✪37✪

“Joan-,” Jin started and I raised the gun, pressed the trigger and shot him in the chest. His eyes turned wide and my breathing turned heavier as both of us stared at the gunshot wound which was rapidly oozing dark red blood.

The gunshot wound in Mr. Malhotra’s chest.

“Shot him in the chest?” Jin raised his eyebrows. “You made it sound like you fricking shot me! To be fair, both of us are ‘him’ but still…” He stepped forward and I hissed as the urge to kill him increased. I drew back and shrunk against the wall. My gaze landed on the pool of blood on the floor which was reflecting the bright lights of the room, and the unmoving body of the Doctor. That could have been Jin.

I whimpered as it registered in my mind.

That could have been Jin.

The still corpse could have been my best friend, my boyfriend, my everything, and all because I didn’t have enough control over myself.
“Joan?” Jin frowned and took a few steps towards me, the heel of one of his buckle shoes making clicking noises as it pressed on the floor, and the other making ugly squishing sounds as that foot had been in the blood and so the shoe was sticking to the floor. I looked up in fright. In my musings, I hadn’t realised how close he had gotten. His fingers grazed my arm and an electric shock went through my body. I raised the gun and shot Jin in the head.

Click.

He blinked uncertainly and stared at me and then looked down at the gun which had fallen from my hand. There were no bullets left.

There were no bullets left.

I sank to the floor, my mind numb. I shot him. I nearly killed him. Because some idiot had left only one bullet in the gun which I had used on Dr. Malhotra, Jin was still alive, but that didn’t change the fact that I would have killed him.

I screamed as he touched me again. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “There were no bullets, it’s okay. I’m okay.” Tears made my vision blurry as those little salty raindrops flowed down my cheeks and collected on my chin, slowly dripping to the ground. He kneeled down next to me and I backtracked away from him quickly.

“Stay away from me,” I muttered, my voice hoarse. “I can’t lose you,” I hiccupped as more sobs burst out.

“You won’t hurt me, it’s okay, Joan.”

“Stop saying that! It’s not okay!” I screamed as I continued to edge away from him. “I would have killed you! Killed you, do you not fricking understand! YOU COULD HAVE DIED!”

“But you didn’t-” Jin touched my knee and I wailed. He was pushing the limits that my body had involuntarily set for myself.

Limits of how much I could handle the presence of Kim Seokjin before giving in to the temptation of killing him. Before giving in to the pain that was demanding my attention, trying to make me hurt him.

Before my willpower crumbled and I took the life of the person I loved most.

I staggered to my feet and tried to push his fingers away from my leg. “Let go.”

“No,” his grip tightened, like he expected me to fight and run away from him.

He was right.

I was not going to be around him if I wanted him dead. Risking my life was one thing, but risking his life was something else altogether. Something worse. More painful, mentally and physically than being drowned by my father in a tub of alcohol. Something I would never do.

I twisted around harshly, making my knee nearly return to its earlier state of brokenness before his fingers left the limb after sensing my agony. I gritted my teeth as I took a few steps behind and I stumbled and fell, letting out a cry of anguish as my hands came in contact with my knife. No. I wasn’t going to stab him.

I wasn’t.

My left hand didn’t feel the same way and it rose higher. I slammed my waist hard on the sharp tip which was facing upwards. I was not going to stab Jin. I screamed as my abdominal muscles tore when the knife implanted itself in my stomach.

“Joan!” He rushed towards me once more but I was expecting that. I kicked one of the carts into his way unexpectedly and he smashed his way right into it. His feet left the ground as he flew through the air and slammed into a wall to my right. I clutched a different wall as I tried to get to my feet with my stomach nearly bleeding itself out and my knee having been twisted in an awkward angle.

I didn’t hurt Jin.

I didn’t hurt Jin.

I repeated the mantra over and over as I persuaded my feet to get moving. I could barely see with my tear-crusted eyes and spinning vision but I knew enough about which way to go.
Away from Jin. That was the way to go.

So I looked at him one last time and limped away from the place.

***

“Joan!”

Doors opening. Doors slamming shut. Screams echoing in the hallways. Gunshots. More screams of pain. I slowly laid my head on the ground as dizziness washed over me once more. I was under the bed in one of the rooms. I was hiding.

I wasn’t sure if I was hiding from my friends or from the enemy.

Most probably the former.

Sometime during my unsteady stumble away from Jin, Namjoon and Taehyung had turned up and they would have caught up with me, had someone not shot Namjoon in the shoulder, causing the pair to turn their attention away from me. I had continued away from them.

Away from Jin.

They could manage by themselves. One bullet to the shoulder wouldn’t make Namjoon any slower and they would continue fighting. Somehow, I hadn’t met Yoongi, Hoseok or Jimin and I was thankful. They would make me go back to Jin.

I didn’t want to go back to Jin.

“Joan!” The screams were much closer. So they had finally found me. I had been under the bed for at least thirty minutes and it had been thirty very peaceful minutes in which I didn’t have to worry about my crumbling sanity. “Stomach wound, you say?” That was Jimin.

No reply.

“She is under the bed,” a gruff voice muttered and I shrank back into the wall. This wasn’t Jimin. It was somebody else.

“And you know that, how?” Another voice, also not Jimin. My lips quivered as I tried to blend in with the shadows. Would they kill me quickly? I had been through so much, I deserved at least a painless ending, right? Right?

“See the blood, you doofus. The kid was saying something about severe stomach wound so this has to be her blood.”

“Taste it,” a third voice suggested. “The blood of Ingenium is supposed to be sweet.”

“That’s diabetes, you fool!” the first man snapped. “Trevor, I swear, if you lick that bloody thing-”

“It’s normal,” the second man shrugged. “Tastes normal.”

“And that wasn’t gross at all,” the first man muttered. “How do we get her out?”

“Hold the bed,” Trevor said. “If the two of you hold the bed, I can stand by and take her as she gets out.”

“Why do you get to hold the bed?” the third voice demanded. “I’m more tired, I should be allowed to do as I please!”

“George,” the first man angrily quipped and I could almost see him rubbing his eyes in frustration. “Take that end. Trevor, be warned, she fights like a lion, it won’t be easy.”

Fights like a lion. Fights like a lion. The words played over and over in my hazy mind. Who fought like a lion? Was it me? I couldn’t remember. Several annoyed grunts later, the bed above me rose and I saw two bulky pair of arms which were strained under the weight of the wooden frame of the bed.

“Hello,” Trevor said cautiously.
I waved my hand tiredly. Hello death.

“Why is she waving there?” Trevor whisper-yelled at his comrades. “Can she not see me?”

“Tiredness,” the first man shrugged.

“Can you move?” Trevor asked. Was he asking me? I couldn’t tell. So I continued to stare at him and he took a step back uncomfortably. “I don’t think she is all here.”

“Meaning?” George snapped.

“I think she’s um- delirious.”

“Whatever,” the first man grumbled. “Lift her out if she can’t move. How heavy can a sixteen year old be? Certainly not more than this bloody bed that you are not helping in holding up.”

Trevor bent down and gently tucked his hands under my armpits and slowly dragged me up. I flopped uselessly on him and winced as my stomach and knee protested to the movement. I turned and vomited all over the floor and then wiped my mouth on my bloody tattered shirt. All three men jumped back, away from the sudden splatter that erupted from my mouth and I stood light-headed for a moment before the pain took over and I collapsed.

***

I wasn’t going to hurt Jin.

Where did that thought come from? I barely winced as someone roughly grabbed my hair and pressed a cool metal barrel to the side of my skull. That felt good. The coolness was nice, a temporary relief. I relaxed into the metal.

It felt nice.

“Give up now or she dies.”

Who dies? Why wasn’t I dying? I had had enough with all that shit. I didn’t want to fight anymore. “Can someone kill me?” I muttered hopefully and several men burst into laughter. What was so funny? I was serious. I wanted out.

Life had given me nothing but pain and pain and then just when I thought things were becoming better, it provided me with more pain. I wanted out. What was so amusing about that? They were making fun of me. I was dying and they found it funny. Bloody scavengers.

I gripped the hilt of my knife and slammed it into the hand of the person holding the nice cool metal. I thought I hit the hand, but judging from the gurgling sounds which spluttered out so quickly, I might have accidently hit the throat. No matter. Just add it to the list of lives that Joan had taken. Is that why I wasn’t dying? Was it punishment? For killing so many people? They tried to kill me first. But in the end, I was alive and they were not. I deserved pain. I took the lives of people without their permission. Not everybody had a death wish like me. Small hands lifted me up and I felt myself bounce as the person ran. I snuggled into the warm body but the person didn’t complain. Even the warmth was nice.

I was feeling better.

I didn’t want to feel better.

Why was I healing?

“Jimin,” I croaked. “Please just let me die.” The boy didn’t reply. He continued moving. Great. Just great. “Jimin, please, I-I don’t-”

“Shush,” he closed my eyes and placed a finger on my lips. “It’s going to be okay.”

I stayed quiet, not because I wanted to, but because his voice was soothing. Maybe if I kept silent, he would reward me by speaking some more. He had a beautiful voice.

“Jimin, say something,” Jin mumbled urgently. “She likes your voice.” Jin? No! I wanted to kill Jin! I started squirming in Jimin’s hold. “Let me go, I can’t hurt him!”

“Jin! I told you to shut up,” Jimin grumbled before drawing me to his chest and sitting down. “You like my voice?” he whispered in my ear. “I’m talking, I’m talking-”

“I can’t hurt him,” I started crying. “Please, let me go, I want to just die, is that too much to ask for-?”

“Shush now,” Jimin said softly. “I’m going to talk so please, listen to me, okay?”

I slowly nodded. I liked his voice. It was soothing.

“We nearly lost Hobi but Yoongi was able to get to him just in time. You remember Hoseok?”

“Yes,” I mumbled into his chest. “He had nice abs.”

Jimin’s body vibrated as he laughed. “Yes, him. He nearly died today, trying to save you.”

“This is supposed to make me feel better?” I felt my sanity return slowly. "That everyone's dying because of me and my mistakes?"

“No. It is supposed to remind you that people don’t want you gone. That your friends don’t want you dead. If anything, that you owe it to us to stay alive.” I remained quiet. “Can you do that for me, Joan? Can you want to stay alive?”

I looked up into his shining eyes which were glistening with tears. “I can.”

“Good,” he said. “Now you can meet Seokjin.”

“Jin?” I spun around wildly. “No! No! I’ll hurt him! Take him away-”

“What are my powers, Joan?”

“Huh?” I blinked at Jimin’s sudden change in topic.

“Answer me,” he said gently, rubbing his fingers on my cheek. “You can heal?”

“That’s right. You have stayed in my arms for the past forty-five minutes, did you know?”

“I- what?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, pressing his soft lips on my nose. “Chances are, the drug has left your system but there is only one way to find out. Jin wants to meet you very badly. Don’t avoid him, please. I promise you, being next to him won’t risk his life anymore. But the question is, would you be willing to find out? Would you be willing to try? You won’t hurt him, I promise you. Can you handle his presence? For me? For him?”

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A/N_

Gdjgkho second last chapter ಥ‿ಥ

For some reason, this chapter always makes me cry. I hope I managed to convey the emotions properly lol cause I'm usually terrible at this stuff

Thank you for reading, and hello to new readers lol, I saw the views increase by forty or something yesterday wHo iS rEaDiNg my stuff
I didn't think anyone was interested in Ingenium anymore👉👈

This chapter is for someone who has been with me from the start of my little Wattpad life (from the previous fail of a book actually lmaoo) sksneh jvjvjvks beach I miss you😭

Wish you were doing neet w me lmaoo we'd have made so much fun of everything 💀✋

Also if you don't do the fashion show and send the video to me, I'll kidnap you🤺

Edit: she did the fashion show 😈

Love you lol
Byee piggies🖤

Also if there are any typos or grammatical errors, just ignore them igihoo the chapter is unedited (˘⌣˘ )

Uufigkvkvk I hate the painters for ripping this apart, I will forever curse them in my prayers ಥ‿ಥ

Byebye ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ