The one guy I can truly say was good for me, I broke your heart and could never have had enough time to repair it. The amount of times I could apologize is substantial, so that won't be what I'll start off with. Instead I'll start off with that which preceded and now I'll say I'm sorry, so I'm sorry.

I was forever sorry, truthfully, and ashamed that I could never muster of the courage to tell you it. All those times in the hallway when you were just shutting your locker, on your way to class when I avoided eye contact to make myself feel better were the prime times when I wanted to pull you aside, but I thought I was better than that and that those actions were pathetic. As I'm writing this I'm positive that me not willingly to try was the only pathetic thing that happened in the halls - about the entire situation. All those times you were having car troubles and I wanted to stop to offer you a ride home since I couldn't fix cars and I passed your house anyway, it never crossed my mind that you'd say "yes", and be willingly to take that forty-minute trip with me. Just us. Like old times since I wasn't sure you wanted it to be like old times. The things that I am unveiling by recalling my silly accusations is beyond me, because you were never like that - a person who would turn down a kind gesture - and deep down I knew that, even from as that belligerent, disgusting ex. Your capacity for forgiveness was something I could only strive for and you were blessed with, it was something you wore proudly. You are blessed.

  There's no amount of sorry's that could capture the amount of guilt I felt all those times. Two and a half months we'd been broken up, and I still wanted to grab your hand in the hallways, wanted so bad for my text messages to be from you on Tuesday nights at 9 p.m. when I wanted to gossip about Teen Wolf, besides Annette, you're the only person who accepted my obsession for Stiles; while I'm mentioning Annette, keep in touch, to this day she still considers you the brother she never had.

I didn't rest at all those first few weeks, not that I should be mentioning this but it's just coming out because it was all my fault and I regret it. I shouldn't regret anything about the life I had but if given another minute with you I wouldn't squander it; I regret some things. This is selfish. This entire letter is a manifestation of my guilt, and it's not that I'm assuming that you would, but please do not dwell on my words. This letter is the final thing I can give you - this is my final goodbye to you. I can't give you anything else, no further explanation. Still you should know that for three years you were my best friend and for a long time the only one I legitimately had but you knew that.
And now I'm coming to realize that maybe sorry's weren't enough; and that there's never enough time. That when I said I should have done something, I should've done it.

  Take care, Clementine