1/27/16 1:38
You think i have stopped cutting
Because i tell you i have
And you believe me every time
But sometimes as much as i try to hide it, i wish you would look me in the eye and say
I know you haven't stopped
I know you are lying
Please let me help you get through this
I know you can because everything is going to be okay.
But no, you never notice
I don't know how you don't because i wear sweaters every freaking day.
Yes I guess it is winter right now and you wear sweaters to keep warm
But not when the fire is burning, warming the household till the glass on the windows and mirrors are steaming up
And especially not when two years ago i would wear a t-shirt and shorts in the winter months, when we didn't even have a fire then.

Why can't you just say to me Can i see your arms?
If i say no, you will know i am lying and you'll force me to show you or maybe I'll even show you without you even asking again because i give up of trying to hide it and realise i can't bottle it up again, like i did before.
It will only get worse if i did and then may even result into suicide
And to be quite honest, as much as i hate life right now
I don't want to die
-KJx