When u thought Daveed cut his hair but it's actually just a hairstyle. Y'all that day, I lost my shit and nearly cried. He's such daddy material though- nO I DIDN'T CALL HIM DADDY HOP OFF MY DICC OKAY?-

Slight trigger warning? Cursing, racial and gay slurs as well as bullying, angst, unstable emotions and a bit jamilton. (im fcking soft for jams istg)

Unedited

.......
"Well, yeah...of course I do. But there's a lot of things about him that I don't understand.."
....

"-hurry up and come already! I'll be a skeleton by time you arrive!"

Alexander laughed lightly into the receiver, clenching his outdated iPhone between his head and shoulder as he tucked his white shirt in the hem of his pants. "I'll be there soon, I'm waiting on my George to pick me up. Plus, I'm still packing."

He examined the stressed black jeans he had debated on wearing to the airport and sighed, shoving his feet into some matching black timberlands. "Okay, but, I'm your boyfriend and you should be able to make time for me, we've been over this Alexander."

"Oof, he called me by my name! I should be terrified! Oh spare me, my wonderful senpai!" Pouting with a wack imitation of an anime girl voice, Alex tied his shoes and sat down on his bed, zipping his carry on bag while carding through his hair with his fingers.

"Alexander Whatever The Fuck Your Middle Name Is Hamilton! If you don't get your carribean island ass to South Carolina right now, I will cut your testicles off and feed it to my pet turtle."

"Speaking of turtle, can I see Nala? You talk about her so much and I've never really seen her," Alexander was now in the main room of his dorm, where his roommate had been watching old episodes of Full House before he left, while Alex sat his carry on by his suitcase.

"Really? You've seen her plenty of times, she's probably in her cave right now though, but I'll still show you anyway." John brushed loose curls out of his face as he walked with a jump in his step over to Nala's tank.

He looked at the turtle who stuck her head out of the cave and seemed to be frowning at him. Maybe she thought John was replacing her with Alex. He could never tell with girls but he was shouldn't feel bad, he wasn't interested in them anyway.

John flipped to his phone camera and snapped a quick picture of the frowning turtle and sent it to Alex. "Do you see her now, Mr. Krabs?" He joked.

Alex was in the middle of searching for some 'things' but managed to take a quick glance at the turtle. "Yeah....I see her."

"She's beautiful. I've had her since I was little," The freckled boy boasted on with a prideful smile.

Alexander sighed when he heard a few knocks on the door and smiled happily. "I'll call you later, John, my George is at the door." Alex let John bid him good bye and a safe travel before hanging up and answering the door, all the while pulling his hair up into a lazy bun.

He smiled as he opened the door but it soon dropped when he saw who it was. Standing there with an uneasy and nervous smile showing off his perfectly whitened teeth, fluffy yet curly hair, and sporting the newest line of Gucci was no other than Alexander's ex boyfriend Thomas.

Alex gasped and stepped forward, but then stepped back, frowning and coming to his senses. "W-why are you here? You know that-"

"I'm here to say goodbye to my second favorite person in the world," Thomas replied with a small smile, stepping in the dorm while Alex's eyes followed his every move.

Alexander crossed his arms over his chest and casted a scowl to the ground, rolling his eyes. "I bet James is your first favorite person in the world."

"Hate to break it to ya, darlin'-" Alexander used to love it when Thomas' accent showed, "-but that spot belongs to my mother whom I love dearly."

Alex rolled his eyes again, this time more playfully as he uncrossed his arms and gave a light smile. "How'd you know I was leaving? I only told a few people."

Thomas closed the door and gave him a 'really nigga' face. "One of those 'few people' was Peggy, and you know she could keep a secret as long as Maria can keep her legs closed." Maria slept with someone every night. Not saying it's a different person each time, though. #NoSlutShamingIn2018

"Aish, I should've known." Alex stood in front of him a bit awkwardly before Thomas spoke up.

"So...why are you leaving?" He seemed a bit concerned or worried which Alex didn't let go by unnoticed.

"I'm just going to visit John-"

"S'at the boy you can't stop talkin' bout?" Alexander found his southern accent calming yet a massive turn on at times.

"Yeah. He's really excited about seeing me.."

Thomas sighed and looked at Alex with a sad yet happiness in his eyes. "I'm glad you've moved on, Alex. It's nice to see you with someone that makes you happy."

Alexander bit his lip and kept a stare at the ground playing with his hands. "Yeah....but Thomas-" he cut himself off with a sigh and closed his eyes to prevent tears that were starting to build. He sometimes hates how he could break down emotionally because of the very made that made him smile and laugh every day.
Made being past tensed.

"Alex," Thomas groaned and inched closer. "Please don't cry."

Before Thomas could say another sentence, the smaller of the two looker up at him with his lip quivering and his nose twitching like a rabbits'. There were already tears rolling down his cheeks and Thomas couldn't help but feel his heart hurt at the sight.

"Thomas I-I... I love you.." he sniffled while wiping the tears messily with the back of his hands, some loose hair sticking to his face.

"Baby, I know...but-" Thomas reached his hand out to carress his cheek but pulled it back when Alex moved away from his touch.

"Alex, we've talked about this so many times before. You know I love James, and you like Josh or whatever the dude's name is." The poofy haired boy sighed with slight irritation and grabbed his hands.

"Look at me, Alexander Hamilton, look at me." Thomas waited until he met the glossy eyes of the boy and smiled sadly despite wanting to hug him and feed him ramen and cupcakes.

"Repeat after me. I don't love Thomas."

Alex shook his head as more tears built up in his eyes and his heart felt like it was being strangled by barbed piano wire. He could feel his body start to tremble slightly and feared an anxiety attack. (Which hadn't happened in a while)

Thomas placed both hands on his shoulders and stares him in the eyes. "I do not love Thomas anymore."

"I-I do not love Thomas..... anymore." Alex wiped more tears with his hands and cried softly. "Thomas I can't--i love you too much a-and-"

"Alex, I hate you."

The carribean boy looked up with eyes full of tears and sobbed out loud, not caring that his neighbors could here. Fuck them anyway. They were always loud so Alex found no shame in role playing as an elephant to piss them off from time to time.

"I hate everything about you. I hate your hair, I hate your clothes, I hate how soft your skin is after you take a shower-" Thomas drawled on, trying not to get emotional as he listed all the things he 'hated' about Alex to his face while he cried his guts out.

"Thomas stop!" He cried but the virginian carried on, hitting sensitive targets like his body, his past, even his adoptive father, which Alex loved very much.

"-i hate how you like to be hugged on all the time, and I hate your unconditional love for old Disney movies." Thomas finished and Alex was a sobbing mess. Not only was he crying, but he was also sweating and wiping snot from his runny nose.

"W-why would y-you say that!?" Thomas pulled him into a hug and let him cry, kissing the top of his head while holding him tightly. He must've held him for a long time because when he readied to let go, Alex was slightly asleep, groaning at being woken up.

"Hey, you're going to miss you flight, sweetheart." Thomas stood up from the couch- (because they had migrated there slowly) and tapped Alex lightly.

"Mhhm...my George will take me to Carolina. He's smart." he muttered quietly, Thomas picking him up on his back along with his bags and moved towards the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see George leaning against the hallway wall with a smile on as he reached to grab Alexander's bag.

"Regardless of you situation with Alexander," George started walking with Thomas down the dorm hallway, keeping his voice steady and calm. "You've always been a respectful young man and I appreciate your effort to help him move on despite his feelings for you." George patted him on the head awkwardly, since Alex was on his back.

"Your welcome, mister Washington. I just hope he's happy with whoever he met in Carolina." They were now outside, standing in front of George's dark blue Subaru.

Thomas was about to wake Alex up but George stopped him as he closed the trunk after putting the bags in. "If you want, you could ride with us to the airport. I don't mind lending you my car while we're gone, I know you're a responsible person." He offered and Thomas looked at Alexander's hair that fell onto his shoulder before looking back at George nodding. "Sure, I'll go."

With a nod, both George and Thomas got into the car, Thomas with the baby koala on his back. He shifted in the seat so that Alex could sit in one by himself but the smaller let out a small and childish sound while sleepily making grabby hands at Thomas.

The virginian, (not George) sighed and buckled his seat belt before letting him lay on his lap. Thomas smiled softly and played with his hair, a thing he knew Alex liked, as George started the way to the airport.
.

.
When the speaker thing (guys I've been on a plane when I was like 3 so I don't really remember) called passengers for the plane to Southern Carolina, Thomas knew he had to say goodbye to the very emotional Alexander Hamilton while they were standing at the boarding gate things.

"Well, it's been nice to see you again Mr. Jefferson, perhaps we should go grab some coffee next time we get the chance, hm?" George tried to lighten the mood a bit. He glanced down at Alex who held his carry on uncomfortably while he also held his head down examining the tiled flooring.

"Definitely. I'll keep that in mind, Mr Washington." Thomas and George shook hands and then the intercom (ayy I got it) called once again for the passengers of the flight to Carolina.

Thomas shifted on his feet for a moment, scratching the back of his head. "Um, you guys should get going, you don't want to miss your flight right?" He tried to get Alex to at least notice him but failed with a sigh. "I'll be going now. Have fun in-" he turned and started to walk away before Alexander grabbed his wrist.

"Wait, Thomas..." He looked between himself and the wrist Alex was holding and frowned slightly. "Yeah?"

"Be safe, okay? A-and be happy. Shower James with as much love as possible and don't treat him wrong. He's so lucky to have you and I thank you for everything you've done for me." Alexander dropped his wrist with a smile and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you, okay? Stay out of trouble, try not to beat up Lee or his gang of hooligans," he joked lightly and Thomas nodded, smiling back brighter.

They broke the hug and Thomas saw Alex's face contort into an upset expression. Like how one's would before they cry. He leaned down to his height and sighed.

"Don't..... don't worry, Tommy. I won't cry this time."

Thomas smirked and pecked his lips. "If you cry before you get on that plane, you owe me Panda Express when you get back."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll by you a dog and I'll name it Soccer."

"I like Sebastian better."

"How about Francisco?"

Alex placed his finger on his chin, pretending to think before grinning despite the tears threatening to fall. "Deal! I've always wanted a Corgi anyway so haha." He joked until George pulled his sleeve.

"We have to go."

He nodded and hugged Thomas one more time before waving goodbye to him, Thomas returning the friendly favor by swinging his arms in the air while cheering and causing attention to them.

Alexander would lie if he said he didn't owe Thomas that Panda Express when he arrived back in New York in a few weeks.

.........

........

"Ugh, Alexander hurry up, we'll be out here all day if you take another picture!" An older male, about his late forties and a bit of greying hair yelled at him in more of a playful banter. Alexander looked up from the yellow jassamine that sprouted beautifully out of the ground and scrunched his face at his adoptive uncle, snapping another picture before standing up.

"Carolina is so pretty, how come we can't stay here forever?" Alexander whined a bit, blocking the sun from his face with the tiny Polaroid camera hanging around his neck.

"Because your pops here ain't got enough money to keep the rent up," Butler, George's step brother and the one who yelled at Alex earlier chuckled with a slight wheeze of wind behind it.

George rolled his eyes and continued walking, Alex walking behind him like a little duck to it's mama.

If he was correct, they were currently at a garden in the south east part of Carolina. Far from John...Alex pouted as he carefully walked in George's foot steps, a thing he picked up when he was younger. (When it snowed, he and George would go to town and go sightseeing, Alex would walk in his snow foot prints to avoid getting snow in his shoes and getting his feet cold.)

The garden was beautiful, the weather even more beautiful as they walked through the walls of bushes and flowers. Alex wondered if there were any poisonous ones. He could finally get rid of that ass snap, Charles Lee.

"So," Alexander lifted his head at the sound of his uncle speaking once again. "You have any lady friends?"

The question was obviously more directed to Alexander than George, for George was married for more than fifteen years.

"Uh," Alex looked to Washington who was too busy admiring the flower bushes to pay him any attention.

"Yeah, I have tons of lady friends. Too many, actually." He laughed, a bit uncomfortable as he walked behind his father figure. It wasn't a lie, he and the sisters were close, as well as a few of Thomas' exes.

Butler smirked and slowed his pace so that he was walking beside Alex while George and the others stayed in front of them. "Did you deflower any of 'em"?

"Hm?"

"Deflower. Did you lose your virginity yet? A boy your age should have lost it already. My sons are all married and they're nothing but a few years your prime." Uncle Butler tapped Alex on the shoulder and barked out a laugh.

"Well actually-"

"Hey George? How're you raisin' him? Got this dude over here lookin' like a twink." Butler wheezed out yet another laugh and slapped the back of Alex's back playfully yet Alexander winced from being hit too hard.

George rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time today and looked back at the two, missing Alexander's eyes pleading for help. "I think I'm raising him just fine, Butler. 'Should ask if you're raising your sons right. Ryde seems to drool over every vixen that walks by, not to mention Tobby's habit of sleeping with multiple people at the same time each night." The two older men shared a laugh which Alexander easily got annoyed by. Butler's laughter was the equivalent of a worn out air horn.

"But in all seriousness though," the man of subject wiped little tears from his eyes and glanced at Alex before forwarding his attention to George once again. "Ain't skinny jeans for girls? And what's with the shirt, Supernatural? The boy likes those handsome white men so much he bought a damn t-shirt?"

"Guys can wear jeans. Nothing's wrong with that. He can watch whatever show he wants, he's a grown man, not a nine year old. And for your information Butler, I bought that shirt for him and I'd like it if you'd stop nit picking my son." Alexander admired how calm yet vicious George had said it. He could almost see the venom dripping off his lips from spitting some poison like that.

"Funny you say that, George, because without those documents and green card, the kid can't even qualify as your son. Let alone a legal immigrant-"

"Mother fucker!" George turned back quickly to see Alexander launch at Butler, punching him in the nose before he snatched him by his collar and yanked him back, his scream causing the attention of the rest of the family.

"Butler!" Mariam, Butler's wife, cried as she ran to her husband and gasped as she saw blood starting to run from his nose. She looked back at George who was struggling to keep Alexander back. His arms aren't what they used to be.

"Son of a bitch, you better not ever say some shit like that again! I fucking swear I'll hurt you!" Alex kicked and screamed in George's embrace, also causing the attention of other people in the community garden.

"Sam!" George called his other brother, Samuel Washington, to help him keep Alex away while it seemed like his motivation to punch Butler only intensified. Samuel, who was much more built than Washington, threw Alexander over his shoulder and walked towards a bench away from Butler.

"George, you need to learn how to control your damn dog!" Butler huffed, letting his wife clean up his bloody nose with a tissue.

"He's not a dog. He's a human and I wouldn't have to control him if people like you treated him like one." Once again, George responded not by yelling, but by a calm and poisonous atmosphere.

"This is why he shouldn't have ever adopted that thing. It's already bad enough he's in our family name. The least he could do is not ruin it," George over heard some of the commotion going on between his neices and nephews and sighed tiredly.

He snatched Alex's phone off of the ground just as security arrived and went to explain what had happened. After a while, he went to go visit Alex who sat on the bench feeling trapped by the people surrounding him.

This kid will be the death of me... George mentally groaned as he approached yet another scene caused by his son and frowned.

"Oh, his father is here now. George, what's wrong with him?" Betty, one out of two of George's sister's forced a smile despite being really worried for her nephew.

"What happened?"

"He's hyperventilating. Does he have asthma?" George forgot that Charles and Betty were practically sewn by the hip. Wherever one went, so did the other.

"No, back up, you're all crowding him so if course he's going to feel overwhelmed." George grabbed Alexander's hand, the younger instinctively latching on as well as he led him out of the garden and to a trail which was another special feature the South Carolinian park had to offer.

Alexander waited until George found a nice and quiet place to talk before he spoke. "I told you I didn't want to come here," he muttered, his breathing having slowed down a bit.

George looked at the scenery, exhausted. He watched as birds and squirrels had fun in the trees and envied it, feeling jealous that he couldn't be up there cruising. He'd picture himself as a blue jay, laying in the trees as the wind blew, sitting up at the tree top with the daily newspaper, sipping dark roasted New York coffee while watching his grandchildren birdies play around. He'd be content with that way of life and wouldn't mind living like that alongside Martha. Maybe that's why George always valued nature.

"I know. But my family misses us."

"I didn't want to fuckin' come here but you made me and now I have to deal with this bullshit," Alexander wiped his face from small tears of anger whilst not looking in the direction in which George was standing.

"Don't curse at me." George stayed modest, calmly observing two squirrels who were fighting.

Alexander scoffed and kicked a rock, "Why does it fucking matter? I'm not your real son anyway, you can't tell me what to fucking do." He picked up the rock he kicked and looked for a bird to throw it at.

George crossed his arms over his chest and as much as he really wanted to smash the kid into the ground, he kept his peace. "I understand that you're upset, I would be too, but you have to respect them regardless of how they treat you."

"Why should I? T-they don't treat me with respect with their racist asses. All they ever do is ask why you couldn't adopt someone who looked more like you. Like fucking hell if I'd respect an ass as big as those mother fuckers-"

"Alex," George reminded sternly. He wasn't fond of cursing and this was something Alexander knew.

"Why can't I just go back home? Oh wait, it's destroyed. I c-can't ever go visit my mother's grave all because of some damn hurricane that fucked up everything! And they have the audacity to tell me to 'go back to my country'? Of fucking course I'm going to be offended. Especially that dick faced ass bitch, Butler!"

"You don't have to talk about my family like that, Alexander. I know they're flawed, we all are. That doesn't mean they can't change." George turned to Alexander who was busy trying to chop down an oak tree with the rock he had, repeatedly stabbing it into the bark.

"George, do you even care that he insulted both you and me? And it's not like he's wrong, without those papers, I'd be on the next plane back to 'Mexico'. Because 'that's where all hispanics come from'." His sarcasm caused George to sigh again. He walked up to Alex and stopped his had from chucking at the tree.

"The tree did nothing to you."

"Who the hell are you? The Lorax?"

"Alexander."

The boy shut his mouth and played with the rock in his hands. "I wish I could just die. I don't want to be here."

Now this caused George to frown and he insisted on going with the easiest response to the comment. "You're just saying that because you're upset."

"Y-you know how many times I've tried to die? All angst aside, I legitimately want to die." He took notice on his breathing pace picking up again and didn't bother on hugging him or something. Usually when Alex gets like this, he just leaves him alone but never actually leave him.

"Calm down. You don't want to die because if you did, who would get that degree you've worked so hard for? Who'd meet up with that John boy next week? Who'd be getting off the plane to see Thomas waving at them?" George looked at him while he spotted a bird to throw the rock at, despite the tears in his eyes and the uncontrollable breathing.

"I won't die but I feel like I want to. It's confusing, okay?" He huffed, trying to keep his voice strong.

This reminded George of Alexander's teen years when he was all angsty and a little brat from time to time. He gave a small smile and nodded but it soon dropped when he saw Alex throw the rock in his hands at a brown mockingbird in a tree. The bird flapped it's wings, startled, and flew away.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because birds are stupid."

"It's a sin to hurt a bird because all they do is sing their hearts out and you just have to go and hit them with a rock." Alexander knew the qoute from a book he read in highschool. To Kill A Mockingbird, he thinks.

Alex punched the tree.

And he punched it again.

And again.

And again-

"Son, what are you doing?"

"I'm not your fucking son, George. So stop calling me that." Another punch to the tree.

"Alexander shut your mouth, okay? Here, that one boy is calling you," George practically shoved his phone in Alex's face, annoyed with the cursing and bad mouthing.

Baby boy johnny 😷💕 is calling...

Alexander answered the phone quickly, clearing his throat and wiping the unnecessary anger tears that had fallen, ignoring the pain in his fists as he answered the call.

"H-hello?"

"Alex?" The boy almost completely froze his anger at the sound of John's happy sounding voice. It almost made him smile, despite glancing at his now bleeding knuckles. George took a napkin from his pocket and crouched down to pat his fingers with, the boy hissing from the pain as he muttered something along the lines of 'you're such a prick..'

"I'm here John, what do you want?"

"Oh my gosh! Alex, guess what!" John had to catch himself from tripping on the sidewalk he was walking on, muttering a sorry to the lady he bumped into and cooing at her german terrier mix that seemed to be glued in her purse and staring at him like the snack™ he was.

"What?" Believe it or not, George picked Alexander up on his back for a piggyback ride.

Hamilton could pretend to hate the father figure he had, however he could not pretend to not love him for the things he did for him. He kind of expected the older to care for his hands because George was soft for him.

And that was fine because Alex liked having power over men, even his own George.

"I just found a twenty dollar bill, I got free bubble tea, I just won a raffle for dog products at the state library, and the weather is nice! Life is great, right?"

Alex heard George stiffle a laugh from under him and he tightened his grip around the latter's neck, just a friendly reminder that he could break his neck just as fast as his dad could break a condom. (Hence why he was on this Earth today.)

"Yeah, sure." He bit his bottom lip while cursing mentally at himself when he noticed John being quiet.

"Lex?" Hm, that was new. Alex noted that in the back of his mind. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine John, I'm jolly, I'm fucking perfectly fine-" George pinched him on his leg, having access to do so from carrying him. "Just because you're mad at the world, doesn't mean you have to treat him cruelly, you ass snap."

I can say whatever the hell I want...yet if that were the case, Alex wouldn't have said it in his head.

"Alex?" John had stopped at a bus stop and sat on the bench provided in the spot, eyebrows furrowing tightly together as a look of concern flew over him. "Are you sure?"

When they started to reach a more open area, George set Alex down so that people wouldn't see a twenty year old man getting a piggyback ride from his George. The younger silently whines but nonetheless followed through, his ear pressed against the screen of his phone.

"Actually, uh, I'm just having trouble with my George's family is all. They can be quite asshole-ish from time to time." He received a looked from the older male that made him avert his eyes, for if he would've looked into those eyes, he would've been in hell by now.

"Oh. They're not homophobic....are they?"

"Homophobic, racist, kink shammers, idiots, abominations to man kind, ungrateful ass-"

He got smacked in the back of the head by George.

John's voice was small, however, not full of the hurt or somewhat sadness Alexander's carried. "Oh," the freckled boy tutted his bottom lip out in an upset manner and sighed.

"Well...you know you can talk to me. Like, i-if you need a hug or something. I'm here. That's what a boyfriend is supposed to do right?" John was genuinely confused. After all, this was his second week at being a boyfriend so he only hoped to be able to get those things right for Alex. He was practically married to the thought of pampering him like the daddy he is.

"I know, Jacky." A nick name John had introduced to him. A nick name John's mother gave to him before she passed.

"And.....daddy?"

Alexander ran into a tree, stumbling back while trying to process what he had just heard. John Laurens, John Anthony Laurens called him 'daddy' without him forcing him to say it. Alex was shooked. Not shook or shocked, but shooked. Perhaps, shooketh.

"D-did you just-?"

"Daddy..."

No. No no no no no, nO! This was not okay! John was playing four square on the devil's playground, and he was just about to hit the ground. Those five intimidating letters, those two syllables, those two vowels, were dangerous enough.

"Stay safe, don't forget that I love you, tell your George I said hi, and I'll be waiting your arrival, byee~!" John sung quickly and ended the call, his face was burning and he was red as ever but it was totally worth.

Alex knew one thing for sure...

He would surely praise him later.

.........
"There was a lot of things I never understood about you but that's just how life is.."
.........

⚠️⚠️⚠️
Next chapter is finna be wild