"Why are you leaving mommy? Daddy why is mommy leaving us?!" I frantically ask, desperately reaching for her.

Her eyes never once look into mine as she tries to construe her sudden departure.

"Mommy has to go get better okay? Mommy has to heal princess" She speaks softly, gripping at her duffle nervously.

"She doesn't need your sorry ass excuse Jessica! Just get the hell out of here!" Daddy spits, gently throwing me over his shoulder.

"Robert! Don't speak to me in that why in front of our child!" She defends, dropping her duffle furiously.

Mommy and daddy always argued. But they always would love each other and worked it out, now she's leaving us. All because of daddy.

"Bull shit! She isn't your child. No child needs a drug addict as their mother dammit! Get out of here Jessica or this time I will call the authorities!" Daddy screeches, turning to walk away.

"You son of a bitch! I swear I'm going to get better and when I do, I'll see you in court for our daughter!" She fumes, scooping up her duffle.

With silence as daddy's reply, she blows me a simple kiss and leaves.

From that day onward, I waited for her after every practice, after waking up each morning, and after returning home from school. Each day I waited, each day she never emerged. The day I gave up was the day I realized I was finally abandoned with my mother.

Also on the day I surrendered my hope, I vowed silently to never do the same to my own child. Never will I abandon my child the way my mother abandoned my father and I. The past will not become a repetition.

Each night I dream of the sweet memories I have of my mother. Jessis Genivia Rose, a beautiful wild flower who shone brightly beneath the lights of a stage. She danced, she sang, she acted. She was a perilous and a jack of all trades. Compassionate, feisty, and even the more selfish. At her prime, she was beginning to sprout among the other young starlets whom were also young proteje's.

But, she was different. She had something that the others didn't, stage presence. The others could not captivate an audience the way that she could. The other's could not receive the grace of an standing ovation the way she did. The others were simply unable to measure against Jessica Genivia Rose. The others also couldn't capture the heart of Robert Lee Edmond as she did either.

When my parents met, "It was love at first sip", Father would explain when I asked as a young girl. " We met during a meet and greet in Europe. Your father just waltzed over to me and said..." Mother would lull in giggles, waiting for father to complete her sentence. "Well aren't you the nicest belle of the ball. How about I buy you a drink and you tell me your name, while I marvel over your beauty eh?" Father would reenact. I would only smile as I watch my mother and father in their happiest moments, reminiscing of old times.

In those moments, we were an happy family. The entire New York knew this. But what New York and I didn't know, was that mother and father were struggling. Mother was severing countless injuries due to her late night bar corals. Father was struggling to lift his dance studio up from the ground. Times were getting hard, and so was family life. Laughter evaporated into the air only being condensates with scowls and bickering. The Edmond's household was falling apart before my eyes and the result, my mother grabbing a duffle bag and promising on a return.

That return never happened.

"Jesse? I just came to check on you before I go on sta... Jesse what's wrong?" He asks, entering the dressing room.

Michael has finally began his first leg of his Bad tour. I was more than elated to be the witness of his project as he tirelessly worked towards this vision of his. Every night he laid awake with me until I fell asleep only to slip out of the bed and privately rehearse that one move, that one spin, that one step. "I have to work it until it's perfect" I would hear him explain to Frank.

The man is never satisfied, even now he is still returning from rehearsals, cursing himself for missing that one tik. His behavior sadly is the effect of his fathers upbringing in the entertainment business. Somehow though it's a bit hard to witness, his magic always ties everything together and he rests easy knowing he did the best he could.

"Jess... babygirl, talk to me" He whispers, kneeling down to my level.

I've been a bit emotional lately. Sobbing over old memories of my mother and father. I even experience dreams of the day she left, repeatedly replaying in each dream. The way her eyes guiltily fell onto the tile of our New York town house, and especially the way she blew a simple kiss and left. All of those memories have become overwhelming to me. With Michael now on the first leg of his tour, I haven't been able to set aside appropriate time to talk to him about my dreams or my ravaging emotions. I just didn't want to burden him.

"Have you been crying? God, babygirl, why have you been crying? Please tell me something" He pleads, sitting down to cradle me in his arms.

I inhale deeply, trying to draw back the threatening tears.

I don't want to cry. I can't cry. I won't cry.

Instead of pushing further for an answer, he sighs softly and rocks us back and forth, cooing for assurance that I will be okay. The more the second tick by, I realize he isn't going anywhere. I'm being selfish to keep him here and away from his fans. It's not fair to him or his fans.

"I just had a really bad headache. It was excruciating. I'll be fine. I'll be out in a minute" I finally speak, my voice weak and hoarse.

Still he rocks me, evidently not believing my words. That's the exact that that makes Michael special, his undying love to help those in need. Whether it be charitable, or just for an old friend, he's there to lend an ear and a hand. And when it comes to me, I can't explain the way he spoils me with an abundance of affection. He'd sacrifice anything, just to make sure I'm happy and healthy.

"Michael... You should go. I know Frank will be looking for you soon" I force a smile.

Glancing at the miniature father clock behind us, he sighs heavily but still doesn't budge.

"He'll be just fine. I'm worried about you right now Jess"

"Baby I'm fine. Really, I am" I falsely assure him.

Standing up he offers his hand.

"Come with me" He instructs with a gentle smile.

I obey, sliding my nimble fingers into his slender one's. Once I'm standing upright, he leads us onward to the door and opens it. Upon opening the door, the roar of fans instantly mutes any words that he can possibly say. I desperately listen for his instructions as he leads me through the back stage.

"I don't know if you would like to, but I asked the technical crew if it would be okay, if you could sit in the directors room. It's quite in there, but you can still see me through th glass. No one will see you though, but you also have headphones to still enjoy the concert. Just privately" He explains, once we approach a grey door after climbing a resembling pair of stairs.

"So I can watch you from here? By myself?" I repeat.

He nods, shrugging a little.

"Bill will be up here with you while the back up guards along with Rafael and Scotty will be backstage. I just want you to be safe so I won't have to worry. With you being up here, I know you'll be safe" He reasons.

Glancing around the dim room, I try to find a bit of excitement. The room has a simple setting. An older model of an XPX soundboard, with small rolling stools. The only thing comforting about the room is the decorated small section in the farther back into the room, where a mini lounge is set up. All I can say is that Michael did indeed try.

"I know it's not the best place, but it's the best Bill and Frank could come up with until the next concert. I promise I'll come check on you exactly after the concert. I'm sorry" He partially smiles in disappointment.

My poor baby.

"No, baby. It's fine. I like the little lounge with the fridge and the television. At least I won't be bored and hungry" I reason, walking over towards the lounging area.

"You don't have to agree to make me feel better babygirl, I know it's terrible. But, right now I have to go. I want to talk after the concert as well, but I love you and will be thinking about you during the concert okay?" He smiles, walking up to me only to presence his lips with mine.

It seemed like forever that he hadn't let go, until we could no longer catch a proper breath. Releasing the kiss, his caramel cheeks burn a bright apple red as he chuckles.

"I should go now..." He whispers.

I nod, watching him ever so slowly back away.

"I love you Jesse Rose" He whispers aloud, opening the door.

"I love you too Michael Joseph..." I reply.

"Bill will be hear any minute. Bye now" He lingers, frowning a bit.

"Go Michael... Your fans need you" I scold, holding back giggles.

Sighing heavily one last time, he mouths 'I love you' and disappears behind the door. I smile to myself at the beautiful creature that will soon grace the stage before me. For the first time, in a long time, I don't mind being the lucky fan that just so happened to attract Michael Jackson. It is definitely a blessing and a curse, but I couldn't ask for more especially with the news I've kept locked away.

My adolescent promise will reign into this secret and I only pray that I'm ready for whatever occurs afterwards...

To Be Continued...