7/7/16
I keep thinking of you
I can't get you out of my mind
Fuxk, I miss you so much
You're gone,
For now;
Till the day I join you, that is.

Sometimes I wish I could see the person that you would've become today. It would've been nice to see how you would've changed in the last 4 years. You'd be a stronger person, i'm sure of it. Hehe, I wonder if you would've liked the same music as me and liked anime and obsessed  over L in Death Note like the way I do.

I love you and I hope you're much happier, wherever you are because after all you've been through you deserve to be happy.
-KJx

*Trigger Warning*
Another night I jolt awake,
Trying my hardest to muffle the screams (that desperately want to escape my lips) so nobody can here me suffering.
Another night terror
Four in a row now.
I see him on the park,
Just how he was the last time I saw him ; the very last time I saw him,
Staring at me with his piercing blue eyes trying so hard not to cry. I hug him so tight, (just like i did that night) not wanting to leave him,
petrified that it might be the night he chooses to disappear.
I see him walk home and walk into the living room where his parents are and he says goodnight to them, hugging them tight and whispering 'I love you' for the last time, unbeknownst to them.
He slowly walks up the stairs and opens the door to his open bedroom and sits on his bed for a few minutes, just thinking ,before he reaches for the rope under his bed and ties it to the hook in the middle of one of the walls, tying a loop at the end of rope, standing on his bed and slipping his neck into it, rocking backwards and forwards letting himself enter a more tranquil place that what his real life was.
I'm so sorry for this guys. I just had to let it out.  I really hope these don't keep happening to me because they're just horrible. I love you all so much <3