I think this notebook has become a sort of therapy for me. I spent my afternoon recording the morning's encounter word for word. I then read and reread it until I couldn't stand the thought of Iris for one more second.

There's a part of me that's still eager to see her. There's a part of me that hopes that my dreams are meaningless. It hopes that Iris is just a pretty face and a kind heart with no dark side in sight. There's another part, however, that knows that isn't the case. Her hands, her voice, the feeling of her gaze are all too familiar. She's the perfect likeness of the woman from my dreams, as well as the woman from my nightmares

That thought makes me squirm, and I wince as my thighs tear from the pleather bench. I didn't specify exactly what time we should meet, so I had been waiting around for over an hour. The ice in my lemonade had melted completely, rendering it watery and undrinkable. I contemplate asking for a new one, but decide against it. I've only been allowed to stay so long because I'm friends with the owner, and I don't want to push my luck.

~

I'm back home now. Iris walked in just as I finished writing that last bit. She was just as beautiful as I remembered. The sight of her cleared my head of all my apprehensions, and I felt like a lovesick schoolgirl once again. She slid into the booth across from me, and made a sound I can only describe as a chuckle, cliché as that may be

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting long".

"Not long at all." In truth, I had arrived at 5:30 and it was then well after 7:00.

"So, what does a girl like you do for fun in a town like this?"

"I explore the forest mostly. I live on the edge of town, so it's like the whole thing is my backyard." I didn't know why I was being so open. I don't generally like to tell people about my hobbies, but she had some strange quality that made me open up to her.

"Sounds interesting. I actually just moved into my sister's house. She's right on the edge of the forest too, so I've been doing a bit of exploring myself." That hit me with a wave of feeling like being hit by a truck. Not only was she gorgeous and funny, but she shared my interests. Or at least, she shared one interest. "Maybe we can meet up sometime and you can show me some interesting places."

"Oh hell yes." Forget playing it cool, I was jumping at the chance while I could.

"There's my Lizza. Always so eager to get me alone." I winked at her.

"Since when am I your Lizza?"

"Since this morning babe, unless you have a better idea."

"Yours sounds good to me."

"I thought you'd say that"

She batted her eyes at me, and I suddenly struck by a strong feeling of apprehension. There was a hint of something in her glance that just felt wrong. There was something more to her beyond the wit and the flirting. There was something of her true nature in that glance; it served quite well to shatter all of my lovesick fantasies in one foul swoop.

I had been trying so hard to forget, but I was now forced to come to terms with the facts. Iris's eyes were, still are, the eyes of my killer. They are filled with love, but equally filled with some dark intention beyond what words can express.

She was, is, like two sides of a coin. One side is my dream girl. She smiles, flirts, and bats her eyes in just the way to send me head over heels. I'm infatuated with her. I'm in love with her. Her only flaw is the existence of her other, hidden, side. That side is cruel and dark. It comes out only through flashing glances and moments of intuition. It glares at me through her pretty brown eyes, and exudes an aura of dark magic and unspeakable malice.

If there was only the light side, I would surely be properly in love with her. If there was only the dark side, I may well be plotting to run away or kill her. As things are, however, I sit perched on the knife edge between infatuation and detestation. She is both beautiful and vile to me. She is my dream and my nightmare.

~

I was lost in that line of thought for who knows how long. It was eventually interrupted by the arrival of our pizza. I half heard Iris thank the waiter, and then I heard her speaking to me.

"You alright Liz?" The concern in her voice sounded genuine, but she had called me Liz.

"I'm fine Irene. Just got a little distracted."

"Ire-? oh. I called you Liz didn't I? Sorry."

"It's fine babe." If she noticed my smile was fake, she didn't feel the need to comment.

The rest of the night went well enough. We bantered casually and enjoyed the food. She even seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself. I, however, couldn't shake myself of a sense of dread.