesh, lightly downed with black hair. She stroked the hollow of his neck.

"Where's your scar?" She asked. "You have a scar, don't you?"

"Lower than that." He brought her hand downwards to where his waistcoat covered his lower ribs. "Here."

"Does it hurt?"

"No. Not one bit."

"Can I see?"

He ruffled the skirt of her evening dress. "Not yet. It's your turn now."

"Fine." She leaned down to pull her slippers off, but he stopped her by taking her hand.

"Let me," he said.

His hands were delicate as he undid her straps and pulled her slippers off. Then his fingers slid upwards, over her calf, and played with her garters under the cover of her skirts.

"Can I untie them without looking?" he asked.

"I don't know. Can you?"

"Hm." His fingers played over her flesh, probing delicately, sending anticipation tingling up her legs. "Is it... this way?"

"David. When are you going to kiss me?"

"Hm." He kissed her absentmindedly on the knee through her skirts while he tugged at her garter. "I've almost got it."

"You've never kissed me. Not once."

"I have actually."

"Properly."

One garter came loose and her stocking slipped down her calf. He met her gaze as he unpeeled it all the way with gentle, patient fingers. "Not until we're both in bare feet."

"Do you mean to torture me?"

"Absolutely." He stroked her other leg under her skirts, searching for her garter. "Your legs are beautiful, Cate."

"You can't even see them."

"I'm doing better than looking." He was quicker this time, and her other stocking came off in moments. "Come here."

The tremble in his voice told her that he was not as confident as his words suggested. She scooted to the edge of the armchair and he knelt up and stroked her cheek.

"What if you don't like me?" he said.

"I love you."

"Of course." He kissed her cheek softly, then worked his way down towards her lips. "Don't stop saying it."

She would have said it again, but his mouth found hers and prevented it. She wrapped her arms around him, finding more rain dampness in his hair and the back of his neck. It was a long, deep kiss. When they finally broke apart, he rested his face in the crook of her neck as he caught his breath.

"At some point, quite soon, I'm going to pick you up and carry you to bed," he said into her neck.

"Good." She twisted her face to kiss the corner of his jaw. "We'd better take some more clothes off first."

"Mmm." He kissed her shoulder and ran his hands over the back of her dress. "How does it come off?"

"You first. Your waistcoat. Your shirt. Show me your scar."

"Fine." He fumbled with his buttons. "I hope you... I hope you like me."

"David. I've been dreaming of you for weeks. I can't even be sure this isn't a dream."

He kissed her on the mouth again, hungrily. "Not a dream."

She helped with his buttons and slid his waistcoat over his shoulders. They were hot and hard under the thin silk of his shirt. She grazed her teeth across one on violent, instinctive impulse, then tugged his shirt out from his trousers. He helped her, lifting it over his head and discarding it carelessly on the ground behind him. The down of black hair continued in a triangle down his chest before narrowing to a strip down his lean belly. She traced it with her fingers until she found the bald patch on his ribcage where a flat white scar showed. She kissed it softly.

"Was it dangerous?" she asked.

"It could have been. I was lucky that day."

"Thank god you quit." She trailed kisses up his chest to his neck and found his mouth again. "I need you."

For an interval, she had him, then he broke away and tugged once more at her evening gown. "How does this come off?"

"At the back." She twisted around in the armchair. "Laces."

There were a lot of laces, but while his hands worked on them, his mouth worked on the back of her neck, which was quite pleasant. At the same time, Cate ran her hands through her hair, disentangling the ribbons and dislodging the pins. She wanted to feel his hands running through it, once they weren't so occupied with her dress.

At last, her dress came undone. He unearthed her from its enveloping folds and tossed it aside, leaving her in her stays and shift, then stood and pulled her bodily into his arms. She clung to his neck as he carried her to the bed and draped her down upon it.

"I've wanted to do this for months," he muttered.

"Why didn't you?" she asked, her hands still around his neck.

He shook his head and crawled on top of her, straddling her. Heat rose inside her, but he tugged her hands from his neck and flipped her onto her belly so he could access her stays.

"More laces," he grumbled.

"Why didn't you do it?" she stretched her hands under his cool pillows and relaxed, enjoying the pressure of his weight resting on the back of her thighs while he pulled at her stays. "I would have let you."

"I want more than that." He paused to bend and kiss her shoulder. "I want you to want me."

"I do want you, David. I love you. I've been in love with you since... since my birthday, I think it was. It took a long time to come, but when it did, it came like a flood. And you were so damn polite, so proper, you and your intolerable civility." She twisted over onto her back to face him, her insides sparking at the contact between his straddled legs and her thighs. "You said sorry when I kissed you. And you talked things out so reasonably. And you refused to consider sleeping with me — even only yesterday afternoon."

"I refused to consider bedding you to please your father," David corrected, gliding a hand down over her hips and between her legs as if finding out where the folds of her shift would lead. "You must agree that he has no place in this conversation."

"Yes, but then I said..." she faded off as his hand reached the natural destination of its course. "Mmph."

"Then I asked you to persuade me to change my mind." David's fingers struggled against the fabric of her shift. "You made no attempt to persuade me."

"That's not what you said!" She arched against his hand. "I had no idea what you meant! What you wanted from me!"

"Only your love. I thought that much was obvious. Clearly I was wrong." He took the chance to flip her back over on her belly again so he could finish with her stays. "Darling, I will see you naked before I finish you. I want to see you naked."

That explained all the candles. "I've had a baby, David. I'm not..."

"You're beautiful." He pulled her stays apart. "I promise you, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I've always thought that, from the moment I met you. No. From the moment I first saw you. And I never stopped thinking that. Not for a moment."

"Really?" She turned over again and sat up so he could pull her loosened stays over her head. "Even the moments when you hated me?"

"I hated you more for being so beautiful." He kissed her gently. "But even when I hated you, Cate, I never stopped loving you."

"You did."

"No." He laid a trail of caressing kisses down her neck. "It was only ever you. I walked into that crowded ballroom two years ago and I saw you and I fell in love. Like being struck by lightning." He pushed the sleeve of her shift off her shoulder with his lips. "And after you broke my heart, I tried so hard to find another woman I could love, but I couldn't because my broken heart was full of you. No room for anyone else. There never was. There never will be."

"David." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head. "Davie. Darling. I didn't know. I never knew how much you loved me. You never told me. And I couldn't have guessed." Even now, she was not quite sure she understood.

"Love you." His kisses were sneaking beneath the low collar of her shift now, making her body light up inside in ways she had not known it could. "Let me tell you now: I love you, Cate."

It could hardly be the same love as the love he had felt when he first saw her across that crowded ballroom, Cate thought, but it didn't matter. It would be a stronger love for knowing her better. A greater love for being loved in return.

"Then love me," she said, lying back on the pillows and pulling him down with her. "And I'll love you."

__

2023-06-26: Look. Not just one kiss. A whole damn chapter devoted to making out. ... I always get nervous about these bits. It's sort of like PDA.