On Sawada Tsunayoshi's twelfth birthday, he woke up to a glowing orange screen hovering over his bed.

Naturally, he screeched and fell out of bed, flailing. Ah, Tsuna.

When he finally pulled himself together, heart going a mile a minute, he realized this looked... oddly familiar. The "screen" was still over his bed, but it had swiveled to face him. Tsuna squinted. Was that writing? Yes, yes it was.

You have slept in your bed! HP full | FP full

A little creeped out, Tsuna reached out and tentatively prodded the screen. His fingers went through, but there was resistance, like poking a jelly dessert. He tried to look at the side, but it rotated. When he attempted to reach behind it, it moved back so he touched the front again. Frustrated, the boy stood up and moved closer, but he tripped and fell onto his bed again. He flailed, and must've hit that little [X] in the corner, because the screen abruptly closed as he face-planted in the sheets.

With a grumble, he pushed himself up, falling over again when a new orange window popped into existence right in front of his face holy—

QUEST! Make The Bed
Mama always asks you to make your bed in the morning. You don't usually do it, but it makes her very happy to see you put in the effort.
Reward: Darling-Tsuna made his bed! Mama is so happy! +5 MP, +25 EXP
Failure: Ah, Dame-Tsuna is at it again. More work for Mama. Well, it's nothing new. -1 MP
[Accept] / [Decline]

That... that stung. Tsuna cringed. Even this... this... game mechanic thought he was dame? That wasn't fair. He wasn't dame, he wasn't! Was he? He didn't used to be dame. Back in preschool he was one of the popular kids. Actually, he used to be pretty good at football too. He was one of the more coordinated toddlers, almost alarmingly so. And he spoke pretty well and could even write.

...And then it all changed one day. Out of the blue, he started tripping over his feet, couldn't answer a question if you held a gun to his head, forgot all that advanced vocabulary.

Someone should have noticed that kind of change. Why had no one noticed? Why didn't his teachers realize? More importantly, why didn't his mom?

Tsuna considered it, pressing [Accept] and starting to make his bed because no glowing orange square got to casually call him dame like that. Oh, that's right, the change happened when his dad was at home, that time he brought his boss with him. Mama was probably too excited to notice, and by the time his dad left she had either worked herself into depression or had subconsciously accepted it. Which was an odd coincidence, if you really thought about it, and pretty sad. What kind of terrible family were they?

Ooh, deep analytical thinking! You don't do that often. Maybe you aren't so dame after all. +2 WIS!

What the—?!

Oh hell no. It just insulted him. Again.

When he found the cheat codes to this stupid game that was his life, he was going to abuse the hell out of them. (And there would be cheat codes, or Tsuna was going to trip and someone was going to be "accidentally" pushed off a roof.)

Tucking the last fold of his comforter in, Tsuna called upon all his knowledge of game mechanics. What was that screen players pulled up? The one with all their attributes in numerical format? If stuff this weird was happening, it was totally a viable theory. Of course, normally he'd be freaking out much more than he was... Food for thought.

QUEST COMPLETE!
Mama will be so happy with you! Beware, expectations have been raised. (Future penalties for failing the [Make The Bed] Quest will be more severe.) +5 MP, +25 EXP
+15 EXP (First Completion Bonus)

Blinking rapidly, he closed the screen. The word... it was on the tip of his tongue. Right there. He was halfway into his uniform pants when it sprang into the forefront of his mind.

"Oh, right! Status!" Tsuna hopped in excitement and toppled over backwards, belt around his knees. Another orange screen popped into existence— and wasn't that a weird color, most games had blue windows— with a lot of text. He finished squirming into his pants and started doing up his shirt as he read. Wow, multitasking! (+1 DEX!)

Sawada Tsunayoshi ( 沢田綱吉 )
Potential Vongola Heir (Fourth in Line)
LVL 2 | 43 EXP until LVL 3
HP: 60 | FP: 20
MP: 25
INT: 2 | WIS: 8
STR: 1 | VIT: 3 | DEX: 2 |AGI: 4
LUK: 1
[Skills]
[Inventory]
[Logbook]
[Catalogue]
[Settings]

Tsuna could really only blink at the screen. Talk about information overload. He wasn't even sure what half of those meant. He wasn't much of a gamer, honestly. Manga was much more his style.

He reached out hesitantly and pressed his name.

Name: Sawada Tsunayoshi ( 沢田綱吉 )
Title: Potential Vongola Heir (Fourth in Line)
Age: 12
Overview:
Goes by the name Tsu-kun, to his mother, and Dame-Tsuna, to the general populace of Namimori. A weak, cowardly boy with a hidden spine of steel buried deep, deep down, he has been plagued by bullies since age six, when a seal was placed on his Flames of the Sky by Vongola Nono upon the request of Sawada Iemitsu. He has no self-confidence and no Guardians. He has no knowledge of Vongola, the CEDEF, or his father's real occupation. However, as the wheels of fate begin to turn, a mysterious force called A.U.T.H.O.R. gifts him with a strange power, and leaves him with directions as to its will in the form of a rather unhelpful and insulting [Tutorial]. Good luck, Tsuna, and may faith give you strength.

His jaw dropped.

What the actual—?!

So.

Video game life. He could live with that. He probably would have to live with it. No use fighting the inevitable.

That still did not explain all the random voiceovers and scarily NPC-like behavior from his mother. Or rather, it explained but did not excuse it.

"What the heck?!" Tsuna was left yelling at the ceiling. "Don't go off narrating on your own, I don't need running commentary while I shower! My life isn't some kind of BL manga! And what's with these random skills popping up?!"

Through repeated action, you have created a skill!
Tsukkomi! (PASSIVE)
LVL 1 | 0.0%
The Tsukkomi to A.U.T.H.O.R.'s Boke, you now automatically Tsukkomi to any Boke within range. Including the A.U.T.H.O.R. force. Which is always in range. Have fun looking insane, Crazy-Tsuna!
Current Range: 1 meter

"Really?!" He had thus accumulated Personal Hygiene: Dental, Personal Hygiene: Body, Personal Hygiene: Face, Personal Hygiene: Hands, and Personal Hygiene: Hair. Like, what even? Why have all these common-sense passive skills? And if they had to exist, why not a single generalized one? The PH set only had three levels; he started off at LVL 2. Which wasn't so bad. But he could've done without the double entendres during the acquisition of PH: Body and the incessant mocking, e.g. "Hey, you're half decent at hair care! Look on the bright side, Dame-Tsuna, at least you're not terrible at everything!" A.U.T.H.O.R. had a really insulting sense of humor, which he took offense to, and involuntarily Tsukkomi!-ed.

And his mother. Don't even get him started on his mother.

She began by praising him for making his bed, cooing and fluffing his hair. Tsuna was certain that she had not once entered his room that morning. But he could put that down to Mother's Intuition™. (Or, you know, her wandering in while he showered.)

He could believe that when he turned away for a split second and back, the previously bare table was laden with breakfast food. His mother was incredible, a goddess.

He told her so.

Oh, such a flatterer, Tsu-kun! You're making Mama blush. +1 MP

(What were MP Points? QUEST: Make The Bed had mentioned them too.)

His willing (begging) suspension of disbelief collapsed (almost like the American stock market in 1929) when literal anime sparkles floated around her face while she recited his schedule for the day, reminded him to check his Skills, Inventory, Logbook, and Settings so he was fully informed, and then gave him the option of Take a Sick Day? [Y/N]

[Tsukkomi!]

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MOTHER?!"

So.

Not an ideal morning.

When he offered to help do the dishes (NPC or no she was still his mother) it sparked a whole chain of Quests, some of them timed, including but not limited to: Clean Them Dishes Good!, Vacuum That Mess You Made On The Ceiling, and last but certainly the least appreciated, Make Your Own Bento Or You're Getting None.

Luckily that last one wasn't timed, in fact time froze while he failed epically until he finally got an edible lunch. He gained the skill Basic Cooking Mastery LVL 4 | 83.4% in the process.

It did not start off at level four.

Shudder.

But the food was edible and time was ticking again so he had to grab his food and go, lest he be late to school and have to face the dreaded wrath of the infamous Demon of Namimori and Disciplinary Committee Chairman, known as Hibari Kyouya to the infinitely brave of heart.

Hence, running to school. It kind of sucked, but his VIT (vitality...?) was high compared to some of his other stats, so he supposed it could have been worse. He even got +1 VIT and a mildly impressed snarky comment for all the running, bringing it up to an even four. If he ran all the time he could grind it (grind? Was that the right gamer slang? Could you even grind basic stats?) so he'd have more stamina (that is, if VIT was vitality). He really had to look further into this strange phenomenon.

Ah, but first he would have to survive Hell.

Otherwise known as Namimori Middle School.

Shudder.

A/N: Posting for my late Christmas updating spree! Oh I wish I had more chapters of this, this story is fun and I don't want to post but not finish it... I'll put up mechanics later, at this time I'm still struggling with how I want the formatting.