Henry rushed out from the apartment to find Luke with Alex running behind him. "Alex, where is he?" Henry yells frantic trying to find their son but fails miserably especially when they both are out on the streets of New York on that particular busy morning. Alex was surprisingly silence about this and it droves Henry to madness.

"ALEX! Where the hell is he?! How do we find him?! I ca-can't, I don't- fuck!" Henry was trashing around in the middle of the busy street of New York outside of Alex's apartment before he was pulled from the crowd back to the pavement.

"Hen, breathe. Breathe with me. We'll find him. I'll get everyone to find him alright? Just breathe." Alex held his arm locking his eyes into Henry's as they pulled a breath together. "I'm so scared." Henry whispers and Alex nods pulling him into his hug. "I know baby, I know, we'll find him." Alex says with eyes lurking around the area for possible Luke.

"I got an idea." Alex says pulling Henry back inside the apartment headed to the security room.

The moment they reached the security room Alex knocked on the door practically banging it down to open. One of the security guard opened the door in anger revealing Henry and Alex panting his breath in front of him. "Mr Diaz, how can I help." He asks recognizing Alex being one of the good tenant living in this apartment.

"My son is missing. I need to know which way he went." He says and the guard looks quite hesitant to pull out the security video but eventually he nods and let them inside.

He played the video that repeats not long ago and saw from the corridor footage Luke ran off from their house with tears in his eyes. Henry broke in tears when he sees him wiping his face with the sleeves of his pajamas as he leaned against the wall hiding from them. He made a mental note on what color of his shirt he was wearing, his pants and the fact that he is barefoot running down the hallways.

"Alex he can't be running outside, he's not wearing his shoes." Henry pointed but Alex didn't actually agree with him. "Hen he had been through worst than that. I doubt a little barefoot would stop him." He whispered back and Henry gripped his arm tighter feeling the truth in his tone.

Alex leaned trying to get a better view and he gasped. "He didn't go out. He went inside the fire escape stairs and didn't get out. Which means he headed up, he's on the roof." Alex says pulling Henry by his hand that he refused to let go since earlier. "Thank you. I owe you." He says before he headed out with Henry following suit.

The thing with the rooftop is that the elevator doesn't actually takes them there. They need to climb the stairs through the fire escape to reach the rooftop. Alex didn't know exactly how Luke found out about this place and Henry wonders how many times exactly did Luke spend with Alex before he and Luke met.

The steps to the rooftop takes about three flight of stairs due to the penthouse on the first three top floor. The elevator didn't run through here and the penthouse has a private elevators on their own.

As Alex climbed the stairs, he couldn't help noticing Henry falling behind him by the second flight. "Hen maybe you should stay back in the apartment. I don't think it's good for you to-"

"Just shut up and fucking climbed Alex!" Henry cuts him before he could finished and he huffed breathlessly. "Hen, go back to the apartment. I will get Luke." He told him but Henry smacked his hand off as he continued to climb the steps passed by Alex in silence. Alex grunted at Henry's stubbornness shaking his head before he followed behind.

Henry pushed the door of the rooftop in a rush feeling the breeze push past his face after he got out. "Luke!" He screamed his name and Alex reached behind him doing the exact same thing. "Luke where are you?!" Alex yells but silence.

They both split to find their son hiding somewhere on the rooftop. Their mouth refused to stop calling for Luke's name and as Henry turned to one of the air compressor, he stopped when heard whimpering behind the large metal box. "Luke?" He whispered and noticed a couple of bare feet hiding from behind the compressor.

He jumps over the wide metal to see Luke sitting on the dirty ground hugging his knees close to his chest with his face hides behind his folded legs.

"Luke, oh thank God." Henry pulled him into his hug and Luke cries further into his chest. "Luke why did you run off like that?! You know better! What if you got hurt? What if something bad happened to you?! You want daddy and papi to lose you again?" Henry raised voice pushing Luke off from their hug to face him.

"You were ready to leave us! Why bother if I left first!" Luke screamed at Henry's face before he stood abruptly towering over Henry still crouching before him and decides to run again.

"Luke!" Alex pulls him back from running off again and see Henry approached them still panting in his breaths.

"Get off me!" Luke pushed Alex's hands off from his wrist but Alex won't budge. He held Luke's wrist tighter and gripped his upper arm to have more stronghold. "Luke what's gotten into you?" Alex asks angry by his rude gesture.

"Luke! Stop! Let's talk about this. Please." Henry tried to reason and Luke pulled his wrist from Alex's gripped harshly.

"Why bother?! Talking never stop my mum from being killed anyway! You never talked to me about you dying! Why adopt me when you're just gonna leave me at the end?" He pushed Henry by his waist and starts throwing punches over his stomach. Henry saw how Alex tries to stop Luke from punching Henry although it wasn't that hard but the look on Henry's face made Alex grabbed Luke by his waist and pulls them apart.

"ENOUGH!" Alex told him as he trashed in his gripped before Alex puts him down on the ground.

"Luke listen to me! No one is leaving! Why would you think such a thing?" Alex asks and Luke turned his teary eyes to face Alex crouching in front of him. "You think I'm deaf?! You think I didn't hear him telling you that when he dies, you will try to kill yourself for losing him?!" He yells and Alex heard Henry gasped in tears behind him.

"Luke I'm so sorry you heard that." Henry says with a broken voice when Luke shot his head up meeting his gaze sharply. "You're not sorry! You're sorry cause you forgot I was there!" Luke can see how upset Henry got when he told him but he couldn't care less. He survives heartache before and he will make sure he didn't put any any hopes in these two.

"I live my life knowing that everyone will leave me soon enough. I know it's too good to be true. That this life is not meant for me. That I was living in a short dream before everything went back to hell. I don't deserve this. I can feel it in my guts since the day I met you both. I wanted this so much it hurts me that I was afraid to sleep to think that when I wake up, all of these will disappear."

Alex could see the tears running down Luke's face when he told Henry. Later his gaze lowered to Alex's before he pulls Alex's hard grip from his wrist.

"Luke please. Listen to me." Henry crouched next to Alex holding Luke's hand in his before he spoke again. "I'm sorry for everything that you heard. I'm sorry for thinking that you weren't affected by this. I was so caught up in my own stuffs that I forgot about the promises that we made for you." Henry turned his head next to him staring at Alex's face.

"We promised you that we gave you a family that you deserved, love and compassion. We're supposed to show you how love is infinite thing in this world but I was so caught up in my timeline." Henry pressed his lips together before he grabbed Alex's and Luke's hand together.

"From now on, no more talks about impending death or if's and when. We're gonna live our life as we promised each other. Together." Henry says gripping their hands together and Luke had his gaze softened from his anger earlier.

"Luke." Alex called turning his gaze towards him. "I'm so sorry that you heard that. I promised you I will never ever leave you. I know how hard it must been for you. You had a very hard year and we did promise you a new beginning. Please, give us a chance." Alex could see the contemplating look on Luke's face as he held Alex and Henry's hand.

He didn't say anything further except nodding at both of them with a serious look. "Let's go home. You're gonna hurt yourself." Alex says trying to cradle Luke into his arm but he pushed him off. "I can walk myself." He says sternly and walked towards the door of the rooftop with Henry and Alex followed behind him sighing.

.

Luke climbed down the stairs watching as Alex follows behind him and Henry at the top following slowly with his hand gripped over the rails.

He looked up to meet his gaze and Henry could feel the burning gaze in Luke's eyes as he stares at him from the bottom steps. The silence was deadening as they descended the steps carefully.

Alex looked to his side a flight of stairs before him and found Henry holding on to the rails panting his breaths. "Hen?" He asks and Henry raised his palm up for him, "Just catching my breath." He says and Alex nods letting him leaned against the rails before continue to climb down.

By the time he reaches the last steps, Henry still at the top and he turned to pull Luke from leaving, "Wait for your father." He says but the next sound horrified him when he sees Henry tumbled down the stairs and landed just right at the bottom where he and Luke was standing. "Henry!" He screamed rushing to Henry's side with Luke stood frozen in horror.

"Hen, wake up baby. Wake up." He taps Henry's cheek as he cradled his head over his lap. "Luke go get help." He told him and Luke was still standing there staring at Henry's pale face by Alex's lap and his eyes glistened in tears. Henry's not opening his eyes and there's a bruised formed on his cheek with blood seeping out of his temple. "Now Luke!" Alex yells and he rushed out the staircase running towards the closest apartment door and banged until someone finally opened up.

.

Alex hated this feeling inside of him. The constant twisted in his stomach that tugs his chest deep as he worries about Henry. The bounced on his knees taps repeatedly on the floor and he had developed new habit of biting his own fingernails while he wait. Luke sat beside him in silence watching as Alex goes from pacing, to standing, to sitting and gone back to pacing.

It has been almost forty minutes since the paramedics brought Henry into the emergency room and Luke felt the nightmare flashes right before his eyes.

"Alex." Ellen's voice breaks them from their silence and Alex immediately rushed to hug her. "Luke are you alright niño?" Oscar asks hugging him from the chair and he didn't react nor reply. He sat there staring at the floor before him in silence and Alex breath out in stress.

"How is he? What happened? How did he fell down the stairs? What were you guys doing on the freaking roof?" Ellen shot him all these questions and Alex sighed rubbing his temple. "We uhm- we were-" Alex stutters unable to tell Ellen the truth without her having a mental breakdown.

"It was me." Luke says and they all turned their heads at him. "What?" Oscar asks and Luke still didn't lift his gaze at them.

"I ran off to the roof, they chased me there." Luke says sternly with no emotions and it stunts both Ellen and Oscar to see Luke in such state. "Luke are you alright love? You sounded different." Ellen asks and Luke remained his stoic posture staring at the space before him before she turned to Alex for more clearance but Alex couldn't form words to tell her what is going on with his family. His mind is too cluttered over the thought of Henry falling down the stairs. He worries that if he did speak up, he would broke in tears and he didn't want Luke to see him like that.

"Alex." Dr Sylvie's voice pulls them back into the room and Alex gasped at her presence. He was unaware that she had come down here especially for Henry.

"How is he? Is he alright?" He asks and Sylvie nods holding out her palm at him. "They called me soon as they brought Henry in. I didn't expect to hear from them. He broke his arm, they getting it casted as we speak. I did an ECHO just to be sure, his heart is fine, alright. It's just exhaustion. His blood pressure was high again and they thought he stroke out. But luckily the scan was clear only that he had a nasty concussion."

Alex breath out in relief hugging her small body before he hugs his mum again. "They will keep him observed for today and once he's stable enough, they will discharge him after." Sylvie continues and Alex nods thanking her again.

"Go, we'll stay here and look after Luke." She says and Alex nods before he kneeled by Luke's folded legs. "Are you going to be okay?" He asks and Luke didn't bother to look at his face and continues to stare at the empty space before him. "Luke, daddy's alright. He's fine. It's not anyone's fault. He's just exhausted, okay?" He asks palming Luke's hand over his legs but Luke pulled it away and hugged his waist instead.

Alex sighed exhaling his breath at his gesture before he stood and pressed his lips over the top of  Luke's blonde hair. "Stay here." He says and Luke remained seated like a statute only now he leaned against the chair with his gaze staring deep at the pale marble floor. Ellen and Oscar joined his side later still worries that he was silent but know not to question him.

.

Alex could hear the familiar beeping sound coming from Henry's bed as he entered the room. The sight of him lying in bed with his right arm in a cast and his pale face now covered with bruised and old blood stained made Alex broke in tears. "Baby." He whispered leaning his lips over Henry's unaffected temple while his fingers brushed through his blonde hair.

"I thought we promise not to be back here at least for years." He whispered staring at Henry's sleeping face. A streak of tear fell on his cheek when Henry didn't respond with his usual snarky comment and it broke Alex to see him like this. 

He sat beside Henry on the chair for a while before he saw the twitch on his fingers and Alex straightened his back to face him. "Hen?" He called and he could see the fluttering eyelashes before his eyes finally opened. Henry tried to clutched Alex's palm but the cast prevents his fingers to bend forward further before he winced in pain.

"A-lex." He whispered in pain and Alex sat over the bed by his side caging his arm over Henry's waist. "I'm right here baby." Alex whispered stroking his fingers over Henry's free arm to assure him. Henry finally opened his eyes after he adjusted to the light in the room and Alex saw how his eyes lurking around the room looking for something or someone.

"Luke?" He asks and Alex swallowed his throat dryly before he answered. "He's fine. He's with mum and paps." Alex told him and Henry sighed in relief. Alex could see Henry was staring at the ceiling above him before he noticed a single tear fell on his temple. Their hand clasped over Henry's abdomen on top of the blanket while his casted hand rested over the blanket next to him.

"We failed him Alex." Henry whisper and Alex lowered his gaze down on their clasped hand. "We failed him by doing the one thing he most afraid of." Henry continues and Alex returned his gaze at him. "I failed you." Henry turned his gaze back to Alex sitting before him and his eyes starts flooded with tears.

"I promise you a marriage life of no regrets. But yet here I am lying on this inevitable bed like I had never left." He could see the tears formed on Alex's eyes fell on his tanned cheek.

"It's not yours to blame Hen. Things happened." He says but Henry shook his head at him. "That journal. If I hadn't found it, I won't know how much I affected you all these years. I know there's more and you hide it from me. I wanna read it all." Henry said and Alex shook his head at him. "I threw it all out when I got you back. It's just a reminder of my darkest past without you in my life. Why would I needed it now." He told him and Henry clicked his tongue at him.

"Alexander you didn't have a heart to throw the dead plant in your office and said there's hope and now you're telling me you threw every last remainder you had on me away? I don't believe you." Henry says and noticed the smirk on Alex's face grew.

"That plant still could survive Henry." He protest.

"The desert cactus couldn't survive you what makes you think that plant with barely two brown leaves does?" Henry spat and Alex snorted before he breaks into a laugh.

"I love you so much Hen." He whispered leaning his forehead against Henry's before sealing their lips into a kiss.

"I love you more husband." Henry says before pressing more kisses into Alex's lips. Their gaze locked before Alex noticed the sadness in Henry's eyes. "We need to fix things with Luke." he whispered and Alex sighed nodding. "I know." Alex whispered back. 

.

Henry refused for staying over in the hospital after he felt strong enough to leave. He wanted to see Luke and for some reason, Luke refused to see him. He begs Oscar and Ellen to bring him home without seeing Henry and they obeyed knowing how much guilt he had after what happened.

Henry convinced Alex that he is fine and insisted to be discharged as soon as possible and not even bothered to wait for the papers when Alex pushed him out in a wheelchair. If only he could run, he would but his concussion won't even let him stand for more than a minute before he falls back down in dizziness.

They grab a cab back home and Alex told Henry they would be staying at their parents house for now until they returned back to their apartment. Little did he know Henry had other plan for his little family.

"Mhm," Henry grunted in the cab leaning his head to the window side with his hand still clasped over Alex's. "What is it?" Alex asks worried that all of this is a mistake and it's too soon to bring him home. "I'm gonna be sick." He says shutting his eyes at the smell of the cab and his concussion didn't do him any good when the traffic making the driver hits the brake each time it's red.

"Hey buddy if you're gonna vomit, get the hell out of my cab!" The driver heard him and Henry inhaled before he opened the door abruptly in the middle of the traffic stop. He slammed the door leaving Alex behind and Alex turned his gaze sharply at the driver.

"Next time if you want to keep your cab cleaned, don't pick people up from the hospital dumb ass." He tossed the couple of dollars into the small slots and the guy cursed further and Alex refused to stay and find out what he said in his native tongue. He got out and saw Henry already leaning against the street pole and vomited out his guts into the streets.

"You okay?" Alex stroked his back and Henry coughs spitting out the last remaining vomit in his mouth before he nods. "Better. I couldn't stand the smell. I'm sorry." He says and Alex shook his head at him. "For better or for worst baby." He says and Henry smiled weakly.

"Should we get another cab or-" Alex suggested but Henry shook his head.

"We're not far, just few blocks, I can walk, slowly." He says straightening his back and Alex hesitates. "I could carry you." He says and Henry smiles before linking his arm over Alex's and guide him towards his in laws house with a wide smile on his face. "Let's walk."

.

Henry stood before Ellen and Oscar's front door step and stopped. Alex noticed his foot stood frozen on the ground behind him. "You're coming?" He asks and Henry sighed before he sat on the steps instead running his palm over his face.

Alex joined his husband on the steps staring at Henry still had his palm over his face before he rested his arm over Henry's shoulder pulling him into his hug.

"He hates me isn't he. For what I did." Henry asks and Alex hushed him softly. "No baby. He loves you as much as you love him. He was just scared." Alex says and Henry sighed in Alex's arm feeling the warmth radiates from Alex's body spreading through his embrace.

"Let's get some rest. We don't have to see him tonight. You can face him tomorrow." Alex says and Henry nods weakly before Alex pulled him off from the steps.

Henry and Alex entered the house to find it hauntingly silence. But then there were clanking in the kitchen and Henry led Alex guides him there finding Oscar and Ellen preparing some hot food for him. "Darling I was so worried." Ellen approached first wrapping her arm over Henry's and gave him a kiss over his temple before her eyes searched around his face. "Are you alright?" She asks and Henry nods weakly unable to lift his gaze at her.

"Are you hungry Hen? I'm making some cream mushroom soup." Oscar says pouring the soup into a bigger bowl for them and the smell of garlic bread in the oven made Henry's stomach growled. His eyes lurked around the house and the kitchen to see if Luke's around but to his disappointment, he wasn't.

"He hasn't come out from the room since we got back. I checked on him earlier, he was sleeping. I don't want to wake him up." Ellen says noticed how Henry is looking for him. He nods putting his fake smile on his face before he stood from the bar stool, "I think I'm knackered. I'm going to bed. Thank you Oscar for that but I'm not hungry." He says pressing his lips over Alex's temple and headed upstairs into their bedroom.

Alex sighed staring at his parent standing in silence with Oscar pulling out the bread from the oven and placed them on the counter.

"Jesus can he and Luke be anymore alike?" Oscar says cutting the bread on the chopping board. "That's why it hurts him more." Alex whispered leaning his chin over the cool counter and Ellen sighed. "What happened Alex?" She asks and Alex pursed his lips.

"Henry found my journal." He says and Ellen furrows her eyebrow. "I thought you had it locked in safe in the storage." She says and Alex straightened his back facing them standing across the table from him. "I did! It was one that I lost. Henry found it and read it! That freaking bookworm of his!" He grabbed one of the sliced bread before took a bite in anger.

"He read my journal mum. My suicide journal." Alex says and Ellen turned to Oscar by her side pressing her lips together. They remembered exactly which journal Alex was talking about since they both were there when Henry and Alex broke up and how Alex went through many stages in dealing with his lost. 

"He wasn't supposed to read that. But then he got angry cause he fears that if he-" Alex paused.

"When he is gone then I might do the same thing again." Alex whispered the last word and he could feel the burning gaze coming from his parents.

"Then Luke heard both of us arguing about dying and ran off thinking he might need to start living on the streets again. God today is so fucked up!" Alex sighed leaning his elbow over the counter slumping his whole upper body down on the counter.

"Mijo." Oscar starts pulling Alex's gaze back to him over the counter with that ridiculous dark green apron Henry bought him. "Luke and Henry had suffered grief more than we all ever experience. Sometimes it's inevitable to talk about it but that thought won't ever, ever slipped through their minds. The fear of losing someone has embedded inside their mind like a cancer because they watched people they love dies Alex. Multiple times."

Alex eyes glistened over the truth in Oscar's words. "What can I do?" He asks and Oscar turned to face Ellen next to him.

"They both need to cool down first. Healing is a process, not something that you just decides one day when you wake up." Alex sighed hearing Oscar's words and nods weakly before Ellen pushed the bowl of cream mushroom soup in front of him. "Will it disappear though?" He asks twirling the spoon his his hand. "What darling?" Ellen asks.

"That feeling. The one rested right inside my stomach telling me that something is wrong and there is nothing I can do about it." He asks hopeful and Ellen smiled. "No darling, it won't. It will stay there until the end." She says feeling sorry for her son seeing how his shoulder dropped at her words.

.

Henry wanted to knock on Luke's door to check on him but each time he raised his knuckles over the wooden door before him, his body froze. He didn't want him to think he was smothering or hovering like most kids hate and he didn't want Luke to think he couldn't have space to be by himself so instead he sighed headed to his bedroom like he intended to.

Alex came around hours later wrapping his arm over Henry's waist careful on his broken arm and it took him second before his snores escaped from his throat. Henry breathes out in relief feeling Alex's warmth next to him with his face buried deep in Henry's neck before sleep overcome him.

.

He woke up the next morning finding Alex no where next to him and a yawned escaped him. He felt better, less dizzy than yesterday but his body stretched into an ache all over him. Henry stares at the window next to his bed with the soft pillow brushing his cheek as he turned to his side. His hand reached underneath the pillow when he felt a piece of paper crumpling in his palm. 

He pulled out the folded paper confused as he pulled himself up into a sitting position and recognized the cursive lettering on the paper belongs to Luke.

Dad, Paps.

I'm so sorry for doing this to you both but we all knew deep down I would never fit in this family. The idea of having you guys as a parent felt like a dream. The thought on carrying the family name shakes fear in my heart each time I screwed up. Just like yesterday when I finally realized that I don't deserved you both. You deserved a son who's not troubled as me. Who behave in each command, who didn't suffers sleep each night hoping that tomorrow when he wakes up, he's not back at the horrible motel room.

I do hope you forgive me for doing this. But I can't live further in this world knowing how much I hurt you yesterday. I wanna thank you both for saving me from the devil that hides me from the true kindness. But I can never escape from that evil because no matter what I did, it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I love you both so much. So much more that it hurts when I made you cry. I promised you that everything will be alright from now on, as soon as I am gone.

Love, Luke.

"ALEX!" 

Henry screamed clutching on the note in his hand with tears streaming his eyes and he heard thumping down the hallway before Alex stumbled into the room finding Henry in bed with the papers in between his hand.

"He's gone." Henry gave him the letter before he rushed out and headed to Luke's room in hope that all of this is nothing but a dream. But when he saw the empty room with the bed perfectly made like he hasn't slept in, his heart torn into pieces and found Alex standing by the door with the same exact expression on his face matches Henry.

"He's gone." Henry whispered with tears in his eyes and Alex had his chest falls and rises rapidly before Henry fell in his arm wailing in tears. 

A/N: Happy 1 year anniversary RWRB movie. 1 year of me falling in love with writing after devastating Malec lost and here's to more friendship and more family members joined. Thank you for reading.