In this chapter, I'm going to address the biggest problem in my life.

I'm at a standstill in my relationship with God.

For weeks, I don't believe I've grown spiritually. For weeks I haven't truly followed God or spent time with Him.

I can't focus on God during school, since I'm busy with schoolwork, taking notes, the usual. I can't focus on God after school because I'm an escapist, or because I'm with friends, or with family, doing homework, etc.

These factors form a wall that separates me from God. I can't break through it myself. God can break through it easily, yet He requires me to ask Him to break it. Yet the wall prevents me from asking God for help. It's like a circular cycle.

In addition, I've developed some serious self-hatred towards myself. I really hate myself, since I am the sole factor that harms my relationship with God. I push away the things that can benefit me. I am weak, and I hate myself for it.

Overall, I don't really know what to do.