[ hundred twenty ]

Present

"Taetae?" Jimin mutters while twisting the door knob outside Taehyung's room. Unfortunately, it is locked so he presses his ear against the door, only to hear sobs coming from the other. He knocks a couple of times, concerned about his best friend but eventually gives up because there's no way the younger will open up the door for him.

"Tae, if you're hungry I'm gonna leave the food I brought in here okay? Please eat dinner. Jin hyung will come home tomorrow and I'm gonna pick him up at the airport. Will you go with me?" He taps his left foot while he patiently waits for a reply. He is about to turn his back and walk towards his room defeatedly but stops when the door opens in a swift movement and Taehyung knocks him out with a tight hug.

"Jiminnie!" The boy wails on his shoulder. Jimin nuzzles his face on the crook of Taehyung's neck as he rubs his back up down to ease whatever Taehyung is feeling.

"Hey I've got you don't worry. Shh. It's okay now. Everything's gonna be alright, hmm? Jin hyung will come home tomorrow and you will never be alone again. We will always be here for you," Jimin whispers as he plants butterfly kisses on Taehyung's messy face. He didn't care about his bestfriend's tear-stained face or how his snot runs down from his nose. He just wants to make the other feel how important he is to him and how he will always be there no matter what.

"Now what I want you to do is that I want you to stop crying and calm down. I need you to wipe your tears, wash your face and eat dinner so we can talk about everything afterwards. Can you do it, Tae?" Taehyung doesn't have any other choice but to agree on whatever Jimin wants him to do because honestly, he's also been growing tired of repeating the same scenario countless times already.

He is already sick of crying and bawling his eyes out. He's already tired from hurting because of the same reason and the same guy over and over again. He wants to take a break, to take his mind off away from every little thing that reminds him of Jeongguk. For every little thing that can hurt him.

After freshening up, Taehyung makes his way towards the living room, looking anywhere for Jimin. He fails to notice the midget inside the kitchen, who is preparing his dinner. When he hears the plates clattering, he sighs in relief because he thought Jimin left him without permission. He sits on the sofa, knees folded against his chest as he waits for the older to come out the kitchen.

"Tae? Dinner's ready," Jimin calls out to him. Taehyung can feel his stomach grumbling but he doesn't understand why he still needs to force himself to eat just because his appetite has been long gone since months ago.

"Tae, I know you're restraining yourself from eating, but please, I don't want you to get sick. Just eat a little," Jimin says frowning, as if he already knows what Taehyung's response might be. The younger can't do anything but to comply to Jimin's request and struts his way towards the kitchen. He settles himself down his seat and looks beside the empty chair.

"What time will Jin hyung arrive tomorrow?" He asks while poking the chicken Jimin placed on his plate. Jimin slaps his hand, telling him to stop playing with his food and eat.

"At around 10 AM I think. Will you go with me? I'll take a month off anyways," he replies which makes Taehyung bite his lips as he tries to stop his tears from falling again. Stupid tears.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers.

"What are you sorry for?"

"For all of this. This is all my fault. Jin hyung has to come home on the spot even though he needs to pass all of his requirements before graduation because of me. You need to take the month off because of me. Jeongguk left because of me. Because I'm a fucking mistake. Because maybe he realized that he can't be happy with me anymore because I can't give him everything. I'm so stupid! I want to die! I want to die! Please let me die!" Taehyung shouts and drops down from his seat. He lays on the kitchen floor, tears streaming down his face. He lets everything out. Every pain, every heartbreak he's feeling... and Jimin can't do a thing but to cry along with his best friend.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to feel all of this. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. Taetae, everyone undergoes pain, everyone can feel depression, anxiety, stress, or whatsoever. But trust me, there are more to life than what you think. Pain will fade, and happiness will take over soon. This is not the end, Tae. This is just the beginning. You still have a long way to go to and things like this will just teach you on how to be strong. I love you, Jin hyung loves you. Please don't think about dying. Please don't," Jimin's lips tremble as he tries suppressing every sob that tends to come out his mouth. He kisses Taehyung's forehead before his hands roam around Taehyung's arms. He stops and holds the other's wrists, and as he flips it, the suppressed sobs come out.

Jimin wails as he stands up and punches the wall close to him. He puts more and more pressure on every punch he releases until he can no longer feel his fist. Blood starts dripping but he doesn't give a fuck. He is about to punch the wall again but arms encircle his waist.

"Chim, stop. Stop it," with shaky hands, he turns around to hold Taehyung's face.

"Why does it have to be you? Why do you have to be in pain like this?"

Taehyung's answer shatters Jimin's heart into pieces.

"Because I'm not worthy to be loved, hyung. Jeongguk said so."