XDD I made this in my notepad:

Hello patient 24602

Me: I'm sorry- Hello, how are-

How are you feeling?

Me: Um, not great

Has the treatment been working?

Me: Uh, I don't think so, no

What are your remaining symptoms?

Me: I just- I internalize my feelings a lot. I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people. I feel like I just-

So basically you're still a little bitch

Me: Yes, very mature of you disembodied voice way up there

I was just joking, nigga

Me: All right, you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit

I'm not human I can say whatever I want

Me: Okay, just let's get to the point. What's wrong with me, please? Please.

Your emotions and your logic are at war.

Me: OK

Your creativity and your analysis are at war. And most simply, your left and right brain are at war.

Me: My left and my-

To fix the problem we must separate them from each other.

Me: Sep-

Splitting your neurological functions in 5... 4...

Me: Can we book an appointment or something?

3...

Me: You just don't start counting down to major medical procedures

2... 1

This may hurt a bit

Me: I don't even know what 'it' is

0

Me: Just tell me what you're-

Isolation complete

This is Endey's left brain, objective, logical, cold, analytical
Aware of patterns, aware of trends, he's efficient, and a prick

This is Endey's right brain, subjective, creative, sensory
Aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot

Newt: That's your opinion-just careful with opinions

Okay, boys, play nice

Thomas: I am the left brain, I am the left brain
I work really hard 'til my inevitable death brain
You got a job to do, you better do it right, and the right way is with the left brain's might

Newt: I like Oreos and dick yah! (yes, in that order)
And I cried for at least an hour after watching "Toy Story 3" (Woody!)
'Cause I am the right brain, I have feelings,
I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful, trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love ^///^

Thomas: Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest. I'll take your phone out and check your email
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate—but screw that—So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate

Newt: Holy fuck I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it

Thomas: Tits

Newt: I am the earth, she is the glorious sun
I want her to trust me and I just want her to- how do i say this- sit on my face!
(Sit! Sit on my face!)

Thomas: Alright now right brain you're being insane

Newt: No left brain, I'm just being alive
You should try it, you might like it

Thomas: I worked hard to give them everything they cared about
You were worried about the things that they was scared about
I'm calm and collected when you act wild
I am the adult, you are the child

Newt: You think you're the right one every time
You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all
Half of their problems were supposed to be mine
But you wanted everything.
I hope that you're happy 'cause they're sure not

Thomas: Well, according to my calculations, I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again, um, you're a pussy

Newt: Name calling? Really? You're gonna just do name calling?

Thomas: I'm not calling names alright, I'm just stating facts and the fact is you're a quivering pussy

Newt: I'm the pussy? Well, at least I don't play with toys still, OK...

Thomas: Rubik's cubes are not toys, they keep my spacial reasoning skills... sharp

Newt: Left brain plays with toys!
Look at you, Mr... you're a toy player

Thomas: Well at least I did my fucking job, alright. I kept him working, I kept them productive
You were supposed to look after them
You were supposed to keep them emotionally stable through all this
Now you're trying to blame me for how they're feeling, how they're feeling!
If they're feeling unhappy it's because you failed them
You did this to him, he hates you I know they does, they fucking hates you!

Newt: *cries*

Thomas: Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay?

Newt: No, you're not

Thomas: Look, *grabs Newt's hands* maybe there's something we could do together

Newt: Together?

Thomas: Take the best parts of both of us and put them together

Newt: I'm listening

It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze

So you could man the themes; I'll man the form.
It's something that George Carlin did, it's something that Steve Martin did
It's something special that we could both perform.
Do you know what it is?

Newt: Juggling, we could juggle, and juggle our cares away!

Thomas: It was... It was comedy, you, fuck it, we could do comedy together.

Initiate reassembly

Thomas: All right, right brain we're gonna do comedy together, we gotta do comedy together

Newt: All right, left brain I'll do comedy with you

Thomas: Look, we can fix him like this- we can make him happy again. I promise, all right?

(5, 4, 3)

Newt: Left brain... *hugs Thomas* left brain, I love you

(2)

Thomas: *pets his hair*...I know

1. Experimentation complete

XDDD I love this

I was bored asf XD

Song: Left Brain, Right Brain by Bo Burnham