Looking back in time is strange
Watching while reliving
Remembering the pain
It's not fully gone
Sure
But it was so
R
A
W
Then
It was acid to an already infected wound
Dripping tears that felt like betrayal
And the nothing
The absence of feelings
A comforting blanket of numbness
I don't remember what was worse
Feeling every onslaught
Or nothing at all
And I still don't
Perhaps I never will

1/24/19