I almost died but she saved me
Even when everything was blurred
She was at the back of my mind
I couldn't do that to her, I couldn't give her more death
Yet I wanted to cease so badly
Not because it would be easier
No, because I wouldn't burden everyone else
Yet she was there immediately
Trying to keep it together while slipping tears
She hated seeing me this way, she hated seeing her own self in me
Maybe that's how she figured how I feel
Every time she ignores her pain and I notice
Every time she says "I'm fine" when I know she's not
Maybe she understood right then how I felt
I cracked bad
I scared myself, never having gone that far
I refused to look at myself
After all I didn't want to look at such a disgusting creature

5/25/17