PART ONE-CHAPTER SIXTEEN

//"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."//
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The Hand's Tournament was a grand event by all means. Her parents sat beside each other like they want to kill each other- nothing new, mind you- with her father's horn of ale being refilled every few minutes. Her mother was cloaked in Lannister robes, with two red lions on them, and Rhea sat a step below next to Joff. Near them were their younger counterparts, Tommen and Myrcella, both with excited smiles on their faces.

She wouldn't admit it, but she herself too always felt some kind of adrenaline during tournaments and watching knights duel- maybe it had something to do with the archery lessons her father gave her as a child, those that she had to say no to the second she became a woman- she knew it had something to do with Lyanna Stark knowing how to use a bow and arrow, but she couldn't say no, not after how she enjoyed the dagger lessons.

But then again, her mother had her stop when she flowered- No man would want her if she fought like him... Or that's what she said.

Then why did father marry you? You fight too.

With my brains, and a few things that only a woman possesses- the subtle feminine way.

But aren't you the one who said we have to work equally with men to earn their respect?

There are ways to do it, little one.

She turned a little to see Sansa Stark smiling a little toward her brother, but then, Joff being the proud arse that he is, just turned away- it was as if he blamed Sansa for his hand getting bitten. She then smiled at Sansa with some hope of reassuring her that things were going to be okay, but then again, Joff is a terrible person to be married to, and Rhea knew in truth that there is nothing she could ever do.

Her father took another swig of his ale as Ser Barristan watched and the crowd cheered on and on as the spirit of the tournament spread like wildfire. She was able to see Petyr Baelish talking to Sansa now before her father got up and in all his drunkenness screamed, "I've been sitting here for days! Start the damn joust before I piss myself!" Her mother was clearly disgusted, she walked away.

She sat for a while, greeting every noble lord and lady who came their way, and then at one point, the noise, the screaming, it aggravated her too so she got up. "Father..." she was going to tell him that she wanted to leave, but with him so drunk, it would be as good as talking to a rock. So she told Joff, "I'm getting out of here." And just like the very caring boy that he is, he couldn't care less and acted like he didn't hear.

She walked on the way to her chamber, and when she passed the passageway to the Hand's Tower, she realised that Ned Stark didn't even attend the Tournament that was held in his name, and she wanted to check on him and see if he was alright. When a lavish celebration is conducted in his name, Ned Stark was too polite a man to not attend, even if he wanted nothing to do with the tournament.

She walked toward the unguarded room and was about to open the door, but that was when she heard the voices from the inside.

"I suppose it makes sense. Your brother was trained to lead, and you were trained to follow." That was undoubtedly her mother, but what was she doing in Ned Stark's chamber, and who was she talking to? And what in the realm was she saying?

"I was also trained to kill my enemies, Your Grace." Is that Ned Stark? Of course, it was! But what conversation was this? It didn't make sense! But what her mother said next gave her the chills, throughout her body.

"As was I."

And she ran to her room then, the footsteps warning her that her mother was going to step out.

She caught her breath and put her hands on her knees as she bent down to catch her breath, her back on the chamber doors as she did so for support.

What the hell was going on?

She then, after regaining her composure, went near her bedside table and got herself a goblet of water, and then she noticed the rolled parchment, and when she turned it around, she noticed the direwolf sigil on the seal, with her name under it, and she immediately knew who it was from and that that was what she needed at the moment.

Dearest Rhea,

Good to know you're doing well, apart from all the drama that your family is ready to give. I suppose your letter was just the wake-up call I needed that I didn't have to keep to myself anymore. Thanks for that.

Heh, making friends with Arya? Is there anything you can't do? I mean, that's quite the achievement! She doesn't let anyone close that easily, so you've done yet another thing right! While you've been making great progress with my family, I suppose it would take me awhile to make progress with yours. I did tell my mother about that one specific worry of ours, and she said even if they did like me, they wouldn't show it because they would want me to know that they're ready to flay me alive if I hurt you in any way. So I am allowed to think that your family likes me, but just don't show it, right?

Your progress with Arya brings me to my next worry, one I hope wouldn't last long. Ever since he woke up, Bran hasn't been his cheerful and happy self. I mean, yes, he lost his legs....but he said he wanted to die. Not once, but twice. As the oldest, I'm supposed to know what to do about these things, aye? Does that make me a little less than I am, I mean, I'm not able to provide moral support to my brother, then how can I take care of a lordship?

Anyway, I just wrote all of this so that you would know what's going on in mind, but if you don't want to next time onward, I understand.

I miss you, and I can't wait until we're married.

Yours,

Robb.

The letter couldn't have come at a better time, that, Rhea knew. She really needed a few words from Robb, anything at all, and the fact that he was telling her about everything going on even in her absence gave her all the assurance she needed. She felt very sorry about Bran, he shouldn't have to go through any of this at such a small age, at any age!

She mulled over her thoughts for Bran and she just lay flat on her back on the bed, her hair sprawled all over, the tournament noises clouding her ears, mysterious conversation long forgotten.

***

Tyrion Lannister just gave her a letter. She knew who it was from the second he gave it, but she definitely didn't expect to receive one. As he galloped away out of the castle gates, she just looked down at the hand holding the parchment that she didn't and did want to read at the same time.

"Hm. About damn time the bastard came back. Clearly, he isn't going to let you go that easy." Theon said. That's when she remembered that he was in here and that he had a very terse expression on his face when she found him, and that wasn't very Theon-like. 

"He plans on torturing me by making me miss him more. But enough about that, what did Tyrion Lannister tell you? You didn't look very good when I found you with him."

"It's nothing, go mind your own business." Theon said, clearly annoyed, but Sara wasn't going to let go that easy.

"Theon, nothing bothers you, but this does. So please tell me what happened."

"He was just talking about how we'd never actually been a part of the family. Not you, myself, at least. I'm not even their ward, I'm their bloody hostage."

"Theon...." She wanted to say something that would comfort him, but her words wouldn't calm him down, she knew that much. So she hugged him, and then, just like that, she knew the Theon she knew was back when he said: "If you just wanted to touch me, all you had to do was ask, you know." And then he smirked as she laughed a little and hit his elbow and walked away, realising she had a huge task at hand.

Reading the arse's letter.

She then walked into her home and sat, where she saw her sister and Rickon fighting yet again, and she also heard a voice that said, "I'm going to tell Robb." 

Rickon and Beth were clearly on fire today, and when Beth heard that, she said: "Robb likes me better anyway, so he won't believe you!" And they both ran out, with no sort of acknowledgement for the adult in the room.

She then walked to the bedchamber and sat at the edge, and opened the letter.

Sara,

No Dear Sara, no Dearest Sara, just Sara. He's definitely made his decision, and for some reason, Sara didn't want to read the letter anymore.

But she couldn't help herself.

I hope you are well. I suppose I'm doing okay over here, it'll take me a while, surely, to get used to it. You know how I get in at new places. Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush, alright?

I know you hate it when I do that. I just wanted to apologise for we ended things. If you hate me for it, I want you to know that I understand that you have all the rights for it.

I just wanted to say that your well being is one of the reasons I left, because I know I was holding you back. Now don't hold all the weight over your shoulders, we know that was one among the reasons and not the only one.

I just wanted you to know that even if we're not together anymore, I would be there for you when you need it, just like you were for me my whole life. You would always have me by your side, and the fact that I'm not with you anymore shouldn't stop you from trying to contact me if you need anything. Anything at all. Although if you don't, I would honour that wish too, and respect your decision.

Jon.

Sara was at a loss for words. She didn't expect him to be so civil with her, especially when they spent the last two years being their most true selves towards each other.

And he also had the nerve to tell her that she could ask him for help when she needs it? Yes, that is definitely something Jon would do, look out for everyone, but this?

This wasn't an offer for help.

This was compensation.

She might love him, but she won't be treated like a charity case. She can take care of anything herself. After leaving her to be on his own, he isn't supposed to think of her, and yet he does, only to tell her this?

She knew once she composed herself that Jon was only extending a peace offering, and wants to end things on good terms, but she still doesn't want to bring herself to believe that someone who said that he didn't want her would come forward to help. That was too good to be true.

She then drank a goblet of wine and came to what she thought was one of the best decisions of her life.

She threw the letter into the fire, and if they were ever to cross paths again, she would just act civil around him, nothing more.

Why should she always be the one bending to meet other's levels?

She wouldn't anymore.

She was done with Jon Snow.

She fell in love with him, and now she was going to climb all the way back up to become the girl she was before she fell.

She was done.

***