We have a real 'sharpe' one here today. I think, more than most, he'll fit nicely in here. That Shaun Allan guy knows him personally so I think I'll have to get along with him. I just hope he doesn't let slip my dogs of war!

So, here you are. Pull up a bolted down chair and have a nice plastic 'glass' of luke warm water. What's your name?

Wayne Sharpe.

Hi Wayne. Good to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. Well, I haven't really, but I feel like I know you already for some reason. Where are you from?

Great Grimsby, UK.

Now there's a place I know. Most of my story is based there. And Shaun's from there too. Not a bad place, regardless of a certain Sacha Baron Cohen film! Do you like living there? If not, where would your favourite place to live be? Is yes, where would you least like to live?

For all it's bad bits yes I do like living here. Although certain films (Sasha Baron Cohen, Boo!) do make people think we Codheads can't possible want to live here.

Exactly. Everywhere has good and bad, even in here, though 'good' is just less 'bad'. Don't you think it's odd that we're called 'Codheads' when fish and chips for us is mainly haddock? Haddockheads doesn't quite roll off the tongue quite so easily. As you're a writer, is this your 'day job'?

I'm afraid not. It is my day obsession though. Professionally I'm a Human logistic coordinator or to put it more succinctly 'Bus driver'

So you're not a Bipedal Transportation Engineer? Hmmm... Bus driver. Remember the N°5? <shudder> So, moving on, tell me about your latest project. Project?

If I'm anything like your friend Shaun Allan, Mr Sin, then it would be projects. I'm currently writing a crime thriller called Behind Their Eyes, all about a tired detective, DCI Pell, who is racing against the clock to find a present day murderer whilst trying to solve a cold case murder from 1978 that his own father failed to solve. Also I have just started to write a young adult story called 'Kid Haverlok and the Oath Breaker'. Who can't resist a story about a teenaged Viking!

And Behind Their Eyes is set in Grimsby too! How come so many bad things end up happening there? Maybe that's the film Grimsby should have been! How do you feel about bacon? A crazy person once said it was the food of the gods. OK, I admit that person was myself...

I can't say the word Bac...droooooool. A Bac....droooool sandwich in my house consists of a rasher covered in brown sauce between two other Rashers. But they don't last long.

Oh, you have to go and spoil it with brown sauce! Wayne! How could you? But, you did redeem yourself with the other two rashers and seem to have a Homer Simpson moment, so I suppose I can let you off... I suppose. Just this once. What is your favourite film?

If there was some sort of radio program where you are stranded on a deserted island where I was told I could watch one last film before being left on said island for the rest of my life, I guess it would have to be the sensational Ridley Scott epic Blade Runner. A dark story of the human condition.

https://youtu.be/KPcZHjKJBnE

Good choice. I really don't know which one either Shaun or I would be able to choose. There's sooooo many! Have you always wanted to be a writer, or is it something you found yourself doing one day?

I have always read addictively since I was a teenager. I even attempted to write a book back then, but soon other more teenage things took my attention away. I have never stopped reading, but I never attempted to write again for a further 23 years. Now I spend my days writing in my head and trying to remember it all until I can get my hands on my Smart phone or Laptop.

Driving people around must drive you mad when you've got an idea burning away. At least, even after so long, you've eventually written that book. Good for you! Do you have so many ideas they dribble out of your nose if you don't get them down, or do you have to hunt around the floor and the back of your sofa to find where your Muse is hiding?

There's snot everywhere with me, I have hankies in my pockets and up my sleeves, I rarely have a dry nose. Just so I don't forget many of my ideas I write a quick synopsis of them and save them on Wattpad as drafts. And then I spend the rest of my time convincing myself not to write twenty books all at the same time.

That's the thing with Wattpad Writer. It's very easy to jot an idea or write a few lines then forget you've got an actual work in progress you really should be finishing! Nice image, by the way. Next time you see Shaun, I'll bet him to introduce you to Mucous Mickey. Kindred spirits, almost. If you were in an asylum, what would your particular delusion or psychosis be?

Have you not read my Wattpad profile Mr Sin? I am married and have six children, what do you mean 'if'? I actually live in Bedlam. My illusion is that I have an overwhelming sense of control whilst I careen through life.

Ah, control, that's definitely an illusion. And I hope you don't 'careen' on your bus! And since Shaun has met your children, I believe I can agree with that! What genre(s) do you write?

Mainly Adventure and Thriller/mystery. But I guess at some point I will make it my bucket list to write in every genre Wattpad can come up with, lol.

That's no small task. You'll need to get a microphone so you can dictate whilst driving and hope Google can understand your Grimsby accent! It'd be one way to entertain your passengers. What genres(s) do you read?

Adventurethrillerfantasyhistoricalactionhorrorscifi, that is just one genre isn't it?

I think so. I'm sure I've seen it in the Wattpad categories list, anywho. You just need a moment to catch your breath after saying it! If these are the same, what attracts you to them. If they're different, why do you think that is?

I read many genres but I love reading something that has as many of them as possible in one piece eg. 'Alien' by Alan Dean Foster which has all the above minus the historical element. Or the tome 'Lord of The Rings' which again has all but the scifi element in it. Why read just one at a time?

Both excellent books. And yes, a cross-genre novel gives you a taste of all things at once. Sort of a tapas bar for the mind! Bacon – just cooked or crispy?

Who the Hell eats just cooked? That's like drinking flat champers or eating stale cake. Help I don't understand the question?

Erm... Good point. I would have said warm beer rather than flat champers but, clearly, you move in different circles to me. You don't see much in the way of anything alcoholic in here, unless you count Dog-breath Dave. He acts like he's had a skinfull all the time. It's due to being dropped on his head. Not as a baby, just last month. Some new therapy thing the orderlies said Connors wanted to try. I'm not so sure myself. You're entering your work into the Wattys for 2016. Watt story (do you see what I did there?) are you entering? Tell us about it!

Yay! #Wattys2016.

I am entering my adventure, historical novel Barkermouth & Bloomdell. A story about Captain Humboldt Granger of the British Empire, who, in 1882AD, finds himself alone in the Egyptian desert thousands of miles from the love of his life, Jessica. He fights his way through many trials and tribulations, through rebel warriors and dark tombs. He attempts to battle his way back to England, past a jealous brother and avoid the hangman's noose, all to reach his love. Does he succeed? Well that would be telling wouldn't it? I guess you will have to read the book whilst you are locked up Mr Sin.

Well, you had me at Egypt and Tombs so I'll have to. I'm pretty sure Shaun is reading it already. I'll borrow it after him. Now you're in the asylum with me, how do you aim to get out? Do you have an escape plan?

Nope, its much quieter in here. I managed to smuggled a pencil in, I'm not telling you how! And there is so much white blank space on the wall's in my cell. I guess once I have finished writing on every square inch of it, only then I may consider escaping, but only then to fetch in more pencils.

Hey, can I join in? At least until they stop us defacing the walls and put your pencil back where you hid it... I hope you don't chew the end...

And, with that, Wayne's wandered off to write on the walls. Try saying that ten times fast after some flat champers! While he's gone, here's a wee bit more on the fella.

I have been around the block for forty-five years and then some. I live with my beautiful wife and six children in the once famous fishing port of Grimsby, UK. I'm an avid reader and have very itchy fingers, so I write a lot. At night I enjoy astronomy. I also like my life to be as easy and as quiet as possible, but I get neither, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Website: https://sites.google.com/site/barkermouthbloomdell/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010627124310

Wattpad: https://aztruyen.top/tac-gia/Wayne_Sharpe

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Bloomdell

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