We have an Arkie with us today. Well, when I say 'we', I mean 'I'. And when I say 'Arkie', I mean 'Arkansawyer'. Or do I mean 'Arkansan?' I'm confused. Yes, I know it doesn't take much.

What's your name?

I go by @rmcneary on Wattpad, but if you get enough drinks in me, I might let you call me Rob.

OK @rmcneary (I'd happily get you a drink but unless you count luke-warm water, you're out of luke! Where are you from?

I'm from a small town in Arkansas (southern United States) that you've never heard of. It's enough to know that I'm country as hell.

(I can say hell, right?)

You just did so I can't really say no. But if you'd thought to ask first, the answer would have been yes anyway. Seeing as you didn't ask, I'm undecided. But you seem nice enough so I'll let you off this once. I'm good like that. Do you like living there? If not, where would your favourite place to live be?

I haven't lived there since high school, but I did like it. I've lived all around the country and world since then. Current location is awesome and undefined.

Undefined? I like the sound of that. And to have lived all over the world is either a dream or because they're after you and keep closing in. Perhaps being in here is a good thing for you. Don't worry, I won't say anything. Is yes, where would you least like to live?

I haven't found a place yet where I didn't enjoy myself.

That's a good thing. Even if you're in Hell, you should at least take the opportunity to toast some marshmallows. As you're a writer, is this your 'day job'?

Hahahahahahahahaaha! Oh, I'm sorry, was that a serious question? No. Not at all. I do stuff that, like my location, is awesome and undefined. Follow me on Twitter if you want to know what. I don't hide what I do, but it isn't something I like to broadcast.

Erm... OK. I will! I'm intrigued! So, tell me about your latest project.

My current series is a multicultural epic high fantasy work titled "The Path of Light and Fire". It follows a group of element wielders who are chosen to defend humanity versus the inhumans known only as the Guan. Some are willing and others not so much.

Sounds a bit like life in here. Except the element weilders are the orderlies wielding the drugs, and we're the 'not so much'. So, in retrospect, it sounds nothing like in here, which is a good thing. Moving on... How do you feel about bacon? A crazy person once said it was the food of the gods. OK, I admit that person was myself...

Crazy? This is a thing I say all the time! Go bacon or go home.

Hell yeah! What is your favourite film?

The Last Dragon. It's super campy and poorly filmed, but I love it all the same. And Sho'nuff might be the greatest, most arrogant villain in cinema history.

https://youtu.be/Z7Crt4S1IZM

I am pretty sure I haven't seen that. We do get movie night in here every week so I might see if I can wangle a look-see. It's either that or Mannequin for the fiftieth time. No, really, fifty times. I could have built the city and knocked it down by now! Have you always wanted to be a writer, or is it something you found yourself doing one day?

I've been writing since I was a kid, and I imagine I'll continue to do so, even if I never earn a dime.

Making money off of it wouldn't be half-bad though.

I guess it would. Shaun's like that. Been writing since forever and wouldn't mind making a few quid. He will keep procrastinating about getting round to writing about me though, so I'm not very sympathetic! Do you have so many ideas they dribble out of your nose if you don't get them down, or do you have to hunt around the floor and the back of your sofa to find where your Muse is hiding?

My Muse is pretty lazy. I have to bribe her with energy drinks and sugar. She'll give me infinite ideas, but she makes me work to flesh them out.

A sugar-addicted muse, eh? Is that an excuse for donuts and chocolate? I can't fault you! Maybe my Muse could follow the example! Or rather Shaun's. I have to borrow his from time to time. If you were in an asylum, what would your particular delusion or psychosis be?

'If' I were in an asylum? I feel like it's only a matter of time. Probably megalomania. I'll either be committed or run a surprise campaign for President.

Well, if you're crazy, you're already up there with the best of them, aren't you? What genre(s) do you write?

All the speculative fiction (Fantasy, Science Fiction, Paranormal, etc.)

Cool. My kind of books. What genres(s) do you read?

Pretty much everything but Romance and Chick-Lit.

Cool. Not my kind of books! If these are the same, what attracts you to them. If they're different, why do you think that is?

Only because I haven't gotten to those other genres yet.

Bacon - just cooked or crispy?

See, you're discriminating against bacon. I thought we were kindred spirits. Now I'm not so sure...

Not at all. I'm giving the choice. It's all good as far as I'm concerned but some people like it to be shown the grill and removed quickly and others like it burnt as a Salem witch. You're entering your work into the Wattys for 2016. Watt story (do you see what I did there?) are you entering? Tell us about it!

I'm entering both books of my "Path of Light and Fire" series: Book 1, 'The Path of Fire' and Book 2, 'Dragon and Phoenix'. It's basically Brandon Sanderson meets Dragon Ball Z, laced with Seven Samurai and garnished heavily with multiculturalism.

Bon appetit.

Quite lightweight with the plot, I see. Haha. Now that seems like a book I can get my teeth into! Much like bacon - enjoyable even after the last bite. Now you're in the asylum with me, how do you aim to get out? Do you have an escape plan?

I like it here. It's quiet and I get three meals a day. Plus the ample orderly likes to sneak in after her shift is over.

Did I say that out loud? Keep that between us so she doesn't get fired.

You do know 'she's' called Dave, don't you? And the meals. I like it when people call them that. Reminds me of that 'food; stuff I've heard so much about.

Well, that was Robert. Erm... Yes. That was Robert. Seems nice. And here, too, is Robert:

I write things. People like them sometimes, sometimes they don't. I love pie. OH MY GOD I'M SO LONELY PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!

Twitter: https://twitter.com/rmcnearyauthor

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Rmcnearyauthor

Wattpad: https://aztruyen.top/tac-gia/rmcneary