chapter thirteen
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"And that's why she got me Echo, she doesn't think I can handle it, she wants me to have to turn to people and I already fell for it once. I mean, it's diabolical, it's... well, I can't even be mad about it, it's a good fucking plan, I'll give her that, I even texted her that."

"You actually have Betsy's number saved?"

Maeve paused.

"... no... I had to go through Abby's contacts, but when I found it, I texted her."

A laugh,"What'd you say?"

"Betsy: 1, Maeve: 0."

That. Matt burst out laughing and her indecision to call him solidified, she didn't regret it, not one bit. She could always be herself around Matt and he was good at keeping her from shutting down, good at making her talk like this would be her last chance to say anything ever, in short— he made her a Chatty Cathy. She smiled to herself, knowing he'd be able to hear it in her voice as she spoke again.

     "You know, Matt... I think you might be my best friend."

     "Finally ready to admit it, are you?" He scoffed, but he was smiling too, he had to be.

"Yep, and with this admission will come—"

"Oh, here it comes."

She rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see her,"Yes, here it comes, forgive me for wanting you to be happy."

"I am happy!" He cried out, but the crack in his voice toward the end said otherwise.

This time she sighed,"Look, Matt, I want to trust that you are, but at the same time I just want you to know that it's okay if this thing with Dan isn't all you dreamed it up to be."

"It is." He promised.

"Okay." Deep inhale, slow exhale. "But I'm here if it's ever not... I'm here for you."

"I know." Matt assured, grumbling something she couldn't make out before saying,"Now what about you?"

"What about me?" She scrunched up her face, he better not be insinuating what she thought he might be about to insinuate.

"What have we said about stupid questions?" He scolded before explaining,"Look, I may not be his biggest fan, and you certainly haven't shown to be a fan, but we can all see the weird tension you've got going on."

"Who?" She feigned cluelessness, sure that he was now rolling his eyes at her.

"Kevin."

"Gross." She shot back, almost instinctively.

"Uh huh." He laughed,"I'll believe that when you two aren't eye fucking across the court."

"We have not—"

"Yes, you have. When he was on the sidelines with Coach, all the time. There wasn't a second you weren't looking at him or he wasn't finding an excuse to go off on you— hey, maybe that's his kink."

Ignore him, she told herself, but she couldn't help how curious she was as, against her better judgement, she asked,"What kink?"

"You know, like it turns him on when you get angry and yell at him."

"Gross." She meant it this time.

"Hey! I know a few guys who are into a little push and shove." He defended.

"Like yourself with Dan?" She mocked.

"Nah, I tried the mean girl thing out with you and we all know how that turned out." He teased her right back, and she could hear him giggling as he did so. Yep, they were now at the point where they made jokes about their previous weak attempt at a relationship, which was really more of a five month friends with benefits period that should've run it's course much sooner than it did because it was actually less benefits and more random Rite Aid ice cream runs and mutual pining over those they couldn't have.

"Whatever." She scoffed. "You're insane and blind, and so is Abby."

"See! Even Abby's noticed it!"

"No." The sourness crept into her tone now, her walls slowly building up again,"She just thinks something could be going on— it's not."

"Sure about that?" Matt pressed.

"Yes. Very."

"Okay." He chuckled before mimicking,"I'm here if there ever is— here for you."

     They talked for a while longer, Matt brought up moving day and apologized for not being able to stop by before leaving to check on her when it was her who owed him an endless amount of sorries for the way she treated him most days. He asked her if she'd punched anyone — Kevin, the twins, or Nicky — yet and she asked about his mom. They discussed what language she'd learn next and she mentioned Abby's frequent outings, he wanted to bring them up to the team because they had a bet going in regards to Abby's relationship with Wymack, but Maeve liked ignoring said bets (it was funnier to sit back and watch it all crash and burn in her opinion). And just as they were getting ready to hang up, because it was ridiculously late, she stopped and spoke his name.

     "Yeah?" Matt waited patiently.

     She gulped,"Thanks for being my friend, I know I'm not the best one in return—"

     "Nope." He cut her off,"None of that. I don't care, you're the best in my eyes, I know how hard you try and all the shit you've been through, and I'm not having any of your bullshit."

     "Thanks for that too." She grinned,"For still calling even when I don't answer right away..."

     "You're welcome."

     His voice took on a rough edge because he was fighting sleep just to stay with her, so she decided to cut him loose.

     "Alright, well, that's all I wanted to say, just thank you..."

     "G'night, Evie."

     Her smile grew a little wider,"Goodnight, Matty." And then, just as she was going to press the end call button (since Matt made a point to never hang up first, on anyone, ever), she breathed out,"I love you."

     She didn't need to hear it back, nor did she think she wanted to, so she terminated their call before heading out of her room with her keys in hand, prepared to ignore any further calls from him until he called her from the road in a few weeks time. And to think she claimed Dan was manipulative... the truth being that maybe she was, but Maeve?

     Maeve was worse.

     Eyes fixed on the ceiling, on the dark blue paint that coated it and the splatters of white that somehow glowed now that the lights were off, Kevin sighed. It was his turn on the blow up mattress and he couldn't get comfortable.

He'd told himself summer would be endless practice, as much time on the court as he could possibly ensure before it felt like his limbs would snap off. Instead, his mind felt it necessary to run laps for Maeve. And his senses followed suit, filling themselves with her— her voice, her scent, the feel of her mouth and body. Her. Her. Her. He couldn't focus on anything else and it might've been made worse by the fact that she was intent on ignoring him.

Every day he'd gone to the court and every day he come back to her up on the roof, not a single word returned back to him when he went up to retrieve her for dinner.

They'd only kissed three times.

Don't lose sleep over it, played over and over in his head. He knew she'd been lying about Andrew, something had occurred between the two, something serious. He would've asked Andrew by now if not for the fact that the other man enjoyed nothing more than to tell him 'no'. It was with that thought at the forefront of his mind, that he stood up and left the room, relief swelling in his chest at the fact that Aaron was a heavy sleeper and he wasn't far behind her as she shut the front door.

He didn't miss a beat, locking it again after his exit and following her down the driveway to where her bike was parked at the curb.

"Not tonight, Day." Was spoken at him.

"Not ever, right?" He couldn't help the scoff that slipped past his lips, he didn't understand this weird relationship between himself and Maeve. He couldn't throw it back in her face that she'd claimed they'd been moving too fast when she'd been so understanding toward him before. They weren't friends, never spoke unless it was to yell at one another, and yet...

An invisible string kept pulling him to her.

"Don't worry, I'll be back in time to make breakfast." She'd been in the middle of saying when he'd cut her off with his sharp words. She hesitated before meeting his eyes.

They hadn't spoken in a couple days and that was what she'd chosen to go with? He scoffed again when she decided to surprise him.

     "Get on."

     She was already positioned on her bike, except now she held out her helmet to him and he couldn't help gaping.

     "What?"

     "I don't ask twice."

     "You didn't ask, period." He said, only to be met with a look that said she really wouldn't repeat herself and only he would regret not fulfilling her request.

     "Shouldn't you be wearing this?" He asked as he took the helmet.

     "Andrew would kill us both if we got a single scratch on your pretty face and you know it." She rolled her eyes as she swiped up the kickstand, his hands instinctively gripped her shoulders as she found a balance with his added weight, only turning her head back slightly to say,"You also have to know that that hold's not gonna last, I don't bite."

     "Liar." He shot back, moving his hands from her back to her waist just as she sped off without warning.

     They didn't speak, nor did he even want to attempt to over the roar of her motorcycle. At one point, he lost track of how long and far they'd driven and lifted the visor of his helmet, watching as the world blurred by. He considered for a second that maybe it was the reason Maeve enjoyed fast paced things so much, with everything unclear you almost didn't want to think, you could lose yourself in it. He wondered if that was what she did.

When they stopped, it was in front of a dark house with a splintering porch and boarded up windows. As he looked around, he realized the entire neighborhood was pretty slummy.

Kevin frowned,"What are we doing here?"

He hadn't expected her to stop, he figured she didn't care for destinations and just drove the entire night away — though where she got her gas money from, he didn't stop to think about — but here they stood, in front of a neglected house. Someone's neglected house, because there weren't any "for sale" signs up as far as he could see, nor any cars in the driveway.

Maeve bit the inside of her cheek, and he could see her nail forcing the skin back on her thumb's cuticle. She inhaled deeply before letting out a sigh he could tell weighed heavy on her, and then, she met his eyes,"This is my house."

"But you live with Abby." He said, not a question, as he tried to map out the stages of her life and when she could've possibly lived here. He came up extremely short, for the only things he knew about her revolved around Exy and when Palmetto drove her into the spotlight. Before that, he knew nothing. Even the sports magazines had trouble painting her past.

"Now." She agreed, turning to face the house now, almost as if she was giving him a moment to soak it all in and come to his own conclusions. Then she said,"You wanted me to give you something in return... there's a lot you don't know about me, it might be a lot, just... you've gotta be patient, okay? Take it in pieces, like a puzzle, let's call this your corner pieces."

And then it clicked.

He remembered hearing things, briefly, because while Maeve wasn't famous, collegiate Exy makes people look your way, and look they had. Unfortunately, besides speculation about her background and articles on her past featured in magazines that included more gossip than actual news, no one ever got much, it mostly followed her Exy career. "Not a team player" and "aggressive" were always the phrases thrown around to describe her. But... but...

A mysterious gap year. He remembered the headline— Kingston for Foxes. He'd heard what a fight Wymack had had to put up to get Maeve on the team, how she hadn't even properly finished up school and that it wouldn't be smart to outnumber the boys considering the Foxes were already so disliked, and lastly... how they didn't even know where she was.

She confirmed his thoughts when she spoke again,"It's where I lived when I was eighteen. I didn't buy it or anything, I didn't even have any money." She was biting her right cheek again, she gulped,"I hate the phrase "run away from home" because it insinuates you had a place you felt safe, and as far as I was concerned, I never did at my grandparents. I'd only lived with Abby all of a year when they decided to reopen the court case."

"Custody battle?" He asked and she nodded.

"Round two." She sat down at the curb and he followed suit. "My grandparents never thought my mom was good enough for my dad, they weren't wrong about that. My parents... they got married fast and had me young, and that was only their first mistake, because while everyone thought she wasn't good enough for him, it was her that got it into her head that he wasn't ever gonna be... not just good, but enough. She cheated for years and dragged me into it, and I felt guilty, sure, but after... she was happier, and she and dad actually got along, or I don't know, I guess I just thought they did since eventually they split and fought over me. Anyway, not my first rodeo. When I was with Abby, though, it was different, I hadn't seen her in years, I almost didn't remember her, but when she got me it was like..." Maeve paused,"She didn't just get me, she had me— she actually cared, asked me what I wanted when no one else did."

He frowned,"Why didn't you just tell them you wanted to stay with Abby? Don't they ask you in court before a decision is made?"

"We never got there." She shrugged,"It went on for two years, back and forth, Abby isn't rich, I'm sure you've noticed, and I didn't want to keep making her life a miserable hell just for her to have to put up with me so I left. I was turning eighteen soon so a big fuss wasn't made, either way it was all a big waste of all our time. I didn't even finish school, I just left with whatever clothes I was wearing that day and a wad of cash — "allowance", from my grandparents, to help convince the judge they were better caretakers than Abby — I had stashed away in an empty paint can."

"So how...?"

"Did I end up here?" She sighed,"Abby never gave up on me— I haven't spoken to my grandparents since that year, but Abby... she was relentless, she recruited Wymack to help, they hired a PI, she had to have asked him for money. I'm good at running, but that wasn't my intention, I just didn't want to be a burden. I always liked South Carolina better than California and maybe subconsciously I didn't want to completely ditch Abby."

"There were some people." She focused on the flap of skin on her nail again,"They weren't good. I'm sure you've heard shit about me. I won't fool you. Addictions are tricky, Kevin."

"In what way?" He couldn't stop looking at her, even if she refused to look at him. He wanted to hold her in the moonlight.

"Seeing Abby see me... like that... it made me feel guilty, I didn't hesitate coming back with her, I think I made it worse having stayed so close, all her searching just for me to be right there... my room at her house was exactly as I'd left it, she held back her tears, but she didn't stop smiling. I went up to the roof for the first time that day, I think she might've been scared that I'd left again because Wymack cornered me the second I came down, same hard stare he always wears, and told me one word: enough. I didn't ask him which part— me hurting Abby, hurting myself, the hiding... it was all of it and I understood, so that was that."

"He offered me a contract, I told him I hadn't graduated and he said it wouldn't be a problem and I said okay. He helped me get everything together so I'd get my GED and then personally drove me to Palmetto to enroll. Even with all that, though, I couldn't stop myself from turning back to drugs, I'd been around them when I lived with my mom — not that it's an excuse — and again during that gap year, and Matt was involved, it's why Abby's so wary around him, she thinks it was his fault, but we happened after I'd already fallen back into those habits."

"You were together?" Kevin asked, swallowing to get rid of the sour taste in his throat and failing at getting rid of it.

She didn't bother hiding her grimace.

"We hooked up and filled our bodies with bad shit, but... at the end of the day, it was more like we'd get together and lament the people we couldn't have, then turn to each other as opposed to the numbness."

He found himself hating that.

So he changed the subject.

"You said you didn't feel welcome at your grandparents, but you didn't say that about being with Abby. You said it was different." She nodded, waiting for his question. "You ran away from her too though, does that mean you didn't consider Abby's place home either?"

Maeve chuckled,"I've never been able to bring myself to call her house my home."

"Why?"

"That piece is a little closer to the middle." She turned away from him slightly,"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, yeah?"

     He wasn't given time to agree as she declared,"Your move, Day."

     Kevin took that in stride, cupping her chin in his left hand and giving her the out to reject him. Instead, she leaned into his scarred palm, and he kissed her.