I woke up in this body of mine. I forgot that I don't sleep in that old link site. I never got my things back from there. 

I moved with Norm to hell's gate, where I am deciding to spend a little while in this body I was born in. It's the last piece of my mother besides that ring I wear on my Na'vi. She had known for a long time that I wanted to go, so she had one made for me. It was very expensive, but it was out of dad's wallet. She wanted to be where ever I went, so she put her initials on it. I miss her everyday, and I want to be in this body just a little longer. 

I pulled on an Exo pack mask and went into the air lock. It took a lot of strength to open the second door. Even more now because of how weak I've become. I go outside because there's nothing for me inside besides my friends. Norm, and James. 

I said goodbye to James months ago, we used to be roommates and now we are again. There's a door around the corner to the outside. I usually exit through there, I was surprised to see James there too.

"Hey Eo, how are you feeling? You don't look too good." He asked. I gave him a confused look.

"Not to say you don't look good, you do." He said with a smile.

"Thanks, but to be honest, I'm not okay. I have been offered the ability to truly be one of them... and yet I can't do it." I plop down into the mossy ground, "I can't part with part of me. This body is all I have left of my family before here. But I so badly want to be one of them." I gulp down that feeling in my throat and fight the oncoming tears, "Do you think your mother would forgive you for throwing away the body she made?" I bit my lip to stifle the tears.

James came down and sat next to me in the green field of moss and wild plants.

"Do you think your mother would want you to be happy? I do. She knew you were coming here. She knew you'd want to stay." He put his hand on my back. The same place Tsu'tey puts his. I jerk away from his touch.

"Sorry, still on edge. I was shot twice after all." I chuckled it off, "I don't know what I should do." I pressed my wet eyes into my kneecaps, trying hard to conceal it with a smile. I heard large foot-steps from behind us and I knew who it was.

"Is this one bothering you Ean?" I looked up, blinking and squinting the pressure from my eyes. Tsu'tey. 

"No, Tsu'tey, he's my friend, James. I'm surprised you didn't see him when we were escorting the aliens from the planet." Tsu'tey has grown used to this body despite how small it is to him. He thinks I'm adorable and small. 

James gazed up at my former teacher, with a combination of fear and anxiety. 

Tsu'tey ignored him and sat beside us, not too close though. He saw James' fear. 

"It is about the change isn't it?" He gazed down at me. His shadow encased me in a comforting cool. 

"It is. I cannot help it." Sudden realization hits, Tsu'tey knows nothing about my life before pandora.

"I should tell you why later, but now... I am glad to be in good company." I smiled. James settled in comfortably, and we all sat quietly. 

--------------------

It was decided by Mo'at that Norm and a few other Avatars that were willing to learn would be taught by me and Maru. Jake would be doing most of Norm's training. I decided I would teach James. He's been studying what I went through via my logs and we both think he's ready. I linked in early and prepared for the clan's reaction. 

Mo'at hasn't told anyone but Maru, Jake, Tsu'tey and I. Neytiri has known and was the one who brought it up. Other clans have taken in avatars, like the Tayrangi, Olangi, Tipani. They all let people join, and she didn't see why we couldn't do the same. 

I stepped out of the tent I share with Tsu'tey. It was more like two tents right next to each other, but we shared a common space. With me being offered the place of tsahik, but not being mated, was highly unusual. But Tsu'tey insisted that was fine with him. He's too stubborn to see that the clan does not care if their leader is with a tawtute. Or maybe he's waiting for me to make the first move, the transfer. 

I'm not sure I'm ready to let go.

I wore a piece similar to the one Mo'at gave me at the hunt festival so long ago. It was normal for me now, to wear tops like these. The clan saw me as something like and Eykte or a future tsahik since that's what has been decided. 

I roamed the village. The wounded were being healed by modern medicine and the tensions were lowering. All except Artsut. I respect her, but she does not like me at all. She despises the fact that I'll be the Tsahik. Not only that, she thinks I've 'bewitched' her son. I know their are others like that, but she's by far, the most public about it. 

I can't help but feel anxious alone, but anxious near Tsu'tey. The closer we become, the more Artsut voices her distaste for me. I'm afraid she'll try something to hurt what Tsu'tey and I have. I know it's more than friendship, I just don't know how to hold onto him. He's busy and I am too. Especially now with all the injured, displaced, and trauma. 

There's so much between us.

---------------------

Even so, I love him. I know this. He lights a fire deep inside me and I can't help but smile when I see him. I feel so warm when I am near him. It's unspoken, but I know he loves me too. 

I see his love when he talks about the past, when he smiles, when he sees me. When I catch him watching me, when he catches me watching him. In his eyes, I see that love that transcends our physical connection. I am his.