SO... As many of you know, I absolutely LOVE Hozier, and I went to his concert in Brazil a few days ago in the middle of my exam week. It was amazing... until a girl threw up a few feet away from me and I, as someone with a phobia of vomit, almost fainted. Thankfully, people allowed me to get away from her (and gave me hand-alcohol to smell), which accidently brought me closer to Hozier's stage. IT WAS AMAZING! I posted some of the photographs on Instagram. It was so fun!

Now, back to the story. PAY ATTENTION TO THE TW. I tried to approach the subject through the eyes of teenagers, so it might not be nearly as tactful as I would usually do as a psychologist, so please be aware of it before you continue reading.

TW: ANGST (Luna's eating habits and description of mental illnesses – depression and anxiety, anorexia nervosa). AKA, LUNA GETS DIAGNOSED BY THE AUTHOR.

Luna's weekdays were filled to the brink with things to do, which was her only comfort from her horribly aching heart. On Mondays, her days were divided between mornings of Theory of Alchemy and during the afternoons she was buried in the History of Alchemy. On Tuesdays, she spent the whole day on Safety Behaviours and Protocols in Laboratory. On Wednesdays, she again divided her days in mornings for the Introduction to Anatomy and her afternoons with Introduction to Magical Medicine in Alchemy. Fortunately, she could sleep in on Thursdays, because her classes were only during the afternoon for Modern Alchemy. But her Friday was fully busy until dark with her 'Lab Day.

Her weekends were empty and lonely, so she bent over books for hours and hours to avoid the annoying voices whispering horrid things into her ears.

"Luna?" Mrs Wright called out.

Slowly, Luna raised her head from the Introduction to Anatomy textbook open on the ground in front of her, interested as to why the woman was calling for her.

"Yes, Mrs Wright? Come in," Luna said.

The bedroom door opened, and the woman put her head inside, looking somewhat confused and curious, still she held a smile on her lips.

"There's a letter for you, dear."

Her manicured hands showed a small envelope.

Luna understood Mrs Wright confusion and interest as soon as she saw the parchment and wax seal. The 16th century folding left the whole letter slightly bigger than Luna's palm; that certainly would get the attention of a muggle woman that spent far too much time gossiping about everything around her.

She knew the handwriting with her name scribbled sloppily. Still, so pretty. 'Miss Luna Lupin'.

Regulus had written and somehow managed to get the letter on the boarding house's front desk without getting anybody's attention.

"Oh, yes, thank you," Luna said.

Quickly, she rose to her feet and took the letter, looking at it with attention.

Through the corner of her eyes, she noticed that Mrs Wright had not moved from her spot in her doorway, so Luna took a few steps away from the door and sat back down on the floor, tearing the wax seal and opening the letter. She didn't mind Mrs Wright watching her, as long as she couldn't read the letter.

"Something important?" Mrs Wright asked.

Luna tried to hold back her smile.

"A friend of mine will be in town soon. He expects to meet in a restaurant. We haven't seen each other since we finished school," she answered.

Regulus sounded so excited for the wonderful weekend that he would have free. He was dreaming of her again, and he described the dream in detail – the touch he dared to yearn for, the kisses he could taste even now.

"Today?" Mrs Wright asked.

"Yes," Luna said, folding the letter again.

Mrs Wright hesitated. "And will you come back tonight?"

Luna peeked at the woman still watching her before putting the letter on her bed. The older woman's eyes followed the parchment before turning to look at the girl again, interested and concerned about her answer. However, Luna barely had any shame left to spare.

"Probably not," she answered.

She could easily ignore the way that the judgment seemed to cloud Mrs Wright's eyes as she stared at Luna slowly getting up and walking around the room to put her books, parchment and ink away. Whether the judgment be because of Luna's obvious intentions of sleeping out or it be due to the parchment and ink, which were rather odd for the muggle world, Luna didn't know, and it didn't matter.

"Would you mind leaving me, Mrs Wright. I need to change clothes," Luna said, putting her hands behind her back as she stared at the older woman.

Mrs Wright mouth opened and closed. She had a lot to say, but little confidence to do so. Luna would stare at her with those green eyes, narrowing them in challenge, and suddenly Janet Wright had no words that would make sense.

"Yes, of course," Ms Wright ended up saying. "I'll keep in mind that you won't come back tonight."

Luna forced a smile.

"Thank you, Mrs Wright."

And by the time Luna was leaving the boarding house, Mrs Wright was downstairs, near the front desk to read a book.

"I'll see you in the morning, Luna?" Mrs Wright asked.

The woman looked up and down Luna's body, taking in the denim trousers and the short-sleeved shirt she had on. The obvious image of a muggle girl going out for an innocent task such as buying groceries or something equally as mundane.

"I'll be back by nine, certainly," Luna answered with a smile.

It was somewhat comforting how Mrs Wright would look and catalogue everybody's clothing and try to understand by what time she should expect them all to be back. It was annoying and somewhat patronising, but the truth was that Mrs Wright truly believed she was doing that for the girls' safety. Remembering what they were wearing and what time they were supposed to be back for the sake of knowing details and sharing them with the police. Luna had overheard her saying that she had done the same for her children when they lived with her.

Still, it was annoying.

Quickly, Luna Apparated to Diagon Alley.

Through the very full street during mid-September, Luna kept her head down and made her way through the streets towards the smaller alleys, like the one the small and preferred inn and restaurant was in.

When she walked inside, she smiled at Meera, who was standing near the front desk.

"Luna!" she greeted, voice high-pitched.

"Meera! It's been so long!" Luna said, walking further inside.

"Too long, my dear. Too long. How have you been?"

"I'm well, ma'am. What about you?" Luna asked. She leaned against the desk. "I've been busy with the end of Hogwarts and the start of the Academy."

Meera raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows. "Academy?"

"I'm in the Royal Academy of Alchemy and Potions, the one in London," Luna explained. She smiled and raised her chin in obvious pride. "I've been getting through the classes well at this point."

"You're a very smart person, after all," Meera said, smiling back at her.

Done with the pleasantries, Meera leaned away from Luna and gave another smile, one less genuine, more polite.

"Well, then, what can I help you with, darling?" Meera asked.

Luna hummed. "Some Grey Earl tea and the usual bedroom, please."

Meera gave a little look over her shoulder to make sure the most expensive bedroom in the whole inn was vacant. It was – it usually was. She took the key and quickly threw it to Luna, who took it in the air, smiling thankfully at her.

"I'll throw you some biscuits for free, as usual," Meera said with a smile. "Want to wait for your sweetheart here or will you go up straight away?"

"I'll go up –"

But before she could finish her sentence or start going towards the stairs, the front door opened and Regulus walked in, pulling the hood of his cloak down and running hand through his growing curls.

"Oh, hello, darling!" Luna said.

Regulus smiled, though he didn't exactly look happy.

"Hello, my love," he said.

Meera smirked, quickly whispering something about preparing the tea before leaving the young couple alone.

Luna frowned as Regulus walked closer.

"You look pale," was the first thing she said when he got close enough.

"And you look skinnier than you should," he answered, narrowing his eyes at her. Luna scoffed. "I know my reason for being pale. I don't like to imagine the reason to you losing over a stone in a few months."

"Then tell me why you look so pale, and I'll tell you my weight loss routine," she said, trying to sound funny.

Regulus didn't smile at that. He just leaned on the front desk as well, elbows on top of it, head resting on the wood for a moment. He seemed to be attempting to cool his forehead for a moment before answering Luna's horrible joke.

"Father wants to pass his title off to me already," he whispered.

Luna felt her whole body go cold at once.

"Is your father aright?" she asked.

Regulus looked up at her. "I do believe so."

"Why is he wanting to pass up the tittle to you so soon? You're not even through a single semester of the Academy!" she said, confused.

He looked around for a moment, noticing that the key for the bedroom they usually rented was not on its hook. Luna followed his eyes and raised the key from her hand, shaking it until it made a noise. Regulus looked over and gave a little chuckle, taking the key from her and putting it on his pocket. Silently, he put it on his pocket.

"We should go up," he said, reaching over to run his fingers over the top of her head, gently brushing a few strands of hair.

Luna knew that he had more to tell her, so she just nodded.

Together, they walked up the stairs without touching or talking.

It was only once they were inside the bedroom that Regulus turned to Luna and took a deep breath and said everything he wanted to say.

"Father heard a rumour that the Dark Lod has been protecting those with titles amongst his ranks. He believes I'll be safer with I have it, or at least away from the major battles that will start coming. He says that war isn't fought only on the battlefield, but behind desks, taking major decisions in general – he wants me to be there," Regulus explained. He walked over to the bed and sat on it, legs stretched out and hands on his lap. "He doesn't understand that He already doesn't like me."

"Why wouldn't He like you?" Luna asked, frowning.

Regulus hesitated.

"Because –"

"Because of me?" Luna asked.

"Our relationship and your personality certainly did get attention enough for him to doubt my loyalties," he said honestly.

The way Luna's stomach churned and pulled made her feel nauseated for a second. She tried to focus on her breathing, but it was certainly more difficult with the way Regulus was watching him attentively, trying to find some reaction on her that he could name and fix. Truth was that Luna Occluded it quickly. He was already too busy with so many things; she didn't want to give him something else to worry about – he was already worried because she couldn't eat.

"Snape mentioned that some things were wrong," she said.

His eyes widened.

"And you met him where? Why?" he asked.

"At the Academy, on the tour day," she explained. "He said that you were... loud. I imagined that He had punished you for something."

"He did."

"What happened?"

"I was sad. I'd hazard he didn't like that very much when he came to visit unexpectedly, apparently lying in bed after eleven is considered too lazy or too depressed for his tastes." Regulus sighed and leaned forward, resting his head on his hands and his elbows on his knees. "I knew I wasn't his favourite, of course. I'm too much of a loner to be his favourite, so my networking is far poorer than he expected or wanted at first. Truth be told, I'm quite certain his favourite is Evan at this point – the boy has an extensive network, even if he hates Law Academy completely. He's the perfect candidate: susceptible, well-connected, charming, planning on going into an arranged marriage soon enough, or at least allowing his mother to go around looking for a good enough match for a proper courtship."

"Poor Barty," was all Luna said.

Regulus frowned a bit and pressed his lips together. He, too, had thought about the other boy.

"Evan is doing what he can to climb ranks. I'm just a private in that circle, even with the Dark Mark given to me as a status for my family. Evan is already a lieutenant without any major achievement, just favouritism," Regulus explained.

"Why do you want to climb ranks? You don't even want to be there!" Luna said, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"Because the higher I am, the more power I get. That means nobody will as much as look at my parents, let alone you. Whether they accept it or not – and don't get me wrong by saying this – you're mine. I claimed you. To cross you is to cross me. If I get a good ranking, they wouldn't dare," he explained.

Luna cringed a bit. 'Claimed', what a horrible word! And yet one that was meant to keep her safe.

Much like Mrs Wright cataloguing her every move and outfit, Regulus' possessiveness made her uncomfortable and feel stupid. They both had good intentions despite of their results, however, and Luna could very well see that.

"I can take care of myself," she said. "I'm keeping my head down. Studying and not coming to populated areas unless to meet you, just as we talked about."

Regulus smiled a bit. "You've always been the smart one."

Carefully, Luna walked to the bed, stopping right in front of Regulus, putting her hands on each side of his face and guiding him to kiss her. Regulus went willingly, melting towards her.

Until the knocking on the bedroom door caught their attention.

"Your tea, darlings," Meera's wife, Aaliya, said.

She did not open the door, but Luna blushed, nonetheless.

Once Luna opened the door and took the tray from the woman's hand, she gave a sheepish smile before closing the door with her hip. Luna put the tray over the bed and walked back to the door, locking it.

When she turned, Regulus was already serving them the tea without speaking. He prepared hers just as she liked it, little milk, a lot of honey.

"Have you been eating, Luna? You seem... unhealthy," Regulus said.

"I have not," she answered, leaning against the door while watching him pour them tea. "I cannot."

"Why?"

"I can't keep it down," she said.

Regulus looked at her, frowning at the answer. He was concerned, but his mind seemed to be working overtime to find some sort of explanation.

"You throw it up?"

"Sometimes. Not on purpose. I think I got a stomach flu or something for a while, and I couldn't stop throwing up, so I stopped eating for a while. The thing is that I believe my body grew used to not eating at all for such time and now it's too hard. I can't be bothered," Luna explained.

"That's not a good enough excuse, Luna. You know that you can't take chances, you know how it feels when you don't eat. Your symptoms get worse –"

"They're inconvenient, yes. But I haven't gotten bad seizures in months. I fainted only once!" she said.

He put the kettle away with a little huff, avoiding eye contact with her in his annoyance. She was trying to minimise the situation that he knew far too well to be too concerning to be ignored. Luna was the one that cared the least for herself, throwing the burden of keeping her alive for the others around her, and she didn't even notice.

"That does not comfort me nearly as much as you intended for it to do," Regulus grumbled under this breath.

Luna sighed, walking towards the bed and sitting beside him. She took the tea.

"I have been drinking Lady Potter's teas, though," she added, tentatively. "They have spices on them, and they make my stomach settle for hours on end, so I have been taking breakfast the past week and even eating dinner most nights because Mrs Wright likes soup." She leaned towards him, trying her best to pout. "I didn't do it on purpose, Reggie."

"This time," he corrected.

Luna winced, looking away.

"This time," she agreed.

"Well, I don't have any way to know it for sure," he said, distasteful. "You did this way too many times. You get scared, or angry, or stressed and you just stop eating. It's going to kill you someday! And I'll be the one left behind to deal with losing you."

Her whole demeanour changed, softening at once.

She reached for his hand, holding it gently as he put his teacup back onto the tray. He didn't move away from her.

"You won't lose me, Regulus."

"You don't know that!" he exclaimed. "There's a war ranging on outside, don't make me worry I will lose you to your own habits, Luna. Eat. Sleep. Live a good life. That's all I'm asking of you – and don't get me wrong, I know it's a lot to ask in times like this, but I need you to be well. I need to know that there's someone waiting for me at the end of everything; I cannot fight without something to fight for, someone to fight for."

He didn't want to sound selfish, but Regulus was aware of how truly selfish he was. He didn't care for blood purity like his parents did, and he didn't care enough to fight against it like his brother did – he cared for Luna, and he would fight for the side that would keep her and his family safe, no more and no less than that. If that made him selfish, he would gladly live on with such a word stamped on his back.

Luna felt her face redden.

"I try to eat and I try to sleep, I just can't," she admitted. "Eating feels... wrong. It feels like I'm cheating my own body, like I know it needs something else, and I'm trying to feed it to shut it up. It's like drinking water when you're hungry, it fills you up, but there's a small part of you that know what you're doing and hates you for it. And sleeping is usually followed my nightmares, that is, if it comes at all, because I'm so busy overthinking everything that happened that day or that might happen soon enough – to you or to me – that I cannot close my eyes without jumping off the bed."

Depression. Anxiety. Luna was familiar with those words.

Family members from Spain had attempted to diagnose her through letters to her mother since she was young enough to show her horrible habits of oversleeping or not sleeping at all, overeating or not eating at all. They had tried to tell Hope time and time again that there was something wrong with the way Luna's brain understood the world, but it was never taken seriously. After all, nothing had ever happened to Luna... - unless they counted her dad leaving, unless they counted the bloody scene she saw on her birthday and that weighted on her shoulders for years, unless they counted her brother's animal-self lunging with his chains towards her to kill her, unless they counted the ugly scars on her torso destroying her image in the mirror, unless they counted the way she had been forbidden to play with the other children for so long because of her health and gained weight until she mocked and teased. Unless they counted the way she hated herself and everything that she did to the point that being herself was unbearable.

But Hope never saw that. Hope never understood. All because she loved Luna so much that she couldn't see anything wrong with her, because her baby girl – quiet, understanding, forgiving as she was – was perfect just the way she is.

But Regulus saw, and Regulus hated how easy it was for the darkness to swallow Luna up.

She wasn't sure when her problem with food came from. At first, she thought that it came from the consistent nausea that her symptoms provided, especially near the full moon, but the more grown she became, the more she understood it had to do with control and the understanding of her limits. How many hours could she go before she passed out? How many hours could she go until she gagged without nothing coming up? How many hours until the painful hunger became bliss? – It wasn't about the body or comfort, it was about how she couldn't control how her body shook when she seized but could control every bite of her food.

"I'm trying," she insisted.

"I know you are," he said in response gently.

He gives out a loud, exhausted sigh. He blinked once before turning to look into her eyes.

Such a lovely shade of green.

"I know."

And that was all he could ask of her when he could barely hold the tea that he just sipped in.

Regulus threw himself face first into his bed, ignoring the loud thudding of his heavy books falling all over the floor.

He couldn't be bothered with picking them up and organising them and he usually did. His back was hurting, his head was hurting, and he only had two hours before the next meeting with the Inner Circle to talk things about the next movement, whatever it was that the Dark Lord wanted them to do. As always, he knew he would look down, follow orders and not make trouble for anybody.

He and Evan were lucky in some senses. While Law Academy classes started at six in the morning, far earlier than most Academies, it only lasted until two in the afternoon, releasing them over three hours earlier than most. Luna, for examples, stayed at campus until six in the afternoon; Barty, in a lucky day, was released at five in the afternoon.

With a loud moan of frustration, he tried to think of something that would put him to sleep.

He though of Luna's sigh after she had laughed too hard to the point of her belly aching, he thought of his mother's humming as she walked around the house in search of something else to do. He even thought of his father's monotone voice as he explained another problem at the Ministry at the dinner table.

He thought of Luna's hand, lips, fingers, teeth, eyes,... neck... shoulders... legs... and how they had held his head in place a few nights before as he... --

"Regulus?" Walburga called out.

Regulus jumped in bed, half-awake.

"Mother?" he grumbled against the bedding.

He was lucky his trousers had not responded to his thoughts since he was so tired.

Slowly, his bedroom door opened. His mother put her face in carefully, face in perfect makeup and eyebrows furrowed. She looked uncomfortable with her angry lips pushed together to keep the horrible words in her mind silent, but communicating every single one of them to him through her grey eyes.

"What is it?" he asked, slowly sitting.

"Your... friends are here early," she said.

Confused, Regulus cocked his head to the side. "My friends?"

"Rosier and Crouch," she answered. "They're in the parlour."

Groaning, Regulus sat up and nodded, throwing his outer robes to the side before getting up from the bed while his mother walked away.

He didn't understand why they would come earlier than expected, though he had to admit that his logical thinking was blurred from the exhaustion of the reminder of his time with Luna at the inn. Whatever it was the reason for their sudden eagerness to see Regulus, it had to be good enough to get Barty out of his own Academy early.

As soon as he walked downstairs, he smiled to himself.

Kreacher was serving his friends tea, Evan was talking and telling some story that made Walburga smile, though she was trying hard to hide it.

"Good afternoon," Regulus said.

As soon as he stepped into the parlour, Walburga rose to her feet. "Since you're here, I'll leave you three to it," she said.

Before Regulus could ask what was happening, Walburga was out of the room. Kreacher popped off soon after, though he did give Regulus one last look, not out of concern, but out of something else... something sadder.

Regulus turned to his friends.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Rumours happened. We wanted you to be the first to know," Barty said.

Raising his eyebrows, Regulus crossed his arms. He waited, he didn't urge. The boys talked anyways.

"The Dark Lord is intrigued with your dissertation on Women's Rights Law, backing your father's marriage law," Evan said.

He pressed his lips together.

His father's law, named Age of Marriage Act, had been an attempt to pass a new law with the intention of forbidding any marriage under the age of eighteen, and the only law he pass with the support of both sides of the wizarding politics, including Lord Potter. It had been almost two years since he had written it. He had been refused at first, but it was brought back into discussion in the circles, and Regulus – as a law student – had opinions about it and reasons for the law to be passed. As an Academy lesson, he wrote a long dissertation with over two feet of length in the parchment. It was more than his professor had requested, and the man had even grimaced at receiving it, but Regulus would hazard that the professor had read it and liked it enough.

"Intrigued-amused or intrigued-I'm-going-to-be-punished-in-a-couple-of-hours?" Regulus asked, trying to breathe through his fear.

"Neither! Intrigued-He-wants-to-know-more-and-compliment-you," Evan answered, smirking.

While Regulus felt the relief so loudly that he didn't even acknowledge Evan's words past a little nod. Something else was overwhelming past his relief, it was his disgust. He couldn't understand what he had written that Voldemort would somehow like it – he thought through everything he wrote: neurological function and development under the age, basic understanding of morals and duties thought adolescence, the age of consent of other countries and... -- oh...

Regulus knew it suddenly.

The age of childbirth.

The chances of a girl's survival for the birth after the age of eighteen basically doubled. The woman surviving meant more heirs without bringing another family in, letting more families intertwine in the future.

Voldemort loved the idea of purebloods lasting more generations.

"He'll do so in the function?" Regulus asked.

"Publicly, to honour you," Evan said.

Regulus took a deep breath. "Such wonderful news!" he forced out.

Barty forced a nervous smile. His hands weren't shaking, but his fingers were twisted against one another.

Regulus wondered if he still was taking his potions for anxiety now that Regulus wasn't there to get them for him in the Hospital Wing anymore. With the way his breathing seemed forced and his body was uncomfortable under its own skin, Regulus imagined that it was not something Barty had worried about.

"He's talking of promotion, Regulus," he said.

While the news was certainly welcome, for that was what Regulus had been fighting for a while, Barty seemed anxious with that information. He narrowed his eyes at his friend in confusion, but Barty shrugged with a single shoulder.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Barty asked.

"Don't we all want to be promoted?" he asked, carefully.

Barty gave another smile, this time a bit more marauder and genuine.

"Some of us are glad about being low soldiers, privates in our life and ignored by those around. I got the Dark Mark, I'm safe. I'm already Inner Circle. I got too much on my plate to want more," Barty said.

The London Academy for Archaic Studies, which had Ancient Runes and Archaic Languages, was certainly hard to get in and even harder to keep oneself floating on top of the mess of grades and texts. Barty was certainly working hard with the obligatory internship the students had from the very first semester in the Ministry. Besides, his anxiety made him unbelievably bad at social interactions and being under the spotlight a higher ranking could bring him.

Evan huffed. "Your lack of ambition is frightening. You should've been a Ravenclaw!" he said.

Barty rolled his eyes, eyes jumping to Regulus in concern before turning back to his boyfriend and glaring.

"I do have ambition, but I focus on other things," he answered.

Regulus pulled his ankles closer to his body, under the chair.

Evan looked at his friend and pressed his lips together, suddenly thinking that the word 'Ravenclaw' was a trigger. He seemed sorry for a moment before swallowing it up and turning to Barty again, smirking at him.

Trying to calm his friends down, Regulus shrugged and leaned back on the chair, watching the interaction with interest.

"I've been wondering about this 'Inner Circle' thing, actually. Do you think that's an actual thing? I mean, so many people we know got the Mark. I'm starting to wonder if that's actually as important as they made us think when we got it," Regulus admitted.

Barty turned to look at him, giving him a quiet warning, but it was too late, Evan had already turned to look at Regulus with narrowed eyes in absolute horror.

"Are you doubting the Dark Lord?!" Evan asked.

"No. I'm doubting the exclusivity of our association," Regulus answered, minimising the situation.

Barty hesitated.

"You never ask about things like that, Regulus, so people don't usually talk about it with you, but the truth is that we have a lot more soldier than you think. Your lack of interest in the cause has been a favourite subject in some circles, but it's nice to know that you have been holding your tongue for the sake of suspicion, not out of boredom," Barty said.

Regulus bit the inside of his cheek.

He smiled, though he could taste blood.

"I'd do anything for the betterment of our cause, Barty, but I can't trust everything and everybody. One person saying or hearing the wrong thing might end my future career," Regulus lied.

Evan leaned back on the sofa he was in, putting his arm over the backrest, lounging lazily and comfortably.

"Good to hear that, Reggie, because I requested a Second-Lieutenant," Evan said. He smiled. "I could not imagine anyone better than you, nor anyone I would trust better than you, my best friend."

Regulus made no mention of the nickname; he just stayed silent and kept on smiling.

His own blood tasted bitter. 

If you are struggling with any sort of mental health procress, please, search for help. There are hotlines with people that are ready to talk to all of you in every country you can think of. While I cannot know the hotline for every country, please feel free to put them in the comments!

You are worthy of love, attention and understanding. You are worthy of food. You are worthy of care. I care. A lot of people care.