She tried the one thing
I was afraid of her doing
I forced it out of her
I hated doing it
I'm sorry I did
But I had to
Yet in the moments she told me
I felt numb
Part of me just wanted to
Comfort her
The other part just wanted
To Reason
To know why
To know how many times
I wasn't there
Endless questions with no answers
I remembered
Every time I laughed with her
Every time she made me smile
Every time she was there for me
And
Each time blocked her out
Each time I was frustrated with her
Now I regret everything
Everything I couldn't understand
Everything I couldn't remember
Everything I wished knew
She got mad at me
Of course most people do
It's normal
Yet whenever she did
I felt like I screwed up more
Than usual
Though maybe
It'll pass

7/4/17