so, this will be the longest chapter (so far) in insecurities. and so sorry for not updating in so long, i've been really busy and i hate writers block. ugh.

anyways !!! a quick thank you for +180k reads! that's incredible and i love you all so much. 💜

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my cheeks are red by this time and i'm trying to avoid mark's gaze. he giggles at my action and takes his advantage by planting a kiss on my heated cheek.

"so, i get to pick where we go?" i ask, unsure of what mark wants me to do.

he nods his heads before speaking, "mhm, and after we go do whatever you like, i was going to take you out to a restaurant." he smiles, making his eyes crinkle in the corners.

"oh okay... anywhere i like?"

he nods once more and i think of any places to go to. my head is so full of thoughts at the moment that i can't even think of a place to go.

"i-i'm sorry, i don't know," i say sadly, looking into mark's eyes which show joy.

"that's alright, i already had some place in mind," he smiles brightly and it makes me feel better.

we soon start to head out, mark kisses his mother goodbye before grabbing my hand and walking us out to his mom's car.

once getting through the cold, crips air and into the small car, we take a moment to sit there, letting the hot air coming from the vents warm our chilled bodies.

"i didn't know you drove?" i speak up, holding my hands closer to the vents.

"yeah, i just don't have a car and i hate to use my mom's for my personal use," he chuckles.

"that's thoughtful. would make getting home easier though," i joke, raising my eyebrows and laughing.

"can't get lazy on me now, jack," he jokes back.

"but isn't my life dream suppose to be to stay inside all day and gain 300 pounds?"

"nope, it's to fall madly in love with me." he smiles as he looks over at me.

i look away to hide my forming grin. "then it's close to being accomplished."

i can see him looking at me from the corner of my eyes and it makes my chest feel heavy. the tension feels heavier, but it breaks when i hear the car starting.

it doesn't take long for us to arrive at wherever place mark had planned us to go. the drive there made me giddy inside when mark kept putting his hand upon my knee then lingering it up to my thigh. it was hard for me not to smile or feel affected, but i tried my best.

when pulling up into the parking lot, i look out my window to see the building's sign reading, 'arcade'. my eyes beam with ecstatic.

"the-the arcade? you took me to the arcade?" i say in shock, still staring up at the building.

"i did. i just remembered you gushing about how much you loved coming here. do you... not like it?" i hear the worry in voice.

"i love it! of course i love it. i'm just... lost for words." i explain it the best i could before looking over to him. he smiles at me then opens his door. he walks around the car after closing his door to open mine. i awe at his action then proceed to get out of the car.

"the place is open till 8:00 i believe. it's 6:30 now, i think that's enough time?"

"that's perfect." i smile up at him, which earns me one in return.

we walk inside together, both of us mesmerized by the sights and sounds. it was bringing back memories from sneaking out just to come here and forget about everything, give me some type of happiness to fill that empty void.

but now, as i think about it, i don't have to worry about being hit, feeling lonely, trying to find that place or world that i belong in. i sigh with content as we both walk to the front to grab our tokens and begin our official date.

the past hour and a half that was spent felt amazing and i couldn't have pictured it any other way. mark would start laughing at me every time i messed up at a game, but then cheered me up by comforting. it was different from anything i had experienced, this weird feeling lingered in me and i couldn't describe it and it bothered me.

i feel mark's hand brush against mine as we walk out the building and i take it into my hand, loving the feeling of them against my skin. he smiles warmly at me and i see the coat of red tinting his cheeks only noticeable to me.

mark walks us over to his car and opens the passenger door for me. i shyly thank him and scurry inside the cold car. mark shuts my door and rushes around to get to the driver side and turn on the car. once inside, he sticks the key in the ignition, letting the car sit for a few to warm up.

"you didn't have to rush, i'm pretty cold blooded. i can deal with the cold. i am the one who was born in ireland," i say, crossing my arms, trying to hide the fact that i am freezing my ass off.

"oh really? well i'll just turn off the air and ignore the fact that you are physically shaking," he says, reaching over to turn it off.

"oh, no, you don't have to do that." i reach and grab his moving hand, setting it on my knee and patting it lightly.

he looks over at me before giggling and using his other hand to steer the car out of the parking lot.

"sooo, this restaurant? is it fancy? will i look poor compared to you?" i say, my gaze focused on the sun setting in the distance.

"oh, no. trust me, i wish i had the money to take you out somewhere nice, but sadly, i am the poor one."

"i guess that makes two poor people in the relationship." i laugh which causes mark to laugh along.

"hmm, have i already earned the 'relationship' title? i feel proud," he jokes, turning his head quickly at me to show his smug look.

"well, you are taking me out on a date, what else would i call this?"

"friends?"

"i sucked your dick, mark," i say bluntly, looking over at him.

"...friends with benefits...?"

i roll my eyes, acting like i am annoyed. i look out the window to hide my smile.

i notice through the reflection on the window his expression change. "i'm just messing with you! but, seriously, do you want to label us as something?"

"i haven't really thought about it much, honestly. if you do want to label us, i want you to ask me out." i cross my arms over my chest, looking over at him with a smirk on my face.

"but, isn't it already implied that we are dating?" he says, his voice going higher with confusion.

"nope, it's not official until you ask me."

"fine, but just so you know, i'll be the best future-boyfriend ever!" he exclaims.

"uh huh, if you say so." i roll my eyes as he laughs. i lay back further into my seat, getting comfortable.

"just you wait until you see my manly boyfriend skills as i impress you into making you date me."

"focus on the road, you doof," i say, closing my eyes with a smile proudly on my face. his hand never left my knee once.

i feel the car stop and i sit up to look out the window to see a small pizzeria. i look over to mark, who looks embarrassed. "i-i don't know a lot of places around here. we can go somewhere else if you don't like it! it's just getting late and i didn't want to upset-"

"mark, mark! it's fine! seriously, it's perfect. i love pizza and i've heard they make great pizza and breadsticks." i smile at him to reassure.

he smiles back then proceeds to turn off the car and lead us inside. we sit at a small booth near a window, mark sits on one side as i sit across from him.

we are soon greeted by a tiny looking waitress who comes with her notepad. "hi, i'm ava and i'll be taking your order. what would you like to drink?" she says smiling, her teeth showing.

"um, i'll just take water please," i reply, smiling back at her. i absolutely despise it when people are rude to the waiters/waitresses, they are just trying to do their job and earn their money.

she writes down on her notepad then looks back up to mark. "alright, and for you?"

"i'll have coke."

she pauses for a moment before speaking, "oh, i'm sorry sir, we only have pepsi products. would pepsi be okay?" her smile drops and i see the worry on her face.

"of course, yeah," he smiles at her. she smiles back and then writes it down.

"okay, i'll be back with your drinks." she leaves our booth and heads to the back.

after a few moments of silence and looking down at the menu, mark speaks up, "hey, jack?" i look up from the menu to him. "i hope your night has been as great as mine. i've loved spending time with you and i really hope you feel the same."

"it's been amazing. i love having you here with me, i couldn't have it any other way," i respond, smiling brightly to show how happy i really am. i was incredibly happy.

the waitress, ava, comes back to us with our drinks and a small basket of breadsticks. she smiles before placing them in front of us. "you guys ready to order?" she says sweetly.

i look over to mark who nods at me, indicating for me to go. "i-i'll just get a small pepperoni pizza... please?"

"alright, the small is a bit bigger than you think. if you want, i can get you kid's pizza? they are pretty small, i prefer those myself." she laughs.

"i think jack is fine-" mark goes to speak but i interrupt him before he finishes.

"kid's pizza would be perfect." i smile at her to comfort her scared face. i ignore the annoyed look mark gives me from across the table.

"and you would like?" she says a bit more quietly to mark.

"a small hawaiian pizza. thanks."

she shakily writes down the orders then takes a deep breath to speak again, "anything else?" i can see she is trying her best to put on smile, but i can see through it. there's something she's trying to hide.

"we're good. thank you, ava," i reassure her and she looks between mark and i before nodding and ripping the page from her notepad. she walks away and heads into the back once again.

i turn to mark and his aggravated expression is obvious. "what's wrong?"

"she was flirting with my boyfriend," he states.

"she wasn't flirting and you're not my boyfriend, you still have to ask me. you realize you hurt her feelings?" i say.

"i- what? i hurt her feelings?" he says, his voice getting quite. he furrows his eyebrows, his eyes showing guilt. "i didn't mean to,i- dammit."

"it's okay, mark. she just seems sensitive. now, lets enjoy the rest of our date and not be jealous anymore, okay?"

he smiles and i smile back as he agrees, "okay."

our pizza arrives at out table after not too long of waiting. ava smiles brightly and i give her one in return. she leaves and we enjoy our meal together as we make small conversations.

suddenly, i start to cough, but not just any cough, a cough you get when you can't breathe. i don't know why i am or why i can't breathe from a simple cough, but mark immediately looks at me as i try my best to feel air in my throat.

"jack? jack?! are you okay?!" mark says eagerly.

i wanted to say i wasn't but i couldn't. i know i wasn't choking but it felt like my cough was taking all my air away in order for me breathe properly.

ava rushes over to our booth, hearing the commotion. "oh my god, ja- i mean, sir! drink some water!"

mark looks between ava and i with confusion but then settles on ava. "is he choking? doesn't he need the heimlich?!"

"no, no. he's coughing, his airway is clear, he just has a nasty cough," she comfirms. "uh, no offense on your cough, just describing what it is now. anyways, he just needs to drink some water and he should be fine."

"how... how do you know this?"

"i'm studying for medical school," she responds simply, she's too focused on me.

mark nods and looks over to me with worried eyes as i try to sip at my water through my coughing. after a few moments of drinking the water, i was able to breathe again, at least normally.

"do you feel alright? does anything hurt?" ava asks softly, rubbing my back in soothing circles.

"my chest hurts a little," i reply after taking another sip of water.

"okay, when you get home, just drink some water and rest. your body doesn't need any more work."

"thank you, i will." i smile sadly at her.

i look over to mark and he grimaces at her touching me. i give him a look that says 'not now' and i see the pleading in his eyes.

"h-hey ava, thank you again. we have to leave now, but i really appreciate your help," i say, looking up at her. she smiles and welcomes me.

mark and i soon leave to head back to his house. mark stayed worried and was annoyed with the waitress, and i passed out in the car, not worrying about what happened and dreamt about mark.

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2k words my frens. boom.

how do you feel about mark wanting to be jack's boyfriend? taking jack to the arcade? to the pizzeria? getting jealous about ava?

lemme know peeps.

erin. xx