I swam to the surface, trying to get some bearings. Squinting in the sunlight I saw land. It was very far away.

Pic began the swim towards the beach. Stopping, I realized. I'm wearing this dress. When I go to the surface and change back will I be cold?

Chris

Any thoughts I had before vanished. The sky was blue but was turning a burnt orange, the suns warning of darkness. If something were to happen to him, dealing with it in the dark sounded as good as fighting off a grizzly with your bare hands. So I swam. My head bobbed above the water.

I was trying to reach the beach so fast I didn't notice the boat. A spear missed my head by a few inches. Turning, I saw the man in the boat. Ethan. I covered my face hoping he didn't see it. I couldn't make out any change of behavior, just another spear. Going under I tried swimming to the beach, below the sea level. But if I came out on the beach he would see me.

I had to take the long route to this small cliff a few minutes away. Reaching it I summoned my legs, being able to swim in the waves became a bit harder.

Making sure I didn't damage the dress, I climbed. And yes, I did feel the cold air. It chilled my bones to the point where I'd thought they'd gone brittle. I req he'd the top to get my bearings. I was five minutes away from my house. Though I hadn't known Chris long, I knew he could take care of himself. I needed to change and check on Jacob.

*****

My arms felt like Popsicles as I ran to my house, trying desperately to not lose sunlight. I ran into my house. In the living room I relaxed at the sight of Jacob and Ms. Ryan. My lungs stung from the frigid air and running. "Oh dear, oh my, where have you been? You're going to get frostbite!" She exclaimed, but then noticed the dress.

Her eyes wide she looked up. "I don't think we get frostbite," I said, my voice chattering along with my teeth. "Oh... Welcome!" She said, a smile taking place on her face.

Jacob turned to me, an expression of sorrow and joy. "Emily, I thought you left me!" He said running into my arms. "I would never," I said, realizing that I really meant those three words. "What about dad?"

Oh.

"he's fine, I found him in other town where I had stopped. He said he had ran out of fuel so they were picking up some. He said he was going to call but didn't have time. He's really busy and found some good work over there. He might not be back for a while," I said, some of it kinda true, and some of it my hope. "Oh," he managed. He softly huffed. "Yeah, too busy for his own kids," he whispered.

"Okay, well, great reunion. But I need to change and go," I said, hurriedly. "What?" Jacob said, hurt. "Why what's happened?" Ms. Ryan asked worriedly. "Do you know Chris?" I asked.

"Yes, of course, he works very hard," she said smiling. "He's here," I said. "Oh, wonderful," she exclaimed.

Ugh! She's not getting it!

"No, Ms. Ryan I think you should go home... to your real home," I said sternly, a new authorization creeping into my voice. "Yes," she said her voice shaking. "I have some changing clothes, I knew one of your might be..." She glanced at Jacob, "so I had for both,"

I nodded. "Jacob stay here, don't move, don't have anyone over, just don't even let them know you're here," I said, hastedly. "Emily, what's going on?" He asked. "Nothing,"

"Emily! Stop treating me like I'm 5! I'm 13! And I'm also not stupid," he yelled.

I weakly smiled. "I know," I said, and followed Ms. Ryan. As we scurried out the door I heard him say,

"you're just like dad,"

It's the way he said. He didn't yell, didn't whisper. Wasn't sad or happy.

It was contained fury.

Just four words.

Hot, boiling fury contained in a 13 year old boy.

And the thought tore me to pieces.

*****

We arrived at her house. She handed me a dark blue tshirt, black pants and green jacket. The colors reminded me of Chris. The first time we met I attacked him. The thought made me chuckle.

"Good luck,"

I nodded.

*****

I walked over to the different shops trying to find him. I walked into the market. "Does he have blackish brown hair?" The cashier asked, clearly uninterested. I rolled my eyes. "Yes," I grunted. She stretched and looked at her nails, her brow furrowed, as if she was thinking hard, or she found a blemish in her hot pink nails. "Hey, Andrew, where did that kid say he was going?"

Andrew, I guessed, looked up. "The picnic area," he said. "Which one?" I asked, my voice beginning to shake. "You know in the meadow, there's a trail to get there," he said.

There.

The place I vowed to never go again, except only once a year.

On the day my mom died.

"Thanks," I whispered, clearly shaking. I know I should run to the picnic place, but my legs felt like lead. Every step sent a jolt through my body.

Thump.

Trudge.

Thump.

Trudge.

Each step a memory.

"Come on! We're almost there!"

Thump.

"Sweetie! Wait up!"

Trudge.

"Dad and Jacob will be here soon! We need to set the blanket!"

Thump.

"Emily... Please stay near me... Something's wrong,"

Trudge.

"Mommy! Mommy help! The ground is opening!"

Thump.

"Honey, get out of the way!"

Trudge.

"Mommy! I can't move!"

Thump.

"Sweetie, when I push you, run!"

Trudge.

"Okay..."

Thump.

"Now!"

Trudge.

"Mommy! Come on! Let's go"

Thump.

"I'm stuck!"

Trudge.

"I love you!"

Thump.

"Please!"

Trudge.

"The ocean, it will help, don't leave it!"

Thump.

"No!

Trudge.

"Emily, I'm so sorry,"

Thump.

"Mom! Grab my hand!"

Trudge.

"I'm sorry Emily,"

Thump.

"Stay strong..."

It was me.

My mother's death was my fault.

My thoughts made me so dizzy, I hadn't realized I was at the picnic site.

"Emily?"

I looked up to see Chris. "Chris!" I yelled, running to him. His eyes widened. "Emily!!!"

The ground wrapped around my legs.