✪10✪

I woke up to a revolting smell which reminded me of the Hydrogen Sulphide gas that I had accidentally inhaled during my Chemistry practical period. I tried to move my head, only to find it stuck in the life-extinguishing position, a bulky arm pressing my poor innocent skull into the side of a hard body. I shoved with all my might but the person holding me didn’t budge.

Damn Jungkook, his stinky underarms and great body weight that imprisoned me in the most uncomfortable position known to mankind. I exhaled deeply through my mouth, watching his pristine white shirt ripple slightly.

“Need help?”

I’ll admit it.

I screamed.

It wasn't my fault. Hearing a sudden and highly unexpected cocky voice was really spooky!

And then Hoseok screamed after me, his sleep-filled voice echoing around the room as his virtuous, guiltless and blameless, only half awake body tried to escape whatever danger it was in. Like a creepy dominoes effect, a very much awake and aware Sarah also let out one of her piercing train whistle shrieks, followed by a it's-my-turn-to-shine yell from Jin and lastly, an unconcerned and annoyed shut-up-right-now-before-I-bash-your-thick-skull-in groan from Yoongi.

And.
Jungkook.
Did.
Not.
Move.

Not.
One.
Blo.ody.
Centimetre.

I may have released a few tears signalling my grief over my untimely demise, the reason being Jungkook’s wonderful-odour-filled and sweaty armpits.

“Jin,” my mortified muffled voice grumbled. “Stop scaring people and get this big oaf to release me.”

Jin’s beautiful laugh echoed around the room as his taut biceps flexed and he effortlessly lifted Jungkook’s arm and dragged my bedraggled body out by yanking my hands. I collapsed in his arms. “That was hell. You don't need Satan, you just need Jungkook and his big fat-”

“Take a bath, baby. You smell like a public toilet now,” Jin interrupted me and gently pecked my forehead. My ears turned bright red.

“Baby?”

He grinned uncomfortably. “Is that okay? I thought all night about it," he exclaimed proudly.

“Wow um- one night to think of the word 'baby'? I- Google could have helped you in like one quarter of a second but whatever works for you, I guess," I shrugged. I pulled his cheeks on seeing his slightly crestfallen face at my less-than-enthusiastic response. "I like it," I consoled him. "Although I’d rather you call me pet names in private when Sarah is not ogling at us like we’re chimpanzees in a zoo.”

Both of us turned around to see her clutching a glass of sparkling water with an orange umbrella as though her life depended on it, and watching us innocently. “ 'Sup?”

“Where’d you get that?” I asked incredulously.

“Kitchen is filled with heaven,” she informed me brightly. “This is the first course.”

“I stocked this place up completely a while back,” Jin muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, his tongue poking around the inside of his cheek. “I visited last month and furnished the area.”

“Can we order breakfast?” Sarah asked. “My stomach is revolting. My intestinal villi have organised a scouting expedition and they're slowly climbing up my oesophagus to look for food.”

“I want to cook," Jin pouted. “It’s been ages since I saw a fully functional stove.”

“You can do what you want but if I puke out my lungs, then it's all on you."

“Don't worry," I assured her. "If you think what you are drinking is heaven, then wait till some of his stuff enters your mouth," I mumbled happily. "You'll forget that your balls exist."

“That is not a normal thing to forget but whatever. Seokjin," Sarah clapped her hands together, her icy blue eyes sparkling like her drink. “Serve me.”

I sniggered at Jin’s dumbfounded and insulted expression. “Did you just tell me to serve you?”

Sarah waved her hands airily. “Serve me, surprise me, impress me, whatever. But most important of all, feed me.”

“Are all girls this commanding?” Jin stared helplessly at Hoseok who froze, the chocolate that he was slowly nibbling pausing limply in his deft fingers. “I literally know two females, both of whom order me around and you know what the worst part is?”

“Uh,"  Hoseok muttered, glancing longingly at his melting cocoa-filled confection.

“I listen! That’s right, I listen and accept the tyranny! But not anymore! Today I fight!”

Sarah and I exchanged amused glances. I ran my longest finger down Jin’s cheek and watched him shiver in satisfaction. “Are you saying that you don’t want to cook, sweetie?”

“What? I-I want to cook!”

“Do you really though?” Sarah muttered thoughtfully, scratching her chin at perfect timing. “You just gave us no end of a wigging about how you don’t want to cook.”

“Ay, I think we should make breakfast!” I told her energetically, smirking at Jin. “I found this technique on YouTube that if you increase the flame and pour an egg over the pan then more often than not you’ll get this pancake like thingie and only if you’re severely unlucky, the house might burn do-”

“Okay, stop, you manipulative spawn of Lucifer!" Jin spluttered. “I will cook, okay! Do not enter my kitchen!”

“You will?” I asked sweetly. “Aw, thanks baby. You are really considerate at times."

I winked at a stuttering Jin, threw a pale pink polka dotted towel over my shoulder for more efficient theatrics and made my way to the bathroom.

***

I smiled. My reflection grimaced back at me.

“Holy-," I muttered, leaning forward and pressing my hands to my cheeks. I pulled down my lower eyelids and stared at my red eyes and gaunt face.
I grabbed a hairbrush from my bag and started combing through my hair roughly. “How is he always glowing?" I demanded angrily to myself. “He literally looks like a sculpted artefact of a Greek God and here I am, looking like a withered apricot.”

A few hairs floated down as a result of my harsh combing and I winced.

Hair fall was going to be the death of me.

I abandoned taming my sprightly mane and stepped into the bathtub. After turning several different taps, clean lukewarm water gushed out and I made it foamy and bubbly with the various colourful bath salts that my friends had given me for my fifteenth birthday.

I shed my grimy clothes and gingerly slid into the water as gracefully as I could but as expected, some of the tinted water sloshed out onto the blue tiles. I groaned in frustration and continued to soak myself in bliss.

***

When I finally left the bathroom, I was groomed and clean and smelt nice. At least I hoped I did. Jin saying I smelt like a public toilet hurt my sentiments.

Now I smelt like lemons and apples.

Huzzah!

I straightened my black full-sleeve hoodie and threw my used towel and clothes onto the rotting compost heap which consisted of the garments worn by Jin, Hoseok and Sarah yesterday.

A mouth-watering smell of salad doused in Jin's infamous seasoning, bean sprout rice, cold cucumber soup and grilled short ribs steaming deliciously on the table wafted up my nostrils.

“That looks amazing," Sarah commented, licking her lips and clapping Jin appreciatevly on his shoulder. “But don’t traditional breakfasts have more meat?”

“Yeah. But Joan is vegetarian.”

“You are?” Sarah turned miserably to me. “Oh, you poor thing!” She patted my head consolingly. “Don’t worry, someday I’ll stuff goose spleen down your mouth when you are sleeping.”

I ripped her hands off my skull. “You’ll do no such thing!”

Her blue eyes shined happily. “We’ll see.”

I stepped over Jungkook’s muscular hand and made my way over to my phone. I started scrolling through my list of alarm ringtones, trying to decide which one was more horrendous to wake up to.

“What are you doing?” Sarah stuck her head forward inquisitively, resting her chin on my shoulder.

“Waking sleepy head.” I absentmindedly glanced at Yoongi who was pouting at the trees outside the window, before settling on a police siren alarm.

I placed my phone next to Jungkook’s face before sitting at the table.

“I’m guessing this is usually fun," Sarah said, joining me on the front row seat.

“Definitely. Although he is growing immune to noise.”

After a few minutes of my phone wailing its non-existent lungs out, Jungkook flailed around desperately,  trying to cover his ears and shove the device away at the same time.

“Now," I said declared proudly. “He’ll get entangled in his shirt.”

Sarah snorted as Jungkook’s shirt twisted around before trapping his arms in strange positions, one hand clasping his foot and the other stuck in a groping position, hanging over the side of the bed. He let out a moan and several whines as I pulled back the curtains to reveal the bright sun outside.

“Joan," he grumbled. “Take it away!”

“Open your eyes.”

“No," he mewled pitifully.

“Then find the phone and throw it yourself.”

“Please," he begged me. “It hurts my ears and the sun hurts my photosensitive eyes.”

“You are not chlorophyll, you creep! Photosensitive, my ass. Move the device by yourself."

He frowned sadly.

His hand reached out blindly and grabbed my wrist, making me topple forward. “Joan, please!”

“Okay, let me go," I wriggled in his strong grip and relented and I heard his sigh of glee. He left my arm and smiled happily with his eyes closed. I grabbed the phone and turned off the alarm.

“Jin has made food which you probably won’t get if you continue to stay on the floor like a baby.”

He opened one eye and stared at me. “Food?”

“No, cardboard.” I rolled my eyes.

“Huh?”

“Yes, food!”

“Okay, I’m getting up now! Wait, I can’t. Some dumb piece of cloth is draped over my skull.”

I growled several curses under my breath. “I’ll get him out," Hoseok said brightly.

“Would you? Thanks Hobi!”

“My cell is ringing.”

I turned around to see Jungkook marvelling at his Iron Man wallpapered phone.

“Then pick it up!"  Sarah groaned.

Jungkook stuck his tongue out at her and accepted the call. “Hello?”

“Uh hi, I-I’m Taehyung. Is this Sarah’s phone?”

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A/N_

Ohoho Christmas came early, I can't believe-
Grammys!
Actual fricking Grammys!
Omfg I'm so proud of them shskgjlhb
They deserve the whole fricking world I love them so much ahh