I got a magic eight ball and this is what happened

Me: am I cool *shakes eight ball*

Eight ball: the stars say no

Me: well shuck the stars! Will she say yes? *shakes eight ball*

Eight ball: positively

Me: *dance party* do you like me? *shakes it*

Eight ball: you can count on it

Me: yay we can be friends! *remembers a creepypasta with an eight ball* are you going to murder me? *shakes it*

Eight ball: definitely

Me: *throws eight ball* nope
I am so done