Henry could feel the tension pressing on his head when he's fluttering his eyes to wake. The smell of clean linen and floor detergent felt familiar to him. He recognized the well known sound of his heart monitor beeping steadily and somehow deep inside his heart, a hint of disappointment triggered in him. He exhaled longly before he flutters his eyes open to see he was all alone in the hospital room.

He looked down to see his wrist wrapped around in a white bandage feeling the numb over both of his fingers. He tried to flicker his fingers to see if he still could use his hand but the moment he did, he winced in pain over his wrist. He sighs letting his head pressed over the pillow while he stares at the white ceiling.

His thoughts went to the time when he was alone in the room after he woke up from his nightmare again and again. It's always the same thing, he remembers the house, the lights that flashes from Danny's car. The sound of both of them grunting as they thrusted themselves into him. He couldn't bear to listen to any of those things anymore and he just wanted it to stop. He just wants everything to stop reminding him of that horrid time.

He hated the fact that both Danny and James had ruined their lives while they both get to live their own happily with no consequences of their action. He wanted to scream to the world to let them know what they have done to him. He wanted them to suffer the way he did. But the thought of facing them again made Henry's cowering into the corner of his bedroom.

He trashed most of the things in his room to release all the pain he felt in his heart in hope that physical pain would overcome the mental pain he had to endure for the past days. He remembered looking at himself in the bathroom mirror seeing how miserable he looked compared to the last time he stood there months ago.

He didn't know what gave him strength when he smashed the mirror with his fist and the glass shattered all over the marble sink before him. He felt a stinging pain over his knuckles and runs the wound underneath the water before his eyes caught the piece of glass that shattered.

He didn't know how he got his strength to grab the glass size half of his palm before he sliced it through his wrist and he didn't hesitate to do on the other. He eyed the blood dripped all over the floor before he finally realized what he did.

Henry was interrupted by the sound of the door rattling and shut his eyes tightly not wanting for any of them knew he already woke up. He could hear familiar voice of Shan and Phillip talking to each other in whispers and he knew he wasn't dreaming of Shan before he passed out, he's here - for him.

He heard Phillip told Shan to go home after a while they waited and Henry didn't want to see anyone at the moment, he didn't want to hear how disappointed Phillip is at him. He couldn't bear his heart to see that furrowed eyebrow staring at him like a failure.

After a while Shan left, Phillip stayed next to him and Henry felt his hand stroking his bandaged wrist before he heard a buzzing noise next to him. Phillip stood from Henry side and walked away from him before he answered his phone. He whispered so softly so Henry couldn't hear what he said but he could comprehend few of things he said. He was talking to his fiancé, Martha.

He told her how he couldn't build his life together with her if his family still tethered to him and Henry felt like a knife stabbed him in his heart. He realized that he didn't just ruined his own life, he managed to ruin others along around him, including Alex.

"I don't know."

"I don't know."

Pip repeats and Henry opened his eyes slightly to see him standing by the window with his hand gripping the phone over his ear. He sounded desperate, his voice hinted that he is exhausted and it broke Henry to see him like this.

"I'm sorry." He said again. Henry could feel his sadness from his tone, but he didn't want to let him know that he heard his conversation just yet.

"He was raped." That word hits Henry and no matter how many times he heard that word, he feels like stabbing himself over and over in the pit of his stomach. He hate that word so much. He hated it most since it happens because of his own stupidity and his own naivety. People wanted him to defend himself for what they did to him but none of them asks whether he is part of the blame himself.

"So you can see why I need to be here for him. I can't marry you Mar, I'm sorry."

He ended the call immediately after and Henry knows how heartbroken he is right now. Martha is his love since they both were in school together. He broke things off with her after father's death to take care of Henry and now he broke off his own engagement with her again because of him.

Henry wanted to stop Philip from ruining his life. He hates that he is the reason for this and he wanted to tell Phillip to stop saving him. Henry didn't want to be save, he knew he was already a lost cause but each time he gave up, someone or something would always pulls him back to the world he hates.

He felt Phillip's hand stroking his hair before he kissed him on his forehead. He didn't flinch knowing that it was Phillip but then he heard Phillip whispered next to him, "Just you and me buddy, just you and me." Henry could hear the break in his voice and later the sound of the door opened and closed.

Henry opened his eyes again to see the room is empty leaving him all alone again and tears starts pooling in his eyes. He exhaled tearfully letting the tears fell on his temple as he stares at the door listening to Phillip's commanding voice to the nurse for Henry.

.

Henry was given some medication for him to sleep and by the time he woke up, he could see the bright lights shining his room. He groaned feeling the dryness inside his mouth and throat due to the antidepressant and the sleeping medicine they gave him and he hated how he felt after. The world is quieter, he had no control over his own limbs and bodies. Sometimes he couldn't breathe after taking the medicine and his eyes felt heavier like a weighs hanging down on it.

When he managed to finally opened his eyes, he could see a figure sitting next to him in bed. His visions blurred unable to see clearly who stood next to him but when he finally cleared, he could see Shan smiling next to him. "Hey buddy, welcome back to the world of living." He says and Henry wanted to snort at his attempt to joke but somehow he broke into tears.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. No one blames you Hen. We understand why you did what you did." He tried and Henry raised himself into a sitting position and Shan helped to raised the head higher so he could leaned against it. He sighs wiping his tears before he saw Shan handed him a cup of water and he wanted to grab it only his wrist is not strong enough to grip the cup, it fell on the floor next to his bed. "S-Sorry." He apologized and Shan flicked his wrist at him, "Nonsense Hen. Accidents happened. Here." He handed him another glass with a bended straw inside so Henry could take a sip.

"Where's Pip?" He asks and Shan took a sharp breath before he answered. "He uhm, he's coming. I think he overslept." He says and Henry lowered his gaze down on the blanket over his lap. His finger fiddling with the loose thread before he spoke again. "Why are you here?" He asks and Shan stares at him. "For you." Henry turned his gaze at him and saw the glistened tears in his eyes as he stares at him. "Why?" He asks again.

"Hen, your family will always have a special place in my heart. Your brother hired me in the depths of my lowest point of life and I was broke, he gave me hope and reason to live. When I heard that you are hurt, it pains me that I can't do anything to help." Shan voice broke thinking back at the time when he handed Phillip his resume that barely had any experienced on it. He was merely a boy coming out to the world with only a simple college degree. His family was living in poverty back in India and he came here to London to change his path.

"How do I change mine?" He asks and Shan inhaled sharply before he sat closer. He noticed how Henry scoot a little away from him so he sets boundaries for their gap. "Nothing mate." He says and Henry turned his head sharply at him. His eyebrow furrowed as he waited for Shan to continue.

"In life, there is no such thing as playback. You can't stop and reverse to fix your problem. You endure it, face it with head held strong. Embrace your mistakes as your own experienced and then you fight." Henry eyes glistened at his words. "Dad says that." Henry says softly and Shan smiles his half smiled at him.

"Phillip told me." They both stares into each other and Shan can see Henry is breaking into more tears. "I need you to fight Hen. You are a lot stronger than you think you are. Don't let those bastards ruined you. I know karma will catching up on them soon enough." He says and Henry shook his head at him.

"I can't." Henry simply said before turning his gaze to the other side. "Every where I look all I see is them. I can never see it other way. It's eating me from the inside like a parasite. Tearing myself apart piece by piece. All I wanted to do is end my pain, I could never live normal anymore. What kind of life I would have if all I did is hurting others around me?" He turned his gaze towards Shan next to him and noticed how he is looking down on the floor in front of him.

"Others? What do you mean?" He asks and Henry sighs tiredly and before he could answer, Phillip barged in with a duffle bag in his hand and they both stared at him by the door. "Good morning. How do you feel?" He asks as he placed the bag down on the sides and headed to Henry side.

"I wanna go home." Henry simply said and Phillip exhaled looking at both him and Shan on the other side. "Not yet Hen, they need to examine you." He says but Henry clicked his tongue at him. "I don't care. I'm leaving." He says and starts to tore the blanket off his legs but Phillip stopped him. "Okay, okay. I'll get the doctor then, stay!" He commanded him and Henry sighs leaning back against the bed and crossed his arm over his chest.

.

"Right, I know he's stubborn but please consider therapy. It's good if he can trust someone to talk his feelings too. Otherwise, I might see you both again." The doctor advised him and Shan as Phillip signed the released paper against her advised for Henry and he sighs at her. "I can't promise anything but I can promise I'll try." He says and the doctor nodded at them. She left them standing by Henry's door before Phillip turned to get inside the room. Shan followed behind him and they both saw Henry is already up and dressed.

Henry stood by the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt when he noticed Phillip and Shan walked in. He didn't say anything but he can see the disappointed look on Phillip's face when he walked in. He ignored his presence and continued to button his shirt in difficulty since his wrist is still paining him.

"Here, let me help." Phillip came closer to him and grabbed his shirt to help buttoning it but it caught Henry in surprised when his hand reached for Henry's shirt and he pushed him hard over his chest and shoved him. Phillip fell on the floor behind him in shock and Shan rushed to his side to help him.

"S-Sorry." Henry mumbles feeling pain over his wrist before he sat by the bed. "It's okay Hen, don't worry about it." Phillip says before he stood up from the floor and grabbed the duffle bag for a simple plain shirt and a sweater for him. He handed Henry the shirt and he thanked him softly before he took off the shirt and they both gasped after they saw the bruised over Henry's stomach and back.

The bruised seemed darker and some of it faded a little especially around his lower back. They both couldn't help but stares and especially for Phillip, he had tears pooling over his eyes when he saw the bruised over his brother's body. Henry noticed the stares when he rushed to lower his shirt down. "Let's go." He said grabbing the sweater from Phillip's hand and rushed out from the room.

Shan noticed how Phillip stares at the spot Henry stood earlier still unmoving. He placed his palm over his shoulder and Phillip's inhaled sharply startled at his sudden touch. "You okay?" He asks and Phillip shook his head. His lips trembled and Shan can see a tear fell on his cheek before he wiped it with his palm. "Someone hurt my brother and all I did is nothing." He says and Shan stares at him.

"We are helping him. Just give him some time." He saw how devastated Phillip is right now being helpless in Henry's life. He tried everything to help him but Henry is behaving like he is locked in a box and the only key was held by Henry himself and he is the only person that can get him out.

The ride home was silent and Henry could feel the stares coming from Phillip next to him. Shan drove himself leaving these brothers in the car and told them he would see them both back at home. Henry couldn't help fiddling with the bandage over his wrist feeling his heart races the closer they got home.

The car stops by the front entrance and Henry didn't even wait for the help to open the door for him when he busted out to ran away from Phillip. But Henry wasn't fast enough when Phillip caught up with him. He grabbed Henry by his elbow pulling him back from ascending the stairs but Henry smacked his hand away from his grip.

"Stop. We need to talk." Phillip told him but Henry refused to talk at the moment and he didn't exactly know how to face his brother. "No, we don't." Henry tried to run away from Phillip again but he pulled him back and dragged him towards the foyer not wanting him to fall from the stairs.

"Pip, stop!" Henry yells pulling his arm away from his grip but Phillip held him by his elbow and refused to loose his grip. "Hen listen. You need help. You need to talk to someone about this. I can't have you stayed in that room alone and tried to kill yourself again!" Phillip yells back and Henry couldn't get his grip away and felt his heart racing in his chest.

"I don't want to! Just LEAVE!" He screamed and Henry can see their house helped had gather around the corner witnessing these two brothers fought. "I CAN'T! I can't leave you alone like this! You're my brother! I will dragged you from the depths of hell if I had too!" Phillip raised his voice at Henry seeing how difficult for him to even listen and accept help.

"I DON'T WANT YOU TOO! GO!" Henry yelled back shoving him back on his chest.

"You have a perfect life lining up for you Pip! Dad's company, a future wife and a great future ahead of you! Don't leave all of that for your sick and damaged little brother! Leave this place! Why did you keep coming back to this Hill house?!" Henry yelled back and Phillip was shocked to hear what he just said.

"You are so stupid to leave Martha because of me. What are you looking for here Pip? Nothing is left in this house for you! We stopped being a family the moment dad died! So LEAVE!" Henry shoved him again by his chest and Phillip was taken back by Henry's words. Even though he spoke in anger but there is a truth hidden in his words.

"We still are Henry. No matter what. We are always gonna be a family cause we are bonded by blood." Phillip says softly easing their anger down but Henry shook his head at him. "Blood doesn't make you a family. I surely don't want to be part of this family anymore!" Henry's words seethed through his teeth when he said it and Phillip exhaled longly at him rubbing his palm over his face.

"What you gonna do Hen? Kill yourself again? What good is it gonna get for doing this to yourself?! You're just gonna let them win!" Phillip yells again.

"THEY ALREADY ARE!" Henry screamed. The whole house went silent with Henry and Phillip stood before each other. They both had tears running down their cheeks and somehow so does the helps. They grew up in the house with them and seeing how after all these years, these brothers never fought but today, it hurts them to see them like this.

"Look at me Pip. They already won. They have ruined my life to the point I am no longer care to live. What good will it be for me to fight? Tell me Pip! Why do I need to stay alive for our broken family? The absentee alcoholic mother. An addictive sister that hides away in rehab because she couldn't see herself back in this fucking house!" He yelled back and Phillip was speechless at the point with his lips trembled and his tears won't stop running down on his cheek.

"I just want it to stop. I just want everything to stop - hurting. I can't look at you knowing how I ruined your life. Yours and Martha's." Henry lowered his gaze on the floor feeling his tears runs down his cheek as he did so. Phillip stepped closer and raised his hand over Henry's shoulder. He flinched at the touch but soon relaxed when Phillip held him slower.

"We'll get through this together, as family. Even though I am the only left. You still have me Hen. I am still here and I will never leave you." He whispered and Henry finally looked up to meet his gaze, "No. Everyone will leave eventually. Don't make promises you can't keep. You already promised Martha you both would spend a lifetime together, and yet you broke that promise. What makes your promised to me this time would make any difference?"

Phillip retorts back letting his arms fall on his side with Henry standing right in front of him. "So you're gonna give up? Just like that? Wasting every minute that I spent in helping you! If you're not gonna fight for yourself, fight for me! For Alex!" Phillip yelled and the next thing he knew, Henry collides his fist towards his jaw and he fell to the floor on his side clutching his jaw in his palm.

"HENRY!" A sudden sweet stern voice screamed at the side of the entrance and they both turned their heads at the sound and shocked covered their faces.

"Bea?" Henry and Phillip said at the same time and Phillip already stood up from the floor still clutching his jaw but their eyes still kept at her surprised at her presence. Shan stood by her side staring at them with more depressing look over his face. More surprisingly was not just her presence back in their home, but the fact that she carried her bulging stomach in her hand and they both had their mouth gaped apart staring down at her belly.

"You're pregnant?" Henry asks and she sighs placing her hand over her stomach and smiled. "Yes and that is why I haven't come home. We have a lot to catch up on." She say and both Henry and Phillip stares at each other.

.

"Thank you Charles." Bea says after he handed her a cup of tea and she sips through the jasmine smell. Both Phillip and Henry stares at her from the opposite side of the table before she finally turned her gaze at them. "How far along are you?" Phillip asks and she smiles, "Six months." She replied and Henry kept his silence next to Pip. Shan left them alone for the day since they need some private time alone but Phillip already had hundreds of questions starting with how the hell did he managed to get Bea back here.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you tell me you're pregnant? Who's the father?" Phillip bombarded her with all of those questions and she stares at him with an annoyed look on her face.

"Like you tell me about what happened to Henry? I have to find out from Shan? Henry was raped and no one tell me about this? We have a good lawyer why are we not fighting this?!" Bea raised her voice at them and Henry sighs knowing how Phillip had his death stares burning holes on his face besides him.

"I'm tired." Henry says and stood up but Bea stopped him.

"SIT!" Her stern voice causes Henry to sit back down on the chair feeling annoyed being treated this way. "No, Henry go and rest. We will continue this later. I'm assuming you are staying?" Phillip asks as he stood followed by Henry. "NO! Both of you SIT! If you both wanted to act like a child, then I don't have a problem treating you both like one!" She says angrily towards them before sipping into her tea.

"Bea, I'm really am tired." Henry says and they can see his eyes dropping with his body slumped against the couch and Phillip stood abruptly before grabbing Henry by his elbow. "Come on, let's get you to bed." He says and Bea stares at them with a curious look. "Something happened isn't it?" She asks and Henry sighs turning his head towards her. He raised his sweater sleeves a little exposing the bandage wrist over his both hand and she gasped.

"What did you do?" She asks and Henry could only swallowed at her. He didn't exactly replied but Bea knows exactly what those bandages mean. She couldn't bear her heart to see Henry like this, frail and weak, unable to protect himself from his own feeling.

.

Charles helped Henry settled in his room and Henry thanked him for helping him and he was glad that his room is clean after all the mess he made yesterday. The broken chair and mirror has been replaced thanks to Phillip he assumed.

Henry sat himself on the edge of the bed as his eyes stares at the window before him. He noticed Charles still standing by the door of his bedroom with a worried look on his face. Charles probably looked like a hundred years old by now if anyone sees him. His white hair and beard with his tall build standing guard at Henry's door and his hand held firmly on his side. "What?" Henry asks him confused.

"Please young sir. I can't bear seeing you getting hurt again. I might not know how you felt but I care for you since you were a wee babe. Broke my heart sir to see you like this." Henry can see how broken Charles words and his eyes glistened with tears but he held himself not letting Henry sees him cry.

Henry didn't exactly replied but only turned his head back to the space between him and the tall window. The sky shines brightly into his room, sending warmth to Henry's chilled skin. He heard the door closed behind him and when he looked, Charles had left. Henry turned his gaze to the side of his bed where Phillip had left the phone he purchased him few days ago.

He grabbed the phone and slides the screen unlocked before his thumbs scrolled through the contact list and found only few numbers but the first on the list caught his eyes. Alex.

His heart race when his thumb hovers over the screen. He remembers the pain over his knuckle for punching Phillip's face earlier for mentioning Alex. He didn't know why he was so angry at Phillip for mentioning him. He misses Alex, that's a fact but fighting for him, he never thought he would and his minds wanders back to their kiss.

"Hold on."

Alex's words echoed in his mind and before he knew it, his thumb pressed over the call button and he waited for it to ring.

"Hen?" Alex voice sounds eager, excited probably since it took him only three rings to answer. "Hen, I'm glad you called. I miss you." He says and his voice sounds so desperate, desperate waiting on hope for Henry and he couldn't hide his tears away after he heard him.

"Hen. Is everything alright?" Alex asks and Henry feels like he could sense his emotion from miles apart. "I'm sorry." Henry says before he cuts of their calls and tossed the phone against the wall and it smashed to pieces. Henry eyes are drowning in tears as he laid his side on bed crying himself to sleep.

.

"What the fuck?! You could have tell me what happened Pip!" Bea screamed at her brother after Henry left them both. Phillip sighs pouring himself a drink letting Bea yelling at his side. "I don't know what to do at the time. I couldn't even think!" He replied and Bea sighs rubbing her bellies.

"Who's the father?" He asks changing their conversation and Bea shot him a look. "No one you know." She says and Phillip shook his head at her. "I miss you." He says wrapping his arm around her and hugged her from the side. "I miss you too you arse!" She punched him a little on his side and he jerked.

"Let's ice your jaw before Martha sees it through the People magazine or something." She says tapping him on his chest before she walked around him but she was caught by Phillip's word stopping him from leaving the room.

"It's over." Phillip says earning Bea a sharp turned. "What?" She asks curious at his words. "I ended things with her. I can't leave Henry like this. I don't know how to take care of my own blood, how do you expect me to take care of someone else's daughter?" He took a swift gulped of his drinks before he slammed the glass down on the counter and Bea remained silent.

"Glad to have you back sis." He says pressing his lips over Bea's temple and left her speechless. He left her alone in the room with a clueless look on her face thinking about their broken family and in her mind, she intended to fix them, however long it must take.