Stepping into her hometown was nauseating, to say the least. She hated everything about it. 

Her hometown was very different from Los Angeles, it was smaller, greener. One could even be fooled into thinking it was liberating, wide spaces, flower gardens, the kind where one wants to elope with their lover. Perhaps it was, it could have been, at least. But the air reminded her of how it stung against her cuts. It was famous for its food, Lorraine thought perhaps that was the reason she was never big on eating. 

Coming here after ten years...Lorraine almost thought that it was a mistake, and all she wanted to do was turn around and get on her jet once again, flying back home. But in a twisted way, it was also kind of uplifting how she had rose from the ashes and had come back ten times stronger than before, only to mock and spit on the godforsaken land. 

Lorraine refused to meet her mother at her house, so they arranged the meeting in her office. 

"Raine," The woman averted her head to the side to find her brother walking beside her. He took her hand in his. "You've got this."

She sighed, looking ahead of her. "Yeah. I've got this." 

As their car drove past the tall trees, Raine was convinced that this place hadn't changed much. Still felt suffocating despite being a small town. Fucking disguised nightmare of a town. And by the time they reached the building her mother's office was situated in, Lorraine's legs were shaking. 

She stepped out of her car. She hadn't felt this kind of fear lodge in chest since years now. God, she couldn't even remember her mother's face completely. She could only remember her face in certain expressions. Pain, anger. Couldn't really remember her mom with a straight face...or a happy one. Doesn't remember ever seeing her like that. 

And now suddenly she had to see her.

Tom and Lorraine stopped in front of the door the receptionist had guided them towards. It seemed like her  brother had avoided coming to this place as well. 

"You don't have to go in." He suddenly said. "You don't have to. I can manage by myself. Raine, I don't wanna distress you." 

Lorraine clenched her jaw. If she was to back out now, she'd just become an epitome of cowardness for her mother to laugh on. 

"Stop talking like you're all grown up to me." 

"Stop being stubborn." 

"Shut up."

She glanced at the guard who was standing by the door of the office and that was enough of an order from him to open the door. It was Tom who entered first, Lorraine rolled her eyes and stepped in once he was inside. Her guards followed. 

There was a conference table, and by the end of it, there was a woman. Lorraine sucked in a sharp breath. Yeah, now she remembered her face. But it was different. She was older, her blonde hair were turning white in places. But she had no wrinkles, as if she had never really laughed. 

 Their eyes met and Lorraine found it hard to define the inferno of emotions that took over her like a tide. She felt like throwing up, cold sweat brewing on her skin and she just prayed it didn't show. 

"You're here. Sit." 

God, now she remembered her voice too. And Lorraine wished she didn't come back. Recalling everything, reliving it...it was too much. 

Gathering herself up, she started walking. Tom sat beside the woman that they called their mother once. Lorraine sat next to Tom, him acting as a barrier. 

She could feel the woman's eyes on her, observing her, shredding her apart just from her unwavering gaze. 

"You look different." The woman said, making the actress freeze. "Stronger."

Lorraine scoffed at that. 

"And you look near to your death. Pleasant." 

It was a lie. She looked beautiful, not like someone who was nearing their death at all. Maybe that was the problem. Her mother stayed quiet, letting Lorraine's words settle in. 

"You've found a man." 

Lorraine stiffened in her seat. 

"I hope he treats you nicely. I saw the news about the both of you. He looks like a good man. He must be, after everything you've been through, I think you'll find the right person for yourself."

God, why was this woman talking as if she had half the idea of what Lorraine had been through? Of how Jimin was? Of how her life was back in Los Angeles?

Jimin-

She can't mention him like that. Not as if she had the right to. She was trying to act like a mother when it was everything she hasn't done. 

Jimin worshipped the ground Lorraine walked on. 

Her mother couldn't stain his name like that. 

"He won't let me bleed out on the floor. Don't worry."

The silence that followed was heavy, Lorraine's words hung in the thick air with a dead weight while she tried her best to feign nonchalance. She didn't look at her mother. One time was enough. She didn't want to know if her words affected her or not. Whether it stung. Because it could never sting the way it did for Lorraine when that glass pierced her flesh open. 

But through the corner of her vision, she could she the woman's perfectly manicured hands curling on themselves where they were placed on the table. 

"I was helpless." 

"Oh you-"  Lorraine was so speechless she couldn't even find it in herself to laugh. "You were helpless. Right." 

"I was scared! Every night, he was abusive to me too. I was scared he'd do something to me."

Lorraine turned her gaze at the woman, despite trying her hardest not to. 

"I took a fucking stab for you...and you couldn't even find the guts to save your own fucking daughter, you selfish bitch." She scoffed to herself. "All this time, I kept feeling guilty for leaving you behind because you were a victim too. But you just- God, I don't even- you didn't even try."

Her mother pursed her lips. "I saved myself first. You'd have done it too if you were in my place."

Lorraine shook her head in bewilderment. "All this fucking act of being a mother for once- you're just rotten, at this point."

Before her mother could retort with something else, the door opened to reveal another person. Someone who had Lorraine clutching the armrest tightly. Beside her, Tom's gaze darkened with unmistakable anger. He looked as if he was restraining himself from just prancing at the man. This was the first time Tom was ever seeing Zak. Lorraine didn't think he'd remember his face, To was very small when they left this place, after all. 

It was Zak. 

Wearing the same kind of black suit he wore years ago. 

"I'm sorry for being late."

Lorraine and Zak's eyes locked and the man halted in his steps, contemplating whether to move forward or not. But then he lowered his gaze and started walking again, occupying the seat right across from her. He wasn't looking at her, while her eyes were burning holes into him.

"Now that he's here," Her mother started, gesturing towards a man cladded in formals behind her. He kept a set of papers on the table. Her mother pushed them towards Tom and looked at him. "Sign this and we don't have to do this entire thing ever again. What did you even bring her here? To spite on me?"

Lorraine took out a cigarette from her jacket's pocket, putting it between her lips before one of her guards automatically came forward to light it up for her. She inhaled before blowing the smoke out in incoherent patterns. 

She scoffed and tucked her chin towards Zak.

"Just like you brought him here to spite on me." 

"What are you talking about? He's the new owner of the company-"

"God, she doesn't even know what happened, does she?" Lorraine locked her venom gaze with that of Zak's, who was frozen on his seat. "Why don't you be kind enough and tell her, mh?"

They're met by nothing but silence. Lorraine waited. Waited for a few seconds before scoffing and leaning back in her seat. She took another drag from her cigarette.

"He's not gonna sign the papers." Lorraine declared, glancing at Tom. "The company will remain his...and I'll burn. It. Down. I'll shred it to pieces, just like it shred my flesh. It all started because of this wretched business of yours after all."

"What?!" 

Lorraine smirked. "I've never seen you this scared, mother. Not even when your daughter was dying." 

"You stop making decisions for him!" The older woman yelled before looking at her son. "Tom, she's brainwashing you. We talked about this. You agreed to give it to Zak, didn't you?"

Tom inhaled sharply before taking Lorraine's hand in his from under the table. 

"I will always stay by her side." He said. "I agreed before knowing the whole story. Fuck- I was five when all of this happened. All my life I had so many questions in mind."

"I could give two fucks about your goddamn business but I'll die before I let the man who assaulted my sister handle it." 

He then looked at Zak, gritting his teeth.

"You..." A growl. 

It happened so fast, Lorraine barely registered it when Tom the cigarette from her hand and got out of his seat, walking around the table until he was face to face with Zak. He punched the man in the jaw, causing him to groan in pain and surprise, body yanking sidewards in the chair. 

"Tom what the hell are you doing?!" Their mother shrieked, standing up from the table. 

Tom grabbed the man's throat, squeezing it, making him wheeze and face him once again. Then Lorraine's brother stuck the burning end of the cigarette right onto Zak's closed eye. The man screamed loudly, thrashing on his chair. 

"You dared touch her?! My sister?! I'll fucking kill you!"

"Tom, stop!" Her mother yelled again, voice shrill from horror. "Stop him!" She ordered her guards. 

Her guards rushed to separate Tom from Zak. Lorraine clenched her jaw. 

"Free him, what do you get paid for?!" She yelled at the guards standing behind her. 

They rushed to free Tom from the guards' hold, still yelling curses. Once he was free, he started walking towards the man who was wailing in pain while keeping a hand on his eye. He started yelling in fear once he saw Tom advancing towards him again, pushing his chair back, his other eye bloodshot and pooling with tears.

Lorraine stood up and sprinted to stand in front of Tom. 

"Tom. Stop." She said, voice so shaky it scared her. She couldn't recognize Tom right now. He had never acted this way before. His expressions looked livid. "Stop, please..."

At that, something snapped and her brother's face fell. 

"Let's just go." She whispered to him. 

He inhaled a breath before turning around. He took the papers that were kept on the table and tore them in half before throwing it at their mother, not caring where it it here. 

"Fuck you! And anyone who tries to come for my sister, I'll have their throat." 

He threatened before storming out of the room. 

*

"What the hell did you think you were doing?!" 

Lorraine yelled once they were in the hotel room and the door was shut. 

"Making him pay for what he did."

"Tom, I swear to god! You know there will be consequences to this! What if he decides to sue us?!"

"I don't care!"

"It could end your fucking career! The career you worked so hard to build!"

"I said I don't fucking care, Raine." He said, grabbing her shoulders. God, she had never seen him this way. He was shaking, flushed from anger, eyes holding tears. "You're my only fucking family. You're the one who saved me. Shit- you're my fucking world. I will kill for you. I will kill anyone who hurts you." 

Lorraine took a deep breath, throat stinging. 

Everyday Lorraine had survived to protect Tom. Everyday Lorraine had decided against killing herself because of Tom. Even when they were free, all she had wanted was to work hard to give Tom a life that she didn't get to have. Perhaps she failed, she wouldn't know. But everyday she had tried to save her brother's innocence. From letting him put on makeup when everyone used to call him a girl for doing it to shutting his ears and making him fall asleep next to her so that he wouldn't hear what she grew up hearing. 

Lorraine never wanted to Tom's innocence to be killed. She never wanted for him to even know what was meant for a girl and what was meant for a boy. She wanted him to flourish in the realest way possible Without knowing societal norms and just doing what he liked to do. Tom loved to cook. He loved nail paints. He dreamt of becoming a chef and opening a restaurant of his own. 

Even though he evolved from his interests as a child, Tom was so fucking beautiful in every sense. At least to Lorraine he was. Her little brother. 

But today...today she saw Tom's innocence scorch away as their roles reversed and he strived to protect her. Lorraine didn't know whether she failed or succeeded in raising Tom up correctly but perhaps she must have done something right for her brother to love her as much as he did. 

She sniffled as her eyes brew up with tears. She didn't let them fall, instead, she smiled. 

"Baby," She murmured, stroking his cheek, trying to soothe her brother who was still breathing heavily. When did he grow up so much? "I'm fine. Look at me, hey..."

Tom's breathing slowed down. She gave another reassuring smile. "I'm fine, Tom. I'm right here and I'm completely fine."

She pulled him into a hug. Tom rested his hands on her back and she could feel his fingers trembling. Then he broke down as a sob wracked through him. Suddenly he had buried his face in Lorraine's neck and he was crying loudly. 

"How could he hurt you, Raine? How could he hurt you?" 

Lorraine swallowed around the knot in her throat, stroking her brother's hair as he cried, holding him tightly.

"I'm not hurt, sweetheart. I'm not hurt at all." She whispered, kissing his temple, tears trailing down her eyes. 

"I can't lose you. I c-can't lose you." 

"I'm not going anywhere..." She grabbed his face to make him loke at her. "Where's this coming from, my baby? I'm never going away from you."

Tom sniffed, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. 

"I just-" He hiccupped. "I can't lose you like I did before. When I was sent to hostel...I had no idea what was happening. Why they were sending me away. No one was telling me anything and I was forced to live alone. You used to come but- but I didn't understand why I couldn't live with you. Now that I've gotten you back I- I need to protect you. I can't lose you again." 

That night, Tom slept sobbing against Lorraine's chest, pressed tightly against her. Just like he used to do when he was young. 

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me."

Lorraine kissed the crown of his head, stroking his hair and crying silently. 

"It's alright, sweetheart. I'll make it alright." 

And God, Tom is her entire world too.