One of the longest chapters from this fic, i think over 6k words.

I think you'll like this chapter, guys... :)

The heaviness of the air around the families sitting in the restaurant's table made it hard to breathe, at least it was hard for Remus to breathe before dinner. The Potters were sitting on the other side of the table with both their children, waiting for Sirius to take the breath that he needed to say what he must. The Lupins (and Jensen) were sitting across from them, all uncomfortable and stiff in their chairs, unable to find something to say or do.

There was an unspoken agreement not to say anything about Sirius and Luna's past "relationship", for the sake of Luna's reputation, especially now that she was so deeply involved with Regulus.

"I..." started Sirius, still trying to find the words. "I never meant for this to happen. I tried to do something and didn't think of the consequences. It was all my fault. I'm sorry."

Remus just blinked, trying his best not to let a single facial expression betray the anger within his chest.

Euphemia turned to Sirius, urging him not to continue, clearly unsatisfied with what her son had said.

"I don't want to make this turn into excuses," he admitted, noticing his mum turning to look at him. "I don't know what to say besides that I'm truly sorry, and that I wish you understand that I never meant anything like this to happen. I just... I was scared. I truly thought that he wouldn't come, I thought that he would just watch from far away, I didn't think he would follow us into the tree passage. I thought he would go to Dumbledore, maybe then the headmaster would make him be quiet about his suspicions or anything else... I didn't think he would follow."

"But he did," Remus said bitterly. "And I almost killed him."

"He did," Sirius said, surprised to hearing Remus' voice, staring at him. "I sent him an apology letter. I was suspended, you see, so I can't go to school for a few days still, but I wanted to apologise to him –"

"And he will again, face-to-face," Euphemia added when Sirius failed to do so. It had been one of her conditions. "He needs to apologise to Severus Snape face-to-face and be honest about it."

"It's true. I was reckless, dangerous and stupid. I didn't think of the consequences that could follow or what could happen to anybody else – not you, nor James," Sirius said, peeking a look at James as well. He looked at his brother with some frowning but was more amenable to forgiving him. "And you got hurt, James, I'm sorry. I put everybody's life at risk. I was so angry that I made a mistake."

Remus scoffed.

"The thing is that I cannot be certain that you wouldn't do that even if you weren't angry, Sirius, and that makes me scared. That makes me wonder why it took you so long, but now I know," Remus said.

"It was a... twisted game that I was playing, and I hurt a lot of people, physically or not. I betrayed your trust, Remus, I'm sorry," Sirius said.

Remus glanced at Luna, who hadn't looked up from her hands resting on her lap. They couldn't speak openly about Sirius had made her go through as well, but as he looked back at the boy that had been his friend, he saw him looking at Luna with pity and pain in his eyes. He knew how he had messed up.

"And Luna," he said, surprising her enough to make her eyes wide and look at him. "Our argument... you were right." He pressed his lips together as if saying that had hurt him a bit. "I suppose you were right to say that I would end up alone if I continued doing what I was doing; I was angry, then I went and proved you right. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for everything that I've done to you." She looked away, but didn't answer. "I...," his breath hitched, unsure of what to say, "I think that I owe you a lot more apologies than I owe these two. You were always a good friend to me and I overlooked you time and time again out of pride and... fear. I should've been proud to be your friend."

She didn't say anything. Her jaw locked.

Confused, Hope turned to her daughter and watched as she swallowed down her tears.

"Remus... I'm truly sorry," Sirius insisted, moving subjects with tears in his eyes. "I exposed you and revealed your secret, even if indirectly. I could've ruined your life had it not been for James, and all of this because of thoughtless actions and stupid fear. I didn't want to mess everything up and, in trying to fix it, I fucked it up even worse. I beg of you your forgiveness, because I don't think I can do anything if you don't forgive me for this."

Euphemia didn't like his tone in the last sentence and glanced at him before noticing that he was trying his best to swallow down the knot on his throat and was failing miserably in looking composed. Even in public, Sirius was falling apart, and all of this because his teenage revenge had crossed the line.

Sirius sobbed, a hand flying to his mouth to muffle it as soon as the first noise was out. Then he looked down, his black, long, unwashed hair creating a curtain around his face so he could cry openly.

Luna hurriedly got up from where she was.

"Can you take me to the Floo, Daddy? I want to go back. I need to see Regulus," she said, voice low, ignoring Sirius' tears.

Remus got up as well.

"I'm ready to leave as well," he said.

Sirius' sobs were more constant now.

While Remus cared deeply for Sirius, he couldn't deal with his tears at the moment when the simple sight of his face made him wonder what sort of punch he should throw to break his nose. It was the boy that he loved. It was the boy that had betrayed him in more than one way and hurt so many people in the process for petty, childish reasons.

Hope didn't move from where she sat, watching her husband shifting in his seat before getting up and taking his children to the fireplace of the restaurant where the Floo had been open, waiting for them. Then, once the children were far away enough, she turned to the Potters and Sirius.

"He needs time, Sirius," she said, kindly.

"He hates me," Sirius sobbed.

Hope couldn't deny it.

"He hates himself right now, and he'll continue hating himself for a while now. It was more than the school situation; we told him something –"

"About Luna?" Sirius asked, raising his head and cleaning his tears. Noticing Hope's surprise and Fleatmont's silent wincing, he cleared his throat, trying to gain some control. "She told me about what happened."

"Luna barely remembers –"

"Luna remembers everything," Sirius said, voice firmer. "Every single detail of that night, she remembers it quite well, I can assure you. She has nightmares of it sometimes, especially when she's got a fever through the night."

Hope narrowed her eyes. "How do you know that?" she asked.

"Madame Pomfrey usually puts Luna and Remus close to one another in the Hospital Wing when they are sick. My animagus form is a dog, so I have good ears," he answered, cleaning his tears. "If you're near enough, you can make out what she grumbles sometimes. She remembers it enough to fear it."

And that fact that he had seen the scars and asked had also helped him create the scene in his mind, putting her slurred words alongside with that information. It wasn't that hard to understand what she was dreaming about, whining and whimpering in pain and fear throughout the night even while Madame Pomfrey shushed her, caressing her hair and washing her sweat off with cold water.

James turned to Sirius, knowing far too well how he probably found out about the scars and te attack.

"You never said –"

"Remus didn't know," was all he said. "He wouldn't be able to deal with it if it just... got out."

It was explanation enough, even in Sirius' hypocrisy.

Even to Hope.

She made a little noise that sounded like a gasp as she finally understood (or thought he understood) Luna's sudden anger towards Sirius.

It was enough information in that boy's tone to know that he was in love with Remus. It was no surprise that Luna had decided to move on. If this was how devoted he was to Remus all the time, she certainly would've noticed it before, but she hoped Luna's sudden 'obsession' with Sirius' brother was somewhat genuine and not just a ploy to force herself to move on, because the boy seemed honestly interested in her.

Silently, she made a note to start talking to Lyall about his reaction if Remus ever decided he was homosexual like in those parenting pamphlets in the hospital that she worked at, because it would most likely happen sooner or later.

"I need to go. I got to work," she said, getting up from her seat as well. "Have a good day, Potters. Sirius."

Euphemia turned to her.

"Hope," she called out.

"Yeah?"

"Before you go, I must ask you. As you know, I'm to be Luna's sponsor and chaperone. Have you decided how things will work in New-Year's Eve?" Euphemia asked.

Hope frowned.

"It's a party. She's needs a chaperone in a party?" she asked, confused.

Sirius almost scoffed, but held himself.

"If the parties haven't changed much since I left, women usually take a chaperone with them," Sirius says. "Marriages have been decided in that ballroom due to inappropriate behaviour in some other room, and the couple was caught."

"Luna wouldn't, of course. She's a good girl," Fleatmont jumped in, trying to save whatever was left of Hope's calmness after what Sirius had said. "But her reputation's sake, she should take a chaperone with her."

"I'll be more than glad to go," Euphemia said, a small smirk coming to her lips. "Walburga Black does always have the best gossips. I'm sure I can feed her some more to make this... situation we are in go away."

"Nobody knows of it, though. Dumbledore said that it was a secret," Hope said, suddenly worried.

Euphemia shook her head.

"He said Remus' condition was a secret, but everybody knows something happened and that Luna was taken to St. Mungus. If you don't want people asking questions, then Lady Black does need to work her magic," Euphemia said. "I hate the woman, but if there's something that she's devoted to, it is gossip and her family's reputation."

"Why would he family's reputation be at risk?" James asked, finally getting involved in the conversation.

"Well, Regulus' courtship partner has taken ill and brought away from school for a few days while she recovered. What illness that Healer Pomfrey cannot deal with?" Fleatmont asked his child.

James thought for a second, but no answer came.

Sirius sighed, annoyed at James' slow mind. "Merlin's sake, James! Blood illnesses or pregnancy!" he answered for his brother.

James winced.

"Luna has a blood illness," he said.

"But it's rarer," Fleatmont said. "What do you think people will think happened?"

Euphemia turned to Hope.

"That she lost the baby due to the worry she felt for her brother when he got sick," Hope guessed.

Euphemia nodded.

And now, without meaning to, Hope understood a bit better of the complicated and twisted game that pureblood people play all the time. She was grateful that the Potters were so willing to take over that responsibility because she had no idea how to move forward after that.

On the silent of their walk from the headmaster's office to their own Common Rooms, Luna closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, enjoying the clear air of the Scottish countryside when compared to London's pollution. Still, with her eyes closed, Remus' eyes on her seemed heavier.

"You already apologised," she told him.

Remus flinched, suddenly surprised with her voice. He had expected her not to speak to him at all since most of the time that they spent left them both in silence, just enjoying each other's company (or hating it, depending on the day they were and how much they had already argued at that point).

"Oh, aye, I did," he agreed, flustered.

"Then stop staring at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable," she said, opening her eyes and raising her eyebrows at him. "Besides, where you're staring it makes this whole situation even weirder, especially to those that don't know what the hell happened," she added, a hand on her sternum while glaring at her brother.

He blushed, understanding what she was trying to say. The image of him just staring at her chest must look very weird for those that don't know of her scars or the extent of it.

"How big is it? The scars, I mean," he said, shifting nervously. "I saw you in tank-tops before and it shows at the very top."

She nodded.

"Near the clavicle to the underside of my breast, here," she said, showing it with her finger, tracing the scar over her shirt. "Right at the rib. It stopped right here, at this rib – it got caught in the bone, you know? The claw, I mean. It got caught in the rib; it didn't break it as most werewolves would've done because of the chains. It gave me time to drag myself away."

He felt his stomach churn and his face grow pale.

"Did it hurt?" he asked.

"Did your bite hurt?" she asked.

"Like hell," he said.

"Then I suppose mine was just barely the purgatory," she answered, shrugging it off as if she didn't care, but the memory itself made her feel sick and slightly lightheaded. "I was young. You were young. It was nobody's fault. I was trying to help you as best as I could and you were suffering more than anyone your age; I crossed the line because nobody thought of explaining how terribly dangerous it really was."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"There's nothing to forgive. It wasn't you."

He shook his head.

"It was me. That thing is me," he said.

She crossed her arms.

"Have you thought that perhaps it makes it better to me if I think that it wasn't my own brother that almost killed me, but something else?" she asked, her annoyance getting to her voice. "That, perhaps, the idea of the werewolf and you being the same creature might be scary for me?"

"You'd do right to be scared of me," he said.

Luna scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I wouldn't fear you even if you wanted me to do be, Remus. You're the least threatening person that I know."

It was oddly comforting to him hearing how non-threatening and harmless he seemed to be, at least to her. Either because of the werewolf or the tall tales that his friends made up about his scars, people that didn't know him too well were scared of him enough to make him feel out of place and the situation excruciating to go through. He wanted to be non-violent, perhaps even helpful, which was the reason he had accepted being a Prefect right away when the badge came to him. To this day, he didn't know why Luna hadn't accepted being a Prefect as well, for she would do a much better job than him.

"Still, I'm sorry that you have to live with this now," he said.

"The symptoms or the scar?" she asked.

"Both."

"You can live with both. Why do you think that I cannot?" she asked.

Again, Luna's nonchalantly behaviour made him comforted, but this time he didn't understand why.

"You're stronger that you seem," he complimented.

"I am your sister after all," she teased, a little smile taking over her lips.

The naturality that she taken to teasing him again made him laugh without being able to control him, making his laugh sound as if someone had punched his stomach and all the air ran out. He wheezed to breathe in again.

"The symptoms... are they like mine?" he asked, once he was ready.

She thought for a moment, pressing her lips together in the very same way their mother would od when she was deep in thought.

"They're weaker, but more constant. According to the Healer's theories, since the virus didn't take over my whole body, it doesn't recognise the full moon as the main trigger, it just triggers whenever it wants, especially when my immunological systems fail to combat something as simple as a flu," she explains. "In general, I feel half of what you do, just more constant... but in full moons, it gets slightly worse, but I don't have anything close to the pain of your transformation. In that, I was lucky."

"You don't sound lucky," he said, bitterness in his tongue at every word.

"It could be worse," she reminded him. "Since it's just in the heart and brain, I can live a somewhat normal life. I can't exercise too much, or fly because of the oxygen and all that, but... in general, I'm well."

Remus thought for a moment.

"The eating?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows at him again in confusion.

"Eating?" she asked.

"Sometimes you don't eat. Is it because of this as well?" he asked.

It took her a moment to gather enough words to answer, and yet – when she did manage to – it was just one word and the act of looking away from him, showing him how that was a line that he couldn't cross. It was a part of her that he couldn't understand, after all she barely understood that herself.

"No."

Remus looked down at his feet as the lengthy silence made him shift nervously from one side to the other, moving his weight around. He had more to talk to her about and he hoped that she wouldn't run away from him.

"And... Sirius?" he asked. "When did that that start?"

"Do you truly want to know?" she asked, not looking at him.

He wasn't sure he wanted to. If he stopped to think too hard on it, he certainly didn't want to know anything.

"I need to," he answered, honestly.

Sniffling, Luna itched her nose before turning to him with a loud, deep breath, preparing herself to tell him the truth.

"Last year, at a party, he was drunk, and I was tipsy – it was one of my first times drinking – when we kissed. He ignored me for a while," she told him. "Then, he ran away from home, came to me and we... rekindled whatever that was."

"You slept together," he said, to show that he understood, voice snappier than he had intended. He cleared his throat but didn't apologise. He looked slightly green in the face, lips curling with disgust at the mere thought. "And then?"

"Then we kept on meeting during the year and then during the summer."

Remus sucked his teeth in before nodding to himself. There was a small piece of the puzzle that he didn't understand.

"How did James find out?" he asked. "Did Sirius tell him?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know if Sirius told anyone. I don't think he did," she said. "But I know that I wrote him a letter and he got mad at me because of it. He had told me not to write, but I had received some information about a girl that was pregnant and saying that the child was his."

Remus almost threw up right then and there.

"Where did you hear that?" he asked.

"It was a lie," she said. "It wasn't his."

"Not what I asked."

She looked away again.

"Sirius and I would meet in an... inn," she said. Remus looked away as well. To meet at inns such as the ones that she was implying meant to meet in bedrooms that one would rent for the hour, not the night. It was a place for lovers, not for refuge. "The owner took me aside and told me that he had been meeting other girls, and I knew that – I mean, of course I knew that, it was Sirius Black after all. And she told me of a girl that had refused the tea after she had asked what it was made from. It was an abortive tea. I took it, no problem, but the girl ended up freaking out. So I wrote to him."

"And James saw your name," he guessed.

She nodded. "And James saw my name."

It wouldn't be too hard to put the pieces together from the on, but Remus' mind seemed to stutter and stumbled over the pieces of information that she had given him, unsure of what to do with all of it.

"And you had no problem with him meeting others?" he asked.

She almost laughed.

"You speak as if I had any control of this. It was either to share or not have him at all," she explained. Remus swallowed. "I think that, had it been you, he would stop seeing others, though."

The boy had to hold onto the wall as his blood seemed to run away from his face, making him as lightheaded as the memory of her own blood seeping through her clothes and onto the floor seemed to make her.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, shocked.

With Luna's respect and love for Sirius gone, she wasn't scared to keep going.

"Sirius Black is in love with you. That was why he was so terrified of his affair with me getting out," she explained. "I didn't know, of course. Otherwise, I think I would have control over myself enough to refuse his advances, but..." she shrugged, unsure of how to keep going. "Now that I know of it, I don't necessarily think he was scared of people finding out, I think he was scared of you finding out."

He had so many questions. Did she hate him because of it? Had she ever felt the bitterness that he was feeling right now? – the jealousy, the anger, the disgust, the self-loathing... Did she know what it was to not look at herself in the mirror? Did the scars bother her? Did they hurt at all?

He couldn't speak.

"Luna!" Pandora had called out, and the moment was gone.

Needlessly flustered, Remus stuttered over words that he had not even meant to start saying, attracting Luna's attention to him once more before stepping back and – without saying a farewell – stumbled away, barely seeing where he was walking as his mind busied itself with more and more information.

Remus wanted to cry, throw up or just... disappear. He wasn't sure which part of it all he needed to do first to make himself feel better.

Luna's welcome by Pandora had been quick and she was swiftly led to where the boys were, taking in the rare winter sun of the Scottish Highlands right before dark, she was glad to walk through the grass even though the humidity made her bones hurt a bit.

Evan was spread out in the grass, 'starfishing' the vitamin in, as he would say had he been asked. Regulus was lying not too far away from him, a book as a pillow and his eyes closed, arm covering half of his face. It was Barty, sitting with his homework, that first noticed the girls approaching and looked up, smiling brightly at the sight, some of his shyness being stripped away with his excitement.

"Luna, you're back!" he said.

She couldn't help herself, she smiled.

"Hi!" she said, waving at him as she walked closer.

Putting his book beside him and getting up to greet her, Barty didn't seem all that surprised that he had not been on his knees yet when Regulus was already standing, walking towards her with his hand palms turned skyward and reaching out for her hands, offering a support that she didn't need after such a walk, but she took his hands in hers anyway.

"You should sit," he said. "You've just been released. Have you eaten?"

Evan, slowly sitting up, grumbled under his breath. "Let the girl breathe." Unfortunately for him, everybody elected to ignore his words.

"We stopped for dinner at a restaurant before coming," she said.

"I see, yes," he said, sounding slightly disappointed. He sat down, almost leading her to do the same, glancing down at her jeans as she sat beside him. "And did the Healers say anything? Is anything the matter?"

His loud worry was new and heartwarming to Luna, even though she knew it was nothing to be surprised about or so infatuated with.

Pandora's worry was mostly silent as she followed her around like a shadow for the first few days after her regress from the Hospital Wing or St. Mungus. Remus' worry usually came down to him waking up during the night and walking to her side of the room, turning on her lamp to look at her or touching her forehead to make sure she didn't have a fever. Her mother's worry was mostly came when she was sick or when she was out of the house for too long (though she had the decency to allow Luna to take walks around the neighbourhood and park, though they weren't in the best part of town; Luna usually took that time to go to the one hotel nearby the park that had a floo connection to meet Sirius). Her father's worries were louder, usually translated into words, not just actions... and hugs, she loved his hugs.

While her mother's hugs were comfort, her father's hugs were safety.

Regulus' arms had been stiff and awkward, but they had been truer than many hugs that she had received in her life.

"Nothing's the matter. It's my heart," she said, shrugging. "It happens sometimes."

"When you're too tired, or too worried," Pandora added. "It's either your heart or your brain that acts up."

She wanted to have the energy to glare at Pandora for disclosing such information, tasteless as she sometimes could be. But she didn't have it in her to do so, so she just nodded and agreed.

Regulus turned to Pandora as if he was going to say something, but closed his mouth and turned to Luna, stopping himself from saying whatever he wanted to.

"Well, then perhaps you should rest?" Evan said, frowning. "We can walk you to the Common Room if you want to retire already. Nobody will blame you."

"I've been unconscious most of the night and morning, please, I don't want to go to bed," she grumbled at him.

Barty bit the inside of his cheeks. "Does it happen often?" he asked.

"Very rarely."

"Pandora said that it was either your heart or brain. If that was your heart, what happens when it's your brain?" Barty asked, curious and worried.

"Convulsions, mostly," she admitted, blushing a bit. The overwhelming feeling of people asking her questions and wanting to know more was making her cower.

Regulus opened his mouth again, but stopped himself... again. It was becoming worrisome and annoying. She wanted to know what he wanted to say, but he was clearly not willing to share it just yet.

He cleared his throat, clearing mustering the courage now that nobody else was talking and he had an opening.

"Are you tired, Luna?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Not physically," she said.

But emotionally, Luna felt like she needed a few days off from seeing anybody in her life (especially her family). Still, she felt that if she went to bed, she wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

"Are you willing to take a stroll with me around the grounds?" he asked.

Perhaps the physical exercise would be able to help her fall asleep once she went to bed.

"Sure," she said, getting up.

Regulus made a hand movement to his friends, which made Evan chuckle and lie back again, turning to his side in a very nonchalant pose to Barty, starting a conversation about something entirely unrelated to Luna or Regulus, roping Pandora into the conversation as well.

He offered her his arm, but instead, she took his hand. He smiled to himself in silence as they walked away, arms swinging slightly as they walked together towards the Black Lake, going to take a walk around it.

"I think that you deserve an explanation of what happened," Luna whispered as they walked, the noise of their footsteps muffled by the grass until they walked to the pebbles. "Things might... change from now on."

He looked at her before looking away again, forward to the path that they were walking.

"I don't need to know anything, clearly it had nothing to do with me," he said, voice cooler than he had intended.

She took a deep breath.

"You know what my brother is," she started the conversation. He didn't answer. "Do you know about yours?"

"Do you mean that he and his friends are Animagi? Yes," he said.

She forced herself not to glance at him, though her mind did register that he accepted Sirius as his brother for the sake of that conversation. She let go of her breath before slowly breathing again. She shouldn't be surprised that he knew of it as well, especially now that she knew that he had found out about Remus somehow.

"They go out every full moon with Remus, so he doesn't stay alone throughout the night, and they noticed that he injuries himself less if he has company," she explained in a low voice. They passed the boathouse and walked onto the docks, stopping in the middle of it. "I suppose that you weren't the only one to notice the small clues that were left behind by my brother's... illness."

"Your brother's affliction is hardly difficult to put together. It's your illness and his personality that protect him," Regulus said. "You get sick all the time, not just the full moon, so nobody really thinks twice about when he is sick. Besides, he's somewhat... submissive; non-violent. That's not the personality people think about when they pretend to know werewolves."

Luna nodded but didn't say anything about it.

"Well, you weren't the only one to overlook those details. Someone else found out about my brother," she said.

His eyes narrowed. "Severus Snape, I'd hazard, according to the fact that Sirius almost killed him," he said.

"Yes," she whispered. She had to clear her throat before she looked up at him again so her voice would come out. "He was making theories, at least. And he caught Sirius and I –"

"You went back to him?" Regulus asked, cutting her off.

He let go of her hand.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"The contract said that you were not supposed to find anybody else while we were together and –"

"No! No. Regulus, no!" she said, shaking her head. "I'd never do that. We agreed –"

"But you wanted to."

"Can you let me speak, bloody hell!" she complained. She went quiet. "I didn't go back to him. I didn't want to, and now there is nothing left between us. We agreed we shouldn't take other people while we were together, and I respect you enough to care about it regardless of the consequences the contract agreed on. I didn't go back to him because I didn't want to, and because he didn't want me."

Regulus wasn't all that comforted at first, until he completely understood what she had said. There was no possibility of her going back to Sirius, not just because the situations didn't allow her to or because he didn't want her back in his arms, but because she didn't want him. And that was enough for him.

"I apologise for my outburst," he said, licking his dry lips. "Go on."

"Snape found Sirius and I talking in the corridor, well, rather arguing really. After you gave me flowers, I mean," she said. "He was upset over several things and ended up throwing that at me and Pandora – don't worry, I put him in his place quite quickly, especially after he went after Panda; no need to make that face."

"Alright."

"And I suppose something we said, or some things I said implied our past relationship enough for Snape to understand the meaning. He threatened to tell you... to tell Remus... to tell everybody," she explained. She pressed her lips together. "I'm not sure what happened. I wasn't there. Sirius panicked; he told Snape how to find Remus during the full moon. Of course, Snape was attacked, James saved him."

Regulus waited for a second.

"And?" he asked. "What happened to make you sick as well?"

"In the Hospital Wing, we argued again, my heart's speed went array," she explained. "I just needed rest, but they took me St. Mungus to make sure it was all that happened. The thing is that now Remus knows about Sirius and I."

His heart seemed to jump and then stop. The very reason that their closeness had started was gone now. Sirius' guilt came out before he meant to, and he was dwelling on his mistakes already.

This was it.

She was ready to finish it all.

He held his breath and closed his mind, preparing.

"Do you want to end this?" he asked.

Luna bit the inside of her cheek, noticing how cold his eyes had gotten, watching the way everything in him closed off, like that one time in Dumbledore's office. Occlumency. He was pushing her away.

"No," she admitted.

Regulus locked his jaw.

"You got what you wanted, didn't you? Why would you continue?" he asked.

She hesitated.

"Because... I enjoy spending time with you," she admits. She hated how her face burned. "We are friends now, are we not, Regulus? And we both know that if we break this off, your parents will not accept our friendship and the rumours will only grow. They'll speak of the fact that we broke up after I got sick – they'll speak ill of you."

"They already do," he dismissed. "I don't need improving in my reputation."

"That's not what I'm trying to say."

"People think me selfish and cruel, which is not too far from the truth."

"Of course it is! You are not selfish or cruel, Regulus," she said, reaching forward to hold his forearms. "You helped me when I didn't deserve it, when I had nothing to offer you at all. That's not something someone selfish or cruel would do."

He looked at her hands resting over his coat. Still, he felt her warmth through his clothes. Perhaps it was what made him so confident to lean forward, taking one little step forward to talk lower and clearer.

"Tell me, what do you want, Luna?" he asked. "My company? My friendship? You can have those things without having to be in a courtship with me. My reputation can take it and so can yours."

She licked her lips, pressing them together again.

"You're one of the only ones that know everything," she said. "And Pandora."

"And Pandora," he repeated, voice just above a whisper.

"It's comfortable and safe, isn't it? Whatever this friendship brings us," she said. "Nobody would question it if –"

"Forget the others," he whispered. "What do you want from continuing this farse? What does this ruse can offer you that my friendship, raw as it is, can't offer you? – status?"

"I don't care for status, and never did," she insisted.

"What do you care for?"

"You."

His heart stuttered before thumping so hard against his chest that he could feel it moving his throat, the blood echoing on his ears as it ran through his body. It wasn't fear. It wasn't anxiety. It wasn't anything that Regulus could name besides it being the feeling that took over him sometimes when he was alone, lonely and quiet in the middle of the night. It took him a moment of staring at Luna to finally understand what made him feel that way.

Desire.

"You can have me as a friend," he said, trying to make sure he wasn't misunderstanding the situation, hoping for the impossible.

"I don't want you as just my friend. I think we can... know each other better before we decide, for certain, what we are to do from now on. Do you agree?" she asked.

"Is that what you want?" he asked.

"It's what I wish for. I can understand if you don't think this will work, of course," she said, blushing and looking down at her feet. "The pressure our families will put on us will be enough to –"

"I want it," he said, cutting her off. She looked up at him, eyes widening. He couldn't understand why she looked surprised – had she not noticed? "I want to try this."

It was like she had slipped, that was how fast Luna had take the half-step separating them from each other to press her whole body against him, arms going around his waist, head resting on his chest. And this time, it took him no more than a second to let his own arms go around her, forcing herself not to squeeze her too tight against him, just gently putting one hand on her back and rubbing it gently.

(It was like how his mother had comforted him and Sirius when they were small enough for her to think that they didn't remember, then, of course that was the way proper hugs were given.)

Luna's eyes fluttered closed and she allowed herself a smile. Regulus pretended not to know that she could hear his heart beating wildly against his ribcage and chest.

They were quite happy and quite normal for one moment.

Are you all surprised? Because I was hoping to make their little talk happen only in the next chapter, but it sounded natural enough to let them talk through the start of their feelings right here.