chapter twelve
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The court door slammed shut behind her as Maeve made her way toward the center, she tied up her hair and began putting on her gloves. From where she stood she could perfectly see the others, Kevin sulking on the other side of the plexiglass, Aaron and Nicky sitting back on the bleachers— one rose his eyebrows at her when their eyes met and the other shot her two thumbs up and a beaming grin. Andrew was already in goal, leaning against his racquet as he waited both Maeve and Neil out.

When the latter finally showed up in his full gear, Maeve put on her helmet. She tried to picture how she and Andrew must look to him, the proclaimed team psycho and the ex drug addict who was always angry. They were a joke, and Wymack continued to make them look so.

He slowed as he neared her, looked behind her at the others and then said,"Just you?"

Clearly Kevin hadn't sent out the memo to everyone. She smirked,"Does that scare you?"

Sure, she didn't like Exy, but that didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun.

Neil met her eyes,"No."

Liar, she thought.

She chuckled slowly,"Warmups first. Andrew has oh so joyfully agreed to be in goal, you're not in high school anymore, Neil— time to show me what you're really made of."

She bother didn't asking him what the others had taught him, they'd been coming to the court every day for however long it'd been now. She couldn't find it in her to care about the progression of time these days, it all blurred and nothing really changed in her life except where she spent the night.

Neil fell into step beside her like they'd been teammates for years now, following her every move and doing his best imitation of it. She wasn't impressed and when they were finished warming up, she found herself bored out of her mind. She hadn't even broken a sweat yet, and she was pretty sure that pissed Kevin off because not a second after she stopped moving his fist slammed against the glass.

In one swift movement, her gloves came off and her middle fingers went up.

"Impatient ass." She grumbled as she turned to Neil to say,"Water break."

"I'm not thirsty." He said, seeming to take Kevin's side,"Let's just play."

"How sweet, you're not thirsty." She mockingly smiled,"That's gonna bite you in the ass in the middle of a game."

Maeve walked off the court, taking her time drinking water from the fountain. Neil was there when she turned around and she watched as he basically drowned himself with fast gulps and swallows,"Not thirsty, huh? Relax, not like the water's going anywhere."

He straightened up, but she didn't turn to leave and so he stood, staring at her. Until finally, he asked,"Why didn't you play with us before? Why now and why without the others?"

She leaned against the door, pushing it back with her weight, but not quite letting it open yet,"Why are you so scared of playing on the same court as Kevin? Why are you here despite it? What was that look when they were speaking German the first day you were here?"

"What look?" He ignored her other questions in favor of his most present issue.

"C'mon, Neil." She flashed him a grin,"There's no way you went home and didn't do your research the night we met. You know I speak seven languages, and I know the look of when you're trying to scramble your brain for the remnants of a language you haven't spoken in a while. You've got a secret, and I don't think it's just that you speak German too, what are you hiding?"

She wouldn't get an answer, she knew that.

"You aren't gonna say anything." Her words went in one ear and out the other as he focused solely on what she knew about him, his statement was half question, half don't you dare.

"Saying anything doesn't lead me to what I wanna know." Was all she said back.

Then she was caught off guard as the door was being pulled from the other side, she glared at Andrew as she recovered her balance.

He didn't even blink.

"Your boyfriend's patience is running thin, if you don't play soon he might just leave."

Maeve rolled her eyes,"First of all, Kevin has no patience to begin with, and second, he's not my boyfriend."

Dark amusement simmered in Andrew's eyes,"I never said which 'he'."

"Yeah, well, Nicky's as straight as a circle, and there's no way Aaron isn't fast asleep on the bleachers right now, so who else would you be talking about?" She scoffed.

She made her way to half court again and held her helmet between her knees while she fixed her ponytail before putting on her gloves. She gripped her racquet tight as she turned to face Neil, she'd said what she needed to say. He was unsettled. That was all it took.

     The rest of their time on the court went as followed: Neil, trying to pretend he wasn't distracted by what Maeve had revealed she already knew about him, Andrew, not letting a single shot of Neil's in, and Maeve, equally as fast as Neil, shoving him twice as hard as she cared to, blocking his every way.

In short, they were all screwing with each other, tension was thick enough to slice through with a knife, and it wasn't even a real game. If Maeve knew Kevin the way she thought she did, he'd be very displeased by their performance.

     Neil hadn't made a single goal and was panting by the time she finally felt herself slow down, she patted him on the back,"Bet you're glad you took that drink now, if you think that's bad, just wait until you play against your actual opponents."

She wouldn't say she'd enjoyed herself, but there was something slightly entertaining about watching Neil trip over himself to try and keep up with her. Her tactics worked marvelously, as they always had before, and Neil was honestly anywhere but the actual court the entirety of their non-scrimmage.

     Andrew had already walked off and she started after him, Neil's footsteps were heavy this time as he began following her again.

     "You didn't give me a single pass!" He exclaimed, she hated the way he sounded almost satisfied by that fact,"Not one chance to take a shot unless I earned it... why don't you always play like that? I've seen reruns, half the time you look like you couldn't care less."

     "I don't." She answered simply.

"Why?"

This time she denied him a shot at answers. He hadn't denied having looked her up earlier, the internet said more than enough, and she was well aware that stuff never went away. It was why she didn't have social media, and her phone was older than her non-friends and confidants, Abby and Betsy.

So she kept her mouth shut, always.

     They made their way around to the others, she pushed her helmet into Kevin's hands.

     "Everything you dreamed it'd be?"

     He was still glaring at her, and again she felt like laughing at him. She didn't want the others to see though, so she tapped his chin up and made a remark,"You look prettier with your mouth shut." She brought her bottom lip down between her teeth, settled for a quick glance at his, and started walking backwards as she addressed the group as a whole now, though her eyes were still on him.

"See you at dinner, boys."

     Maeve felt exhausted as she leaned against the tile walls of the shower stall, letting steam fill the room and cloud all her senses. She wasn't physically tired, physically she could run a marathon and still have the energy to make fun of Kevin and the twins and help with dinner. Mentally, though, she felt like she'd run a lifetime of marathons and hadn't yet felt the ribbon break around her waist. She sighed, reaching to turn off the water just as a knock sounded in the next room.

Her hands reached for the towel on the hook of her stall as she quickly dried herself off. She was struggling with her shirt when the impatient ass on the other side of the door started banging on it again, she groaned as she made her way to the door and swung it open while glaring,"Dude, what?!"

Kevin stood there, her helmet in his hands, with an unreadable expression on his face, words seemed to elude him as he pushed further on the door, helmet forgotten — which she just barely managed to avoid from squashing her bare feet, fuck you for that, Kevin — as he placed one hand at her hip and buried the other deep in her wet hair. His lips were on hers before she could scold him for any of the number of things she was annoyed at him for right now and she suddenly didn't care for.

He was kissing her. Kevin was kissing her.

A million thoughts were racing through her mind as Kevin swallowed her groan with his mouth and stuck his tongue so far down her throat she could taste the last thing he'd eaten. Strawberries.

     Maeve would have to come up with a new way to measure time, she realized as her attention was fully seized by Kevin. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. And then she had it— before and after Kevin's kisses. Before was logic, her happy to continue the way they'd been since he'd shown up unexpectedly and she had no idea what to do with him. When she'd goad him at every chance that he was buzzkill, had only one working brain cell, and glared at him for no reason other than she liked pushing his buttons.

She didn't want to give any of that up, of course, but after experiencing the feel of his mouth pressing against hers... the fact that she hadn't dreamt it up and it truly did feel that good, well, she wanted more of it. His lips, his overwhelming smell all around her, his hands gripping her waist like he was scared she'd vanish if he loosened his hold on her.

Now she wanted to laugh and throw herself into his arms every time he scowled at her because she teased him relentlessly. She wanted to bring her thumb to the crease between his eyebrows and smooth away his anxiety. She wanted to wait a full minute before grinning and telling him it was all a joke because she didn't mean it, because she actually cared.

     Fuck.

     She was starting to care.

And if she let herself... Maeve knew she'd lose herself completely in him.

She'd try and help him lessen his newfound dependence on alcohol, she'd spend hours running her fingers over the scarring on his hand and kissing away the tears that managed to escape his stupidly beautiful green eyes, and eventually, after she'd devoted all she could to him, he'd break her heart.

With those thoughts, a stream of anger shot its way through her bloodstream. She felt herself grow hot, the sour taste of strawberries on her tongue becoming unbearable. She couldn't go through it again.

And so, she pried her lips away from Kevin, under the excuse of...

"Too fast."

His brows furrowed as he looked down at her, eyes jumping from one point to another on her face. It wasn't hard to see she was bullshitting him, what with the way she'd kissed him. She swallowed, unease gnawing away at her stomach with each passing second that he didn't say anything, or even stare harshly at her like he tented to do day after day.

She looked into his eyes, inhaling slowly, forget being vulnerable and shirtless, what would his gaze tell her? Would they mimic her own, show anger? Hurt? Contempt? Relief?

She knew she should hope for the last. It was the easiest way out, him coming to terms that he didn't want this— didn't want her.

But a part of her hoped otherwise.

She didn't know how long they stood there, looking at each other, as she let her mind take over. It'd been too long since she'd been wanted, since she'd been anyone's first choice. It was selfish of her to think, but if Kevin were to need anything— anyone... she wanted for it to be her. She wanted to be the one he counted on, his confidant, the one there to protect him when it came down to it. She'd already told him she would, he didn't even have to want her to.

She would.

Her heart beat heavy in her chest as she waited, and when that emotion finally danced across his gaze, she grasped on to it.

Acceptance.

For the second time that day she was caught off guard, only this time, there was no way she didn't fall.

Kevin brushed his thumb across her cheekbone, his arm still wound tight around her hips as she fought the urge to lean into his palm while hoping, praying that Kevin was holding the safety net for her at the bottom.