7/2/16  11:03pm
I miss you
Like crazy.
I wish you loved me more than you did her because
Just maybe
Just maybe
you might have still been alive today.
I loved you more than I let on, you know?
I regret so many things.
I should've  tried harder
to not let you sink any deeper than you already had.
I didn't even go to your funeral for goodness sake.
I didn't say goodbye to you properly like i should've because
your parents didn't know that I knew you, nobody knew except the girl you loved way too much. I don't know where she is right now.

The night before you committed ___
I hugged you like i'd never hugged you before and whispered "Stay strong, I love you so much"
That night I worried about you so much.
I wanted  to stay with you because for some reason I thought this time, you had reached your limit and had sunk too far down to be saved.
You seemed different that night than you had the other times,
You were quieter and you just kept looking me.
And come to think of it now, I think you were saying to me "I have to leave this world, I can't carry on, if she doesn't love me."
But at the time I think I knew that but  I just didn't want to believe it.
I couldn't stay with you though and you knew that too.
Why did we just meet in the park?
Why didn't we go to each other's houses?
Things would've been different then, maybe...
Because then your parents would have know me and yeah.

We said we would meet in the normal place that day, at the same time.
When I got there, you weren't there. Instead I found a note from you saying you were leaving the world because you couldn't cope anymore. You couldn't carry on. You thanked me for everything I did but it just wasn't enough. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry you couldn't get through what was going on.

I miss you so much.
I'm never ever going to forget you.
You'll always be remembered by me.
I'll see you again, one day.
I love you so much
why i finally decided to talk about this, I don't actually know because it's hurting even more now im talking about it than when I kept it to myself. I just don't know. Just memories and stuff here, sorry if it's a mess and all over the place.