chapter seventeen
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

There was much to be said about a hypocrite, but Maeve didn't exactly pause to judge herself for what she did next.

     Two hours.

     One hundred and twenty minutes.

     Seven thousand and two hundred seconds and she was giving in. To desire, to need, compulsion, she couldn't describe what it was just yet, but it had her driving back to Fox Tower after two measly hours and knocking on the boys' door. Aaron answered, raising his eyebrows in silent question as she strode inside and dropped a few takeout bags in the kitchen.

     "Eat." She said simply.

     Her feet led her to the bedroom and she was shutting the door, clicking the lock into place before it fully settled what she was about to do.

     Kevin laid unmoving up in the loft and she took a deep breath before kicking off her shoes and climbing the ladder. It was impossible for them to not touch in such a small space and the feel of him against her exposed skin sent a searing heat through her body.

"Is Andrew keeping his promise?" She was careful to phrase her words.

"Yes."

"Then why are you moping?" She watched as his leg, maybe unconsciously, moved closer to her own,"You've got your protector, your striker sub, your team's fractured, but together again nonetheless, I don't appreciate the thought of a whiny boyfriend."

"Not dating." He said simply.

She faced the wall to her right and his left, her fingers moved on their own, thumb twirling the ring on her index finger as she sighed,"Are you really gonna make me do this?"

"No one makes you do anything, Maeve, if nothing else, you've made that perfectly clear."

The frown on her face didn't move an inch as she continued fidgeting,"You have to understand... this isn't exactly easy for me."

"And you think it is for me?"

"Well then what the hell are we doing here? What's the game plan? I tried staying away for a day and I didn't even make it that, look at me, you think you're a mess? I'm pathetic, I called Neil out on his trust issues, but I can't even talk to my godmother, my once a week sessions aren't exactly going places, and for some reason I want to be around you."

     "Pretty big change from turning to me on the sidelines to flip me off or curse me out at every chance you got." Kevin was sitting up now.

     Maeve groaned, dropping her face into her hands and deciding fuck it before saying,"Matt thinks we've been into each other from the start and the glares were code for eye fucking."

     She could hear his surprise in his voice,"You, uh... you told him?"

     "No." The word was muffled.

     Kevin took her hands into his own and she sighed again,"He's mentioned you in passing a few times, and knowing him and those obsessive gamblers, there's probably a few bets floating around. He probably thought if he mentioned it enough times he could get a confession out of me and win his pot, but I'm not a sharer, it's why the Wymack and Abby bet is still going—"

     "About that one—"

     She shook her head,"Not our place, Day." Her fingers now traced the scarring on his palm,"Which brings us back to this."

     "I've been with one other person and it wasn't exactly the model relationship, I'm not a single person's dream boyfriend and Exy eclipses most other things in my life." He seemed to think it over before adding,"After you left... Andrew and I talked. He told me... he told me to stay away from you."

     "Or what? He won't protect you?"

     "Not in so many words, but I wouldn't be surprised if he brought it down to that."

     "He wouldn't."

     "Can you guarantee that?" Kevin frowned.

     "From what you explained, Andrew made you an honest to God promise and he never breaks those." Maeve spoke from experience, but she wouldn't mention that yet, instead she said,"He may be an asshole, but if he told you he'd get you through this then he will without a doubt."

     "You never hesitate."

     "What?" Maeve asked.

     "That's one of my favorite things about you that I've learned." Kevin shifted closer,"You're always sure of yourself and your actions."

     "This probably won't help my case, but I wasn't exactly sure of my coming here."

     "Why not?"

     Another sigh escaped her,"Ready for another puzzle piece?"

     He nodded and she thought to mention he didn't hesitate then, but instead she gave him a nod back while fighting the urge to look away from his hypnotic green gaze.

"I told you Matt and I used to hook up, we filled a void for each other, him because he was beginning to have a thing for Dan and she'd never go for him and me because... there was also someone I wanted and couldn't have." Maeve paused, wanting to gage his reaction, but Kevin didn't interrupt and she continued,"Her name was Finn— Finley, she's a biochem major, we met at a party and I was convinced I was halfway in love with her before she'd even told me her name. I was also sure that there was no chance, but eventually we were together. Only for a short while, it was after I'd begun the process of getting clean again, and everything was going well enough."

     "Obviously that first meeting was exaggeration and it wasn't love, just a really strong like, but I was still positive that if I gave myself time I could completely fall for her. She was the first one to say that she had, fallen for me, I mean, but I couldn't say it back yet, and I told her that. She told me she understood and we kept seeing each other, not as often because of her heavy school load, and eventually not at all when she started going out a lot. She claimed it helped relieve her stress about class, it started with weed, but then she started going for the heavy stuff and I didn't trust myself enough yet to be around. She started telling me to let loose and that I wasn't being myself when it was the complete opposite and she was the one acting like a different person, and then..."

     She felt the weight of Kevin's hand on her knee and it reassured her enough to finish, she made sure she didn't look away now as she said,"One night, when I wouldn't go out and party with her again, she turned and slept with one of our friends. She said it was an accident." Maeve scoffed,"He said they were both high and the other was just there and basically tried to blame me for not being at her side."

     Maeve briefly assessed Kevin's face and it pleased her a little more than it should when he looked angry for her. She gave a slight smile,"I was so mad I broke his nose and told the soccer coach he was doing drugs."

"He got kicked off the team?"

"Mhm."

"Good." Kevin's finger began slow motions back and forth on her skin,"And her?"

"Not as satisfying of a conclusion." Maeve did look away then,"I know it wasn't my fault and that in no way was I responsible for her, but I got her help anyway, I called her mom and she was pulled from school to go to rehab. I haven't spoken to her since and I don't plan to ever again, if I ever saw her again I'd probably break a bone or two of hers too." She shrugged,"So moral of the story, I guess neither of us knows what we're doing."

"But we're not gonna let it stop us."

Again, there was no room for hesitation as he palmed her chin and blue eyes met green. She smirked,"No, I don't think we will."

"Good." He said again, dropping his forehead down to meet hers before he kissed her, pulling away when he remembered he hadn't been alone earlier,"What'd you do with Aaron?"

"Nothing, he's eating, I figured you all were too distressed to think to feed yourselves." Maeve shrugged as she made her way down first and grabbed her sneakers,"Plus Andrew has the car, c'mon, I got us Mexican food."

     Kevin followed her out of the room and when they entered the kitchen, Nicky had rejoined them again and was in the process of a rant. "I'm too young for this, Aaron, at this rate, I'll turn gray before I'm thirty!"

"You need to relax." Maeve ignored his surprised stare as she took the bag away from him and started setting everything out herself, Aaron looked like he'd already finished so she served enough for the other two and herself. Since Andrew wouldn't be coming back for the night, she got comfortable.

"As a matter of fact, I plan to." Nicky grinned mischievously,"We're going to Columbia this Friday and it's gonna be sick!"

Maeve swallowed her spoonful of rice and beans,"Columbia? You're taking Neil?"

"Andrew's orders." Nicky shrugged,"You know how he is."

She frowned,"All too well."

"Enough about him." Aaron finally cut in as he leaned back in his chair, he didn't clarify which 'him', though Maeve guessed either could count,"Let's just try for a meal in peace, alright? Video games after and then bed, today's been enough of a freak show."

"Hear, hear." Nicky agreed, happy to fill the void with mindless chatter about all the other things that captured his interest.

Maeve ate the rest of her meal in silence, letting them talk while she observed. When they moved over to the living room to watch Nicky and Aaron battle it out in whatever game of their choosing, she didn't think as she aligned herself beside Kevin, every inch of her touching every since of him. He dropped his hand onto the knee that wasn't touching already his, she leaned her head on his shoulder, and his roommates were too distracted to even notice them.