Henry

The morning Alex left the mansion Henry felt like he was dying. He cried for hours still wrapped himself around Alex's hoodie trying to bury himself in Alex's scent that he left hoping it won't disappear from his memory.

Bea barged in later that morning and saw her brother is a crying mess in bed and she retracted herself from yelling at him. "What did you do?" She asks almost a whisper considered she didn't knew Alex went back with his parents and watched how Henry swallowed his throat dryly. "What I had too." He says before his tears runs freely without he even noticed as he hugged his knees closed to his chest.

"You were happy. Both of you. Why would you destroyed your life like this Hen? You both need each other!" She half yelled at him and Henry kept his gaze to the side unable to face her. "Because I can't let him dropped everything for me and live his life thinking that our family owns him."

Bea's gaze softens after she heard him and sighed rubbing her temple before she stepped closer to Henry side on the bed. She sat herself next to him placing her palm over his folded arms and Henry tears soaking up Alex's hoodie sleeves. "Are you gonna be okay?" She asks, eyes glistened with worry for her brother.

"Not right now." He says sobbing up in a crying mess hiding his face in the crook of his arm before Bea sat closer and wrapped her arm around him.

.

Bea was pacing around her room with Hope sleeping in her crib. She has been fussing all day and cry continuously and she had an idea why. She misses Alex and she was the closest with him since birth. Every morning, Alex would steal her away for breakfast and fed her himself while Bea had her own time getting herself ready.

They would spend hours with each other and that sudden disappearing causing her missing Alex's presence. They all are.

She didn't want to call Phillip on his honeymoon but she was clueless and she needed help for Henry. She feared for what's gonna happen. Henry has been through a lot and she couldn't imagined what would happened to him without Alex by his side helping him through it.

She called Phillip for the third time and his phone still unreachable which she thought would make sense but she's desperate. She was interrupted when Hope starts to wail in cry and she exhaled tiredly. She picked her up from her crib and hushed her softly in her arms.

"I know darling, I miss him too." She says and Hope hiccuped with tears trickling down from her blue eyes. Bea sighs kissing her on her wet cheek before she tried to put her back to sleep.

.

Bea was exhausted by the next few days with Hope a crying mess. She couldn't get her to sleep or even quiet down and she couldn't get Henry out from his room or even to eat. She was helpless and she couldn't get Phillip on the phone to tell him what happened and she was out of her mind in that mansion.

"Madam, maybe I will try to take her to the garden again." Charles offered while she paced around the room holding fussing Hope in her arm while she wailed in her cries. "NO! She didn't want that, she wants Alex! CHRIST! Stop crying Hope! Just fucking STOP crying!" She yelled at Hope in her arm and she wailed louder.

"Oh fuck me!" Bea cursed and carried Hope on her hips before she stormed out from her room leaving Charles looking at her clueless.

She walked angrily through the hallway and headed straight to Henry's and slammed the door opened. He literally jumped from his bed sitting up straight looking at her stomped her way in with crying Hope in her arm and placed her directly in his lap.

"You decided to ruin your life but that doesn't mean you can ruined hers! You take care of this." Bea shoved Hope in his arm and Henry caught her in shocked surprised by her gesture. Hope settles in Henry's lap and noticed the scent of Alex's hoodie when she snuggled her face into Henry's chest and few minutes later, she fell asleep in his arm.

"See? You're not the only one who's miserable Henry. Everyone else does too." She says with her hand clutched on her waist standing right next to him but Henry didn't say anything. His face is swollen and his hair is a mess but he didn't say anything else except holding Hope close to his chest. "Great! One can't stop crying and the other has sworn in silence! Story of my life!" Bea groaned in frustration seeing she won't able to get Henry to say anything else so she left his room in anger slamming the door behind as she leaves.

Henry had Hope slept on his bed and stares at her cute chubby face sleeping soundly besides him. He didn't realized when his tears starts pooling again as he kept staring at her. "I miss him too." He whispered stroking his knuckles over her cheeks. "I'm sorry I took him away from you Hope but we both know he won't stay here forever. I need to let him go. I'm so sorry." He whispered again leaning to kiss Hope on his temple and fell asleep next to her in bed.

.

"Why didn't you call Martha?" Phillip yells after he got back from his honeymoon with Martha. He came back earlier once he got the dozen missed calls from Bea. Unfortunately he came back alone while Martha went back to Spain to settle her work and to pack her stuffs before she moves in to the mansion and spend the rest of her life with her husband. Phillip was supposed to join her back to Spain and spend the remaining days of their honeymoon there but he couldn't leave his family for now and luckily for him, Martha understands his situation better than anyone else.

"Oh sure! You just got married and the first thing I wanted to do is bothering your wife for you little brother depressive symptoms. Sure Pip! Let's drop everything behind and run back to help Henry when he doesn't want to be help!" She yells causing Phillip to look at her like she's a mad woman.

"Sorry, I haven't slept." She apologized and Phillip sighed rubbing his temple. "Why haven't you slept? Did Henry had nightmares again?" He asks and Bea grunted in desperation. "NO! I haven't slept because Hope couldn't sleep and she can only sleep if she's with Alex so I had to leave my daughter with my depressive brother who also heartbroken each time he sees her because the only memory he had of Alex had everything to do with her! Now they both fought for Alex's hoodie and I am losing my mind right now!"

She huffed in her breath and Phillip pulls her into his chest to calm her down. "Okay, okay. I'm here now. I will fix this." Phillip says but Bea pushed him off and wiped her tears away. "You can't. I don't see how you can fix this Pip." Bea sobs wiping her tears before she sat on the couch next to her.

"He will bounced back. No matter what, he will. I will try to talk to him." Phillip says and Bea turned her head towards him. She didn't utter any replies except sighing and clicked her tongue at him.

Phillip entered Henry's room finding it dark and gloomy. He sighed pulling the curtain drapes opened unveiling the beautiful sunny outside and the rays of sun shines into the room revealing Henry in bed asleep underneath all of that thick blanket. He still wears Alex's hooding hugging on his pillow under his chin when his eyes starts fluttering to wake. "Hey buddy." Phillip greeted him sitting himself on his messy bed and Henry sighs longly after he saw his brother.

"When did you come back?" He asks, his voice croaked and Phillip sighs again. "Just now. Martha went back to Spain, she will come home in a week. Wanna talk about this?" He asks pulling the blanket down from his chest revealing him in Alex's hoodie. Henry stares at the ceiling of his bedroom leaving an awkward silence fell between them.

"Why Hen?" Phillip asks the obvious questions since he was left behind.

"I don't want to talk about this right now." Henry pulled the blanket over his head but Phillip pulls back. "You are and I am not leaving without us talking about this." Henry groaned in frustration fighting over the blanket from his brother's strong grip but clearly Phillip was stronger.

"Enough!" Phillip yelled at him and Henry huffed in anger before he decides to leave his bed. "What's your plan then? You send Alex away from your life so you could hide in your room till you crumbled and die?" Henry stopped right before his bathroom door.

"You made the decision on your own terms! You want to blame someone blame yourself!" Phillip yells and Henry turned abruptly.

"NO PIP! I blamed you!" He yelled back and he can see Phillip's face dropped at his tone.

"I blamed you for saving me! I blamed you for making my boyfriend feels like he had to run his tongue on your footsteps each time you walked into the room! Yes! I BLAMED myself for dragging his ass thousands miles away from home away from his sister, his parents because I was that desperate for his love!"

"I blamed myself when he cried alone thinking I don't hear him or know how much he missed his family when he tried to make me feel better! So tell me what I did was wrong. That I was stupid enough to let him go because I wanted him to have a better future. I don't care what you guys thought of me. I'm only thinking what's best for him, even if it means I'm not part of it anymore."

Henry was done with everyone telling him how stupid his decision was to let him go. But truth is, he knows it was the right thing to do. He knows his decision for Alex parting is the best thing he had to do in order for them to have a better future.

"I'm sorry." Phillip whispered causing Henry to shift his gaze back to him looking apologetic at Henry's outburst.

"You were right. I thought finally you would be happy and be better knowing Alex is there helping you and I never seen you so happy Hen. I never seeing you so full of life. So blame me all you want I don't care. I finally got my brother to smile, to eat, to live. For once I was not worried of you going to kill yourself in this room or found your body limped in the bathroom after you cut yourself or overdose. So yeah, I'm sorry but I'm not that sorry."

Henry sighs before he stepped into his bathroom and slammed the door shut leaving Phillip standing there alone. He sighs clenching his jaw tight before he decides to leave Henry's room.

.

"I'm sorry." Henry stepped into Phillip's office days later watching how he had his eyes focused on his laptop in front of him. He hummed ignoring Henry standing before him knowing he didn't want to give him the pleasure of forgiving him just yet.

"I made that choice and I shouldn't being mad at everyone. Not to you especially." He starts and Phillip still had his eyes straight to the screen still not uttering words. "But I need to make a difference in my life starting from now. No more hiding, no more running away." Phillip lifted his gaze from the screen before him and shuts his laptop off before he stood from his desk.

"What you have in mind?" He asks circling around his desk and leaned himself against it with his arm crossed.

"Going back to college. Getting my degree. Using dad's inheritance for something good in my life for once." He states and Phillip couldn't hide his proud smile on his face. "Alright. I'll get the paperwork done." He stood straight turning his body to grab his phone when Henry stopped him.

"N-No. If I wanted to do this right. I want to make it on my own, for Alex. So I can prove to him that I make it in the future with my own effort, not your handout." Phillip smiles closing their gap together before he raised his arm over Henry's shoulder pulling him into his hug.

"I am proud of you Hen." Phillip taps him on his back and he sighed in relief. "Thank you." Henry replies before they both were interrupted by Bea walking in with fussing Hope in her arm. "Hope calls. Here." She handed her to Henry and he carried her in his arm before she starts settling on his shoulder.

"Bea you're gonna start learning how to handle your daughter better without Henry." Phillip warned as Henry took a seat on the couch holding Hope in his arm. "Why?" She asks blindly and Henry looked up to meet her confused gaze. "I'm leaving. Going back to college." Henry says and Bea's jaw dropped at his words.

"WHAT? No! You can't leave- " Phillip cuts her off by pinching her waist and she yelped. She turned her gaze towards him on her side and he raised his eyebrows at her signing her to go along with it.

"I mean, yeah. It's about time you go back to college." She says and huffed in her own struggle next to Phillip watching how Hope settles in Henry's arm. "But I'm gonna ask you to leave the hoodie here for her. I can't have her crying for Alex or you. I'm already going insane with one, I don't need the latter."

Henry smiles before he raised Hope to face him on his lap and she smiles at him. "I'm taking the hoodie but I'm gonna leave Alex's shirt for her." He says and the thought of mentioning Alex's name felt foreign on his tongue.

"I'm gonna need your help though." Henry continued before he raised himself from the couch. "The only way I could do all this is by not thinking about Alex all the time. But I can't do that if everyone's keep mentioning about him every minute of the day." Phillip turned his head to the side to face his sister and couldn't agree more on this. He nods followed by Bea and pressed his lips together. "We promise." He says and Henry nods before taking Hope out from the room leaving both Bea and Phillip standing there watching him leaves.

"Do you think it's a good idea?" She asks and Phillip sighed rubbing his temple shaking his head at her. "I don't know but if that is what he wants, maybe we should go with it." He says and Bea frowned at him.

"Yeah but what if something bad happens to him like the last time? What if someone did something bad to him again? What if-" Bea stopped herself for the inevitable thoughts and Phillip kept his gaze at the door thinking about Henry.

"I'll take care of it." He says and Bea watched how he held his phone close to his ear and starts talking to the person on the other line.

.

"You need to learn how to sleep without this Hope. This scent won't last long. It will disappear soon." Henry whispered as he rocked her to sleep. She fussed in his arm when he pulls away Alex's t-shirt from her and throwing a tantrum fit by jerking her chubby legs and throwing her arms in anger. She stretched her body in Henry's grip almost dropping her but he's used to her pulling this stunt before he shifts her on his hip. 

"Jesus you are a Fox. Stubbornness is in our gene." He whispered and finally gave her the shirt and she held it tight in her fingers. She looked up to meet Henry's gaze and her eyes softens from the earlier tantrum. It's almost as if she could sense Henry's sadness in his eyes especially now she couldn't see the certain person is no longer standing beside him anymore.

Henry stroked her blonde hair that's starts growing out after Bea had it cut a month after her birth and now it's starting to make her look like a girl again. His fingers lingers down to her cheek and she stares at him deeply.

"Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seems the whispers 'I love you'

Bird singing in the sycamore tree

Dream a little a dream of me...

Henry could see Hope let go of Alex's shirt dropping it to the floor and continued to stare at Henry while he sang to her. Her eyes wide in the dimmed room with her spinning ballerina twirling around on the walls in the shadow light while Henry rocked her in his arm.

Say 'night-ie night' and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me..."

Her eyes drifted to sleep and Henry stares at her beautiful face underneath the dim light in her room. He smiled stroking her cheek before his eyes caught a picture frame by her crib next to her music box.

Henry eyes pooled with tears when he saw it was Alex's and him kissing Hope on her cheeks and she smiled her toothy smiled while they both pressed their lips together. He grabbed the photo frame in his hand and stroked his thumb over Alex's side of the picture with his tears cascading down his cheeks.

"I miss you so much babe." He whispered placing the frame back on the table before he placed Hope in her crib. He stares at her sleeping on her back placing Alex's shirt on her side before he left the room and headed to his own.

He was staring into the ceiling of his bedroom on his bed when his phone pinged and he saw a voicemail alert and it was coming in from Alex's number. He sighed knowing he told Alex not to call but he was curious so he pressed on the message and start listening to his broken voice.

Henry listened to Alex's voice breaking in tears and feels his own starts pouring down on his face. He cupped his mouth with his palm muffling his cries when he heard Alex final message to him. Somehow he felt like he lost him all over again and it cuts him deep in his chest.

He listened to that voicemail over and over till he finally fell asleep with his phone in his hand and Alex's voice drifted off into his dreams.

.

"The pictures are here!" Martha yells in happiness after she entered the room finding every members of the Fox family is there. It was days before Henry left for Oxford and Phillip was quite impressed by his acceptance on his own effort.

Martha sat herself down next to Bea on the couch with Phillip and Henry stood behind them and opened the album that contained their wedding photos.

Henry smiled watching them flipping pages and pages of their wedding photos admiring the details of their small wedding ceremony including the flowers, the dining table, their clothes. Henry laughs at the photo of Hope with cakes on her face and feet before his eyes caught at Alex's photos carrying her down the aisle. He tried to put on a brave face letting them think he was fine by distracting himself to see another photos.

"That's a nice one." Phillip pointed at the photo of them with Martha's parents and Alex's parents together and he smiled. From far, people would seem to think that they are one big happy family without knowing how painful it is to get married with no parents by their side or the fact that one of the parent was the actual reason for their son's misery.

Henry's eyes caught at one photo after Martha flipped the page and his breath hitched. It was the photo of him and Alex danced together later that evening before everything went to hell in his life. It was one last happiest time he had with Alex and the way they smiled to the music, the way Alex's smiled showing his dimple and his perfect teeth holding on to Henry as their forehead leaned, he broke in tears.

"Hen?" Phillip could sense him breaking down in tears when he saw him trying to hide it but failed when Phillip stroked his back.

"Sorry." He whispered before he left the room leaving them all staring at him running away in tears. "Are you still sure he's ready for uni?" She asks her brother as he still kept his gaze down at the photo on Martha's lap. "I sure hope so." He whispered back feeling Martha's gripped over his hand on the couch.

.

"Hen?" Phillip called knocking on his bedroom door before he entered finding Henry on the couch hugging his knees close to his chest. Hisses glistened with tears as he stares at the long window ahead of him staring at the beautiful sky.

Phillip sighs longly before he joined Henry on the couch still spacing out in his own thoughts not bothered by Phillip's presence next to him. After a while of silent, Phillip finally broke seeing how Henry barely said anything to him.

"Do I need to be worried when you go back to college?" He asks and Henry could only sighed unable to answer his brother's questions. Later he heard Phillip chuckling in his breath next to him turning his head sharply at him, "What's so funny?" He asks confused.

"Do you remember the last time I sent you off to college, the only thing that worries me was your panic attacks. Then Marion called me saying you fainted, I swore I was almost going to board on plane when she told me not too." Henry turned to face Phillip next to him.

Of course he remembers it, it was the time when everything makes sense and the least of his worry was to be apart from his brother.

"I remembered she got so angry and told me I need to severed the tie between me and you."

"What did you say to her?" Henry asks softly.

"Told her to fuck off and I will protect you however it would take." Henry snorted at his word and smiles his half smiled. He felt him shifted in his seat turning his body to face Henry. His arm spread on the back of Henry's head right above the couch before he spoke again.

"But then I called Alex. He told me that he will look after you." His eyes locked with Henry's and he could see his tears pooling before he diverted his gaze down on the couch. "Which is why when you were-" Phillip paused trying not to say the word to upset Henry further before he continued.

"After Danny and James, he was so guilty about it and refused to leave you alone. No matter how much you pushed him away." He shoved Henry's arm with his elbow and he smiled wiping his tears.

"Alex is your greatest love Hen. I'm proud that you wanted to be a better person for each other. Maybe one day, who knows, maybe you guys would end up fall in love again. Maybe to each other, maybe to someone else, who knows. The future is not set in stones. That is all you need to know." Henry nods letting another tear fell on his cheek before he took a deep inhaled and exhaled longly.

"I respected your decision even though I hate to see how much you both are hurting. But promise me that you will let us help you get through this. Fox sticks together." Phillip taps him on his shoulder and Henry smiled nodding at him. "I promised." He whispered his replies before Phillip pulled him towards his chest and he leaned sighing against him.

.

"Mr Fox, honored to have you here although a little later than anyone else." The student council greeted him after he arrives at Oxford and he smiled shaking his hand. "Pleasure all mine. I have few personal matters that got my way." He says briefly and the student nods, "I heard. I read the article, it was brutal what happened and I'm so sorry you had to endure that sir."

Henry stops mid track with a furrowed eyebrow, "Wait, you guys talked about me?" He asks and the student nods, "It's injustice and they are discussing about it in ethics and law class. There are literally evidence to back you up on that case but their lawyer is manipulative to the point where we wonder whether it's a good thing or a bad thing." Henry sighed contemplating his decision about pursuing his studies here.

"Don't worry sir, there won't be any of those here. You're home and you are safe." He says and Henry inhaled sharply. "Thanks." He says before he followed him to his dorm.

"Welcome to your dorm room, I hope you'll have the best years here." The student wished before he left Henry alone in the room. His eyes lurked around the room finding the old building different than the one in Stanford. There weren't no familiar scent of cinnamon and musk in the air or a pair of worn jeans over the floor for him to trip over. Certainly no certain Mexican boy in bed next to him asleep looking like Adonis in the dark.

He didn't even realized the tears starts pooling again in his eyes and the pain over his chest came back at the memory of Alex and him back in their dorm room. Their time studying, their banter, their constant argue on everything and the tease from Alex making him blushed.

The one that hurts him the most is the sight of Alex himself walking around in his life. Either he's bare naked or half clothes, he didn't mind even if he's fully clothes. Everything that he wears would not make it any different, he would always looks his best. Especially when he fresh out of shower with his curly hair wet and his long eyelashes dripping with water.

He sat himself down on the bed and felt his phone vibrates in his pocket before he pulled out to see Phillip's calling him. He cleared his throat and wiped his tears away even though he knows Phillip won't be able to see it.

"Hello." His voice croaked and he could hear the silence before Philip answered.

"Are you okay?" He asks and Henry's lips trembled at the questions.

"I miss him." He could only mutters and Phillip heard him sniffled his tears through the phone.

"I know it's hard Hen. You can always call him and you guys can stay friends." Phillip suggest but Henry shook his head pressing the phone close to his cheek.

"I can't. It would be distraction for both of us. Plus we promised each other." He adds and Phillip sighed.

"Breathe Hen. Time will help." Henry sniffed his tears away wiping the remaining with his sleeves and exhaled a long breath.

"Thanks for checking in Pip." He says and Phillip says his goodbye over the phone.

Once again Henry was left in the empty room with his luggage waiting to unpack and his books scattered over the table. He took a deep breath inhaling the scent of wet air in the room since it's raining outside and starts unpacking his stuff for the remaining years of his study.