Chapter XXI
The following day, the gang had returned to Lestallum. Not only did they report their find to Talcott, but they also took on a couple of nearby hunts. Noctis was all about doing small jobs of that sort alongside his hunt for his ancestors' power. Though the whole time since they left the Greyshire Glacial Grotto, Angelica's mind went back to her own plans.
Though she didn't mind lending the prince a hand in his journey, she honestly felt like she was wasting time there. If she had had her way, she probably would've already made it to Niflheim and taken down a portion of their army. She thought of sneaking away again, but then another thought crossed her mind. What if my attempts are futile? What if I'm not strong enough to take down the Niffs? I'd fail Mom and King Regis.
Her oddly quiet behavior didn't go unnoticed though. Ignis and Gladio had definitely picked up on it. Even though Angelica was often quiet and distant, there were times when she was even more so. They learned that that was always when something was on her mind. Both men had quickly taken notice of it after they left the Grotto. Even now, the boys were in their hotel room, chatting with Iris and Talcott.
"Hey, anyone seen Angel?" Iris suddenly asked, realizing the redhead was absent.
Ignis pushed up his glasses. "No, but she really shouldn't be left to her own devices at the moment."
"Why not?" Prompto inquired, clueless about Angelica's recent behavior.
"Perhaps I'll have a look around," Ignis said, standing from his seat and ignoring the blond's question.
Noctis jumped to his feet. "I'll go too."
Before he could move, Gladio snatched his arm, keeping him from following the bespectacled man. "Noct, maybe you should leave this to Iggy."
"Huh? Why?"
The shield rolled his eyes. He's almost as dense as Prompto. "Just... let Ignis take care of it. He knows what he's doing."
Ignis glanced back, catching a glimpse of the encouraging grin Gladio gave him. He left the room, silently thanking the tattooed man for keeping the others from interfering. He knew that with Angelica, one-on-one talks were the most effective. The girl wasn't one to openly tell everyone everything that bothered her. He only hoped she hadn't left town on one of her revenge plans.
Meanwhile, Angelica stood alone in the darkness of the outlook. The whole area was vacant, leaving the girl to her thoughts. She stared down at the beautifully crafted dagger in her hand. She treasured the blade that belonged to her mother, keeping it in her backpack of things that was often stored in the trunk of the Regalia. The tears she'd been holding back for so long were finally falling freely.
"I'm sorry, Mom," she muttered. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or anyone. I'm a failure of an assassin. What good am I to anyone now?"
All the guilt and pain of her losses had finally caught up to her. She couldn't stand being so useless. She was always given important roles and jobs back in the Citadel. Now it seemed like she was stuck following the prince around on his little journey. Her tears kept flowing. She gazed down at the glistening dagger. Maybe life isn't worth living for a failure like me.
She slowly raised the dagger up until it was level with her neck. With the very tip of the blade touching her skin, she lined it up so that it would pierce her artery. But before she could act, a firm hand caught her wrist. Her teary eyes grew wide and darted to the side, recognizing the gloved hand that stopped her.
"Angelica." Ignis's voice was laced with astonishment, but also slight anger. "What on Eos do you think you're doing?"
The girl was quick to tug her wrist free and lower the weapon while turning her head away. "I was just... seeing what it felt like on the recieving end of a blade."
Ignis saw right through her feeble lie. "Angel, don't you ever think taking your own life is an option. You have far too much to live for." When she turned her gaze back out to the starry sky, he could see her tear-stained face. "I don't believe I've ever seen you cry before."
The girl quickly began wiping her eyes. "I swore I'd never shed my tears in front of anyone." Despite her attempts, she couldn't hold back. More tears replaced the ones she wiped away. "But it's just... Why did this have to happen?!" Her free hand shot out, gripping the railing. "I should've trained harder! If I'd been stronger, I could've-"
She froze, feeling the man's hand on her shoulder. "Listen to me, there was nothing you could've done to stop what happened. You're not to blame for it."
"But," she argued, "even now, I've been unable to avenge anyone who died at the Citadel. Instead, I'm here, following around Prince Noctis like a lost pup. Is that really how low I've stooped?"
Ignis moved closer to her side, gliding his hand across her back and to her other shoulder. "Angel, what we're doing IS important for stopping the empire. But you're way of going about it is suicide. And although Noct would loathe to admit it, you are very important to all of us. You're a valuable ally and a faithful friend. We need you." She turned her gaze to her feet, listening to every word that left his lips while tucking the dagger into the edge of her belt. "So won't you please stop this senseless quest for revenge?"
His hand left her shoulder as he awaited a response. "I... I don't know if I can do that, Ignis. I feel like... this is just something I have to do. I can and will kill anyone who threatens those I care about." She dried her eyes and glanced at his face, noticing a hint of concern present in his expression. "Don't be too surprised. Believe it or not, I have taken lives before."
"Back home... you truly murdered people?"
She nodded weakly, looking away sadly. "Most of the time it was by order for a traitor or rebellious group to be taken care of. My mom and I... we did our jobs well. But there was a time before..."
"Yes?" Ignis urged, eager to hear what she had to say.
"The first time I took an innocent life - I remember it clearly." She could hardly believe she was about to tell him of something she'd ever only told her mother. "It was back when I was about to graduate middle school. I was on a few errands one night. Normally the streets between our house and the market were safe, but that night, there was a man in an alley. He called me over, and the gullible little girl I was back then fell for it." She hugged her arms. "I could smell the alcohol on him. He had me against the wall and he... he tried to... do things. But before I even knew what was going on, my dagger was buried in his throat."
Ignis instinctively began to rub her back to try and soothe her. "Angel..." he muttered.
"I was so scared. I had never seen so much blood before. I ran in a panic and told my mom everything. And do you know what she told me?" She paused briefly. "She said that everything was okay, and that it was just an accident - that for people like us, taking lives wasn't uncommon, especially in an act of self-defense. After that, I learned to cope with it. I did whatever I had to for those I cared about. Taking a life is okay if it's to protect something precious - that's what I was taught."
After a moment of silence, Ignis finally spoke, "I'd never realized just how much you had endured in your earlier years. I feel privileged that you told me all this. And I hope you know that it still changes nothing between us. I can safely say that I would entrust you with my life... if you can entrust me with yours."
Angelica slowly looked up at him in surprise. He gently smiled at her, causing a smile to tug at her lips as well. Without even thinking, she wrapped him in a hug, burying her face in his shirt. Ignis was taken aback for a moment, never witnessing Angelica react in such a way. Nonetheless, he wrapped his arms around her in return, holding her in a warm, comforting embrace.
"I already do," she murmured into his shirt. Her voice was quiet, but Ignis still heard her. "I trust all of you, more than you could ever realize." She suddenly realized what she was doing and jumped back away from him. She averted her gaze in embarrassment. "Ignis, I-I'm sorry."
He chuckled. "It's quite alright. What do you say we go back to the hotel?"
Angelica slowly nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Okay." The two began walking side by side away from the outlook. The girl rubbed her arm and shyly turned her head away. "Thank you."
"Whatever for?" the advisor asked.
She glanced up at him. "For listening... and understanding."
"Think nothing of it. That's why I'm here, darling."
The girl blushed lightly. She actually thought she'd misheard him. Why would he... call me "darling"? She remained silent, assuming it was just a slip of his tongue. But Ignis didn't make slip ups. He had every intention to call her that. Though he knew he shouldn't, he couldn't help himself.
Traveling with her now and hearing her story, he felt so much closer to her than before. And even though he took his duty seriously, he was also growing quite enamored with the red-haired assassin to the point that he couldn't contain himself. He wanted nothing more than to keep her safe and take away her pain and worries. Of course, he still wouldn't neglect his responsibilities.
He was actually tempted to tell the prince of his personal desire, knowing he would need to get it out in the open at some point and assure Noctis that he wouldn't neglect his responsibilities. But he figured it was still too early. After all, he wasn't certain of Angelica's feelings on the matter. She was one person, often like himself, who was extremely hard to read. For now, he would have to keep it to himself. Perhaps in time, he would have a chance to learn of the girl's opinions of him. But until then, he would do his best to keep his own feelings in check.
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