笑顔と嘘

 "Shiori, why do you look like you're planning the end of the world?" Shuusei asked, tipping his head to the side curiously as he took another bite of the bread he'd pinched from Aoi's bento.

"I do not look like I am planning the end of the world." She fired back bluntly.

"Yes, you do like you're planning the end of the world."

"I said I don't."

"Just because you say you don't," Aoi trilled. "Doesn't mean you don't."

Shiori glared. "You're doing that on purpose, you idiot."

Aoi only grinned toothily. The lid of Shiori's bento snapped open, and she let it drop from her fingers with a loud clatter on her table. Her fingers were rigid in their tense movement as she separated her chopsticks and shovelled in a big lump of rice in her mouth.

Pai strategically avoided Shiori's occasional glances her way by focusing on the novel she had in her hand, though she wasn't even aware of what the sentences she mindlessly read meant. She didn't even really remember the name of the book. It was the first thing she'd pulled out of her bag when everyone came in and gathered around her desk for lunch, as had become custom. She'd done it because it was the only thing she could think of to avoid handling the ticking nuclear time bomb sitting beside her that was codenamed 'Matsumoto Shiori'.

"What possible reason could you have to be angry, Shii-chan?" Natsume said as she scribbled hastily in her Maths book. "I mean, we've got not one, not two, but three new teachers. And we're in their classes. And one of them cooks such good food. And they're all hot."

Shiori gave her a venomous look. "Is that all that matters to you?" she deadpanned.

"Actually, what also matters to me is that I make a good impression on Hayashi-san in Maths so he doesn't think I'm a lazy idiot hogging off on everyone's answers for homework." Natsume replied without hesitation. Her eyes rarely left the two exercise books in front of her. One, she knew, was Natsume's own exercise book. The other was not.

Shuusei gave her a flat look. "But you are a lazy idiot hogging off of Shiori's answers for homework."

"Shut up, greedy pig." Natsume snapped.

Shuusei returned with the sharp retort of, "Shut up, brainless hog."

"Idiot."

"Buffoon."

"Womanly squirrel."

"Manly horse."

Are they always like this? Kuniumi asked. She was sniggering, laughing.

Pai found that the sound was nice. It was different, not just in the way it sounded, but the way it felt. Every time Kuniumi laughed, it was like she was making a joke of anything that meant something important to Pai. It grated on her nerves, made her more irritated at Kuniumi. Other times, her laugh was so sad and lonely that all Pai wanted to do was run away from it.

This time, she sounded like she genuinely enjoyed witnessing the snip-snap banter between Natsume and Shuusei. The laugh didn't frazzle Pai's fraying nerves, as she'd thought it would. Instead, it calmed her. She wished Kuniumi was always like this.

A lot. They're twins.

The gleeful humour in Kuniumi's voice faded away. The sadness that was ever-present in her voice, just lurking beneath the insanity, seeped up to the surface, swimming in the pool of black that surrounded Kuniumi. She still hadn't figured out if the sadness was for Kuniumi herself, or for Pai.

We are sorry for you.

She looked up from staring blankly at her book, at a grain of her still untouched rice. She frowned in bewilderment as Natsume and Shuusei lobbed insults back and forth, while Aoi gushed about Shin as their new teacher and Shiori tried not to cringe at every word.

Why would you be?

You missed out. They have fun. You didn't get that. Not enough. Not as much as it should have been.

What are you talking about?

It would be telling if we told you.

She fought against the natural instinct to roll her eyes at Kuniumi's reasoning. Even as she did, she knew that Kuniumi wouldn't tell her what she meant by her foxing, roundabout words. All she could do was throw guesses at her, and Kuniumi would simply bounce them off.

It was what she been doing for the last three days since she'd unconsciously tried to kill Shin. It was all she really could do. All Kuniumi did was throw riddles right back at her, or cackle madly before disappearing. When she ran out of ideas about possible reasons for why she'd attacked Shin, she started coming up with theories about who Kuniumi was, and why only Pai could hear her – and see her reflection in windows and mirrors.

At each and every turn, Kuniumi either deflected her guesses, or ignored them like they were pesky bugs. She didn't say yes. She didn't say no. Kuniumi didn't even confirm anything with a 'maybe'.

Fwip, fwip, whoosh, whoosh, his bullets always find their mark.

Her frown deepened. A hint, a clue about what Kuniumi was talking about. It was familiar, yet at the same time she remained stumbling in the dark, looking for the hole to put the key into and unlock the door. There was a name behind that clue, one she shouldn't have forgotten – but it eluded her.

He was there for you. Only you. His loyalty will always be yours.

"I'm done, I'm done, I'm finally done!" Natsume suddenly exclaimed, her chair skidding back over the floor as she shot out of it. "I'm finally done with this! Sensei Fujimoto thought I wouldn't finish this? Well, take that!" she punched the air in front of her in triumph.

"Your Maths homework?" she asked, wondering why she would be so ecstatic about such an ordinary thing.

Natsume pouted. "You have no idea how much I suck at Maths, Pai-chan. It's going to be the death of me."

"You're exaggerating." Shuusei deadpanned.

Natsume narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't want to hear that from you, Mr. My Dear Beloved Sister Please You Have To Help Me With Japanese Literature Or I will Actually Die."

Aoi giggled, hiding the laugh behind her hand when Shuusei glared at her. "When did that happen?"

Shuusei slowly started to rise from his seat. "Stop talking."

"You can't tell me what to do," Natsume shot back. She was already backing away with her Maths exercise book held out protectively in front of her, a flimsy paper shield to protect her against Shuusei's deep-seated scowl. "I'm the older one."

"Just shut up, Natsume."

She smirked. "He said that just yesterday, Aoi-chan. Remember that Classical Literature homework Watanabe gave us?"

Natsume yelped when Shuusei darted around the tables the four had pushed together for lunch. Quick as a bolt of lightning, she twisted around and ran straight for the door, laughing and singing, "Mr. My Beloved Sister Help Me Please," all the while as Shuusei yelled at her to shut up. They rounded the class doors and disappeared down the corridor. Everyone in the classroom laughed at the twins' rowdy behaviour. It was something they were all used to – eve the teachers.

"One thousand yen says he'll catch her before the end of lunch and bribe her to never speak of this again." Shiori said, tapping the end of one chopstick against the front of her teeth. "And I'm going to buy katsudon with that money."

"Hm..." Aoi tilted her head to the side, put one finger up to touch her bottom lip meditatively, and her eyes floated up to the ceiling. "One thousand says he won't catch her and she'll be the one to bribe him into doing all her chores for a month. I'm going to buy ramen!"

Both Aoi and Shiori looked at Pai then, expectantly.

"What?" she asked, swinging her head from Aoi to Shiori and back.

"Don't pretend like you don't have an allowance, Pai-chan," Shiori said in a mock-teasing tone. "You do, and you're going to bet it on something."

Aoi reached over and tugged on the end of Shiori's low ponytail, quite hard. "Quit being mean, Shiori-chan. What she actually means is, what do you think will happen?"

"You make it sound like they are beetles in a race."

"They do that a lot," Aoi explained with a fond smile. "And I've gotten myself quite a lot of money off of this idiot by guessing right most of the time."

"Swindler," Shiori muttered darkly, pushing away the peas and carrots to the sides of her bento box.

Aoi rolled her eyes. "Anyway, what'd you think will happen?"

What should I say? She worried. I don't know Natsume and Shuusei well enough.

Don't lie. You do.

I don't.

What's Natsume's favourite food?

Donburi. She realized what Kuniumi had just done. It also disturbed her to realize that, in her moment of confusion, she'd chosen to rely on what Kuniumi had to say rather than herself.

"Um...maybe Natsume-san will avoid him long enough, and then make him buy her donburi?"

"Ooh," Aoi made a fish face, widening her eyes and puckering her lips. "I should've thought of that. She'll probably do that."

"Shuu-kun's in the baseball team. He's more fit than her, so he can run after her longer." Shiori pointed out, defending her own stance in the bet.

"Yeah, but Natsu-chan knows the school inside out, when she was in that treasure hunting club last year." Aoi replied. "She knows the best places to hide."

Shiori's lips pursed tight and moved to the side. Pai could see she was already regretting her hasty bet. "Is it too late to change my bet?"

"Don't you dare." Aoi replied, slitting her eyes suspiciously.

"Fine, fine." Shiori grumbled into her lunch. "Thief."

Aoi cocked an incredulous eyebrow. "Con-woman."

"Burglar."

"That's just a synonym for thief." Aoi replied with a delighted smile on her face. Then a small frown creased her eyebrows and she sat back, putting a hand up to her throat as if she felt like bile was rising up. Pai noticed that she had crossed her free arm over her stomach. Shiori noticed her odd behaviour as well.

"Are you okay?" Shiori asked, concern colouring her voice.

"Mm..." Aoi mumbled half-heartedly. "My stomach hurts."

"Since when?" Shiori squinted her eyes as she thought back. "You never get sick. That is your thing – you never, ever get sick."

"I am aware of the fact, thank you very much for that useless observation, Shiori-chan." She grumbled back.

"You looked fine when our classes had PE together today. When did it start?"

"Today morning."

"Period?"

"Finished last week."

"Did you go to the nurse's yet?"

Aoi shook her head. "There was no time, and in the lesson before lunch it stopped so I didn't think I needed to go."

"You should go, before it gets serious." Pai spoke up, having kept silent for most of the conversation that bubbled around her. She hadn't had much strength to properly pay attention in class, never mind aimlessly chatter. She didn't want to eat, either. Her stomach growled, a little bit, but she ignored it. "I can take you, if you want."

Aoi looked up hopefully. Her eyes were bright. She reminded Pai of a happy puppy, or a rabbit. "Really? You don't mind?" she shook her head in response. "Okay, thanks so much! I hate going to the nurse's office alone."

"And as testament to the fact," Shiori declared, as if she were a majestic messenger announcing the arrival of the emperor. "She avoids going there like the nurse is a demon from hell or something."

"I just don't like hospitals." Aoi shot back defensively.

"Aihara-san's office is not a hospital."

"It's close enough." Aoi replied. "I mean, it kind of smells like one."

Pai nodded her head in Aoi's direction. "She gets a point for that."

"What the – " Shiori gawped at her. "That's not fair!"

"Um, what's not fair?" Aoi asked, shyly raising a hand as if a lesson was still in session.

Shiori aimed her chopsticks at Pai, who only smiled faintly in response. "She gives points out to people who say something that makes sense, and I never get any. Basically everyone gets points except me. This is a vendetta against my character. It's not fair."

Aoi gave her a cutely blank look. "That's because you never say anything that makes sense, Shiori-chan."

"I said the same thing. She refuses to believe me." Pai said.

Shiori glared. "You're ganging up on me. I declare you both to be complete idiots."

Aoi stuck her tongue out at Shiori mockingly, and then started to rise out of her seat. Pai quickly followed, pushing her chair back. A wave of nausea rolled over her. Little balls of black light sparked in the fringes of her eyes. She gritted her teeth in fierce determination not to suddenly collapse, and as soon as she blinked, the black balls of light disappeared into the nothing they were born from.

But still, the perpetual weakness that seemed to have increased tenfold in the last two weeks strained at her muscles, weighing her down. She felt that her bones themselves were shaking from the simple effort of standing from her chair. She shook her head stubbornly against the exhaustion that beckoned to her.

It's nothing. I'm fine. Right? You would know.

Kuniumi didn't reply. Pai couldn't sense her at all, not even a minute trace of her.

I'm fine.

"D'you want to come?" Aoi was asking Shiori, who remained seated.

Shiori shook her head, eyes remaining fixed on one particular pea that kept popping out from between her clamped chopsticks. She was concentrating on picking out every individual boiled pea that had insofar evaded her chopsticks. There was already a pile of diced carrots sitting on her bento lid, though Shiori hadn't made a move to give any to her. Maybe she had noticed Pai not so much as touching her own lunch.

"Nah, you guys go ahead. Someone needs to be here to tell Shuu-kun where you went, or he'll think you were kidnapped or something."

Aoi didn't look too sure about it. "He wouldn't."

Shiori lifted an imperious brow, but kept her eyes on the pea she was slowly transferring from the rice to where it would join the steadily growing pile of peas beside the carrots.

"Okay, maybe he might." Aoi backpedalled.

Shiori snickered. "You underestimate how much that boy is head over heels for you. Even Pai can tell, and she's known you idiots for one term."

Pai inclined her head in agreement. "Point to her."

Shiori looked up, eyes suddenly bright. "Seriously? Did you just give me a point?" Pai nodded, a small smile on her face at Shiori's glee. "Finally!"

Aoi pressed a hand to her stomach. There was a furious, deep crimson blush that looked like the colour of a burnished, setting sun had built up in her cheeks as they talked. By the time Pai turned to look at her, she looked like she was embarrassed, and going to be sick.

"Um, sorry to ruin the festivities for the elusive point Shii-chan never gets," she apologized. "But I might actually puke any second now."

"We should hurry," Pai said, turning to go. "It might be something serious."

"I hope it's not food poisoning." Aoi groaned fretfully, following after her. "I went to a new ramen place, but the food was really good. Spoiled food can't taste good, right?"

Shiori nodded and waved them away. As they walked, Pai strategically kept her eyes averted, careful to make sure she didn't accidentally meet those of any of her classmates. She knew they were staring at her. Somehow, they were still unused to her white hair. It had already been a whole term, yet that never changed. They were all friendly to her, greeted her when they saw her, but the astonished and befuddled stares didn't stop, or change. She thought it would have, by now, but everyone still acted like she was an extra-terrestrial phenomenon.

Or maybe they were still waiting for the teachers to call her out and force her to dye her hair black.

At least Kouta had managed to keep that from happening, somehow.

Humans are so scared of what is different to them. If it is not being scared, it is awe, and it is too easy to pave way to fear from admiration.

She swallowed, acknowledging the simple truth of what Kuniumi said while ignoring the sudden chill of her abrupt reappearance.

Why? Why is fear the first instinct?

Because they don't know. They don't know if this thing that is different will prove to be a threat, or harmless. Too many times has something unknown become something to fear. If this thing is dangerous they want to eliminate it. If it is not they want to dominate it. Humans are never satisfied.

But I'm not, she insisted. I'm not a threat. I'm just like them. It's only my hair that's different.

Kuniumi chortled, her caustic remark dripping in derisive satire. You know you are not like these inferior bugs.

Her words scared Pai, for they were now proving to be truer than almost anything else about her. She'd handled a gun, in her sleep, so expertly that she managed to wound a Daitengu. A Daitengu. It was just a bruise, but the fact that she'd somehow managed to actually land a hit him was enough to convince her that the Pai in her dreams, her memories, wasn't a figment of her imagination.

That Pai was real.

That Pai terrified her beyond comprehensible understanding.

That Pai was her.

She glanced back as she walked. She only just managed to see Shiori looking at her untouched food, a worried look on her face, her entire body held so still it was like she was a statue. The wall passed into view, blocking her sight of Shiori, and she turned back to pay attention to where she was walking, and to be polite to Aoi's somewhat nervous chatter as the girl talked about...something.

The empty rumbling in her own stomach had her fighting to keep the expression of nausea she had off of her face the whole way to the nurse's office.