Human beings always hold onto something. They need it to live on.

When one reason for them to live is taken away from them, most of them just start looking for another.

While some just hold onto the memory of their reason to live. It's just us, human beings.

I'm no different. In fact, I've got more than one reason to live on. I've got a lot to hold onto.

I want those warm hands of my mother to run down my back, every single time I do something to make her proud.

To be squished under my brothers' massive hugs whenever I want to. They've accepted the fact that I'm a cuddle bug.

To be able to witness my father's proud smile whenever I achieve those milestones in my life, that he's always wanted to see me achieve.

To thank my sister for saving my life. To remind her that she too deserves to be loved.

I want to sing, listen to music, dance in my room when I think no one's watching, to go crazy over my ultis, to buy all the things I want and to live my life to the fullest.

I will not lie and say that my life's all sunshine and rainbows.

I too have my bad days. When I get tired of my mum, when I fight with my brothers, when I am done with my father and when I argue with my sis. In short, when I feel life's not worth the living.

But that feeling doesn't last too long when my mum starts joking with my sulky face. *She says I look like a chipmunk* 

When my brothers start trying to cheer me up in their own unique way. *Which, by the way,  is playfully roasting me.* 

When my father playfully teases me when he sees my pout. *My old man teases me like I'm still a 10 year old.* 

When my sister playfully nudges my cheek fat and uses her baby voice to talk to me. *I'll always be her baby, no matter how old I am*

When I compare these small moments and the negativity in my life, I realize something.

I might have a lot of reasons to be sad and depressed but more than that, I have more reasons to smile and look forward to better and better days.

At least that's what I try to do.

I'll get there, someday. 

It's will take time.

I know I'll make it.